A/n: Disclaimer, I can’t write fluff to save my life (especially since it’s been a while since I last wrote somethin for a sarah character) but I tried my best since it is a birthday present Happy birthday mi amor @notmanagingmymischief (im sorry I couldn’t wait any longer, plus idk how the queue thing works ) I’m honestly so nervous for you to read this but I hope you like it The title says “you are worth everything and more, my love” and although I don’t really know if the title fits the story the best I still wanted to say it I wanted this to be personal to them so some of the descriptions are specific to their features but you can always still imagine that it’s you as y/n☃️ I think that’s all but I can’t remember rn so I hope you enjoy this fic✨
Word count: 2100+
TW: none
Translations(my French is rusty but I think these are all correct)
Je t’aime (can also be je t’adore)- I love you
Je t'aime ma douce fille- I love you my sweet girl
je t'aime plus que la lune n'aime les étoiles, ma chérie- I love you more than the moon loves the stars, my darling
A/N :This is the new series with Cordelia and Wilhemina (with reader). There’s a few out there that I have gone back and read a few of them to make sure mine and theirs aren’t the same. So, if somehow they are the same I apologise. That isn’t my intention at all.
If you haven’t read the Mystery woman series, the link for it are below.
You are teaching the younger students about a new spell, most of them are excited to know more and some were a little afraid. It was a simple spell but if done wrong can cause a little chaos, which you could deal with. Once you had set them on the task of reading the page and taking notes of the noteworthy things you had written on the chalkboard, you spaced out for the time being A little yawn passed though your mouth, with the late nights of being unable to sleep. Looking out of the window for the time being, you remember the time you were the one sitting in front of the teacher doing the exact spell.
A/N: Yep, another multi-part fic. Yep, no one asked me about this too. Yep, it’s still about Cordelia Goode x Reader. Yep, you can still ask or suggest stuff in the ask box.
This was the 6th time today that Cordelia tried to perform the re vera falsum - false reality. It shouldn’t be this hard especially now that she’s the Supreme. Somehow she can still find ways to fail and prove to her mother that she will never be as good as her.
re vera falsum is the careful alteration of reality, undetected by other witches. This must have been the last spell her mother used on the axeman before she sent him to his literal death. This is also the reason why she insists - obsessed - with learning how to do it.
She towered over Zoe, who willingly volunteered, and put all her intent into it. Her hands above the head of the seated witch, she began the incantation.
“re vera falsum,” her voice echoed in her head. She thought of a simple scenario where Zoe will think she ate hotdogs instead of cereals this morning.
She dropped her hand and asked Zoe, “What did you eat this morning?”
Please say hotdogs.
Say hotdogs.
Hotdogs.
“Cereals.”
Shit.
“Cordelia, you don’t have to try so much with this spell.” The young witch reassured her.
Make this the 7th time she failed today.
“I just think it would be valuable for the witches to learn this spell,” she reasoned. Zoe knew it was only one of the reasons her Supreme strive so hard but she’ll never voice it out.
“Okay,” Zoe paused to think for a while, “Well, I remember seeing in our records that there’s a witch in New York that specializes with this particular magic.”
Cordelia stiffened for a bit, trying to remember all of the witches who reside in the Big Apple. Someone who has the ability to alter reality without being as powerful as Fiona.
Y/n!
The charismatic witch who is often mistaken as Fiona’s daughter, due to her natural charm and self-confidence. The ambitious lady who walked out of the coven to achieve something bigger than casting spells and memorizing potion recipes. The frank, rational, and witty [y/n] who never called back nor gave a reason for leaving.
Cordelia excused Zoe, in order to think about her next course of action. It has been years since she last thought of you. She doesn’t even know why you left or why you suddenly stopped talking to her. One minute she was inviting you to her wedding then suddenly you were leaving the coven.
She sat in her office the whole day, trying really hard to get some work done but you keep entering her mind. The sly smiles you wear when you ace a spell the first try. The stolen glances she takes whenever you’re not looking. The aromatic whiff of your perfume that she can inhale whenever you’re close - too close. The kiss.
Oh, that kiss during New Year’s Midnight.
Cordelia can swear she died, flew to heaven, and came back during that time. What a way to start the new year? Instinctively, she bit her lip trying to remember the sensation of that encounter years ago. The way your lips fit or how she let out a moan ten seconds into the kiss. The more she thinks about it, the more hot and bothered she gets.
“Delia,” a voice took her out of her little trip down memory lane.
She composed herself and faced the voice, which turns out to be Zoe, standing by her office doorway.
“The girls are all settled in their rooms,” the witch continued. Cordelia thanked her, assuming that she’ll leave already. “Have you thought about the New York witch?”
“What?” the Supreme was caught off guard with the question. She was definitely thinking about the witch but not the way her council would imagine.
“Yeah. I think I’ll go see her,” she replied haphazardly. Did she even think about this?
Oh, she was thinking all right but definitely not that.
“Okay,” Zoe cheered. “Don’t worry. Queenie and I will handle the girls tomorrow.” She then bid her good night.
She didn’t say tomorrow, right? Suddenly, every part of Cordelia feels excited to meet an old lovfriend.
—
The bright sun rays shone through your office in the middle of a New York day. Honestly, your kind of day. You just closed a multi-million dollar shipment deal and you deserve to celebrate.
You were just going over some papers that need to be signed by the end of the day when you felt a sudden surge of familiar power. Familiar but stronger. You looked up to see a blonde, whom you’ve never seen for years. Vowed to never see is actually the phrase to be used here.
“Hi!” The intruder greeted.
“Did you transmute here all the way from New Orleans?” you threw a disappointed look her way. She bit her lip and meekly nodded. You thought that old habits must die hard. “That’s risky,” you simply replied then continued your paper checking.
She took several steps forward before speaking again, “I need your help, [y/n].”
“No,” was your immediate response without looking up.
“You haven’t heard what I was going to ask?”
You annoyingly looked up to see her staring at you, quite intensely. “Do I have to?” She gave you a smile so familiar that you knew it means ‘of course’. “The last time I helped someone from that coven, I almost died.”
You didn’t mean to treat her with animosity but the sudden intrusion and lack of boundaries really put a dent on your good day. This is Cordelia. Your friend. You almost killed someone for her once upon a time. You just can’t help but use a brash attitude to hide the old feelings that are trying to claw its way out.
“Fiona,” you heard the witch mutter. You hummed in agreement.
“Called me last year and said she needed a place to stay in the metro.” You began to tell the story when she sat down on the chair in front of your desk. “I offered her one of my condo units but she insisted that she wants to stay with me. So we had fun for three straight days,” your face now turning sour, “up until the last day where she tried to kill me moments before she left.”
“I’m sorry about that,” the breathtaking witch in front of your said.
“So, no.” You once again declined. “I won’t help you with whatever it is.”
“But you always say yes to Fiona,” she commented that felt more like an accusation.
“She’s the supreme.”
“I’m the supreme now,” her voice becoming higher.
“That’s different,” you replied, matching her voice. “You don’t have the same hold over me.”
“Then what does she have on you?” She stood, hoping to show dominance in the conversation.
Now, you’re really annoyed. If there’s one thing you don’t like, it’s being bossed around especially on your turf. “I’m not gonna tell you and it’s best for you to get out.” You stood up walked towards the door.
Suddenly, you heard the door locked and the glass panels darkened. The sun rays now replaced with the dim lights of the 4 lamps in your office corners. You stopped midway, ready to send her flying against the wall. Glass panels be damned.
“You are going to teach me re vera falsum and you’re going to do it now.” She firmly said. You audibly chuckled at the thought.
In your years of friendship at the academy, you were always the dominant one. She follows or agrees. She would speak her mind but later on admit that you were probably right. She’s straight even back then. Always knowing what’s black and white, while you prance around the grey area quite often. To see her today, after years of no contact, with absolute conviction and ready to fight her ground excited you a little bit.
You faced her again, this time with a smug grin on your face. You took your sweet time taking her in. The flowy dress that hugs her curves. The blonde hair that cascades past her shoulders, probably only blow-dried. Her hands are folded into fists. Her face clearly shocked by the sudden exhibition of her powers.
Cordelia is always well kept, thinking being prim and proper would get her mother’s approval. She spent most of your days together controlling her powers, not letting it get the best of her. Perhaps the only time she played outside her own rules was when she married that son of a bitch. Knowing how she hates being dismissed by her mother, you know the next words coming out of your mouth will piss her even more. A game that definitely excites you in more ways than one.
—
Cordelia demanded something. If it were any other witch in her academy, they would have given it to her already. This time, however, she can’t just get her way. It’s [y/n], after all. The only person who knows exactly how to push her buttons, and hopefully pop them off.
Delia, stop!
“You went through all that trouble just for a spell?” You said, breaking the silence. Cordelia swallowed hard. Hearing the voice you most often use with your lovers directed at her got her pressing her legs together. “It’s not a skill for every witch.” That seductive, low voice of yours take her 9 years back when she wouldlove herself to sleep with you in mind. It’s not helping that you have a predatory look on your face as you come closer.
“I’m not every witch,” she replied almost in a trance.
“No, you’re not.” You pin her against the desk. “Tell me, Delia,” your stare alternating between her eyes and lips, “what would happen if I say no again?”
It was a challenge. Cordelia knew that. At this point, she’s no longer present but rather lost in your perfume and the way you hover over her. She can feel your breath on her skin and was about to k-
*ring* *ring*
Your phone office rang, interrupting whatever it was that she was about to do. She shifted in her foot, trying to regain what’s left of her sanity. Cordelia came here for a reason yet somehow that reason is slowly going out of the window.
You reached for the phone without breaking eye contact with her and pressed the speaker button. “Miss [y/n], just reminding you of your 2:30,” your cheery assistant’s voice echoed through the room.
“Lily, cancel all my meetings for the rest of the day,” Cordelia remained transfixed on your face. “And make sure I’m not disturbed.” You didn’t give the other person a chance to respond as you end the call swiftly.
You returned your whole attention to the Supreme, who is not feeling so supreme right now. Pinned against your desk and allowing you to have this effect on her. A specific kind of heat coursing through her body.
“You were saying?” You teased, knowing full well that you saw how she almost lunged forward earlier. You licked your lips that caused Cordelia to gulp once again today. “It’s okay,” your voice returning to its normal range. “Turns out I have all day.”
I don’t write for Cordelia but I enjoy reading this gals work. Show her some love. I’m pumped up for this story already. ♥️
Mildred can hardly divert her gaze from your figure as both of you are seated at the coffee table, enjoying the early afternoon’s peace. The atmosphere is rather cozy and so is the interior of the cafeteria, made of finest wood. The stroll, close to your chair, is left empty as you’re holding the baby in your lap. An arm is secured around the child’s small body, while the other rests on the counter and plays with the handle of the cup of tea. You lean closer to the hot drink, blowing on it softly to cool it down.
Mildred looks at you with deep tenderness, but also admiration for the woman you’ve become. Unlike you, she can’t focus on her tea just yet. There are so many things, little details about you and Diana, that she can’t stop admiring. She can’t allow herself to miss another instant of you. You look radiant, yet she noticed the small dark circles under your eyes, sign of your sleepless nights.
She still can’t quite believe that you became mother. Yet she can’t help but feel proud of you. Proud of the person that got up on her feet, after being pushed down so many times. Proud of the little girl that became a woman in every sense of the word.
Despite the slight pain of knowing that someone else had the privilege to lie down with you, to sleep with you, Mildred was happy you could fulfil the dream to have your own child. And frankly, the role of mother suited you. She tried to imagine you carrying a baby. You had to be the most beautiful woman on earth. She’s have done anything to go back in time and see you with a baby bump.
“It’s amazing, isn’t it? You…”, Mildred clears her throat, as she speaks. She’s smiling, but her eyes are glistered with small tears. She’s indeed happy for you, but she can’t lie to herself and pretend to be indifferent to the fact that you slept with someone else.
You notice her distress and reach out to touch her wrist. She smiles fondly at you as you do that. She continues, “You have a daughter”, a small watery chuckle escapes from her mouth. Her eyes linger on the baby, who’s adorably sucking your thumb to keep herself busy. You frown, tempted to get up right there to wipe those tears away. “I can’t believe it”
“Oh trust me, sometimes, me neither”, an amused grin crosses your lips. You bow your head to place a soft kiss on the top of Diana’s and Mildred’s heart quickens at the sight before her eyes. She can’t help the fond smile that graces her features and the sudden tickle in her stomach that makes it difficult to hold up a neutral face.
“I’ve always wanted kids, but she wasn’t really planned, uhm… but you see…things happened and-”, you start rambling and a sense of sudden discomfort resurfaces at the memory of how things went for you some months ago.
Mildred hushes you gently, lightly shaking her head. “Hey, breathe. It’s alright”, she rubs your skin in soothing circles, smiling softly as she does so.
You take a shaky breath, before nodding quietly. Mildred was right to think you weren’t the same person than a year ago. You matured for sure, but the time and the experiences you went through didn’t make you stronger, nor happier, unlike what could seem.
You’re just good at pretending.
You try to apologize, since the last thing you want is to make a fool of yourself, but Mildred precedes you.
“It’s been a year since the last time I spoke to you, I wasn’t expecting you to be cloistered or anything of the sort”, she tries to sound playful, but you don’t feel like laughing.
