“Pisces”, a commission for a dear friend

THE PLANETS #2 NEPTUNE (IN THE HOUSES)

Another planetary personal for the people of the world. Time to set the record straight about Neptune and how this mysterious mf gets to work.

First: Neptune is not actually that mysterious. For some reason everyone decided just because they couldn’t wrap their minds around this wild planet they’d just play it out as confusing and delusional and inexplicable and leave it at that. Not true. No mind-meld necessary to wrap it around big blue.

You just gotta take Neptune in the context of the other two Far Out celestials (Uranus and Pluto). Together, the Transcendental Crew form a whole process: Uranus introduces and initiates a serious change,Neptune clears out all the old-ass bullshit and kicks your shit up to a new level, and Pluto drags your ass though, wraps that shit up, and organizes your debut.

The best way to think about the Transcendentals’ process is to think about butterflies. When those little caterpillar babies decide they’re ready to get their life together and leave crawling in the past, they chrysalis their little asses up and get to changing (Uranus). Now - as all you Science buffs know - when baby caterpillar is in the hole, it releases some enzymes that liquify its whole mf-ing body into some deliciously nutritious goop, and from there, the butterfly body starts forming (Neptune). Then, that caterpillar isn’t even a damn caterpillar anymore it’s reformed into fucking butterfly, so it’s time to break though, and start living life as a radiant Rhopalocera (Pluto). Gross but also useful and nice. Science.

Neptune is the goop - it’s dissolving basic ass shit and giving you the opportunity to take it to the next level. This is where the tropes of dissolution and frustration and confusion come in. But listen: just because it’s a little weird does not mean this process needs to be a complete mess. The shit only becomes confusing if you allow Neptune’s dank energy to dissolve your entire sense of self, instead of just dissolving your worn-out patterns of behavior and ideas about yourself. Get a fucking grip on yourself - even those little butterflies keep their caterpillar memories, they don’t start acting brand new. If you want to take full advantage of Neptune energy: you have to know where you’re headed. Neptune is the penultimate planet for a reason - no wayyou should be fucking with this dank energy if you don’t already have a seriously developed understanding of yourself. You do not just throw yourself into a serious change and hope for the best. You go into that shit with a clear goal in mind and a clear grip on yourself so you don’t get lost in the sauce.

Neptune hangs tough with Pisces, and Pisces is the very last baby in the Zodiac cycle. That isn’t some damn coincidence. Neptune helps you loosen your death grip on the past so you can change in a big way - the biggest way. Without Neptune’s influence, we’d never be able to c'est la vie to the old shit and let Aries get going with the next shit.

In short: Neptune cuts the gunk and gets you ready to be part of something bigger - where Neptune lands shows you where you’re looking to reform your identity and give your life a larger purpose.

As always, particulars for the party people:

NEPTUNE IN THE FIRST (1) when they got a hold of themselves these babies can turn into the best representatives to ever live - they pick an ideal or a role or a cause and they live that shit out better than anyone else. When they’re a total fucking mess: writing the book on escapism, total delusional, back away slowly cause they’re not even close to reality.

NEPTUNE IN THE SECOND (2) when they got a hold on themselves these babies own their past and turn into mfing brilliant leaders - they see social and philosophaical issues clearly and push for newer, better shit. When they’re a total fucking mess: misguided idealogies, totally destructive, zero discernment.

NEPTUNE IN THE THIRD (3) when they get a hold on themselves these babies have constructive, clear minds that turn them into perceptive-ass geniuses who understand how broad social issues affect their enviornment and everyone around them. When they’re a total fucking mess: distorted perspective, can’t see through the surface level shit around them, 100% caught up.

NEPTUNE IN THE FOURTH (4) when they got a hold on themselves these babies respect their urge to get rid of all the fake-ass shit in their life and transform into the purest bitches with deep values and serious self-awareness. When they’re a total fucking mess: blows up their entire sense of self, feels purposeless, no fucking clue how to connect to themselves.

NEPTUNE IN THE FIFTH (5) when they get a hold on themselves these babies set some damn goals and turn into the most charming, awe inspiring, next-level experience seeking bitches out here. When they’re a total fucking mess: never satisfied, second guessing every decision they’re ever made, caught up in the fake shit.

NEPTUNE IN THE SIXTH (6) when they get a hold on themselves these babies use their discernment to become masters of transformation - they understand change on the deepest level and find meaning in every experience, good or bad. When they’re a complete fucking mess: doing way too much, not thinking anything through, alienating everyone around them.

NEPTUNE IN THE SEVENTH (7) when they get a hold on themselves these babies can experience serious personaltransformation in any and every relationship - they use relationships to redefine themselves and deepen their identity. When they’re a complete fucking mess: the biggest victims to ever live, never taken accountability for a single choice they’ve ever made, actuallybuff from convincing themselves they need to carry all the burdens of the world.

NEPTUNE IN THE EIGHTH (8) when they get a hold on themselves these babies understand groups better than anyone else - being part of a solid crew turns these babies into social powerhouses, they dedicate themselves 100% to collective success. When they’re a complete fucking mess: can’t work through a single relationship issue, total unstable, drunk on power or a complete doormat.

NEPTUNE IN THE NINTH (9) when they get a hold on themselves these babies are turn into some wise as fuck mfs - they find symbolism and deeper meaning in everything, and they got a mind to create all kinds of poetic, artistic shit. When they’re a complete fucking mess: extreme idealism means they can’t accept reality, complete and total loss of self.

NEPTUNE IN THE TENTH (10) when they get a hold on themselves these babies develop some transcendent values and principles, this turns them into people who are totally down for collective life - groups, relationships, every day living - they set an example of how to live in community better than anyone else. When they’re a complete fucking mess: serious martyrs, railroaded by collective energy, sense of self level 0.

NEPTUNE IN THE ELEVENTH (11) when they get a hold on themselves these babies are destroying social limitations and worn-out traditions - they turn into bad-ass crusaders who push their crew in newer, better directions. When they’re a complete fucking mess: unrealistic expections, hates anything that feels slow, lonely af cause they left everyone behind.

NEPTUNE IN THE TWELFTH (12) when they get a hold on themselves these babies are straight up dissolving all their karma, transforming into a completely different person with a squeaky-clean subconscious and a shit ton of new ideas for society. When they’re a complete fucking mess: totally intoxicated by dreams, can’t function in the real world.

Happy charting, bitches.

XO BULLSHIT FREE ASTROLOGY