So i didnt get to watch live this week only got to follow along with tweets and then see the tumblr ramblings. So i went into the episode already not happy about the marina/jack sperm donor possibility and what may gave happened. But then i watched the episode and i have a different opinion though i do want to say two things first. One i am not really a fan of using jack as the donor but if that happens I’ll hold final judgement until i see it play out (im hopeful if they do some of danielle’s conversations on the topic with her own life experience will come into play) and two i dont think they will, honestly believe its a misdirect.
Okay so my opinion on the episode. I had thought before the episode that they had decided to use a knowb donor and that was that. But i was happy to see they are still trying to decide whether to use a known donor or not which is very real. So them discussing in the abstract using even jack didn’t bother me because its very real. They are still considering all possibilities and may move on to discussing with a few of the guys even jack about it ( even if they only talk to jack i feel like travis would find out and offer to help as well which could open up the possibility of travis) (side note i just thought of, there will be testing for the donor to go through so what if jacks sterile).
But anyways i think we are a ways off from picking a donor and doing the procedure, so im cautiously optimistic and going to hold off judgment for now. So yea thats my two cents. Side note im going to make a post related to this without station 19 tags so if anyone is interested in understanding better my take on this click on the tag below “our conception story”
A few thoughts about marina based off last episode. First carina’s comment is valid. She isnt thinking about how maya took off work to be with her while she was greiving andrew or ignored a 5 or 4 alarm fire for her when Andrew was in the hospital. She is thinking of when Maya said she’d go with her to italy and didnt. She also doesn’t know that maya basically blew off her inspection to go help andrew and carina. She only sees now that the loss of maya’s captaincy is looming over their heads and has been for over a year and is maya’s focus especially on the job. I wish she’d made that statement in front of andy who could’ve reminded her of those instances.
Second thing i firmly believe once maya decided to have a baby with carina she bought all kinds of books on fertility, artificial insemination, and making a baby betwen two women. Girl doesnt do thing half way she studies and prepares and she has a pro con list somewhere of using known donors vs anonymous, her carrying vs carina, possible complication all of it. I just need carina to see it and be like oh okay you are all in on this. I truly believe her comment is just fear that maya made a rash decision and doesnt really want to have a baby with her. Just my thoughts, also if anyone wants to fic these things feel free.
Has anyone written marina olympic fanfic, where both are competing in the games? Like maya for track and carina for some aquatic sport and meet, hookup and fall in love or for maya something like skiing or hockey or snowboarding and carina for figure skating.
I dunno the Olympics have started and im watching curling and there is a italian player name stefania and i couldnt not think of marina.
It is so frustrating to me the people hating on maya deciding she wants kids. Never in the entire run of the show do i remember her saying “i dont want kids.” Even in the episode she and carina get engaged she alludes to the nuclear family with her marrying a man and presumably what comes with that, (kids) as per her fathers wishes after reaching a certain rank in the fd.
Now i am not sure the age of most fans of station but im mid 30s and have friends from all walks of life in the straight and lgbtq+ community. I am a bisexual woman married to a bisexual woman and we have a nearly 3 year old daughter. Now i like carina always wanted to be a mom, my wife not so much but similarly to maya she hadnt gave it much thought outside of not wanting to carry a baby. She grew up in a very religious home and was adopted and very closeted. But once we got together and realized it was moving long term, i was very upfront with her and told her kids were not negotiable for me. I told her if that was something she did not want explicitly then we needed to end things before we got deeper into our relationship. She said we could have kids but she wasnt ready yet and we decided we’d discuss it when she turned 25. We did and decided it wasnt the right time and revisited it. Then after turning 30 she said she was ready and we pursued iui and when that failed us we found another way to conceive. This is one reason i am excited to see marina’s child journey. It is something we don’t see for wlw in media very often.
Now all that said, like i mentioned i have friends through very different walks of life. One friend who is wlw and long time married apparently tried for kids in their youth but were unsuccessful and decided then that they were not meant to be moms, embraced that and are quite happy. Now if you’d have asked me, i would’ve guessed they never wanted kids but as i learned that was not the case.
Another wlw friend had a child with a man in her younger days but was forced to give her up for adoption and has always wanted to be a mom. Her life has not worked out for that and now she and her wife know they dont have the means to support a child and have made peace with that. They are the best non biological aunts to my daughter and to their other friends children. I know if the opportunity ever arose for them to take custody of a friends kid they would gladly do it and be so happy.