“It’s not how it looks like, Mildred”, you say quietly, diverting your gaze from hers.
Mildred’s brow raises slightly at your words. “And how does it look like?”, her voice comes out thin, slightly fearful.
You rub your forehead, before speaking, “You think I fell into the arms of dozen of men during the past months, don’t you?”, a bitter chuckle escapes from your mouth.
The nurse’s eyes go wide and her face loses some of her natural colour. “No”, she promptly shakes her head. She lets go of her cup of tea, now long forgotten, and takes your hand in both of hers. “Absolutely not”, she continues both firmly and softly, and you look up at her. She raises your fingers to her lips. “I could never think such a thing of you”, she places a soft kiss on your knuckles and you let out a whimper.
“Mildred…”, your eyes flutter close for a moment. Butterflies flutter in your stomach driving you crazy.
The redhead’s thumb grazes over your fingers. Her warm breath tickles your skin softly.
“Still, I had a baby”, you point out. “You’re certainly trying to figure how it happened”, you rumble, cheeks turning in a bright hue of red.
“It’s none of my business, y/n”, her answer amazes you, and you scoff a little bit, withdrawing your hand from her grasp. “Right”, you mouth to her before moving the mug closer to your face.
Mildred closes her eyes for a moment and her lips purse in a grimace. She mentally curses herself for having said something so insensitive. She sighs and takes a sip of her tea as well, now too cold for her liking.
Diana starts whining when she can’t reach the mug, probably with the intention to dip her fingers inside.
It makes both you and Mildred giggle softly at her adorable attempt.
“Ah, ah, you can’t do that”, you say sweetly, pecking her cheek. You understand she’s probably hungry, when she keeps whining and making adorable little noises.
“Something the matter?”, Mildred asks, concern fills her voice as she eyes the baby.
You promptly shake your head. “She’s just hungry”, you take a quick look around the cafeteria, debating if it’s a good idea to do something about it right there and now. There aren’t many people anyway, since it’s still early, so you decide to give it a try. “Tell me if someone is watching”, you inform Mildred in a soft whisper. An amused grin crosses your lips, when you notice how her lips part in confusion. She doesn’t even have the time to ask you what you meant, that you start unbuttoning your turquoise shirt, that little enough for you to expose your breast. Mildred chuckles nervously and her cheeks flush rose hue. “Oh, that’s what you meant”, she takes another sip of her tea, trying to focus on something else than her rentless heartbeat. Meanwhile Diana understands what’s going on and turns in the direction of your exposed breast, mouth half open and wide eyes. You lead her movements, holding Diana in the most comfortable way possible for her. In a matter of seconds she relaxes and stop whining. Your eyes glimmer with emotion, when she starts drinking your milk.
“It’s incredible, isn’t it?”, you mutter, eyeing Mildred.
“It really is”, she nods promptly. “She’s so beautiful, y/n”, the way you stroke your baby’s cheek while you feed her unleashes a whirlwind of emotions that were waiting for you to come back into her life to resurface. “Both of you are”
You smile. “Thank you”
“Anyway, I don’t want you to think I’m judging you”, the redhead starts again, after a moment of silence. “I have no right to, not after-”
“Pushing me away. Yeah”, you continue for her, chuckling a little bit. Mildred lowers her head, feeling deeply ashamed. She bites her inner cheek, since she can’t deny the truth. You frown a little bit as she failed to notice the sarcasm in your tone. You weren’t mad at her. Not anymore at least. And you hoped she could see your state of mind by focusing a little more on your eyes. “Hey, it’s alright”, you tilt your head to the side, hoping she would lift hers in your direction.
Despite everything, you’re amazed to feel so at ease around her. You can tell she’s changed. She isn’t ashamed of you nor herself. Yet you wonder if she is still into women.
“I just don’t want you to think I became that kind of person”
“I don’t think that. I swear”, she is quick to reply. So quick the cup of tea tremble in her hands and you chuckle. Mildred takes a deep breathe, trying to compose herself. She shakes her head and can’t help the small grin that crosses her velvet lips. “What I’m trying to say is, I know you. You guard the heart of an angel inside of you”, she mutters softly and it’s your turn to blush profoundly at her words.
“A fallen angel, maybe”, you playfully roll your eyes.
“Hey, no. Don’t say that”, Mildred tries to sound annoyed, but the sparkle in her eyes betrays her. She could never resist your childish ways, and she is so delight that those haven’t changed one bit. She gives you the look, the one that doesn’t allow more objections and you bite your bottom lip, trying to suppress another fit of giggles. “You should stop thinking so little of yourself”
You shrug. “Old habits die hard”, you remark.
Mildred clicks her tongue. Her lips curve upwards right after. “You’re just the same stubborn girl you always were”
“Guilty, ma'am!”, your playful tone makes her hope, that maybe, just maybe, you two can start over.
“I don’t know if you want to hear this, but I truly missed you”, Mildred hands you a handkerchief once you finish feeding your baby, so that you can wipe the area. “Talking to you… it feels like home”, you smile at her sweet words, but as you wipe Diana’s mouth carefully you fail to notice how for a matter of seconds, Mildred’s gaze drops on your ample bosom.
“I was never able to forget you either”, you continue, lifting your gaze. You grin, when you notice how flushed Mildred’s cheeks are.
“Did you hate me during this time?”, she asks timidly. “Do you… still hate me?”
You scoff a little bit, genuinely surprised she might think something of the sort. “Hate you?”, you shake your head and reach out to grab her hand. “No, Mildred. I was mad at you, disappointed in you, but I could never hate you”
She whispers, “Was?”
You nod quietly. “I’d lie if I said it wasn’t a shock meeting you again at the supermarket earlier. Lots of memories resurfaced. But all in all, the good memories stand out the most”
“Is that a way to tell me you missed me too?”
“Don’t push your luck, Ratched”, you teasingly add, rolling your eyes.
A content grin crosses Mildred’s lips. Her hands clutch at your blouse and her fingers start playing with the buttons. “I wouldn’t dare”, her voice comes out playful.
You lightly shake your head, giggling at her tone. You two fall in a moment of silence, basking each other beauty. “I did, though”, you admit after, your voice quieter than you intended it to be.
And she frowns. “Come again?”
Your eyes flutter close for a moment. “I missed you. I never stopped thinking about you”, at this time, you start weeping softly. A sharp pain fills your chest and you find it hard to breathe properly. “I wish I did”, you chuckle, unamused.
Mildred gets up from the chair and approaches you. She kneels before you and reaches out to stroke your cheek, before cupping your face in her hands. “Hey, shush, I know. I’m sorry”, she keeps repeating, in the hope to calm you down. “So sorry”, tears begin to fall as she speak.
You divert your gaze from her, madly wiping under your eyes. “I wished that a part of me was strong enough to let you go, but I was never able to do so”, at this point you let out a short chuckle, and Mildred’s lips crack in a fond smile.
She slides her fingertips through your hair. “Me neither, sweet thing”, she takes a quick glance to Diana, noticing how her curious big brown eyes are staring at her, feeling her heart burst with love. “I’m so sorry for pushing you away. My intention wasn’t to hurt you. I loved you so much, too much”, she bites her bottom lip, and your eyes open wide. “I still do”
“Oh, Millie…”, you gasp, your voice thick with tears. “For real?”
She nods promptly, before asking, “You called me Millie?”, she tenderly brushes your knee.
You hum, a fond smile gracing your lips while doing so. “You’ll always be Millie to me”, you admit, your words hold a deeper meaning, that the woman in front of you is ready to catch.
Her gaze lowers to your lips and you see her swallow thickly. Your heart races in your chest, when her nose grazes yours. You try to say something, fearing her reaction if people inside the cafeteria had seen you. “Let them see”, she hushes you gently, her eyes still glistered with tears, but she doesn’t look scared anymore.
“I love you, y/n”, she gently leans in for a kiss. It’s chaste, yet so needy. Her hands run over your waist and hips, making you shiver.
You moan quietly in her mouth as she keeps touching you. “I love you too, Millie”
You feel the tip of her tongue pushing against your upper lip, in the timid request to be let in. And you do. A bright smile crosses your features as you do. Your skin heats up, but then you remember where you are and how your daughter is kept hostage between you too, so you slightly pull away. “Let’s get out of here”, you suggest, breathlessly.
She chuckles. “Come home with me. Both of you”, she pecks the baby’s cheek, before getting up.
“What do you say, Diana?”, you tease, and Mildred scoffs playfully at you. “Shall we go?”
Her dark orbs stay locked to yours and you find yourself unable to divert your gaze. You lightly shake your head and wet your lips. She reaches out to hold your hand to help you up and you take it.
“So? What have you decided, you two?”, she grins “Are you coming?”
You nod quietly. The baby squeals when you move closer to Mildred once more, hovering your lips over hers. “We are coming”
“After taking different paths for almost a year, you and Mildred meet again at the supermarket and a set of feelings resurface.”
You’re walking through the corridors of the supermarket, searching for fruity baby food, making sure to read all the ingredients written on the labels, before making a choice. You have been pretty meticulous since your baby’s birth. Yes, a baby. Yours. It always makes you emotional when you think about it, your heart melts and your stomach drops, making you feel the luckiest woman on earth, when you look at her. Once you put everything in the chart, you lean over the crib and stretch out your arm to graze that blonde head with your thumb, so soft so delicate. The baby doesn’t flitch one bit so you linger extra seconds to stroke her cheek. You can’t help, but still feel incredulous to have given birth to a daughter. You were a mom now. A single, a young, inexperienced mom, yet you were one.
She had noticed you from afar. Her mouth slightly agape. Her heart going crazy at the sight of you. She lifts a hand to her chest, in the hope of quieting down her crazy heartbeat, but she fails at keeping her emotions at bay. You were beautiful, gorgeous, luminous. A year had passed but you looked exactly the same, slightly matured maybe, in a good way. Your loose hair, pushed behind your ears, revealed those precious features of yours. Those that not even for a moment, Mildred had forgotten. It had grown and was now slightly touching your mid back, ending with soft caramel curls.
She approaches closer, both slowly but firmly. Curiously as she had lost sight of you for quite some time now. She notices the crib, and a small smile creeps on her lips. She’s almost sure that’s a baby you’re babysitting, since your love for children was never a secret to her.
A part of her wants to talk to you, see how have you been, but did she really have the right to do so after pushing you away so insistently? Mildred knows her faults; she knows how badly she had pushed your buttons and not a day passed smoothly for her, since that sense of guilt never really left her. She shakes her head and a groan escapes from her mouth. “Fuck”, she mutters to herself, as she slides her fingertips through her hair. She needed to apologize, she wanted to make it up to you, but how? “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”, she leans on the shelf in front of her in order to collect some steady breaths.
She firmly closes her eyes for a moment, feeling them burning already. A single tear slips down her cheek, touching her upper lip. She madly wipes it with the back of her hand and takes another shaky breath. She can’t lie to herself, she had missed you. She regretted the choice to push you away, the exact moment she did so. The ache in her chest, the one that has never really left her, was coming back more painful, sharper even.
She lets her hands drop to the hips in a gesture of pure frustration, but while doing so a pack of pasta falls from the shelf. “Shit”, Mildred turns pale as she quickly grabs the item that has fallen on the floor to replace it in its spot.
Startled by the sudden noise, you lift your gaze to her direction. Once you recognize the figure standing in front of you, your mouth parts open to say something, but no word comes out. Those beautiful dark orbs you fell in love with months ago were there. You look so lost, your brows meet in a confused frown, partly scared too, and Mildred sees that. The woman lets out a soft whimper as the familiar feeling of warmth invades her low abdomen. Her heart feels like exploding and her throat tightens, making her feel like someone is trying to suffocate her. “Hi”, she mouths to you, her eyes glistering with tears.
You lightly shake your head and your fingers turn pale as they tighten around the stroller. Mildred notices the discomfort of your posture; the way your arms are shaking. All she wants is to wrap her arms around your smaller figure and suck away all the pain she had caused to you. Make it hers. You want to turn around and leave, but something stops you. Mildred sees the intention through your eyes that has never lied to her, so she approaches closer.
How dare she, after pushing you away, coming towards you like that?
“Y/n”, her voice comes to your ears so softly, you think you’ve just imagined it. And you hated to admit to yourself how much you had missed hearing it. How much you had missed her calling you by your name. Mildred swallows hard, as she keeps walking. Her eyes sparkle with emotion and her lip quivers, despite keeping it trapped among her teeth.
You divert your gaze from hers and tiredly shake your head, as to beg her not to hurt you all over again. You still loved her. You never stopped having feelings for her. But you couldn’t go through all that surrow anew. “What-”, your voice comes out as thin as melting ice. You feel on the verge of tears and Mildred hushes you softly. She reaches out to touch your arm so lightly, you barley feel it. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”, her voice is like velvet to your ears. And you feel like an angel just came down from the sky to lighten the weight on your shoulders. You could let yourself sink into that melody of hers. Something, though, stops you. It’s the same voice of hers, telling you she’s not like you. Screaming at you for making absurd assumptions about her sexuality. Throwing things at you for having assumed she would have wanted to kiss someone as abnormal as you.
