Windenburg Bachelor(more pictures available on my website)
Type: Residential – (2 br, 2 ba)
Designed for: Windenburg
Lot Size: 40×30
Value:$107,396
A 2 br, 2 ba home with a single man and his dog in mind. Features a large fenced backyard, garage, office/den, guest bedroom, and master suite. No CC but includes hidden objects, turn on bb.moveobjects when placing.
I have been in this community since 2013, and in that time I’ve shared a lot of private stuff with you guys. My parent’s separation and divorce, my sister’s neglect of our mother and the divide it caused between the two of us, our subsequent reconciliation and the renewal of our friendship, the sudden death of my best (dog) friend, my father’s marriage to a woman who hates me, my struggle to deal with the birth of their daughter, etc. But I’ve never talked to anyone about this, and I need some advice.
Please do not read below if you are triggered by the discussion of sexual assault. It’s not graphic or explicit or anything like that, but I would hate to upset someone. Also, I kindly request that if you want to reply please avoid guilting, shaming, or lecturing me. I do enough of that all by myself. Thank you.
I apologize for not replying to each of you individually like you deserve, but it’s just making me too emotional. However, I have read your comments over and over again, and I promise you that I cherish each and every one of them. I initially tagged this post as one to delete, but I will never. Sharing this story after hiding it from the world for so long was hard as hell, but now that I’ve done it I feel better. Lighter and more solid, if that makes sense. Less broken. Thank you guys for giving me a safe place to unload. I will forever appreciate your support.
What amazes me most is that y’all knew exactly what I was worrying about despite me not asking about it outright. But anyway, I am so relieved that you don’t think I owe him (or anybody) an explanation, at least not yet. Perhaps someday, if I ever find a serious partner, I will reconsider, but I was afraid that I was being deceptive or even dishonest by not telling him about my past. I’m glad that you guys don’t see it that way.
Also, in regards to your suggestions about going slow… I desperately needed to hear that. Not that I was planning on jumping into bed with him tomorrow (obviously, lol), but I think that’s really sage advice, to take my time, and from here on out I fully intend to move at my own pace and no faster. As y’all said, if he’s worth it, he will be patient. *fingers crossed*
P.S. Shutting up about this now. Again, my apologies for all the personal spam this week.
@sweetpyxels Good men ARE hard to find. That’s so true. I am still not convinced that he’s a good person, but then again I barely know him. I guess that’s what dating is all about. Well, that, and it’s also sorta fun? :D
@drawing-way-outside-the-lines That’s a great idea about bringing him lunch! Heaven knows he’s brought me food often enough this past week, lol. Definitely going to try that. Thank you so much for the suggestion. ♥ Also, do you think he was fishing? I never considered that before… Hm, now that you mention it, I think he must have been. Oh god, I am terrible at the whole flirting thing, haha.
@gruesim *tackle hugs* I wish I was more like you! <3 I am a basket case of emotions, and all too often I let my heart control my decisions without letting my brain weigh in first. I did attempt to tell him that I liked him, but he didn’t seem to believe me. He seemed to think that I was just being nice.
@hunterthewriterworld You have no idea how much I appreciate you saying that you don’t mind my updates! Sharing with you guys has been such a huge comfort to me. Y’all make me feel like less of a fool, and your advice has truly been a godsend. <3
@owly-sims Owly! Thank you so much for your encouragement! I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful it is to have the support of my friends. *hugs*
@simnights ROFL! “…until the wedding.” Oh god, no. No, no, no. As I’ve said from the beginning, this man is out of my league. I am enjoying the flirting and kissing, but for all I know he has five kids, an evil ex-wife, and girlfriends in five other states. :P But for real, thank you for your support. I appreciate it so much.
@ktarsims True words of wisdom. <3 But yeah, I am trying very, very hard to have no expectations, and I think (so far) I am succeeding. The chemistry that we have together is fun, but as for a relationship that can wait. Also, thank you for the reminder about not letting him pressure me. I am going to do my best to take thing slow, and I hope he will respect that.
@iamg-knee :D LOL, thank you! I feel a tad guilty posting about a real life person like this, but not guilty enough to stop. XD So glad you don’t mind all the non sims content! ♥
@technicallyswagpizza OMG, that is an awesome Valentine’s card! What a way to start a relationship, I love it! <3 I didn’t think this guy had even really seen/noticed me until he gave me that note on Valentine’s Day, and even then I thought maybe he was just being nice. I never liked the holiday much before, but is it too cheesy to admit that I sorta love it now? :D
@lilidebergerac I seriously hadn’t even considered that he was fishing with his comment about never having been rejected for a kiss before, but once y’all said that it was like a lightbulb moment. I am soooo not suited for this flirting thing. XD In regards to telling him how good he smells, I felt like such a fool, but considering the events that have unfolded since it does seem like he took it okay. *blush*
@martinessimblr I don’t like having the power, rofl! But thank you again for being so supportive and giving me such excellent advice. <3 I’d be so totally lost without you guys, sad as that sounds. (I haven’t told any of my IRL friends about this, as it could get back to my family and/or my boss. Neither of whom would approve.)
