I was Keanu Reeves’ sister, and when we were little, a nefarious organization kidnapped him and erased his butt with the pencil from SpongeBob. Shortly after, he was kidnapped yet again and made into an assassin. I saw him as my long lost brother for many years. We finally saw each other again at middle age during a military siege, and I recognized him only from his lack of a butt. He had a weird mesh black thong that he liked to wiggle around, like the “butt dance” from IASIP. I woke up frightened and in a cold sweat.