“Miss Ratched, I-”, you keep your gaze to your daughter while you pronounce her name. Your voice comes out firm, but Mildred knows you enough to realize how hard it is for you to mask your pain. How hard it is for a person as deeply sensitive as you, to raise a wall around yourself and never let anybody in. “You shouldn’t be so close to me. People may get the wrong impression”, you say coldly.
Mildred’s lips curve upwards just a little. She knows you mean to hurt her, but she also knows that trying to hurt her, hurts you the most. You’re not like her, you’ve never been. She’s not offended by your words; actually a part of her had hoped you could take out everything you had kept inside all along. Because you never did anything. You were the quiet girl, and she was the storm. You were the light sky and she was the pitch black.
“I don’t care about what people may think”, she firmly admits, yet her voice is soft as a caress. She reaches out to cup your cheek, gently stroking it with her fingertips.
You scoff, unamused by her words. You pull away slightly. “Miss Ratched, we have nothing to discuss, so if you’ll excuse I have other matters to take care of”
Mildred promptly shakes her head. “Y/n, please. I know you’re mad at me. I know I did unspeakable things to you, and I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry, I was wrong-”, her voice cracks at the end of the sentence and you flutter your eyes closed as in a way to cope her pain. “I was wrong about all of it”, her soft, smooth hand reaches out to cup your cheek once again and at the contact, you let out a slight whimper. This time, you don’t pull away and she lets out a watery smile, as she had missed touching your skin so dearly. You start crying, as memories fill your head like a piece of rebar. So does she. You don’t understand how despite everything that has happened between the two of you, you can still feel so deeply connected to her. “It’s me”, she continues softly. “It’s Millie”, she says, hope in her tone. Her heart aches at the sight of your tormented soul. The nickname causes you to let out a low, watery chuckle, that makes the nurse’s heart fill up with joy. “Do you remember?”, she timidly asks while her eyes fill up with more tears, when you frown and nod wearily. She brushes a lock of your hair behind your ear, and you look up at her. Her heart sinks when she meets your gaze so closely.
“I searched for you, I couldn’t find you… Y/n, you have to believe me, I-”, Mildred stops to take a long shaky breath, as she cannot still believe you’re there. She feels the urge to touch you, and you see that by the way her fingers are trembling from the temptation to hold you close. A grimace appears on your lips, and you let out a sight before replying. “I only came back recently. I’m staying at my brother’s house”, you inform her, biting your lip nervousily.
Mildred seems relieved by the answer. Still she can’t put aside the thought that you didn’t exactly look like you were doing okay. She was determined to find out why. “I made a huge mistake back then, Y/n. And I-”, Mildred is interrupted once more when the baby in the crib starts making cute little noise, as to announce her presence. You sniffle a little and wet your lips before hushing the baby, gently stroking her chest with your palm, as she likes it. “It’s okay, bee. I’m here”, you say softly, offering the baby a small, yet sincere smile. The baby looks into yours eyes and reaches out to you, as to ask to be picked up. And you giggle softly, before muttering, “Alright, little princess”
Mildred’s heart melts with tenderness when she notices how you take the small child in your arms, being extra careful about placing her head on your chest. Once in your arms, Mildred see the precious baby gurgling away and she is tempted to approach, to give a better look at her, but she isn’t sure you want her to, so she bites her bottom lip, staying a couple of steps back from both of you.
Your gaze softens when you see her hesitation, and you mentally curse yourself, because you seem unable to deny something to her, especially something as simple as show her your baby. You turn around to the side, to reveal her features to her. A small smile creeps on your lips when you offer the baby your thumb that she immediately put in her mouth. That wasn’t neither the time nor the right place to breastfeed her.
“You’ve always been so natural with babies”, Mildred softly comments. You nod, placing a tender kiss on the top of the baby’s head. “What’s her name?”, she continues, bowing down a little bit to meet those big eyes and that surprisingly remind her of you.
“Diana”, you say with a tiny sparkle in your eyes. “She’s a real angel”, a gentle smile gazes your features and your head tilt to the side so that your cheek meets the baby’s head. It was quite hilarious how things had turned out for you.
“Is she your brother’s daughter?”, she casually questions you.
“Oh no, Mildred”, you divert your gaze from hers, when you see her frown a little. “Actually, I-”, you stammer, trying to contain the quiver in your voice.
“You?”, but she quickly pauses again, seeking to understand to whom the child could belong. “So you’re babysitting someone else’s baby?”, she chuckles nervously.
You shake your head firmly this time. “She’s mine. I gave birth three months ago”
The redhead’s mouth is slightly ajar at this point. She lets out a gasp of pure surprise, and her eyes water once again. You know though those aren’t exactly happy tears. “I’m happy for you, y/n”, she rasps out, her voice sounding even more insecure than before. And you notice that. “I really am”, she continues, after clearing her throat. You sigh softly, unable to find the right words to explain the way things actually were. “Your husband must be the luckiest man in the world”, she madly wipes her tears.
You promptly shake your head, laughing softly while doing so. That response confuses Mildred even more. “There’s no husband. And there is no father. It’s just me and her”, the baby girl is slowly dozing off as she keeps sucking your finger adorably.
Mildred doesn’t ask further questions, but you can tell by the look into her eyes that she is concerned about you. Maybe about the baby too. She gives you an emphatic smile, deciding to respect your silence for now. It’s not hard to figure that whatever hides behind the birth of Diana is nothing less than a big deal. “Listen, do… do you want to get a cup of tea?”, the nurse reaches out to stroke the baby’s head so gently, you feel yourself smiling. Her dark orbs are piercing right through your soul and you feel naked before her eyes.
You mouth parts open to speak, but you’re unsure of what to say.
Mildred’s hand slide over your wrist and her thumb strokes your skin in soothing circles. “Please”, she whispers gently. “Just a cup of tea”,
“Sure, Mildred”, you finally indulge, offering her a shy smile. Mildred’s eyes glimmer with emotions as she reaches out to gently stroke your hair, just like she used to. “Thank you”, she whispers.
You lock with her again and a little smirk crosses your lips while doing so. “I think it’s better to put the frozen food back though”, you say with a sigh. “I don’t want a pool in the hood of my car”
Mildred chuckles at that. “Let me help you”, she takes the initiative and pulls out the frozen food from the cart, but before placing it back in the freezer, she pauses to look at one of the pouches.
“I thought you hated beans?”, she comments, arching a brow while doing so.
You nod and chuckle, since she is right. “So you remember”, you tease, amusement written all over your features. “Apparently my brother adores those”
A hint of pink colours the redhead’s cheeks. She had missed this side of you, the playful and joyful way more than she’d have liked to admit. “I remember everything”, she says, her voice comes out quieter than before, yet full of love.
You flatten your lips, before replying, “I do too, Mildred”, your voice comes out bitter and sad. You can’t remember the good times without bringing to light the bad ones.
“The title says it all. Just a fluffy moment with you, your daughter and Sally.”
Sally’s dark lips cracked in a soft smile at the sight of your daughter sitting on a stool in the hotel lobby, rather focused on doodling on a piece of paper. She softly shook her head and bit her inner cheek at the unusal warmth that the sole view of your daughter was able to ignite. Sally would have never believed to grow fond of a young little girl the way she did, but your Annabeth was the exception. Maybe it was the fact that the girl had never been afraid of her, far from it. To her surprise, it was Annabeth that approached her, introducing herself and cutely complimenting Sally’s frizzy hair, making her genuinely laugh at the little shrimp.
Annabeth was a miniature version of you, and Sally absolutely adored that; it made you smile from ear to ear every time she pointed it out to you. She was your pride, the reason you never gave up. The young girl had your delicate features, light skin, your nose, your lips, same adorable rosy cheeks though a little chubbier due to the young age, and even the eyes had your shape, although a different color: emerald orbs as the man that left the both of you at the mercy of the world, too scared to take his own responsibility as man, but most of all as father. Annabeth never met him, and both you and Sally were glad he was out of your lives. And you were good enough to your daughter, to never make her question why she didn’t have a daddy like the other kids. You had always made sure Annabeth was happy, since the first day she was born. You took care of her, relying on yourself only, until one day Sally came in the picture and you never let go of her, and neither did she. The Cortez was now your home. A safe place for both you and your daughter.
Sally approached closer to the child to take a peek. She tried not to make any sound, in order not to disturb her. Annabeth was so focused on her drawing that she was casually tapping her upper lip with the tip of her tongue, while her forehead was adorably furrowed. Sally’s dark orbs went wide when she succeeded in peering at the figures doodled on that piece of paper. Her mouth parted open to speak, but no sound came out. Just a chocked sob that she promptly suppressed behind her palm. A single tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. She felt an emotional mess. Content as she’s never been before meeting you and your sweet angel. The drawing was beautiful, a little messy since Annabeth was only five years old, but perfect in its own imperfection. The girl had drawn the three of you together, she was in the middle, holding Sally’s hand from one side and yours on the other. The sky above was covered with tiny colorful hearts and from afar she could locate the Cortez, so small as if they finally managed to leave it behind together. Sally sniffled sadly at the hidden meaning behind the drawing. Maybe Annabeth’s wish was to leave that place with both you and her. “Oh sweet thing…”, she muttered to herself.
Annabeth hadn’t yet noticed her presence behind her back, way too focused on coloring Sally’s frizzy hair, using both orange and brown crayons. Sally knelt down before the child and tenderly slid her fingertips through her long chocolate hair to announce her presence.
“Hey, pretty girl”, she greeted, offering her a palyful grin. “May I join you?”, she continued, with a wink.
When Annabeth turned around, her eyes glimmered with happiness. “Sally!”, she squealed and then let go of the crayons. Those rolled down the desk, but neither of them seemed bothered. From afar, Liz’s watching the two interacting together with a heartfelt smile over her face. “You two better collect those crayons before someone gets hurt”, she warned both firmly and softly and Annabeth covers her mouth to hide a fit of giggles.
“Ops”, said Annabeth in a quiet voice, looking down at the pencils spread all over the floor.
Sally rolled her eyes and protectively wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist, gently rubbing her back in soothing circles. It was so ironic how only few years ago that place was a deadly trap for everyone who dared to step inside to book a room. Most of the time, nobody came out alive, and now Liz was worried for a bunch of pencils that whose worst damage they could do was making someone slip on their butt.
“Liz is such a spoilsport, isn’t she?”, Sally whispered to the girl, grazing the tip of her little nose with hers.
“She’s nice”, Annabeth quickly admits with a smile. “She lets me use my crayons here and she always brings me apple juice, if I’m thirsty”
Sally carefully patted the girl’s head, chuckling softly. “It’s only fair. This is your home”, she said, her voice cracked a little bit due to her sudden emotional state. Years ago, Sally didn’t know what kind of life she could look forward to, but surely the idea of starting a family never really crossed her mind. And it was ironic how she found one, after years of torment. She loved to think that she was part of one, yours and Annabeth’s, even though as a ghost. She had to die, in order to live.
Annabeth pulled away just a little, before pointing at the paper over the desk. In that matter of seconds, Sally had the time to quickly wipe the tears under her eyes.
“Look at what I did!”, with a toothy smile, she points at Sally’s doodle. “This is you!”
Sally arches a brow and her mouth parted open in an expression of pleasant shock. “Oh, let me see”, as she picked up the paper to better examine all the details, Annabeth nervously bit her bottom lip, playing with her tiny fingers while doing so. “The hard part was coloring your hair. It goes in every direction!”, she said, chuckling. “Do you even brush it? Mom says it’s important to brush your hair”, she kept rumbling and rumbling, as Sally secretly loved.
“Excuse me?”, she faked a offended expression that was soon betrayed by the sparkle in her dark orbs. “I thought you liked my hair. And yes, your mom takes care of my hair”, she pointed out.
Annabeth slid her tiny, chubby hands in Sally’s hair and immediately feels a tickle over her palms. “I do! I do love it!”, she squealed, tilting her head to the side. It was so pretty and different. It was savage, powerful, yet so beautiful. “You’ve tiny curls”
The ghost woman, still on her knees, took a moment to glance at the sweet profile of your daughter. She couldn’t resist the temptation to reach out to touch her rosy cheek with her thumb, so warm, so alive. She was amazed every time she thought she used to be as innocent as the sweet Annabeth.
“It reminds me of cotton candy!”, the girl admitted dreamily. “I wish I had your hair!”
“Oh silly you”, with a chuckle, Sally shook her head, before taking the little girl in her arms one more time. She brushed her lips on the girl’s cheek, softly inhaling that sweet scent of vanilla that reminded her of you. After all it wasn’t a rare occasion that Annabeth sneaked into your shared room to sleep with the two of you. Especially after a nightmare. Sally didn’t mind that. She loved feeling important to someone else: the idea of someone directly asking for her filled her heart with so much joy, she didn’t think she could feel. She learned Annabeth’s routine rather well by now, so every night, for a couple of hours, the kid slept peacefully between the two. You stroked Annabeth’s hair, humming a soft lullaby that Sally listened intently, with loving and glossy eyes, while she held your little girl’s hand, gently stroking her palm with her thumb, since it helped her relax.
“You have wonderful hair too, ‘Beth”, she muttered in her ear, making the little girl giggle at the soft contact. “Just like your mama”, she added.
“I like my hair”, she quickly admitted. “But I love yours best”
Sally playfully arched a brow. “Better”, she corrected her, before gently poking the tip of the child’s nose. Annabeth let out a snort, not really liking when someone pointed out her mistakes. “Better…”, she rumbled with an eye roll, making Sally smile more.
