I’ve worked outside the home, basically with a career, even while I considered myself a homemaker. A homemaker is all I’ve wanted to be since I was a very little girl. I can’t remember a time in my life I didn’t want to be a woman in her home. I did the career thing in my 20s. It wasn’t without its profit, but it took me close to 4 years after I came home to re-buy into homemaking, to understand it as a glorious work instead of feeling put upon. It took me that long to start viewing it as my vocation.
Never once in my ‘career’ did I feel the invisible connection with women of the past. Not once did I feel rooted. Not once did I–in a Christian way, not a pagan way–feel tied to my ancestors, to the earth, to myself. I always felt like I was pushing against my purpose, even if I couldn’t put it into words.
Now, when I cook, clean, do laundry, hug my husband, make our lunches, beautify my home, run errands, bake, laugh with my sisters, share coffee with my Mom, spoil my nieces and nephews, and enjoy my home I feel connected. Hundreds of women, back to the dawn of time, related and unrelated, have done this exact same work. Hundreds of women have passed down wisdom to me. Hundreds of women have kneaded bread, scrubbed clothes, pondered over dinner, sought to manage a budget, grown flowers, and raised up the next generation while honoring the last. Women after women have done this work. I feel like I’ve found my place, my sisterhood, my purpose. Not outside the home, but in it. Not in loudly demanding everyone’s attention, but in quiet mornings set straight and ready for the day, long lingering breakfasts, grilling in our backyard, our stories, our life. Not in focuing on me, but in focusing on him and us. It’s simple. It’s incredibly hard. It’s challenging. It’s calm. Look back, down the line of women, going back to the beginning, there do I see my mothers, my sisters, my kin. And here, in my home, is where I belong.
Great message! You’re right…that genetic and historic connection is gone in the workforce, severed and sterile. But it can be felt so, so strongly in caring or providing for family. This is a beautiful point.
I’ve wanted to be a homemaker for years and now that I’m here… I’m struggling. There’s a loneliness and adaption that I’m hoping to someday soon overcome. The month before my son was born when I was alone, barefoot and pregnant (literally), keeping my home running, I felt… great. Everyday I felt accomplished. More so than I ever did working. I was happy, my husband was happy, I was creating life. These past 6 weeks with my son earthside has been challenging. For me, my marriage, though mainly I think for my mental health and self-worth. I hope to get back to my hearts desire someday soon, and remember why I chose this life. The satisfaction I received from a day of keeping a well-maintained home full of love and joy. I’m trying my best to give myself grace. Everything takes its own time.