Now i also have a friend who is in a long term relationship but has said multiple times she isnt sure she wants kids (similar to maya). She is from a religious family so its expected for her to get married and have kids. But in true pk form she is subverting that by living with her long time boyfriend and not having a kid. However since she has not ever explicitly told me she does not want kids, i would not be surprised for her to one day say she is becoming a mother.
Now i have two other friends who both said they didnt want kids. One is wholeheartedly not going to have kids to the point of doing a legit ted talk about it. The other met and fell in love with an older man with three young kids and decided she was willing to take on the stepmother role even with drama from the kids and ex, but together she and her hubby decided they did not want to add a child of their own to the mix. She is therefore sticking to her not having kids but is helping raise her husbands.
My sister always said she didnt want kids and then got pregnant at 18, she had two accidents and then decided after reconnecting with her childhood sweetheart and marrying him to try for a third.
So for me i dont question women when they say they dont want kids because i know for some that can and will change and for others it wont. In light of my experiences and friends i dont think maya’s decision is out of left field or out of character. I think more people need to think long and hard before putting their own hopes for the character on her. Let the story play out, if you think maya is less badass by becoming a mother then thats on you. I for one think moms are badass.
MAYA BISHOP, CARINA DELUCA and PRUITT MILLER I Station 19 5.06
As a lesbian mother I’m excited to see their path to becoming moms. Side note im pretty sure maya’s look is the same i make when watching our daughter interact with my wife
So, I’ve been thinking about Marina’s relationship as a whole and I realised that there are a couple of things I wish we got to see.
1. The beginning of their relationship. I mean we know that they hooked up and exchanged numbers after meeting at the bar. But it would have been nice to see Maya processing the fact that Carina was actually someone she wanted in her life. I wonder what exactly made Carina different, maybe she felt lonely cuz her team was mad at her or she probably felt a pull to Carina that she couldn’t explain. Probably a combination of both.
2. Although I’m over it, I really wish we saw them having a proper conversation about the cheating. Particularly what led up to it, Maya coming to terms with her dad’s treatment of her, what led to her cutting her hair etc.
3. Maya finally being able to take Carina to the airport! But seriously, it must have been really sad to get engaged then separated just a couple days later for six weeks. They would’ve definitely killed that scene. Also the reunion would’ve been nice to see.
4. There were a lot of things we didn’t see during the wedding but I would’ve really loved to see them put their rings on for the first time as they’ve become a huge symbol of their love.
5. Flashbacks of the first 10 months of their marriage. There’re so many things we don’t know. Did Maya’s mom stay with them? Was Andy there too? Did they even have a honeymoon? So many questions
6. Their anniversary
If anyone fics these please tag me. Im highly interested in reading these.
So i completely forgot that there were witnesses to this scene specifically travis and warren (who may confided in about kids questions). But now that im reminded can we please get a scene of them bringing it up to her now in s5.
And since we most likely wont can someone fic it, hell have them do it in front of carina.
My take: not sure why there is so much unhappiness and hate about Marina and Carina in the episode.
Yes Carina is an obgyn but is also a doctor who has basic medical condition from before she became specialized in obstetrics, so its feasible she would be able to treat more than mamas.
That being said maya said she volunteered to help. My guess she saw a need and though she was upset with her wife - she probably still wanted to be around her (24 hour shifts are no joke) but also wanted to be around to support her wife and the team for the push in.
The hat for carina being bitchy with sullivan surprises me because i remember over the summer i saw many people wanting carina to go off on him in defense of maya. Now yes there was a time jump but i think this was the only time she was around him closely because i believe the pandemic ended just before the first episode. So them just now being around him to express her displeasure with him, feeling like he has contributed to maya not wanting kids and maybe being a bit ruffled that he started explaining for her to the dad as if she wasnt the doctor, she wasnt in control and maybe feeling like he didnt respect her as a woman and doctor in that moment - makes her comment, and interactions with him completely understandable.
Further i think what carina was trying to accomplish with the sex qnalogy is to convey to maya her displeasure that they did not discuss kids instead feeling like maya just shut it down much like miller said.
The sullivan and carina italian exchange didnt bother me or come off as rude despite maya not understanding it. Like im sure by this point maya is learning basics but is not fluent enough to follow wants though she does understand tones. Sullivan approached carina and chose to speak in Italian when it wouldve been reasonable to thank her in english, instead approaching her like they were close. So im sure that further pissed her off. I mean lets consider who she speaks to in italian; her lovers, her brother and her friends and noone else we’ve seen.