That was another thing Annabeth had in common with you. Your stubbornness was mirrored in your baby girl and Sally could see it clearer every day a little more.
“Have you showed your drawing to your mom, yet?”, Sally decided to drop the previous topic.
She shook her head no. “She was busy on the phone”, she shrugged and Sally frowned at her words, taking a quick look upstairs as in the hope to see you coming down the stairs, but there was no sign of you yet.
As if she had perceived her concern, Annabeth stepped in to reassure the woman in front of her. Annabeth was a very clever girl, to be only five. She could easily understand Sally’s state of mind. She was used to her ups and downs, her silent cries, her weak smiles, and she was able to distinguish the meaningful ones from the fake ones. You had thought her how to treat Sally, to always be supportive and gentle, to always make her feel loved and important, to never lie to her, and also to keep an eye on her, but Sally didn’t know about the latter.
Sally’s lips cracked in another small smile, when Annabeth took her hand in hers, absently humming and playing with her fingernails. “Do you think I can paint my nails like yours?”, she questioned, making puppy eyes.
“Oh”, Sally’s taken aback by that request. That dark purple on her fingertips wasn’t exactly the best color for a young kid, so she took a moment to think of a good answer. “We should ask your mom first, don’t you think?”, she ruffled her hair.
The kid pulled away, snorting a little bit. “She’d agree with me”, she’s ready to add, rather confident of her words. “I’m a big girl now”
“Are you now?”, Sally’s brow quirked and an amused grin crossed her dark, plump lips. “You’ll always be my little shrimp”, she wriggled her fingertips over the girl tummy, offering her light tickles in order to hear her laughter. In a matter of seconds, Annabeth ended up on the floor, squealing and squirming, but enjoying every second of it.
You and Sally were used to have tickle fights together, in every moment of the day. Before the bed time story, or in the morning to force both you and your daughter out of bed. It was Annabeth’s favorite game, along with hide and seek and catch. Sally couldn’t help but think how much joy you had bought into her existence. Being forced into an eternal prison wasn’t so bad anymore, on the contrary. It never looked so good.
Annabeth’s laughter grew louder and it reached your ears from upstairs, as you finally ended the call with one of your clients. You let out a relieved sigh, placing your phone back in your back pocket of your jeans. And a wave of happiness warmed up your entire body, coming down the stairs as quickly as you can.
Sally was playfully poking your daughter’s belly and hips and she was laughing so freely. Your heart melted like snow in the sun. You took a rapid glance at Liz, who’s softly smiling at you from the bar. A single tear rolled down your cheek, and you let it run along your neck, until it crashed on the floor. You leaned against the wall behind you, arms folded on your chest and an adoring smile gracing your features. Tired, but happy. You had to leave for work for a few days that weekend, despite hating to have to do so more than ever. You were debating on letting Annabeth stay with Sally this time though, if both of them were up to it of course. But something told you that Annabeth would have been hyped to the idea. Sally was the funny parent after all. You liked to think of her as a second mom to your daughter. She was hilarious, yet responsible and so very protective in her regards, as in yours. She was a fierce lioness, yet as gentle as a rose petal. And you trusted her with your life. All the fears you have always had concerning raising a child alone disappeared when Sally was with you. She never dared to leave your side. Never let you down. Never made you cry. A part of you thought she existed to lighten the burden on your heart, but she did even better than that, she freed you from it. There was no weight on your chest anymore.
You wiped under your eyes, before approaching the two. “Hey, my loves”, you mused and Sally immediately stopped her movements as a wave of warmth, the same you had felt from upstairs, rushed over her.
“Mommy!”, the girl squealed and quickly got up to hug your legs. You looked down at your daughter, gently placing your hand on the top of her head to stroke her hair as she liked it. Then you looked up at Sally that’s now standing in front of you with a contagious grin over her lips. She cupped your cheek and you leaned to the touch, sinking into her affection, that you seemed to be constantly craving, more that you’d have liked to admit out loud. “Hey, little one”, she greeted you, in a loving whisper. “I’ve missed you”
Your eyes flutter close for a moment and in a matter of seconds Sally lips are grazing yours in a sweet kiss. The cuddle you were giving to your daughter eventually stopped and your hands reached the woman’s waist. Annabeth peeked at the two of you making out right in front of her and she made a face. “Mom, you have Sally’s lipstick all over your face!”, she pointed out, making both you and Sally laugh in each other’s mouths. Sally’s hands slid through your hair, and you immediately felt her fingertips rub your scalp. You tried really had not to moan in appreciation. “I see Annabeth kept you company”
Sally hummed contently as you gently stroked her damp cheekbones.
“She’s my sidekick”, the frizzy haired woman teased, reaching out to the child to pull her close to her side, and squeezing her into a tight hug. The girl chuckled and squirmed to pull away. You playfully lean forward to nibble her bottom lip.
“Oh, is she now?”, you softly whisper in her mouth. “Should I be jealous?”
Sally’s hands wandered under your shirt, taking a firm grasp over your sensitive hips. “I love when you are, actually”
“Mom I drawed the three of us!”, Annabeth stepped in, proudly lifting the papers between the two of you.
“Drew baby”, you correct her both softly and firmly. Meanwhile your eyes diverted from Sally to the paper, in awe. “It’s beautiful, my love”, you got down on your knees, gently wrapping your arm around your daughter’s shoulders, only to pull her closer and peck her rosy cheek.
“But,mommy!”, Annabeth rolled her emerald eyes at you. “Stop correcting me all the time. It’s not nice”, she pouted a little.
Your heart melted at the sight before your eyes and as a consequence a fond smile formed on your lips. “I’m just trying to teach you things”, you said softly. “Isn’t it what Miss Caroline does at school too?”
The girl thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, she always gives me stickers, when I do something right”
“See?”, your gaze drifted behind your shoulder where Sally was silently admiring both of you interacting together, arms folded on her chest and a slight grin on her face.
“Since you don’t have stickers…”, the girl mumbled, rubbing her foot on the carpet. “Can I paint my nails purple like Sally?”, she questioned innocently.
You arched both of your brows to that. Amusement written all over Sally’s features along with a slight amazement caused by that little manipulative mind of hers.
“Oh is that so, huh? Sally, your fingertips are all over this, right?”
“I don’t know what she is talking about”, she answered with a shrug.
You sighed, getting on your feet. “I guess some nail polish never hurt anyone, right?”, you said, looking into Sally’s eyes as if to meet her approval. She nodded and approached closer to you, only to take a hold on your chin. It was impossible to resist the temptation to capture your mouth in hers, when you were around. Sally’s orbs darkened even more and you understood she was dying to kiss you. A heavy lump formed in her throat, but you could tell she was restraining herself for the sake of Annabeth. It made you chuckle a little. So you preceded her. You laced your fingers with her and leaned down to graze her lips in a long, heated kiss. Sally let out a watery chuckle, pulling your bottom lip a little before sucking it in her mouth.
Annabeth covered her face with both her palms and rapidly turned around as boh of you taught her to do in these situations. “Ew, you’re doing it again!”
You slowly pulled away as a hue of pink rushed to your cheekbones.
Sally groaned loudly, already missing the contact. She licked her lips, havig a taste of you. Then her attention shifted from you to the kid. “Go grab my nail polish in our room, little brat”, she playfully patted her butt, making her giggle.
“Sally!”, she squealed.
She stuck her tongue out at her. “Hurry up before I change my mind”, she teased. Both of you watched as the young girl raced towards the stairs, stepping on them as quickly as possible.
“Annabeth, don’t run up the stairs, you’ll trip!”, you warned outloud.
The girl slowed down right away. But it didn’t go unnoticed the little puff of annoyance that escaped from her mouth, as if she had listened to that exact sentence so many times already, which it was true.
“She’s such a good kid”, Sally softly commented.
You lifted your chin to look at her absent face. With a feather touch, you grazed her smooth skin of her cheekbone, smiling softly while doing so. Sally soaked in the affection, humming softly and tealking her head to the side, towards you.
“She loves you. She wants to be like you, when she grows up”, you quietly admitted, your tone soft and emotional at the same time.
Sally’s brows arched at that, soon followed by a low, amused chuckle. “I hope you can get this crazy idea out of her head”, she muttered, shaking her head a little. “She is too good to be like me”
“Sally baby, you’re good”, you cupped her cheeks and kissed her jawline with deep affection. “You’ve a wonderful heart. It’s so full of love”, your fingers wiped away those little tears that were already threatening Sally’s eyes to escape and roll down like a wild cascade.
“That’s because you showed me the way”, she sniffled.
“Perhaps we helped you”, you nodded quietly, despite not fully agreeing with her. “But you already were a better person, before we met. A loving, needy, beautiful frizzy hair woman whose only wish was to love and be loved”
“Don’t be so mushy, kitten”, Sally playfully rolled her eyes at your statement. She reached for you hand to give you a squeeze and you laced your fingers together right after.
You bit the inside of your cheek at the pet name to keep the forming smirk at bay.
“But you love it”, you added in a sing song voice.
“And you know so well what I love, huh?”, she moved the other hand to your face and her thumb gently toyed with your bottom lip, plump and colored with a hint of her lipstick. “I have quite an appetite for that pretty cherry chapstick of yours”
Her sole voice was a turn on for you, but her teasings had the power to drive you crazy. You held her palm agaist your cheek. “It could use some attention, actually. But tonight”, you pointed out, making her frown. “I’m afraid you already have plans for the afternoon with a certain someone up there”, you pulled away just a little, biting your bottom lip the way she liked it.
She chuckled lightly and grabbed you by your wrist. Her gaze drifted to the young girl coming down the stairs as quickly as before. A glimmer of excitement was evident in her emerald orbs as she was holding the nailpolish in her tiny, chubby hands,
“Annabeth, how many times do I have to tell you not to-!”
The kid cut you off with a snort. “-run down the stairs, I know”, she continued, slowing down her pace.
Sally’s fingertips found your soft, long hair, gently stroking it and untangling it. “She’s indeed a good girl”, she admitted, and you smiled softly at her before pecking her cheek.
“You no longer feel worthy to be part of Mina’s life, after an unfortunate accident. So you push her away, but will it work?”
Tears of anger are streaming down your face without any control. You feel as your eyes have been clawed out. You’re shaking and sweating, breathing is all of the sudden so hard, you feel like fainting in any moment. Your heart is beating rather quickly, it’s hurting your chest in an unspeakable way. The nurse had called Wilhemina, despite your protests and now it was only a matter of time before she saw the conditions in which you were in. “What am I going to do now?”, you mutter to yourself as you bury your face in your hands. Normally you’d lift your knees and lean your chin above them, but not today. Your body wouldn’t listen to your plea. Things between you and Wilhelmina weren’t exactly roses and flowers. Last time you saw her was a week ago, when after a fight, caught with rage, as the only things you could hear were the harsh words of hers, you had left. And she had let you, despite noticing the little hesitation in her tone of voice, as she encouraged you to walk through the front door if you had the guts. You had no one else in town, and the only person the hospital could get in touch with was Wilhelmina.
A familiar sound gets straight to your belly. It makes you freeze. Your wish you could hide, disappear from that room, and you almost chuckle at the thought of being unable to do that. Firm and decisive steps echo through the corridors of the hospital until they slow up and stop right in front of the door, yours. You can hear one last tap of the cane, as if Wilhemina wanted to announce her presence to you. Your eyes flutter close for a moment and let your back dive into the large seat cushion behind you, trying to take your emotions at bay. You weren’t mad at her. You could never be. Your love for her was so deep, that in spite of everything, whatever might happen, you’d always come back to her. But would you know? Could you? Your hands are still covering your face, as you try to put a stop at your pathetic tears. You really want to see her, but on the other hand, all you want is to push her away. You can’t trap her with you. You owe her. All you want is spare her the sight of what your life would have been from now on. You love Wilhemina and you want her. A part of you, more than ever, needs her. But you can’t be selfish. You can’t do this to her, and despite the pain that most likely would have never left you, you’re willing to let her go. At all the costs.
When the door opens, you grasp the bed sheet that are covering the nightmare you’re in. You don’t turn around; you can’t really find the strength to do so. Look into her eyes and see the wrath, the resentment, the confusion and God knows what else, would have been too much.
Wilhemina is mad, you can tell by the way she breathes. The sounds she makes, how she exhales and inhales and how she rubs the top of the cane with her fingernail. You don’t need to look at her to notice. Guilt invades you; it hits you like a cold shower. “Why?”, her voice is stern and firm, but her eyes, if only you turned around, you’d realize they were one step away from tear up. She tightens the grip around the cane with both of her hands and her knuckles turn white. You let out a shaky sigh and say nothing. You bite the inside of your cheek and lightly shake your head. “Five days, y/n. For five days I haven’t heard from you”, she moves a step towards you, but you stubbornly keep your gaze elsewhere, as you mentally beg her to let you go. You’d shout at her if you could. Tell her mean things with the only purpose to push her away, but you’re weak. You’re a pathetic human being, that now can do anything good anymore, neither for her nor for yourself. You’re useless. “Only today a nurse decided it was appropriate to give me a call and tell me that my girlfriend had an accident and she never asked for me”, there’s hurt in her tone, you can hear her voice waver as she speaks.
