A cropped screenshot of a YouTube community post by Technoblade. It reads “JAILBREAK SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28TH 2 PM EST PROBABLY”. Attached is art by Jester_U on twitter of Techno breaking into jail.
new dsmp au. everything is the same except Technoblade’s got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big ol’ tonhongerekoogers.
Fuckingobssessed with the concept of Techno being a fucking teenager during the Antartic Empire in dsmp lore
And the fact they share a birthday
I’m sorry but this is fucking hysterical
Just IMAGINE
Wilbur : Dad!!! Look!!! I made a friend!!! :D
Techno : wait“dad”-
Phil : oh you met Techno? Ah how lovely. He’s-
Wilbur : yeah! We’re also the same age!
Phil :
Phil : what
Techno : we also happen to share the same birthday lmao
Phil : what.
Wilbur : we’re like twins!! :D
Phil :
Phil, under his breath : technoplease tell me you are not 15 years old
I have like a lot of ways he finds out rattling in my brain hold on
A - If you like shapeshifter techno this ones for you
Techno’s human form kinda has a similar hair style to Wilbur at the time, and they meet up when he’s. A human and they have different hair colours but wilbur’s fucking :0!!!! About it and he’s like “you’re like. You’re like my twin techno…” and techno’s like “hnnoooooo no I am not” and then Wilbur asks (edit: abt borthdayz) and that just reinforces the idea in wilburs mind
B -
It’s wilbur’s birthday so he’s like telling techno about it and techno’s responds “oh huh it’s my birthday today too. Pretty sure.” And techno asks how old Wilbur is and Phil comments how will’s so young, only 15 and techno just goes :I AM LOOKING AWAY: and goes like “Phil are you okay to recieve information that could possibly alarm you”
Phil : oh he’s quite young, only 15!
Techno :
Phil : techno?
Techno : Phil do you consent to me sharing certain information that could possibly alarm you.
Phil : t-
Phil : techno how old are you
Techno :
Phil : techno.
Techno : phil.
Phil : please tell me you are not 15 years old technoblade
Wilbur : we’re like twins!!!!!!
Phil : techno.
Techno : phil.
Phil : techno please tell me i haven’t been COMMITTING WAR CRIMES WITH A 15 YEAR OLD
Techno : well technically you were committing them with a 14 year old
Phil : (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Ok but i raise you:
Techno : you’ve known me for like- 2 years haven’t you?
Phil :
Phil : oh my god.
Techno : *cackling*
Phil : YOU WERE THIRTEEN?
Techno : *cackles harder*
Wilbur : when I was 13 I was learning how to play guitar while you were committing war crimes? :(
Phil: when do piglins stop growing? do you just keep getting taller until you’re 30?
Techno: it’s pretty similar to humans, i think? we do most of our growing before 16
phil: wow, you’ve had a late growth spurt then?
techno:
phil:
phil: techno. please tell me you aren’t 16
techno: i am not 16
Phil : oh thank go-
Techno : I’m actually 15. Not sure how that’s any better?
Phil : wHAT
These headcanons are fucking brilliant I cant breathe-
This entire concept is gold
Imagine Phil sometimes still forgets Techno is 15 sometimes
Just
Techno : *voice crack*
Techno : ah. puberty. truly the bain of my existence.
Phil : puberty? What the f-
Phil : OH YEAH
Techno, with cuts on his face :
Phil : yikes- who tried to fight you this time?
Techno : I-
Techno, under his breath : …i tried to shave, Phil.
Phil, offering a glass of wine : rough day?
Techno : oh- no thanks.
Phil : oh you not a big wine person?
Techno :
Techno : philza minecraft i’m 15 years old.
“Philza Minecraft I am 15 years old”
I’m fucking deflating right now. Who gave you the right to be this funny??????
The funny has been bestowed upon me by god himself❤
God isnt real.
I know what you did.
Actually to make this even worsebetter, its fun to imagine techno telling all these stories from blitz, skywars, bedwars, etc. Only for post-reveal philza to realize all of that happened when techno was even younger than he is now
