Fuckingobssessed with the concept of Techno being a fucking teenager during the Antartic Empire in dsmp lore
And the fact they share a birthday
I’m sorry but this is fucking hysterical
Just IMAGINE
Wilbur : Dad!!! Look!!! I made a friend!!! :D
Techno : wait“dad”-
Phil : oh you met Techno? Ah how lovely. He’s-
Wilbur : yeah! We’re also the same age!
Phil :
Phil : what
Techno : we also happen to share the same birthday lmao
Phil : what.
Wilbur : we’re like twins!! :D
Phil :
Phil, under his breath : technoplease tell me you are not 15 years old
I have like a lot of ways he finds out rattling in my brain hold on
A - If you like shapeshifter techno this ones for you
Techno’s human form kinda has a similar hair style to Wilbur at the time, and they meet up when he’s. A human and they have different hair colours but wilbur’s fucking :0!!!! About it and he’s like “you’re like. You’re like my twin techno…” and techno’s like “hnnoooooo no I am not” and then Wilbur asks (edit: abt borthdayz) and that just reinforces the idea in wilburs mind
B -
It’s wilbur’s birthday so he’s like telling techno about it and techno’s responds “oh huh it’s my birthday today too. Pretty sure.” And techno asks how old Wilbur is and Phil comments how will’s so young, only 15 and techno just goes :I AM LOOKING AWAY: and goes like “Phil are you okay to recieve information that could possibly alarm you”
Phil : oh he’s quite young, only 15!
Techno :
Phil : techno?
Techno : Phil do you consent to me sharing certain information that could possibly alarm you.
Phil : t-
Phil : techno how old are you
Techno :
Phil : techno.
Techno : phil.
Phil : please tell me you are not 15 years old technoblade
Wilbur : we’re like twins!!!!!!
Phil : techno.
Techno : phil.
Phil : techno please tell me i haven’t been COMMITTING WAR CRIMES WITH A 15 YEAR OLD
Techno : well technically you were committing them with a 14 year old
Phil : (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Ok but i raise you:
Techno : you’ve known me for like- 2 years haven’t you?
Phil :
Phil : oh my god.
Techno : *cackling*
Phil : YOU WERE THIRTEEN?
Techno : *cackles harder*
Wilbur : when I was 13 I was learning how to play guitar while you were committing war crimes? :(
Phil: when do piglins stop growing? do you just keep getting taller until you’re 30?
Techno: it’s pretty similar to humans, i think? we do most of our growing before 16
phil: wow, you’ve had a late growth spurt then?
techno:
phil:
phil: techno. please tell me you aren’t 16
techno: i am not 16
Phil : oh thank go-
Techno : I’m actually 15. Not sure how that’s any better?
Phil : wHAT
These headcanons are fucking brilliant I cant breathe-
This entire concept is gold
Imagine Phil sometimes still forgets Techno is 15 sometimes
Just
Techno : *voice crack*
Techno : ah. puberty. truly the bain of my existence.
Phil : puberty? What the f-
Phil : OH YEAH
Techno, with cuts on his face :
Phil : yikes- who tried to fight you this time?
Techno : I-
Techno, under his breath : …i tried to shave, Phil.
Phil, offering a glass of wine : rough day?
Techno : oh- no thanks.
Phil : oh you not a big wine person?
Techno :
Techno : philza minecraft i’m 15 years old.
“Philza Minecraft I am 15 years old”
I’m fucking deflating right now. Who gave you the right to be this funny??????
The funny has been bestowed upon me by god himself❤
God isnt real.
I know what you did.
Actually to make this even worsebetter, its fun to imagine techno telling all these stories from blitz, skywars, bedwars, etc. Only for post-reveal philza to realize all of that happened when techno was even younger than he is now
Just saying I do swear in this post. You have been warned.
So first thing, out of the three names we were given two of them are gods. That was Phil’s name of Zephyrus and the other mystery person’s name of Harpocrates. Techno’s name belonged to a hero, Protesilaus.
Now that’s strange for a few reasons mainly the whole “You want to be a hero Tommy? Then die like one” etc. Secondly, Protesilaus was part of a prophecy that said fist to land will die blah blah blah. Odysseus being the clever fuck he was decided nah mate imma land on my shield and Protesilaus was actually the first to step foot onto the land and was killed in a duel with Hector. Basically he was tricked. So… Techno u gonna become a hero in some sense? Maybe make an omelette? U gonna loose a cannon life?
Ok next. Phil. Zephyrus was the name we got for him and he is the Greek god of the west wind. Funny that PHILZA MINECRAFT, the one everyone draws with wings and calls the angel of death gets a god of WIND. That aint a coincidence. Not a chance in hell. Zephyrus was also known as the gentlest of the winds- Mr im going to fill in these creeper holes and get rid of this egg shit. As well as the fructifying (Which I had to look up, it means: make (something) fruitful or productive) wind and the messenger of spring. So spring, happy new beginnings etc being productive and doing spring cleaning. IDK this one just screams Phil to me. When I saw it the name looked familiar, I think it might be mentioned in percy Jackson but idk its been a while since I read it.
And the last one is Harpocrates (This one is in trials of apollo, I may have accidentally spoilt the books for me when researching though sad times), who didn’t show up. But Techno said “I don’t want to reveal the name of our fellow member until he feels like having his identity known.” The reason I’m pointing this out is because Harpocrates is the greek god of SILENCE, SECRETS and CONFIDENTIALITY… YEAH. I have also seen that he is sometimes called the embodiment of hope but idk how reliable that is.
So idk how these are going to be relevant or even if they will be plot wise other than code names. Like they could be little bits of information but it’s Techno he likes Greek mythology, which is why they’re used and why they could be plot relevant. But the way Phil’s fits his character and Harpocrates and what Techno said are linked because keeping identity confidential, makes me think they have a reason to be used I just can’t think of it right now.