@simsaralove Thank you! I feel guilty about sharing so much non sims stuff on here, but it’s been incredibly therapeutic, if that makes sense. I don’t feel so confused and alone after talking to you guys about this stuff. <3
@amuhav A romcom, haha! But I hope you’re right that he is a genuine guy. It’s just… I’m still not sure what he sees in me. I’ve spent so much of my life being ignored by (and ignoring) the opposite sex. His attention is just so foreign to me!
@batsheba My life has been devoid of (real life) romance for the past ten years, which is part of the reason why I’m so nervous around him. I don’t know how to act, or what to say, or anything. I’m absolutely terrified of embarrassing myself. But I’ll try to keep y’all updated, for sure. You guys are a blessing, and I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate your support in particular. Just, thank you. ♥
@asimplekindoflifestyle Y’all are going to make me cry! ;-; That’s so sweet of you! Thank you for caring. It honestly means the world to me. <3
@remysims Remy! *hugs* It’s so good to see you here! I can’t stop laughing at “the male species likes hearing how good they smell.” LMAO, you called that one, bahaha. I thought I’d fucked it up, but considering what happened Friday (he kissed me again *blush*) he must have taken it the right way. :D
@mysimsloveaffair I’m so glad that you don’t mind these posts! Truly. It’s awesome to have someplace to share my experiences, but what’s even more amazing is having friends who are willing to not only put up with it but support and encourage me. Just… thank you so, so much. *hugs*
@muses-circle Scary seems like an understatement, but you’re right. I can’t allow my fears to rule my life, and even though I’m terrified of getting hurt I’ll regret it if I don’t try. As usual, you have the best advice. Thank you. ♥♥♥
@jones7659 I can’t believe you daughter is fifteen now! That’s so awesome! :D Also, how sweet that you found your husband without having to wade through a bunch of losers and players first. Can’t say that I’m not jealous, lol. But yeah, life is short, and it only gets shorter. Even if this turns out to be nothing, at least I got to have some fun. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. ♥
@muses-circle Reply #1: You called me adorable, and now I can’t stop blushing. XD But really, I am so grateful for your support. You’re right, too. I should try not to be so concerned about getting in over my head with this guy. He’s cool, and he seems to like me in spite of myself. That’s what matters here, and I need to stop psyching myself out wondering what he could possibly see in me. Although I still don’t know what he could possibly see in me. Regardless, I am going to try. Today was a snow day here so I didn’t have work, but if I make it into the office tomorrow I might go visit him again. Maybe. I don’t want to seem desperate, though, so maybe not. Why is this so hard?! XD
@muses-circle Reply #2: *hugs back* How are you so wonderful?! ;-; I’m glad he apologized, but at the same time it really wasn’t necessary. I was giggling and flirting and enjoying his attention… right up until he almost kissed me. But he truly didn’t do anything wrong. I should not have encouraged him when I wasn’t sure how I felt about the situation. I think that’s why it was so freakin’ awkward.
@amuhav Yeah, going in casual is precisely how I want to approach it, but I’m terrified of falling for a person who doesn’t feel the same way about me. I don’t handle rejection well, lol. Still, that’s no reason to avoid him, right? I mean, I can’t let my fears dictate my decisions. Also, you make an excellent point about “hot” people, one that I hadn’t considered before. I still get the feeling that he’s interested in me more for sex than a relationship, but the fact that he’s so incredibly attractive may be coloring my perceptions. And that’s not fair. Anyway, thank you for replying! *hugs*
@opsims I laughed so hard at your comment that I think I actually snorted. Out loud. In public. But it was so worth it, ROFL! Thank you for the laugh! :D
@hunterthewriterworld I have been beating myself up about that (almost) kiss practically since the moment it happened. I feel like the world’s biggest loser. I mean, what are the odds that a man will try to kiss the same person twice? It’s like that old proverb, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” He is not a fool, so… sigh. But anyway, your comments have been such a comfort to me. Thank you for your kindness. <3
@pudding-parade Oh, how I wish that were true! But he did see it as a straight up, flat out rejection. I’m sure of it. :( Nevertheless, I am still holding on to a faint glimmer of hope. Like you said, he may have noticed how nervous I was and realized that things were just moving too quickly for me. I hope so anyway. And yes, the fact that we were just hanging out in his office, that (almost) kiss took me by complete surprise! Admittedly he kept flirting and inching closer to me, but I didn’t think he’d risk something as intimate as a first kiss when we could have been interrupted at any moment.