Your heartbeat quickens and you feel like sweating. “You shouldn’t have come”, you lower your head and your eyes flutter close, as in the hope that once you reopen them, Wilhemina will be gone. “The nurse made a mistake”, you harshly say. “I’m fine, but I’m not coming home. You can leave”, you say these words with apathy, a feeling you didn’t know you could show at command. Your tone has never been so flat before, and it amazes the woman in front of you.
Wilhelmina’s brows meet in a confused frown. She shakes her head without understanding what you’re saying. Her lips part open to speak, but for a matter of seconds nothing comes out. For once in her life, she is left speechless by your unusual numbness. Wilhemina finds herself thinking that maybe you were worse off than you looked. “What does it mean you’re not coming home, y/n?”
You snort and roll your eyes. It hurts so much to be a bitch to her but what other choices do you have? You stare the pale wall in front of you covered with ripples and your lips cross in a bitter smile. It reminded you of your damaged soul. “I can’t”, you say, your voice’s barely above a whisper. “I just can’t”, it cracks and new tears invade your cheeks and cloud your eyes that no longer shine with life. Wilhelmina can’t accept that. That meaningless answer. You see her with the corner of your eyes as she stubbornly doesn’t take any step back. You know she loves you. You know she needs you. But now, she doesn’t want to have you in her life. It’s for the better. The sooner she understands that, the better. “Just leave me alone!”, you clench your fists and your arms shake in the attempt to prevent yourself from doing something stupid. “Go away!”, you shout, your eyes are puffy and red.
Wilhemina is getting anxious at this point. A mix of feelings is turning her stomach upside down. She really doesn’t understand or maybe doesn’t want to. You’re breaking up with her? You’re really pushing her away, and for what? A stupid fight? No, Wilhelmina would have never let you do that.
“Stop acting like a child and look at me”, she slams her cane on the floor, making you open your eyes on a snap, startled by her tone. She is crying too. A cascade of silent tears is invading her beautiful features. Her eyes have never been glossier. Her forehead is grieved with concern, and you realize just now how worried she might have been for you. Her lips quiver and her shoulders tremble as if she was about to fall on her knees. It was all your doing. She was feeling so miserable because of you. And that was only the beginning.
“Mina, I-”, you sniffle.
She cuts you off with a wave of her hand. “The nurse told me you can leave this bed and you will. Right now. You’ve been away from me enough for my liking”, she sounds more desperate this time and your heart shutters into pieces. She takes a couple of more steps closer to you, until you can smell the sweet scent of hers. Her gaze softens when she lifts your chin with a single finger. You try so hard not to sob at her touch, but she notices how hard you’re trying to keep your emotions at bay. She wipes your damp cheeks with gentleness, before leaning down to place a small kiss on your forehead. “Why are you pushing me away? I’m sorry if we fought. I should have never let you leave”, she tries and lets out a shaky breath before continuing. “You never answered my calls. I was so worried because I didn’t know where you were, and what happened to you”, she stops and a single tear crushes on her lips. She bites her bottom lip and shakes her head, blinking at the same time to ward off those annoying tears she wasn’t used to cry. “I still don’t”
You frown at that. “You… don’t?”, you hesitantly ask.
Looking into your eyes, Wilhemina realizes how much pain you’re hiding. You remind her of herself and she can’t help but feel scared. “What did they do to you?”, she whispers and sits right next to you, taking a small portion of the mattress. “Please, talk to me. Why are you in this bed?”, she hesitantly wraps her arm around your waist, and despite the temptation to pull away, you don’t. “The nurse mentioned you had an accident but what kind of accident?”
You can’t look at her. You lower your gaze to your hands while they absently play with the white bed sheets. “A kid on the moped, that’s what happened-”, you madly wipe your tears and Wilhelmina holds her breath for what it looks like an eternity.
“But you’re okay, right?”, she forces a smile and tries to use a hopeful tone of voice. She gently strokes your cheek as she examines you. There are some little bruises here and there on your forehead and arms, but other than that you seem to be fine. Were you? “We can go home and forget about everything. We can bake those silly muffins with banana cream you like so much”, she tries, and you bury your face in your hands and start sobbing uncontrollably.
Wilhemina doesn’t know what to do at first. She feels like someone has just stabbed her back. She hates seeing you in so much pain and distress. She can hardly imagine the fright you had to go through. And she was feeling terrible with herself for not having been with you, for not protecting you, for allowing her stupid pride to push you away. “Shush, it’s alright little one”, a tear rolls down her cheek as she rubs your back in soothing circles. “I’m so sorry, baby. I really am. Let me in, little one”, she cups your cheeks and wipe all the tears you have left. But no matter how quickly her fingers were, the old tears are soon replaced by new ones.
“Mina”, you choke on a sob and close your eyes. “Please, you don’t understand”, your voice cracks. You try to pull away but Wilhemina is determined to understand why all of the sudden so seem so keen to get rid of her. She knew you and your body language. You didn’t want that either. It seemed like you were forcing yourself to believe you wanted to get rid of her. But why?
She shakes her head, trying to avoid the pain in her heart that is now stronger than any kind of physical ache. A lump forms in her throat and sweat starts dripping from her forehead. “You’re my girlfriend for Christ’s sake!”, she replies in kind. “What the hell is wrong with you? Get out of this bed now and let’s go home!”, she takes hold of your hand, prompting you to get down that bed.
You pull away as if you had been burned. “I can’t, Wilhemina!”, you shout at her. You move with your torse few inches towards the opposite side of the mattress. “Can’t you get it? Don’t you see it?”
“What?”, Mina repeats as she feels her heart shutters into pieces. “I don’t understand, the nurse said I could get you home…”, her voice is timid again now. There is no machine attached to your arms or anything of the sort. You’re free to go so what is keeping you? “Baby, please, you’re scaring me”
At this point you feel terrible with yourself. A monster. A beast to the only person that really matters to you and that deserves nothing but kindness and love.
“I can’t feel them”, your voice comes out softer, but it doesn’t prevent her from crying. She wipes her tears, before placing her hand over the bed sheets to partially uncover your legs. “You can’t feel what, y/n?”, she questions dumbfounded.
At that point a new wave or rage invades you. You don’t want to control yourself anymore, you feel like exploding. With clenched fists, you start hitting your legs, as boiling tears stream down your face. Wilhemina opens her eyes wide; her face loses colors at your outburst. She quickly approaches you again and tries to grab your wrists, but you don’t let her. You keep hitting yourself, your knees and thighs, hoping to feel again. Hoping to feel the pain.
“Y/n! Stop it!”, she panics and cries. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I can’t feel!”, you shout at her. You dig your fingernails inside your thighs, and yet not even a goosebump runs over your skin. An unamused, low chuckle escapes from your mouth. “I don’t feel anything anymore”
Wilhemina turns pale. “No…”, the woman shakes her head as she finally gets a hold on your wrists and you stop hitting yourself. “No, no…”, she continues, choking on a sob. Realization of what you’re saying hits her hard. Numb. Legs. Mop. Accident. It all makes sense, and at the same time it doesn’t. She feels like someone has just ripped off her heart only to squish it and let it bleed. Wilhemina feels like suffocating and you feel like drowning with her. “Yes”, you nod, throwing he sad truth at her with a simple glance. You’re the one that is pushing her underwater. You, the dearest thing she has in the world, are killing her slowly. And you can’t save her, because you no longer can swim.
“Little one”, she cups your cheeks and then moves a strand of hair behind your ear. She presses her soft, plump lips on your forehead and closes her eyes as a new cascade of tears invade her entire face, streaming down her neck and shoulders. “You’ll get better, baby girl. I’ll help you”, she keeps repeating that like a mantra, as she offers you a reassuring smile. “I’ll never leave you, do you hear me? We will do whatever it takes, we will see as many doctors as the entire earth offers, if we have to”, she promises you and you bite your bottom lip to stop it from quivering.
“Mina…”, you say weakly. “I don’t want to be a burden to you”, you seem so small. The woman realizes you didn’t have to eat much these days, and how could you? Wilhemina sees through your fear; she’s determined to get it out of you. You’re terrified and she is too. But this would have never been an excuse to give up on you as you never gave up on her.
“You’re never a burden, y/n”, she says both softly and firmly. She wraps her arms around you, ignoring the pain in the back while she bows down to give you a hug. She buries her face in the crook of your neck, placing there little, soothing kisses to calm your agitate breathing. “You’re going to be okay”, she murmurs and you cling to her, taking a firm grasp around the purple fabric of her suit. “You’re going to be okay”, she repeats, stroking your hair as you like it. She exhales a little, and you listen to her heartbeat that’s surprisingly calming your anxiety. “We both will be”, she promises you and looking into the beautiful eyes of hers, you can’t help but believe her.
a/n: I couldn’t help myself. I love this woman more than I should. Sally Mckenna owns my heart.
The woman smirks and approaches closer to you. “I’m sorry, baby”, she just shrugs and you understand she is amused by the entire situation. Her hand slides upon your hip; her fingertips squeeze your skin enough to leave marks on you. You shiver and sink your teeth on your lip, not daring to pull away. It’s impossible to divert your gaze when she is looking at you that way, like a predator circling its pray. There was something special in her orbs, something that you couldn’t fully understand yet, but that was intoxicating.
“You know you can’t win when we play catch up”, she says in a sing song voice and you roll your eyes as first reply.
You take a step forward and wrap your arms around Sally’s neck to pull her closer. Your fingers dig in her hair and she moans quietly when you massage a sensitive spot just behind her ears. “One day, I’ll surprise you. I just need to understand which short cut you take”, you simply say.
She shakes her head, tempted to giggle at you. Instead, a grin crosses her dark lips. She strokes your back up and down with a single fingertip, causing you goosebumps all over your body. “You’ll never find out”, she teases you. “I’ll make sure of that”, she whispers in your ear, before sticking her tongue out to titillate your lobe.
You tilt your head to the side as a hint of a smile appears on your nude lips. Her hands move down your back to grab your buttocks. “You don’t play fair”, you rest your forehead against hers and take a deep breath while closing your eyes just a moment. Her body is pressed against yours so much, her scent inebriates your senses. You feel in another world, a place just for the two of you. You can’t help the whimpers that escape your mouth every time she touches you.
She feels like the missing piece of your soul.
Sally lifts your chin, already missing the sight of your beautiful eyes on hers. Her lips slowly graze yours in a gentle, almost innocent kiss while you cup her smooth cheeks. “All’s fair in war”, a hint of a smile appears on the woman’s face when she chews on your bottom lip and you let out a moan. She clings to you; she holds onto you so tight as if you were about to disappear right there and right now.
“All’s is fair in love”, you correct her, making her chuckle. It sends you a tingle right in your low abdomen.
You were all her world. What she liked the most was waking up in the morning and finding your sleeping figure right beside her. The way your chest rose and fell had the power to relax her troubled heart and all the dark thoughts going on inside her head. She loved to caress your dark hair spilled across the pillow you both shared, lingering extra seconds to outline your delicate features and wake you up with a smile by tickling your lips with her fingernail.
You were her cure, the only addiction she needed and of which she had no intention of getting rid.
You lower your gaze to the floor above you and you notice Liz standing at the bar and looking directly at both of you making out like two teenagers. When you meet her gaze, she immediately turns her back at you, serving herself a cocktail.
You gently pull away from Sally. “We are putting on a show”, you say, when she frowns. It takes all your strength not to capture the pout that appeared on her lips and suck away all her sadness and make it yours.
“I don’t see how this is our problem”, she quirks a brow at you.
You roll your eyes, taking a step forward, touching the fabric of her soft coat. She wasn’t exactly like you, actually she was totally different from you. She was the storm in your clear and boring sky. Adrenaline and chaos. A breath of fresh air. She was what you needed to escape from the routine that kept you trapped for the past twenty three years.
“I thought you liked the risk to be caught”
An incredulous chuckle escapes from your mouth at her words. She tilts her head to the side, pretending not to understand your astonishment. And you stick your tongue out at her, making her snort at your childish ways. “This is your kink, my love”
She quirks a brow at your boldness and she slowly licks her lips, already missing the sound of your laughter. She hums contently. “Let me show you another of my kinks”, her skilled fingertips hover on your hips. She knows you; she knows every weakness of yours and how to exploit it. You chew on your bottom lip and narrow your eyes just a little to focus on her mouth pressed on your shoulder. Her teeth sink in your skin, making you tilt your head to the side and moan in pleasure. Her hot, wet tongue does magic on your skin. It has the power to heal the bites and make you feel in ecstasy.
“Sally", you try to stop her, not being the right place nor the right time to do such a thing. The tip of her tongue teases your lobe, making you squirm.
Before you can think of escaping from her tight grip, your back is pressed against the wall. “Ah ah, I don’t think so”, she lifts her knee, roughly pressing it between your legs to prevent you from moving. She smirks at you, when her palm slides under your shirt.
Your face turns in a red hue. A long shaky breath escapes your mouth when with her free hand she pulls your hair to lift your chin.
She captures your lips once more, this time in a hot, famished kiss and you can’t help but return it. You gently poke her upper lip with the tip of your tongue, timidly asking for full access inside her mouth. She lets you in and in a split second your tongues play the same game you two were doing a moment earlier. She tickles behind your teeth and you pull her closer by grabbing her hips.
