#mildred x reader

Take me back to the night we met

“After taking different paths for almost a year, you and Mildred meet again at the supermarket and a set of feelings resurface.”

You’re walking through the corridors of the supermarket, searching for fruity baby food, making sure to read all the ingredients written on the labels, before making a choice. You have been pretty meticulous since your baby’s birth. Yes, a baby. Yours. It always makes you emotional when you think about it, your heart melts and your stomach drops, making you feel the luckiest woman on earth, when you look at her. Once you put everything in the chart, you lean over the crib and stretch out your arm to graze that blonde head with your thumb, so soft so delicate. The baby doesn’t flitch one bit so you linger extra seconds to stroke her cheek. You can’t help, but still feel incredulous to have given birth to a daughter. You were a mom now. A single, a young, inexperienced mom, yet you were one.

She had noticed you from afar. Her mouth slightly agape. Her heart going crazy at the sight of you. She lifts a hand to her chest, in the hope of quieting down her crazy heartbeat, but she fails at keeping her emotions at bay. You were beautiful, gorgeous, luminous. A year had passed but you looked exactly the same, slightly matured maybe, in a good way. Your loose hair, pushed behind your ears, revealed those precious features of yours. Those that not even for a moment, Mildred had forgotten. It had grown and was now slightly touching your mid back, ending with soft caramel curls.

She approaches closer, both slowly but firmly. Curiously as she had lost sight of you for quite some time now. She notices the crib, and a small smile creeps on her lips. She’s almost sure that’s a baby you’re babysitting, since your love for children was never a secret to her.

A part of her wants to talk to you, see how have you been, but did she really have the right to do so after pushing you away so insistently? Mildred knows her faults; she knows how badly she had pushed your buttons and not a day passed smoothly for her, since that sense of guilt never really left her. She shakes her head and a groan escapes from her mouth. “Fuck”, she mutters to herself, as she slides her fingertips through her hair. She needed to apologize, she wanted to make it up to you, but how? “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”, she leans on the shelf in front of her in order to collect some steady breaths.

She firmly closes her eyes for a moment, feeling them burning already. A single tear slips down her cheek, touching her upper lip. She madly wipes it with the back of her hand and takes another shaky breath. She can’t lie to herself, she had missed you. She regretted the choice to push you away, the exact moment she did so. The ache in her chest, the one that has never really left her, was coming back more painful, sharper even.

She lets her hands drop to the hips in a gesture of pure frustration, but while doing so a pack of pasta falls from the shelf. “Shit”, Mildred turns pale as she quickly grabs the item that has fallen on the floor to replace it in its spot.

Startled by the sudden noise, you lift your gaze to her direction. Once you recognize the figure standing in front of you, your mouth parts open to say something, but no word comes out. Those beautiful dark orbs you fell in love with months ago were there. You look so lost, your brows meet in a confused frown, partly scared too, and Mildred sees that. The woman lets out a soft whimper as the familiar feeling of warmth invades her low abdomen. Her heart feels like exploding and her throat tightens, making her feel like someone is trying to suffocate her. “Hi”, she mouths to you, her eyes glistering with tears.

You lightly shake your head and your fingers turn pale as they tighten around the stroller. Mildred notices the discomfort of your posture; the way your arms are shaking. All she wants is to wrap her arms around your smaller figure and suck away all the pain she had caused to you. Make it hers. You want to turn around and leave, but something stops you. Mildred sees the intention through your eyes that has never lied to her, so she approaches closer.

How dare she, after pushing you away, coming towards you like that?

“Y/n”, her voice comes to your ears so softly, you think you’ve just imagined it. And you hated to admit to yourself how much you had missed hearing it. How much you had missed her calling you by your name. Mildred swallows hard, as she keeps walking. Her eyes sparkle with emotion and her lip quivers, despite keeping it trapped among her teeth.

You divert your gaze from hers and tiredly shake your head, as to beg her not to hurt you all over again. You still loved her. You never stopped having feelings for her. But you couldn’t go through all that surrow anew. “What-”, your voice comes out as thin as melting ice. You feel on the verge of tears and Mildred hushes you softly. She reaches out to touch your arm so lightly, you barley feel it. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”, her voice is like velvet to your ears. And you feel like an angel just came down from the sky to lighten the weight on your shoulders. You could let yourself sink into that melody of hers. Something, though, stops you. It’s the same voice of hers, telling you she’s not like you. Screaming at you for making absurd assumptions about her sexuality. Throwing things at you for having assumed she would have wanted to kiss someone as abnormal as you.

“Miss Ratched, I-”, you keep your gaze to your daughter while you pronounce her name. Your voice comes out firm, but Mildred knows you enough to realize how hard it is for you to mask your pain. How hard it is for a person as deeply sensitive as you, to raise a wall around yourself and never let anybody in. “You shouldn’t be so close to me. People may get the wrong impression”, you say coldly.

Mildred’s lips curve upwards just a little. She knows you mean to hurt her, but she also knows that trying to hurt her, hurts you the most. You’re not like her, you’ve never been. She’s not offended by your words; actually a part of her had hoped you could take out everything you had kept inside all along. Because you never did anything. You were the quiet girl, and she was the storm. You were the light sky and she was the pitch black.

“I don’t care about what people may think”, she firmly admits, yet her voice is soft as a caress. She reaches out to cup your cheek, gently stroking it with her fingertips.