@sweetpyxels You are amazing. Thank you so much for your advice. Half of me wishes that he would ask me out on a “proper” date (not just office lunches, lol), but the other half of my brain thinks that that would be a huge mistake. I’m not sure I’m even allowed to date him, and I don’t want to lose my job. (I mean, I don’t think there are any rules against it, but my boss is very, very strict and very, very old-fashioned.) But more than that, what if I actually fall for him? A little flirting is easy to shrug off, but a real date? Yikes. Anyway, thanks for listening to me. I really appreciate it!
@wannabecatwriter *hugs* You are the sweetest person! You always say something that makes me feel so much better. I probably shouldn’t be glad about this, but you telling me that my situation is relatable… I don’t feel so alone now. So thank you. ♥
@nornities Thank you. I really, really appreciate your advice. I must admit that it did seem incredibly forward of him to try and kiss me in that situation, and it does concern me. As you mentioned, he’s probably used to getting exactly what he wants, especially regarding women, and that does not bode well. I will have to keep it in mind for sure. I don’t want a broken heart.
@mysimsloveaffair Aw! *blush* To be fair, he asked me to stop by. I almost didn’t, but I wanted to see him again so badly. I am my own worst enemy, lol.
@simlicious You give the best advice! So thoughtful and supportive and kind. Thank you. ♥ I’m glad that you think it was okay for me to take a step back. That makes me feel a bit better, although I must confess that I am still beating myself up about it and wondering what it would be like to kiss him. I am such a mess, lol. Also, your comment about the importance of sharing my feelings and insecurities really resonated with me. I just… I don’t know how. I don’t want him to get the idea that I’m expecting anything serious to come out of this, but he deserves to know that I’m not exactly an easy person to date. :/
@lilidebergerac I am so flattered! Thank you! I felt anything but cute after that (almost) kiss though. He just looked so ashamed and embarrassed. It was mortifying. I hope tries again someday, but I don’t think that he will. I’m sure this man has his choice of women, so why would he bother chasing the one who flirts with him and then rejects him for no good reason? :( :( :( I need a real life time machine, lol.
@curmudgeonness Aw, Rob! ;-; You’re too sweet! Thank you so, so much for your comment. I cherish our friendship (you’re one of my longest/oldest mutuals on here), and your support means the world to me. But yeah, you’re right. I’m not in a rush, but it does make me wonder if perhaps he is. And if so, why? Ugh, now I’m back to questioning his intentions again. When did life become so damn complicated. XD
@batsheba Okay, what an awesome word!!! As for asking him out, though, please don’t think less of me, but I’m not sure I have the courage to do it. What if he says no? D: But I will think about it. Anyway, thanks again for the encouragement. You are amazing. <3
@ktarsims I kind of wish that I was okay with just having a fling because this guy would be the perfect person for it, but honestly I don’t think that I am? I’m not saying that I need this to turn into something serious, but I don’t want just no-strings-attached sex either. But yes, I agree with you that if he pushes my limits and oversteps my boundaries and refuses to be patient, then he’s not worth it. Also, your “friend” sounds awful! It’s not fair that he put you in such a difficult position.
Replies below the cut, but first I just want to say thank you all so, so, SO much for your advice and support. I can’t even begin to express how much it means to me. I know this sounds corny as hell, but I would be lost without you guys.
@wannabecatwriter I think he seems pretty cool too, but that’s the problem, lol. I don’t know why such a cool guy would flirt with me of all people, especially when there are far more attractive women in our building. But thank you for the encouragement! It means a lot to me.