I also don’t think the kid is what “turned maya around on kids”, as i was saying last week the way which her voice cracked when she said she cant have kids makes me believe she wants to but mulitple fears are impacting her desire for them. So instead i think her bbn interaction with the kid showed her that maybe she could do it and that she is not her dad and should not give up on what she wants.
Meanwhile carina’s behavior towarss the dad may have seemed harsh but i understand it. She was seeing it two ways and have an emotional response. She saw his behavior towards his son as abuse and im sire she thought of maya and her father as well as how her wifes past is coloring her decision even now. But carina also had genuine concern for her patient.
People also seem upset that carina was not working with addison, but why? We have a whole season for it and grey’s was about addisons return and dealing with the past which carina wasnt involved with. So my question is do we not want carina on station 19 ingeracting with her wife and the team??
And it made me think of maya and Andy jumping off the truck in the premiere. So being that everyone always has their phones surely someone filmed that and the news got ahold of it. So what was carina’s thoughts on it and how did their conversation about it go. Like im sure s bit was said about how incompetent the captain is but yea i need this ficd.
Let’s try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I’m currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.
I don’t really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.
The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.
The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.
The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.
The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.
I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.
Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.
Poor lawyer she’d be good for dean.
I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.
Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.
Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who’ve been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.
Also maya’s excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.
Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.
Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.
Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.
Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.
I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she’s queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.
Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.
This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.
Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.
I understand travis emotion here.
How’d this conversation about maya’s folks get started with andy???
I love that maya and andy’s friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.
Dean you shouldve spoken up there.
Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.
Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.
That poor boy.
The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.
So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean’s feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.
Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.
I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should’ve been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.
I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.
Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.
I also love the look of pride on maya’s moms face both at the house and the wedding.
Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.
Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.
Also with all maya’s options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.
Vic’s song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.
Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.
I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.
Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we’re good instead of reading them after seeing maya’s mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.
I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya’s mom to be there.
Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.
Another healing theo and travis talk.
Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.
Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.
This jack and andy conversation is interesting.
This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.
Its so funny that so few people know about Miller’s feelings at this point.
It’ll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.
Ben and bailey are so cute.
Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya’s mom or the 3 of them.
Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.
Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.
Too late dean, they tried to tell you.
I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.
Time for the horrible news ugh.
Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.
Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.
Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.
Going to try to do another rewatch before my family wakes up. We have a lot to do today and there is a dark cloud over the house after loaing our cat this week. Here’s hoping i can get through one of my favorite episodes before they get up.
Surrera is so cute here and the whole food thing, like girl where is our payoff on this baby that was so clearly teased. Or is there another medical condition that could be blamed on her excessive eating.
Im so glad maya and andy are friends again. I loge their friendship.
I’m glad andy acknowledges that getting married doesnt fix things; but i worry that if maya and carina hit a rough patch, andy will remind maya of this conversation or use her own issues with sullivan and their marriage as an i told you so.
Danielle is beautiful but does anyone else think she lost weight, random question but just looking at her in her uniform there she seems smaller and it worries me. Didnt really notice last time i watched this episode but am i alone in this.
Oh carina baby you so dont want to go. I just want to hug you.
Jack is so cute, he deserves a family so much but i really do fear he’ll be killed off.
Im surprised ben reached out to Sullivan instead of dean.
I love this outfit on maya. Carina your girl is flirting with you and thinking of happier times, engage with her.
I love that maya opens up with carina about her dad and the protests and the happenings in the world with him. It shows so much growth and im here for it. Also anyone else annoyed that one carina answered gabriella’s phone call when maya is opening up to her and two that she didnt turn it off for their last few hours together.
The look of like disappointment/devestation on maya’s face when carina answers the call and walks away from her is too much hurt.
So sad that bailey isnt there and that ben is alone for even a second of this.
I’m glad andy and sullivan came to be there with ben. Like i get why they wanted andy but im sad after ben and Dean’s episode dean wasnt there.
Oh jack, i dont even know what to say besides oh jack lol.
The drama with trash girl is too much lmao. I know its important for jack/inara but its just too much.
Carina packing up her knives being a trigger for maya like she’s leaving forever is heartbreaking.
Carina snapping at maya hurts, dont be mean to baby. Also the kitchen sign is totally carina’s doing and though she hadnt confided in maya yet that she is her home its a dead giveaway.
I really need screen grabs of the changing words on the sign.
The kids talk, the coming out talk and the marriage talk are all things that should not be done while packing or doing anything else.