You scoff, unamused by her words. You pull away slightly. “Miss Ratched, we have nothing to discuss, so if you’ll excuse I have other matters to take care of”

Mildred promptly shakes her head. “Y/n, please. I know you’re mad at me. I know I did unspeakable things to you, and I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry, I was wrong-”, her voice cracks at the end of the sentence and you flutter your eyes closed as in a way to cope her pain. “I was wrong about all of it”, her soft, smooth hand reaches out to cup your cheek once again and at the contact, you let out a slight whimper. This time, you don’t pull away and she lets out a watery smile, as she had missed touching your skin so dearly. You start crying, as memories fill your head like a piece of rebar. So does she. You don’t understand how despite everything that has happened between the two of you, you can still feel so deeply connected to her. “It’s me”, she continues softly. “It’s Millie”, she says, hope in her tone. Her heart aches at the sight of your tormented soul. The nickname causes you to let out a low, watery chuckle, that makes the nurse’s heart fill up with joy. “Do you remember?”, she timidly asks while her eyes fill up with more tears, when you frown and nod wearily. She brushes a lock of your hair behind your ear, and you look up at her. Her heart sinks when she meets your gaze so closely.

“I searched for you, I couldn’t find you… Y/n, you have to believe me, I-”, Mildred stops to take a long shaky breath, as she cannot still believe you’re there. She feels the urge to touch you, and you see that by the way her fingers are trembling from the temptation to hold you close. A grimace appears on your lips, and you let out a sight before replying. “I only came back recently. I’m staying at my brother’s house”, you inform her, biting your lip nervousily.

Mildred seems relieved by the answer. Still she can’t put aside the thought that you didn’t exactly look like you were doing okay. She was determined to find out why. “I made a huge mistake back then, Y/n. And I-”, Mildred is interrupted once more when the baby in the crib starts making cute little noise, as to announce her presence. You sniffle a little and wet your lips before hushing the baby, gently stroking her chest with your palm, as she likes it. “It’s okay, bee. I’m here”, you say softly, offering the baby a small, yet sincere smile. The baby looks into yours eyes and reaches out to you, as to ask to be picked up. And you giggle softly, before muttering, “Alright, little princess”

Mildred’s heart melts with tenderness when she notices how you take the small child in your arms, being extra careful about placing her head on your chest. Once in your arms, Mildred see the precious baby gurgling away and she is tempted to approach, to give a better look at her, but she isn’t sure you want her to, so she bites her bottom lip, staying a couple of steps back from both of you.

Your gaze softens when you see her hesitation, and you mentally curse yourself, because you seem unable to deny something to her, especially something as simple as show her your baby. You turn around to the side, to reveal her features to her. A small smile creeps on your lips when you offer the baby your thumb that she immediately put in her mouth. That wasn’t neither the time nor the right place to breastfeed her.

“You’ve always been so natural with babies”, Mildred softly comments. You nod, placing a tender kiss on the top of the baby’s head. “What’s her name?”, she continues, bowing down a little bit to meet those big eyes and that surprisingly remind her of you.

“Diana”, you say with a tiny sparkle in your eyes. “She’s a real angel”, a gentle smile gazes your features and your head tilt to the side so that your cheek meets the baby’s head. It was quite hilarious how things had turned out for you.

“Is she your brother’s daughter?”, she casually questions you.

“Oh no, Mildred”, you divert your gaze from hers, when you see her frown a little. “Actually, I-”, you stammer, trying to contain the quiver in your voice.

“You?”, but she quickly pauses again, seeking to understand to whom the child could belong. “So you’re babysitting someone else’s baby?”, she chuckles nervously.

You shake your head firmly this time. “She’s mine. I gave birth three months ago”

The redhead’s mouth is slightly ajar at this point. She lets out a gasp of pure surprise, and her eyes water once again. You know though those aren’t exactly happy tears. “I’m happy for you, y/n”, she rasps out, her voice sounding even more insecure than before. And you notice that. “I really am”, she continues, after clearing her throat. You sigh softly, unable to find the right words to explain the way things actually were. “Your husband must be the luckiest man in the world”, she madly wipes her tears.

You promptly shake your head, laughing softly while doing so. That response confuses Mildred even more. “There’s no husband. And there is no father. It’s just me and her”, the baby girl is slowly dozing off as she keeps sucking your finger adorably.

Mildred doesn’t ask further questions, but you can tell by the look into her eyes that she is concerned about you. Maybe about the baby too. She gives you an emphatic smile, deciding to respect your silence for now. It’s not hard to figure that whatever hides behind the birth of Diana is nothing less than a big deal. “Listen, do… do you want to get a cup of tea?”, the nurse reaches out to stroke the baby’s head so gently, you feel yourself smiling. Her dark orbs are piercing right through your soul and you feel naked before her eyes.

You mouth parts open to speak, but you’re unsure of what to say.

Mildred’s hand slide over your wrist and her thumb strokes your skin in soothing circles. “Please”, she whispers gently. “Just a cup of tea”,

“Sure, Mildred”, you finally indulge, offering her a shy smile. Mildred’s eyes glimmer with emotions as she reaches out to gently stroke your hair, just like she used to. “Thank you”, she whispers.

You lock with her again and a little smirk crosses your lips while doing so. “I think it’s better to put the frozen food back though”, you say with a sigh. “I don’t want a pool in the hood of my car”

Mildred chuckles at that. “Let me help you”, she takes the initiative and pulls out the frozen food from the cart, but before placing it back in the freezer, she pauses to look at one of the pouches.

“I thought you hated beans?”, she comments,  arching a brow while doing so.

You nod and chuckle, since she is right. “So you remember”, you tease, amusement written all over your features. “Apparently my brother adores those”

A hint of pink colours the redhead’s cheeks. She had missed this side of you, the playful and joyful way more than she’d have liked to admit. “I remember everything”, she says, her voice comes out quieter than before, yet full of love.

You flatten your lips, before replying, “I do too, Mildred”, your voice comes out bitter and sad. You can’t remember the good times without bringing to light the bad ones.

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Possible part two? Anyone?