Her knee makes friction to your privates making you moan hotly in her mouth. “Oh God”, you close your eyes, trying to focus on your breath that is visibly accelerating.
“You’re so beautiful", she murmurs back at you. Her voice is soft, tender, and you understand she is on the verge of crying. “The sounds you make are the best addiction I could wish for”
“Maybe I’m the one that can’t do without you", you admit sincerely.
You hear her sniffles and your eyes open again. Concern written all over your features when you realize your presentiments were right. You cup her face and gently hush her. You thumbs graze her smooth, pale skin and she leans to the touch, trying so hard not to let her emotions run rampant. You want to fix her, you want to suck away all the pain, the insecurities and God knows what else. Anything that is causing her the pain, you want to take it away. Imprison her darkness somewhere else and let her light shine once again. You know it’s there. She shows it to you.
“Tell me you love me", her voice cracks, she looks as fragile as a chipped mirror.
“I love you”
“Again", she urges you, sinking her nails in your skin.
It hurts but you don’t pull away. You smile fondly at her. In these moments, all she needs is reassurance. “I’m so in love with you”, you place a kiss on her forehead, closing your eyes while doing so. “I never loved someone the way I love you”, you promise.
She keeps a hold on you, by grabbing the fabric of your shirt this time. You graze the tip of her nose with yours before kissing it. You take your sweet time to place your lips on every inch of her skin. She even looks embarrassed because at some point she blushes and looks down, and takes both your hands in hers. “I love you too, little one”, she brings your palm to her lips and sweetly kisses your knuckles. “I never want to be away from you. I want us to be so close”, she whines. And you smile because she looks like a capricious child to you.
You know where this conversation is heading so you sigh. “I know, but I have to go soon”, you hate saying it, but you have a job and sadly bills to pay.
She groans and her eyes darken a little bit. “You really have to?”, she takes a step back folding her arms at you. She diverts her gaze from yours, but she can’t resist much, despite having tried everything to stay away from you. She looks like a scared caged animal, when she does that. You don’t really understand why it’s so hard for her to let you go, especially since you always come back.
“I’m afraid I have no other choice”, you shrug, and reach out to touch her chin. Your thumb lingers on her mouth and she immediately licks it, making you chuckle. “Hey!”, you try to withhold your hand but she is faster and she grabs your wrist. “What do you think you are doing?”, you ask, trying to sound annoyed.
But she knows you too well. She raises your fingertips to her lips once more, careless of prying eyes. “I licked it, so this”, she looks at your hand, before leering at you. “Is mine”, she puts one of your fingers in her mouth, circling it with her tongue.
You can hardly suppress a moan, and you stop resisting it, knowing that with Sally it is a losing battle.
“Mutt and Jeff come to the crazy idea to prank Wilhemina Venable and to do so, they ask you, the only person, that in their opinion, Mina not only tolerates, but also likes”
Idk what’s this. Totally idiotic, Wilhemina is probably out of character here, but it was a fun ride anyway. Thank you for bearing me lol
On your way back home, Mutt and Jeff decided to walk you home, but you soon realized that it wasn’t a simple courtesy.
“Guys, come on”, you complain, rubbing the corners of your eyes, as you try to make some sense out of all their chattering. “You gotta be kidding me”
“Never been more serious, Y/n”, Mutt soon replies. “Right Jeff?”, he glances at him, that immediately returns the gaze with a wink.
“Quite right, Mutt!”, he replies, grinning.
You lightly shake your head, continuing to walk among them. “She is going to fire me”, you say in a mocking sing song voice, since you felt like you were talking to two kids in need of some sense into them. When they stare back at you with a blank expression over their faces, you snort loudly. “I need the job, jerks”, your voice comes out a little exasperated at this point, due to their insistence. Wilhemina was your boss, and you weren’t going to blow everything off for a stupid prank.
“And you’ll keep it”, Mutt says. “I sense it!”
You look up at him with a frown. “You sense it, huh?”, clicking your tongue, you fold your arms over your chest, narrowing your eyes towards him. “Who are you, some sort of spiritualist?”, the sarcasm is evident in your tone.
“Yeah, I like the title actually”, he mutters to himself, making you giggle. Yet, you aren’t convinced.
“Y/n, hear me out”, Jeff continues, grabbing you by your shoulders. You tiredly meet his gaze, still rather adamant about the entire thing. “I’ll bet you fifty dollars she will freak out and weep bitter tears”, he says, sweeping his tongue over his lips.
You can’t help but laugh at that. “Are you really that eager to lose?”, you continue, lightly shaking your head. You walk a little faster, putting yourself in front of them, hands on your hips and an arched brow. “You’re nuts, if you think she cares that much about me”, you talk as clearly as you can, eyeing both with a serious look.
“You’re the crazy one if you still haven’t noticed the way she looks at you”, Jeff clarifies, mimicking your tone. “Like she wants to-”, he looks for a delicate way to say it, until Mutt steps in.
“-eat you”, he nudges him and winks at you.
You’re shocked by the conversation you’re enduring and you quickly turn around; eyes open wide. “Oh my God, guys! She is not-”, you say both amused and embarrassed. “Wilhemina doesn’t-”, you can’t even finish the sentence that a lump forms in your throat.
Mutt is quick to wrap his arm around yours, pulling you closer. A smirk plays out on his face. “What are you afraid of? It’s only fair toying with people in this time of the year”, you try to pull away from his grip, but you find yourself trapped between both of them once again, as Jeff soon grabs your other arm.
“People, yes. Not Wilhemina…”, you whine. “Guys, please”
“Don’t be a pussy”, Mutt playfully ruffles your hair and you let out a feral grunt, absolutely hating when they did that to you. He ignores you and his gaze shifts towards the other guy, also smirking. “I feel savage today, so I’ll bet you an additional fifty dollars, that Ms. Venable is going to kiss her”
You let out an amused scoff. “Hello? In case you two forgot, I’m right here!”, you point out, squirming away from their grip and waving your hands in the air as to be noticed. “Do I have a saying in all of this or?”
“I’m in!”, Jeff does a high five with Mutt, before muttering a simple and plain no.
“Clearly…”, you mutter to yourself, rolling your eyes. At least you’re glad to be almost home. “Lord, grant me the strength to deal with these individuals”
*
You can’t believe, you’re actually about to put on a show. You lightly run a hand through your hair, gently messing it a little bit, as you always do when you feel nervous. Both Mutt and Jeff decided to turn you slightly paler with a light layer of makeup and dark circles under your eyes, yet you made sure they didn’t exaggerate. It didn’t turn out too bad actually, and you had to admit it looked pretty realistic.
You sweep your tongue over your lips, often shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You take a long, shaky breath, as you keep stalling about five more minutes, undecided whether to drop that ridiculous idea or not. But you were already halfway on this. Your hand is pressed against your “injured” hip, that’s slowly turning red. You had to admit, Jeff and Matt did a great job in mixing cocoa powder, water and some drops of reddish coloring to create fake blood.
Your eyes flutter close for a moment and count to three, before lifting your right hand in mid-air, in order to knock at the door. You do it gently; a small part of you hopes Wilhemina isn’t at home, despite having noticed the lights on in the window.
I’ll be so dead after this, you mutter to yourself.
Few seconds after, the door opens. “Y/n?”, she says your name softly, a hint of surprise in her tone. “What are you doing here at this time?”, the redhead gently smirks up at you. You’re glad there’s not any hint of discomfort in her voice, despite having showed up both uninvited and without an intelligent reason at her house.
You wrinkle your nose, and feel your cheeks turning into a slight nuance of pink. She looks both beautiful and relaxed. You’ve never seen her with her hair down, a pair of wide leg joggers and a slightly unbuttoned blouse. Squeezing your eyes shut for a moment, you try to avoid the tickle in your stomach as you feel Wilhemina’s stare on you. “I’m sorry to intrude, I just…”, you mutter weakly, remembering the reason why you’re there.
Pretend to be hurt.
Wilhemina opens the door a little more, leaning against the jamb, so that she can loosen the grip around her cane. “Can you speak a little louder, dear?”, she tilts her head slightly to the side when you avert your gaze from hers, in order not to be betrayed by the amused twinkle in your eyes.
“I don’t… I can’t…”, you fake pant, hissing as you put some pressure on your hip.
Wilhemina frowns a little bit. You’re sure she is watching you with confusion, yet you don’t dare to look up at her just yet. “You’re more of a stutterer than the first day you introduced yourself to me”, she says amused, letting out a short chuckle. She is way too focused on your face that’s’ looking down at your feet to realize the bloodstain that is rapidly scattering under your shirt. Few droplets fall on her doormat. You know it’s just a matter of seconds before she notices what was going on.
You look up at her, narrowing your eyes and biting your bottom lip, before muttering in a faint whisper, “Hurts”, your face is contorted in a pained expression.
Concern flashes across Wilhemina’s eyes, when she shifts her gaze towards your stomach. To her horror, she finds your shirt crimson red. “Y/n?”, you can’t detect any hint of sarcasm in her voice anymore. Her will to play with you faded away in a heartbeat. She lets go of her cane, dropping it on the floor, before taking a rapid step closer to you. “For Christ sake, what happened to you?”, she hesitates at the door about whether to touch you or not; something that you find adorable.
“Help me…”, you respond in a light tone, staggering on your feet. Wilhemina parts her lips open to say something, but nothing comes out in time. She gasps and without seconds thoughts, she wraps her arms around your upper body, being extra careful, given the fact that she wasn’t aware of the gravity of your injury. A small smile crosses your lips, but you bite down your tongue, trying to keep the game for as long as possible.
She places one hand to sustain your head as she gently puts you down on the floor, after shutting the door. You shift your eyes close for a moment, and Wilhemina only fears the worse when you do so. “No, no, no, no, hey, stay awake”, soon, the redhead is on her knees; she reaches a hand toward you, stroking your pale skin.
“Wilhemina…”, you call to her and she quickly runs her hand down your forehead. “My hip…”, you blink, making her believe it was hard keeping your eyes open.
“I know. I know. I’ve got you”, she whispers, her throat suddenly goes dry. She feels tears forming to her eyes, but she doesn’t allow them to roll down her cheeks. “Don’t fall asleep on me”, she continues more harshly than intended.
Is she actually worried about me?
You look down at your wound, nodding weakly. Hissing, you try to sit up, but Wilhemina has other ideas and stops you before you can even make an attempt.
“Easy, easy, sweetheart”, she soothes you, yet her voice has never sounded more concerned. “It’s going to be alright, I promise. Just stay awake for me”, she looks up at you; hope in her tone.
You smile weakly back at her, nodding again.
She is so loving. And so cute. Also, wait a moment. Did she call me sweetheart?
A soft blush is now rising upon your cheeks.
“Good girl”, she gets even closer to you; her shaky hand moves on your side, that with slight hesitation she presses against your skin. You feel a shiver run through your spine. “You’ll feel better soon”, she takes few unsteady breaths as to pull herself together and, in that moment, you wonder how concerned she actually is about you. She has never felt so hopeless before and that scares the shit out of her.
For how long should I keep the game? I already feel so bad.
You soon realize in which position she is bent and your eyes wide in horror. How could you forget such an important detail about her? The last thing you want is causing her physical pain due to a silly game. “Wilhemina, y-your back. You shouldn’t bend over like that”
She ignores you, tucking your hair behind your ear as she keeps putting pressure on your non-existent injury. “We have much bigger issues to worry about. My back doesn’t even hurt”, she promises and it’s partly true. All she can think of right now is you. Your pain. She knows how to deal with hers, but little did she knows about how to cope with others. Especially if it’s about people she secretly cares about.
You can’t help but think how pretty she is, frowning and pursuing her lips like that. “We need to clean this injury, and- Lord, should I call the police? Who did this to you?”, she starts rambling as panic comes over her. You haven’t thought of that, actually, so you say nothing, and just let Wilhemina vent and talk nonstop. A small smile forms to your lips, when she averts her gaze from yours. “No, probably the ambulance first. I swear I’ll kill with my own hands whoever did this to you”, at this point she isn’t looking at you anymore.
“Listen, I need to get help. Hold on for me, alright?”, she places your hand against your wound, telling you to push with all the strength you have. She grabs ahold of your face, gently stroking your cheeks with so much tenderness. You nod, allowing yourself to offer her a reassuring smile.
She lets out an exasperated groan, once she gets up; her eyes roaming around the house. “Where did I put the goddamn phone?”
You’re glad her back was turned, because at that point you can’t hold back your giggles anymore. You decide to put a stop to the prank, that surprisingly went better than expected. She actually cares about you. And it doesn’t matter if you lost the bet, because somehow the reaction you got is much better than any amount of money you could have won instead.
“Wilhemina, calm down, I’m fine”, you slowly get up, however, she doesn’t see you do so, way too focused on looking for her phone, and scattering everything to the ground as she searches for it.
“One second, sweetheart”
There it is, that pet name again.
“I’m fine!”, you repeat, giggling a little loudly this time.
“You’re not fine!”, she stammers, picking through the drawers all over the house. “I won’t let you die on my floor, damnit”
You bite your bottom lip and fold your arms over your chest, unable to control your giggles. “Mina, please, just look at me”, your voice comes out cheerful, different from the one you used earlier.
She turns around and her eyes widen in surprise. “W-what? How are you standing like that?”