Wait it totally sounded like she said “it felt pregnant” lmao or i just have babies on the brain.
Now carina being flirty and maya not reciprocating.
Maya you shouldve pushed the marriage talk now if it was what you really wanted. Instead of letting carina drop the i never wanted to get married bomb and walk away.
Andy and ben together, this friendship is beautiful. I feel like it took several seasons for ben to really get in good the team. Im trying to think of other moments besides the prt support and such when he really connected with folks before this season and none come to mind. He has been an outlier from my memory, tell me im wrong with examples please.
Lmao “you slept with my wife which means we are in a pod”, things a pandemic makes funny.
Thats just wrong, giving gibson shit still. Dont hit the puppy with the newspaper when he’s doing nothing wrong.
Once again with gabriella, seriously carina turn off your phone and be present with maya and maya alone.
Maya’s jealousy is everything. This argument ugh, so good and just the tip of the iceberg.
I hope that maya does take the month break and the months after to really get to know the us immigration system and what it will take for carina to become an american citizen as well as learn more italian. I dont need her fluent but id love to see her use some italian with carina. She lost her brother who she spoke to in her native tongue itd be nice for her to gain that in her wife.
I love how carina stops herself as she raises her voice at maya, like she realizes it may be triggering to maya. I really do think the show and actresses put in a lot in this episode to show how well they know each other and have grown. I feel like they talk more even if we dont see it and maya is working on her issues with carina’s love and support. I also do love how this argument ends though ;)
Once again maya opening up and finally carina is there and not sidetracked. And its nice carina opens up as well.
Ben’s dream with the different versions of himself and his mom is funny and heartbreaking.
Joey in the dream lmao.
The nice thing about ben is if he gets hurt on the job and cant be a firefighter anymore he has other professions to fall back on.
Oh jack. I just want you to get your happy ending.
I still think its so weird to be talking about jack after they had sex but im glad they are in a place that is so comfortable and can laugh about him.
Once again another bomb dropped, kids. This is something that needs to be discussed properly.
Oh maya dont drop the marriage bomb like that. And i guess i dont underatand the outrage of the “just because”, like why would carina think it was anything but that when it was dropped on her like that and after she said she didnt want to get married. This fight is so much about misunderstandings and hurtful comments.
I get how maya’s fear gets the best of her here especially after carina said they just moved in together because they didnt want to be apart (asif that is a bad thing) and it was bureaucracy.
And i can understand why maya’s fear hurts carina but they both needed to take a minute to breathe and try to talk it out.
I do like when carina tells maya to breathe, again like she knows her triggers and feels maya is on the verge of a panic attack.
If carina felt she married maya when she moved in i really dont see the harm in making it official. Would her having been moved out in italy for 6 months or more have felt like a divorce. I really need to know more about her logic here.
I agree why not just do it.
You’ve both said enough carina. I hate that she just walks away, so un carina like.
How did jack end up at the hospital? Was he called or what?
Andy is such a good friend this episode, checking on everyone.
Gabriella is so right noone wants to be proposed to the way maya kind of did. Like i cant help but wonder how carina would’ve taken a true proposal.
Im so glad gabriella spoke some truth to carina and turned her around on the marriage idea.
If we let the wrong decisionss rule how we live our lives things in the world would be so different. Less babies possibly and fewer marriages among other things.
Once again andy being a good friend this episode.
If carina hadnt shown up im curious what maya’s next move wouldve been after talking to andy.
Love the proposal and love how its carina who announces they are getting married.
For you, there’ll be no more crying. For you, the sun will be shining. And I feel that when I’m with you it’s alright, I know it’s right. To you, I’ll give the world. To you, I’ll never be cold. And I wish you all the love in the world but most of all, I wish it from myself.
From “I don’t need a girlfriend” to “I want another version of you that I can count my blessings on” I’ll never shut up about how perfect Maya’s development has been since season 1.
Passing by just to state that I will go down with this ship. Who’s tagging along?
I was worried about the “difficult conversation” mentioned on the summary, because of course I was worried - how could I not be? This is a Grey’s universe TV show after all…
But I was so amazingly surprised by this healthy, mature, cute and soft conversation.
What was difficult about that? (keeping myself together while watching it, that was difficult!)
(Of course, Maya had to gather courage to tell Carina she wouldn’t be going, but of course Carina had realized it wouldn’t be possible for her to go anyway. Both countries are messy, they both have different personal situations to take care of… They can just understand each other and that’s it. They love each other. They overcame a bunch of bad stuff, this too shall pass.)
