#mod tim

mirror master ✨
That’s us!
Mirror Master and…
Evan.

CONSTANTINE
more like mirror Muppets. You are both a pair of morons.

mirror master ✨
Which muppets.
Beaker and Bunsen? Statler and Wardolf?

CONSTANTINE
dick and balls.

mirror master ✨
Muppets are serious business, Constantine.

Dr. Kirk Langstrom
I’d like to have sex one more time with my wife who stole my work and tried to take over Gotham 9 years ago. My body yearns for hers. The ultimate downside to finding “the one” is she may turn out to be evil and leave you wanting.

PLASTIC MAN
i also choose this guy’s evil wife

commander cold
just in a good mood
and NOTHING CAN RUIN IT
wait hold on
[commander cold has muted The Flash!, Godspeed, capt. cold, flash freeze, IMPULSE , the sexier flash, kid flash, and Iris West. ]
NOTHING CAN RUIN IT!

commander cold
yo dude are you good

ZOOM
I know what’s going on here. I know what’s going on here. Okay? I do. And if you want me to wander back to the Keystone Police Department to spill the beans…

I’m the only one out of the loop, it would seem… and if we check the Clown’s files here— I don’t NEED to open the folder, because I know what’s in there. It’s a big ol’ CREAM PIE, GANG. It’s a CLOWN TOY. HELLO!! Something used to cause inconvenience, not kill! A little bit of trivia that I happen to know about The Clown as a rogue. That kind of little tidbit would serve me well in most criminal profiling cases, unless it had been RIGGED FROM THE BEGINNING!

Oh, I’ve only just BEGUN to pull the thread on this sweater, friends. You would THINK in a case where there are only TWO possible correct choices, that one would STUMBLE INTO the right answer every so often, wouldn’t you? In fact, the probability of a rogue who doesn’t kill NEVER having a gun in a circus is a STATISTICAL WONDER, and yet, HERE WE ARE.

Introduced at the top as the best criminal profiler in Keystone City, what do you think that means? Icarus, flying too close to the sun. But it seems Daedalus, our little master crafter over here, had some wax wings of his own, didn’t he? Wanted to see his son fall. Fall from the sky. Oh, how CLOSE TO THE SUN he flew!

Well I’m NOT HAVING IT. I solved your labyrinth, puzzle master! The minotaur‘s escaped and you’re gonna get the horns, buddy!

IIIIII CANNNNNNOOOOOTTTT WIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN

commander cold
so you’re coping well

David Singh
[ David hears it. And he kneels over and spots Marco. And he gives him an ice cold stare. ]

…Weather Wizard.

weather wizard.
[ nervous smiling emoji ]

how’s the honeymoon?

pied piper
we haven’t had time for a honeymoon yet.

[ hartley says, as if nothing is wrong. ]

David Singh
We’re still in the planning stages. Will you come out from under the desk?

weather wizard.
i’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you.

David Singh
Come out from the desk.

weather wizard.
would it help if i stole shit?

David Singh
NO!

weather wizard.
you know, to make it look less like he’s cavorting with the enemy.

David Singh
It would NOT help one bit!
I can’t believe out of EVERYTHING you could say to me, you’d suggest MORE CRIME!

weather wizard.
it’s all i got, boss.

Happy Anniversary! DCGCEU Joker was killed a year ago today!

pied piper
well. i’m out of ideas.

capt. cold
okay. hold on. team huddle.

pied piper
why are we huddling

capt. cold
piper. get in here.

[ huddle. ]

JAMES JESSE
…so. sad about your boyfriend. but you’ll probably get another.

capt. cold
i’m going to strangle you.

commander cold
please don’t kick me in the crotch, i just got lasers installed

pied piper
you hate barry.
you literally find joy in his misery.

THE TRICKSTER
i don’t HATE barry.
i just find it funny when he cries.

pied piper
well he does do that a lot…

THE TRICKSTER
he’s the funniest guy i know… [ emoji of solid snake saluting ]

The Flash!
[ a gif of Snoopy dog laying his head on the floor with his bottom up and the words “so bored…” over his head ]

JAMES JESSE
SLUT.

The Flash!
Wh
What??

BOOSTER GOLD
paddle
spank him to death.

Guy Gardner
…. ew?

BOOSTER GOLD
normally.

Guy Gardner
what does that even mean.
how do you spank someone normally

BOOSTER GOLD
just like beat his ass whatever fuck off

JAMES JESSE
sweet dreams.

pied piper
don’t let the rats bite.

JAMES JESSE
…
[ Concerned looking away emoji. ]

pied piper
[ sleeping emoji ]