You lightly shake your head and bite your lip. “It’s fake blood ”, you explain, with a guilty expression on your face. You lift your shirt just a little bit to show her that under all that gobbledygook there is nothing but your smooth and clear skin. “That’s not real, see? It’s chocolate”, you raise a finger to your lips, licking off it.
WIlhemina’s expression is all of the sudden unreadable. “I beg you, pardon?”, she asks calmly, too calmly for your liking.
You swallow hard, giving her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, it was just a joke…”, you swipe your tongue across your teeth. “Are you okay?”
She casts her eyes upon yours, and she lets out what seems to be a breath of both exasperation and relief. “No, I’m not okay, you goddamn idiot!”, she responds, lightly raising her voice at you.
You bow your head; all of the sudden your feel so small.
Wilhemina notices that and she tiredly rubs the root of her nose. “How did you-?”, her gaze softens, as she realizes how guilty you must feel. “Why did you do such a thing?”, she reaches you and firmly grabs your chin in need to look into your eyes.
“I’m so sorry I never meant to do this”, you mumble lightly. “You see, Mutt and Jeff, they…”, once she hears those names, she scoffs unamused.
She lets go of your chin, without moving away from you. “Assholes”, she mutters under gritted teeth. “I should have known it was their handiwork”
“I should have never agreed on doing this-”, you lift your head up to fully look at her just in time to see her quickly wipe her cheek. You frown. “Hey, are you crying?”
Congratulation, Y/N. You deserve the credit for the jerk of the year.
“No. Of course not”, Wilhemina bites her lip, slowly regaining her natural composure. “You stained my carpet, that’s what I’m upset about”, she mutters, lowering her gaze down to the floor.
“What?”, you can’t help yourself but grin at her reply. “You’re joking”
She looks at you, unamused. “Do I look like I’m joking to you?”, she snaps, folding her arms over her chest and hardening her features for a split second. Her eyes, though, tell you a different story. And you let out a sigh of relief.
You wipe another falling tear with your thumb. “Is this the only reason why you’re crying?”, you ask softly.
Or were you actually worried about me?
To your surprise, she doesn’t pull away. With a small huff of annoyance, she replies, “This carpet cost more than your entire wardrobe”, there’s both truth and sarcasm in her statement and you find yourself nodding and flattening your lips in a thin line, not offended at all by her words. She continues, “It won’t be easy to clean it up”
A light chuckle escapes from your mouth making Wilhemina’s heart warm up. It’s probably the first time she listens to such a melodic sound. She had no idea you could light up the room in such an easy way. As your chuckle dies out, you add, “I’ll gladly pay the laundry bill. Seriously though, forgive me”, you repeat, eyes roaming on her features, in search of a hint of a smile or a sign that would make you believe that she didn’t totally hate you for that. “I never thought I’d scare you that much. I honestly agreed with Mutt and Jeff because I was sure you’d have noticed it was a joke. I wasn’t expecting you to…”, you rumble.
She cuts you off, eyes narrowed as she asks, “To do what? Help, let you in, care?”
You open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out. You shake your head, though. “No, I-”
“Look, I’m aware, I’m not the easiest person to deal with”, she reasons softly. “I can’t even imagine what people say about me”, a sad smile graces upon her lips.
“No, it’s not true”, you’re quick to object, frowning. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. I really am. And I love working with you, I mean it… I ruined your evening with this stupid prank”, you grumble, feeling a little ashamed. “I should probably leave”, you trail off, about to turn around.
Wilhemina sighs loud and clear. “Hey, what’s your rush now?”, she grabs your wrist, and when your eyes cast upon hers once more, you find her smiling at you. “I’m not mad if that’s what you’re concerned about”, she says apprehensively.
“But-”
“No buts”, she objects with a raised brow. “You should put on something clean. It’s a little bit early for Halloween”, she teases, briefly cupping your apple cheek. “You’re covered in chocolate. It looks like you bathed in it”
Once again, you find yourself both blushing and chuckling. “I must look very sweet then”, the redhead grins at your response.
She gently wipes some of it from your cheek. “Wait up here. I’ll get you one of my shirts and clean towels. If you want you can take a shower”
Your face warms up underneath her soft, delicate hands.
“Oh no, you don’t have to… I already messed up your carpet, and-”
Wilhemina can’t help but laugh genuinely, finally relaxing after that scare. “You’re right, that’s why I highly suggest you not to move form that spot. You don’t want to do any more damage now, do you?”, her voice is firm, yet you notice something changed. She feels at ease; she looks actually happy.
“So, I can’t sit on the couch?”, you decide to play along.
She lightly shakes her head, as she walks away to get you a shirt. “If you want to bleed for real, please, be my guest”, she says, chuckling to herself as she perceives you tense up on the spot.
“You wouldn’t”, eyes knitting in suspicious.
Wilhemina’s cane taps slowly against the floor as she makes her way up to her room. A fond smile plays out on her features, as she whispers to herself, “You’re quite right, sweetheart”
I’m not entirely happy with how this turned out, but I guess I couldn’t do any more than that. This was a little emotional to write. Hope you all enjoy!
With a flick of her finger, the door bursts open. You’re lying on the floor, back facing the wall, when Cordelia breaks through. Myrtle follows behind. “Oh, sweet child”, she murmurs softly, lifting her hand to the chest, when she realizes the condition you’re in. The Supreme lets out a shaky breath, she feels like collapsing at the sight before her eyes.
“No, no, no, no…”, her legs meet the floor, and in a matter of seconds she is underneath you. She carefully places you on her lap, her hands tremble as she does so. Last thing she wants is to hurt you more, since you seem to be in a lot of pain. “W-what did you do?”, she breathes out, over a dry throat.
You lift your gaze to meet hers, trying to find the voice inside your throat. Your chest rises and fall so at a great speed, in some desperate plea to keep breathing. A single tear slips from your eye.
“What were you thinking, huh?”, she gently strokes your cheeks, as she meets your weary eyes. You whimper and your lids flutter close for a moment. You immediately see him, when you do so. An evil grin spreads over his face as he gazes down at you. He prompts you to approach closer to you, but you disperately shake your head. You’re trying so hard to hold on, helplessly praying him to give more time. Just another minute.
“You’re not allowed to die. Do you hear me?”, Cordelia’s voice brings you back to her and your eyes open again, blazing with a new purpose.
You feel so weakened, but you hear her. You scrape out whatever magic you have left to stay awake. You release a shaky breath, that looks more like a pained sob to Cordelia’s ears, before speaking, “D…dee..”, your lips crack in a small smile.
“You are a foolish!”, she accuses you, yet those words don’t hurt you.
On the contrary, a soft chuckle escapes from your throat. You deserve her rage. You deserve her disappointment. You deserve whatever she wants to throw at you.
It was better than having her death, wasn’t it?
“I’d have expected more from you!”, she continues, both firmly and softly. Her chest aches and her stomach has never been so twisted, as she watches your skin loosing color.
“Shush, d..don’t c..cry”, you lift your arm slightly, in the hope to reach her face. She helps you and grasps your hand in hers, lacing your fingers together. She shakes her head, and your knuckles meet her boiling tears as you stroke her cheek. “It’s going to be o…kay”, you tell her quietly.
“You’re certainly out of your mind if you think I’ll let you die”, she refuses to accept that you’re going to be the one saying goodbye to her. It wasn’t fair. Wrong in so many ways. Anyone would have killed to be next in line as supreme, yet you had to play by your own rules. You never liked them, in the first place. You were the stubborn girl, the one always trying to object over anything to do it in your own way. Cordelia used to be intrigued by your obstinacy, until now. Looking at you, she couldn’t comprehend it. She couldn’t support the decision you made without consulting her first.
“Y/n come here, this instant!”, Cordelia’s tone is both stern and amused as she tells you to stop at once.
You had pranked her, of course. You had made some cookies early that morning, in order to lure her in your little trap. Everyone at the Academy knew Cordelia’s a sweet tooth and that she couldn’t resist in front of sweets of all kinds, especially your homemade ones.
The other day, Cordelia had stolen the last muffin you had carefully put aside, to eat at the end of lessons.
The blonde witch got busted with some chocolate at the corner of her mouth and you immediately realized it was her.
But you couldn’t be mad at her. Not ever. Your heart swelled with so much love when she flattened her lips, and diverted her gaze, mouthing a small apologize.
“You catch me first!”, you chuckled, before transmuting on the stairs.
Little did you know that Cordelia had many skills. And one of those was predicting your every move.
“Oh, I will!”
You let out a gasp of surprise, when you feel her arms wrapped tightly around your waist. She pulls you against her chest and you almost lose your balance. But Cordelia would never let you fall, and in a blink of eye, both of you were on the couch. Downstairs. You try so hard not to laugh at her. She looks so silly, you fail to take her seriously.
Cordelia’s face turned purple due to the spell with which you had enchanted your fresh baked cookies.
“Oh you find it funny, huh?”, she smirked, looking down at you, as she pins your wrists over your head.
You nod and giggle. “Purple suits you”, you tease her.
Cordelia shook her head in disapproval. She clicks her tongue, as she thinks of a way to punish you. “Is that so? I think I know which color suits you the most”, an amused twinkle glimmered her beautiful dark orbs.
“Oh, I’m totally shaking”, you keep challenging her.
Her fingers brush against your sensitive sides, causing you to flitch, in the pathetic attempt to squirm away from her grip. One hand is holding still your wrists, while the other is running wild over your sensitive skin. “No Dee, no!”, you bust out laughing.
A feral grin crossed her lips. Your face turns red, due to the tickling. “Oh, yes, yes, yes”, her voice sounds calm, while her fingers roam over your body viciously. “I knew red was your color”, she whispers in your ear, as she continues her innocent torture for a little more.
“You never listened”, she scolds you softly. “Not even once…”, she lets out a small sob, as she tries to focus on her magic, through her trembling hands. “But this time, you will fucking listen to me. You will not leave me”
Little did she know that your body would have pushed back Cordelia’s powers, no matter what. A sad smile crosses your lips, and a sense of guilt invades you.
Meanwhile Myrtle had found the letter placed on your desk, carefully reading it all in one breathe.
She lets out a sigh, that you hear, so you move your gaze to meet her heartbroken figure. When she looks up at you, holding onto your letter, you realize she knows what just happened to you. Her lips flatten in a thin line and a tear rolls down her cheek. She bends down, approaching you. Her thumb carefully strokes your cheek, making you smile softly. “You’d have been an exceptional Supreme”
You lean into the touch, nodding quietly. Eyes soon glistered with tears, as you try to imagine what it would have been like. But you quickly push away that thought, because the sole idea to continue living without Cordelia, makes your heart feels like it’s stabbed over and over.
Cordelia doesn’t understand why Myrtle’s just said that, so she frowns, offering her a questioning look. “W..why are you talking like that?”
Myrtle bites her lip, lightly shaking her head. “There’s nothing we can do, Cordelia. You need to say goodbye”
“No”, a small gasp of unbelief leaves her lips. “No, that’s a lie!”, she looks into Myrtle’s eyes, hoping she is just joking. You’ve hardly ever seen Cordelia like this. She is broken, yet furious with you and your irresponsible decisions. Mad at Myrtle for having said something so awful, and with an unnatural ease. “We are witches for fuck’s sake!”, she continues, in barely controlled rage.
She can hardly believe you give up on your life so easily, without thinking twice. Without thinking of the ones, you’d leave behind.
It’s hard to keep your eyes open at this point, but you fight for as long as you can. You want to tell her that there’s nothing she can do, but words die in your throat before they can come out. Her magic won’t help you this time. You had made a deal with Papa Legba not long ago, making sure nobody knew. The blade with which you hurt yourself came from Hell itself. It was laced with poison and soaked in the water of river Lethe. The deal was rather simple: you’d serve Hell for all the years Cordelia’d have lived as Supreme on earth, with the promise to be ruined with her in the afterlife, far from Hell.
“D…dee. I n…need to tell you som…ething”, your quite voice manages to come out. “Myrtle’s r…right”
“She’s not!”, Cordelia looks at you puzzled. “We will have plenty of time to discuss about your dumb decisions, now I need to find a way to heal your wounds”
You let out a short chuckle at her tone, despite knowing she isn’t amused at all. “C'mon…”, your throat is painfully dry and it tastes terribly.
She reaches for your hands and gasps in horror, when she notices how cold you are. Her magic isn’t working as it should. She offers you a squeeze, but you don’t reciprocate. You don’t have the strengh to. Cordelia’s never been so scared in her life before. You see her fright mirrored in her beautiful dark orbs. Her lip quivers; she feels on the verge of crying hysterically. “She’s ice-cold, Myrtle”, tears stream down her face, blurring her vision. You so desperately want to wipe those away but you can barely keep your eyes open at this point. “D..dee?”, you try again, but she ignores you.
She is shook by hiccups and sobs. “Help me!”, she snaps at Myrtle, who stands motionless, as if she’d have already given up. Cordelia shakes her head, in disbelief. “Why aren’t you? Something’s wrong… I don’t understand what it is”, she takes a shuddering breath, as she tries to transfer some of her magic into you without success. Her magic can do so little, too little on your open, still fresh wounds. She cleans all the clotted blood that has been staining your skin, but nothing more. The cuts are still there. Her hands curl into fists from frustration.