@hunterthewriterworld Thank you so much for the great advice. What you said about enjoying/exploring life is exactly what I needed to hear. All too often my anxiety takes over and tells me to hide from new experiences, but I made a promise to myself that this year I’d try to break out of my comfort zone. After all, what’s life without a little adventure? :D
@sweetpyxels I completely agree. It is tricky. I just don’t want to get hurt, and I haven’t dated in so long that I’m scared of reading him/the situation incorrectly. I was burned by some bad experiences when I was younger, and I’d since resigned myself to spinsterhood with my sims for company. XD I don’t know what his intentions are, but either way I think you are right. I should give it another date (if he shows any interest) before making a decision. Thanks for your response! ♥
@hula-zombie Very true! I love how phrased it too. :D Boundaries are important, but I think I’m going to just go with the flow and “lean into it” as you so brilliantly put it. Thank you for the comment. I really appreciate it! *hugs*
@suratan-zir I told you this already, but I just want to thank you again. Your words helped me see past my own insecurities, and I am so grateful to you for reaching out. *hugs*
@heavensims Thank you so, so much, heaven! ;-; The compliment is undeserved, but it means the world to me that you think so. I’m not sure if it’s going to end up being anything at all, but I’m genuinely touched by your support. Thank you again. <3
@nectar-cellar Surprisingly, I do enjoy the flirting, lol! I’ve never flirted much before, but I am beginning to see what the appeal is. :D But yes, your advice is absolutely on point. If he’s just looking for a fling, I will have to decide whether I am okay with that, and as you so aptly said honor my standards. I have a very, very bad habit of not being able to say no to people, mostly in terms of family obligations and work related things, but it’s gotten me into trouble in other areas of my life before as well. So definitely something I need to keep in mind. Thanks for the comment!
@simlicious Awesome advice, thank you so much for sharing! ♥ I did not realize that about Ryan Reynolds, but that’s an excellent point. The “judging a book by its cover” thing goes both ways, and I am definitely guilty of judging this man based on his appearance. And that’s just as unfair as him judging me. But yeah, I am going to try to follow your wise words and just enjoy the moment. And try not to stress about it too much, lol. Thanks again for the comment!
@technicallyswagpizza Haha! Either the start of a cheesy Christmas movie or the beginning of ones of those tragic made-for-TV horror movies. :P But you’re right. I don’t want to regret that I never tried. Thanks for your support. ♥
@drawing-way-outside-the-lines Absolutely. So, so true. Thank you for reminding me of that. All too often I let my anxiety take over my brain and drown out the big picture, but I need to remember to live for today. I really appreciate your encouragement. *hugs*
@batsheba Thank you, batsheba! Trying not to blush as I type this, but I think I am going to see what happens with him. :) (Also, I’m so happy that you’re around simblr again/still! You’ve always been such a bright spot in the community for me, and I’m so glad you’re here. *sends all the hugs*)
@lilidebergerac I’ve never succeeded at the whole having-fun-with-no-strings-attached thing either, but then again I didn’t go into those relationships with that as my frame of mind. But your advice is spot on. I need to figure out what I want/expect so that I don’t get too attached. Anyway, thank you very much for your response! You’ve given me a lot to think about.
@mysimsloveaffair Aw, thank you! I’m happy that it made you smile. :) I thought it was super sweet of him to leave me that note, lol. And so totally unexpected! But yeah, “just have fun” sounds like a good mantra for me. Anyway, I appreciate your advice. It means a lot to me!
@ktarsims You’ve given me so much to think about! Thank you so much for replying! I will have to keep all that in mind, for sure. It could get uncomfortable I suppose, but then again we’re not coworkers so it might be okay. But yeah, going to watch out for those red flags. Thanks again for your wonderful input! ♥
@pudding-parade I was so surprised by that note! I’m glad you think it’s sweet and not, like, the hallmark of a player or something, lol. But anyway, testing the waters is a great way to look at it. I do think that I will just go with the flow for now and try to enjoy myself. The attention is very flattering, so I may as well have fun with it. :D
@martinessimblr Martine! *hugs* LOL about Jim and Pam. What a comparison, haha! :D But thank you so much for the encouragement. It means a lot to me.
@sweetdevil-sims Very true! I think that the pacing is going to be sorta critical. Like, if he pushes for too much too soon, well then I will know what he is after, lol. And also, major amen to your safety comment! I doubt it will go that far (because really, he’s so far out of my league…), but even so it’s important to keep it in mind. Thanks for the reply!
The Finchwick Picture House serves as a lounge and movie theatre. Features include a ticket booth, bar, performance stage, and arcade. No CC, turn on bb.moveobjects cheat before placing.
Note:I wanted to build a movie theatre that has a small-town feel while fitting in with the cottage style, Henford-on-Bagley architecture. I hope I accomplished that!
A cozy cottage-style restaurant, serving both meat and vegetarian versions of various Cottage Living selections. No cc, turn on bb.moveobjects cheat before placing! * uses the new Blooming Rooms kit*
This Bed & Breakfast was built directly across Cobblebottom Street from Finchwick’s garden walkways In Henford On Bagley, making it the ideal place for a botanic-minded Sim to come in, enjoy a bite to eat, and perhaps a stay in one of the upstairs rooms. No CC, turn on bb.moveobjects before placing.