“Listen!”, you urge in low, but firm voice. “I d…on’t have m..uch time any…more”, you shiver, as you fight against the grip of Papa Legba on your soul. You can feel your soul slipping away, but you are determined to stay awake a little more. Closing your eyes for a moment, you see Papa Legba again, puffing as if he was bored of the entire situation going on in the Coven.
“Allow me to speak to her one more time”, you ask in a plea, eyes are glistered with tears.
He scoffs in annoyance. “If you wanted to talk to her so badly, why didn’t you before selling your soul to me?”
“I’m begging you”, you wish you could scream, but your voice is stuck in your throat. Desperation soon written all over your feature. “Give me my voice. Please”
“Alright, child”, he concedes, compassionately. “One minute. Then you come to me”, he adds sternly.
You nod quietly. “I will”
Cordelia stiffens, unable to say anything. Tears keep streaming down her face. She bites the inside of her cheek, when you open your eyes once again, regain consciousness. She knows you want to tell her something, and she lets you, sniffling softly as she encourages you with a timid smile.
“Before meeting you I felt so invisible, but you showed me all the things I could be”, sadness takes over of your voice as you speak. “It’s easier to have self-confidence, if someone else trusts you first. And you trusted me from the very beginning. You saved me, Cordelia”
She leans down closer to your face, as she grazes your cheeks with her mouth. She inhales in you and cries on you. “But I can’t save you now…”, her voice comes out so thin that is barely audible. Her hand looks for yours and this time you’re strong enough to offer her a little squeeze.
You smile a little. You manage to lift your free hand and slide your fingertips through her soft, blonde curls. “I’ll always be with you. I’ll guide you, I promise”, a drop of blood trickles down your nose. Your breathing is heavy and laboured now. You hardly feel your limbs anymore.
The blonde realizes something’s happening. She is quick to hold you tightly against her cheek, wiping under your nose with so much tenderness you barely feel her touch.
“I’ve a..always l..loved..you”, you manage to say. Cordelia can’t hold back her tears anymore at this point. She places her lips upon your forehead and her eyes flutter close for a moment. “I love you too. I love you so much, y/n”, her voice cracks as she keeps saying that, like a mantra. It feels like a sweet lullaby that helps you fall asleep.
Your heart feels full again. For a matter of seconds you feel alive, and all the pain disappears. Myrtle mouths you a soft goodbye, and you smile softly before letting yourself slip in the arms of Papa Legba. Your eyes drift closed, they won’t open again.
Cordelia keeps you cradled against her, as white as sheet, and cold as you’ve never been. Her powers are fully recovered. She feels anew, as the felt the first day she became Supreme.
“You weren’t supposed to leave this world before me”, she cries softly, between hiccups.
Myrtle’s hand reaches for your pulse, soon noticing there is none. “I’m so sorry. She’s gone”, she whispers, pulling Cordelia close to her, to kiss the top of her head, over and over, in the hope to calm down her hurtful cry.
“After finding out to be next in line as Supreme, you take a drastic decision. On behalf of the Coven and Cordelia herself, you change the fate in store for her”
warnings:suicide attempt, mentions of blood.
I couldn’t let it happen; I couldn’t watch her slip away right before my eyes. I hated myself for being the reason why that was happening; the sole fault of my world crushing down was my own. I was weakening her. I was making her feel unwell. It all started with slight headaches, something she could easily manage. The sky came back clear, and everything would start all over again. But it wasn’t always easy to mask the pain. And I saw her. I saw her slowly shattering down. And looking down at my bare hands tingling, exploding with the need to unleash their magic, I felt ashamed. Disgusted. Repulsed by myself even.
“You’re the dearest thing to me, Cordelia. How can I sit and watch you fade away?”
Things had slowly aggravated. It was harder for her to hide her pain. The closer I approached her, the weaker she got. I was afraid to touch her. I was even terrified to stand in the same room as hers. She noticed and sadness grew closer to the pain. I felt like a monster. I was sucking away Cordelia’s life, while my powers increased, by what right? Those beautiful dark orbs of hers, glistered with tears and laced with fatigue, were changing color. It was my doing. It was my breathing. My heart was shattering into pieces. The woman I loved more than life itself was fading. I never wanted to be Supreme, I never wanted to hold such a great responsibility. It wasn’t my call. I never wanted it to be, especially since there was a price to pay. The highest. The cruelest. In order for the new Supreme to rise, the previous one must die. I knew the rules. The very first thing they teach you at the Academy is the meaning of being a Supreme, but I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined that I would be the one.
I’ll be damned, I’ll never let you die. I’ll never take your place.
I shake my head, boiling tears stream down my face. My heart races and my breathing is irregular, once fast, then slow. I put a silencing spell inside the room, that way I can allow myself to cry, to scream even if necessary, since I know the pain that is about to come will be stronger than anything experienced before. The grip around the pen is getting shaky as I write the last sentences of my letter for her. My lips crack in a smile, as I remember all the things we went through together.
I’m not sure she thinks it’s me weakening her. I never dared to perform the seven wonders in front of her. I always excused myself, when she tried to test my powers. She knew I was a powerful witch, though. She was the Supreme, so it was easy for her to sense my energy radiate through her. The same energy that for weeks I was trying to suppress. I read all the books I could put my hands on. None of them was able to show me another way to fix this. To refuse the title of Supreme. I let out a sob I didn’t realize I was holding as more tears fall down my face. On the letter. On the counter. Once I realize the mess I’m making, I curse myself and promptly move the piece of paper far from my face. I lift it right in front my eyes and I carefully blow on it. I bend my head to the side to make sure it’s clear. The words written on it are still readable. My calligraphy looks different. I normally have a gentle hand. The letters are shaped graciously, while the ones I’m staring are hasty and sloppy. I shake my head as my vision turns blurred. I never thought that would be so hard for me to let go of her. But if someone had to die, it had to be me.
I slide my fingers through my hair and let out a puff of air. I need to put my shit together. I’m a coward. I can’t be what they want me to be. The more time passes, the more I know. Cordelia worked so hard for the Academy, it’s not her time yet to leave. She needs more time. The girls need her, more than they would ever need someone like me. I’m irresponsible. I skip classes. I can hardly get something done in time. I have no sense of responsibility, yet I’m not dumb, I know I can’t possibly run the Coven by myself. She is the Supreme and so much more. Cordelia is a real leader, a powerful, caring, and generous woman. I might be able to perform the seven wonders, but I have no experience in leading a Coven of witches. That was insane. I lost count of all the times I laughed at that. The thought of her living after my passing reassures me. “I hope you know you’re all that matters to me”, I mutter softly, before pressing my lips together. I imagine her eyes fixed on mine. My mind is already delirious and I did nothing yet. How pathetic can I be?
I wish she was there with me, holding my hand, pulling me into her sweet embrace as I let myself slip away. I can hardly get out from my head her sweet ways towards me. How her hand cups my cheek and her thumb graze my skin. Cordelia Goode guards the eyes of an angel. She’s ethereal, a goddess. She says I’m sweet. She likes to flatter me and tease me. Her eyes sparkle when a hue of pink color my cheekbones at her compliments and jokes. She calls me little one. She calls me sweetheart. She has always acted differently around me. Perhaps, she thinks I haven’t noticed, but I have.
“I can’t possibly take your place”, I trail off, wiping my tears once again. I can’t imagine a world with her gone. I don’t want to be part of a word where she isn’t there, that’s why I’m doing this. “You need to stay alive. The Coven needs you”, my throat feels dry, so I swallow and swallow until I cough. I turn my head to the side, spotting the little blade that was resting over the desk. I bite down my bottom lip, and my eyes flutter close for a moment. Then, I examine the small, yet deadly blade in my shaky hands. My finger traces the tip of the dagger, and a shiver runs through my spine. It makes me hiss. A drop of blood falls from my finger and stains the tip of the blade. I stretch out my arm, carefully lifting the sleeve of my shirt. I can feel the pulse point on my wrist and see it through my very fair skin.
Moving down on the floor, with the dagger in my left hand, I lean up against the floor. I take a long, shaky breath before placing the blade over my arm, close to the pulse point. I bite my bottom lip hard, not knowing the amount of pain I’d felt at first, and then I press the blade onto the skin. More tears stream down my face as I let out a muffled scream. I hit the back of my head a couple of times against the wall behind me, to keep myself from screaming farther. In a matter of seconds the blood starts gushing down, around my wrist, way to the floor. It’s crimson blood, and soon enough my right hand is covered with it. My breath accelerates; I know I have to go deeper. “Cordelia, I-I’m so s-sorry”, tears begin flowing furiously down my dump, pale cheeks, that are slowly losing life. I let out a hiss, when I dig the blade vertically from the wrist till the elbow. I feel sick in my stomach, and my throat feels dryer than ever. When I swallow, all I can taste is blood and a mixture of pain and nausea. I can feel my fingers going numb, like a tingling sensation that feels like a wake-up call to stop, but I can’t. Dark blood, almost black, continues to drip off my right hand. My face is contorted in a grimace of disgust. I cut again, and again, experiencing the most excruciating pain in my entire life. It wasn’t only the blade that hurt like Hell, but also the thought of leaving Cordelia. I’d have never seen those beautiful dark orbs again, that soft, blonde hair, and that smile, that could illuminate the deepest darkness of Hell itself. My breathing slows even farther an my head feels heavy, as I tilt it to the side. I blink a few times, until the grip around the blade weakens, and it falls down on the stained pavement. At first I try to stay conscious, but to what purpose? My lips formed to a smile at the thought that maybe I’d have met Cordelia again in the afterlife. She wouldn’t forget about me, would she? “I’ll w-wait for you”, my eyes tremble under the eyelids, until blackness grabs hold of me.
*
“Y/n thinks I haven’t noticed, but I did”, Cordelia mutters softly, as she thinks of you. A sad smile crosses her lips and her gaze drops on her lap, “My darling girl”, sobs fall from her lips, as she pictures the image of you before her eyes.
Myrtle has never seen Cordelia so heartbroken before. She holds back from crying, deeply pained for the absurd twist of events. She reaches out to take Cordelia’s cold hand in hers, softly rubbing her skin in soothing circles. That way, the Supreme looks up at her and more tears soon invade her already burning cheeks. “I don’t know what to do”, her voice comes out so thin, barely above a whisper. “I never knew what I was doing to tell the truth. And my mother…”, she trails off and blinks in order to ward off those annoying tears. “She was right about me”, she says resigned, humiliated even.
Myrtle lets out a small chuckle at her words. “Oh, my sweet girl. She was never right about you. You’ve been nothing, but great for the Coven. Y/n learned so much from you, so did the other girls. Not only are you a powerful witch, but you’re also their role model, an example of goodness and justice. You formed a family first and foremost”, she speaks confidently, eyeing her with a soft, compassionate gaze. Cordelia has always been like a daughter to her. She has watched her grow up unlike Fiona. And just unlike her, Myrtle assisted to so many changes in her, so much potential and strength. “I know you’re suffering, and so is Y/n. Her aura unleashes a shaky energy around the Coven. She’s unstable, just like you”
“Her powers are tied. They will never balance, until I’m gone. I’m holding her back. I’m keeping her for being the most powerful witch”, she sniffles and lightly shakes her head. She knew the consequences of guarding such a power, she knew that sooner or later she should have left her girls, you above all others. But she never would have imagined to have such a short time with you.
“Y/n isn’t ready to let go of you”, Myrtle quietly comments, averting her gaze from Cordelia.
Frowning, she adds, “I’m not ready, either”, she is frustrated, enraged even. It wasn’t fair. How scared she was of letting you down. How preoccupied she was of disappointing you. “I feel like I made so many bad decisions. I don’t trust myself anymore on what’s right and what’s wrong”, she sniffles, madly wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “I never told her I loved her to begin with. I failed to show her how much she truly means to me. And now, all I have left for her are some terrible news that will shatter her heart into pieces, her eyes flutter close for a moment and more tears stream down her face. "How can I do this to her?”
“Oh, my sweet child, Y/n knows”, Myrtle looks close to tears. “Haven’t you noticed the way she looks at you?”, she tries, moving closer to her. “She is neither blind nor naive. Don’t make the same mistake as your mother. Don’t underestimate her”, she says, both firmly and softly.
Cordelia’s heartbeat quickens, as she presses her lips together in order to suppress a sob.
“She knows you love her, and deep down you know she loves you too”
Cordelia sniffles after that comforting statement. She lifts her legs to the chest and wraps her shaky arms around them. Then she places her chin above her knees. She takes a deep breath, “I can accept the fact that I’m dying, what I cannot bear is the thought of her hating me for leaving her”
Myrtle chuckles softly at her silly concern. “Even under torture, Y/n could hate you. You know how stubborn that girl can be, and-”, she trails off when Cordelia’s eyes widen. Her posture stiffens, yet she lets go of her legs, leaping back.
“No”
“What’s happening?”, Myrtle promptly asks.
A terrible ache in her heart is what follows. She looks down at her hands, in shock. “No, no, no…”, she doesn’t feel dizzy when she gets up from the chair. Her concern increases. On the contrary, she feels better. “Where’s Y/N?”, she feels her blood run cold as she screams your name.
By looking into those frightened dark orbs of hers, Myrtle fears the worst. “Her room. Now”, she urges her, as both of them rush upstairs.
