#no hesitation
in da club
Listen this might come off as completely feral but I have been cruising the fgo train for a bit and have thoughts.
What if Manon met a her that was her complete opposite. Someone who grew up in love and joy and comfort and knew how to love properly people from the day she was born. Someone who choice to be the monster she tried to tell herself she was. Someone who grew to be consumed by hate.
Our Manon grew to learn about love, that she was only a monster because she was made to be, not because she was born or choice to be, that she does love unconditionally but had to keep it in to make sure she and the people loved didn’t get hurt. And she does love, so much that when she finally gets a chance to she’s confused as hell on how to act on it, how to even acknowledge it.
And imagining she meets a version of her that knew how to. That knew how to tell people that she loves them, that they matter more to her than she matters to herself. And then she destroyed it. Somehow saw the thing Manon has been trying to understand her whole life and deemed it not worthy, of being weak and ugly and not worth anything.
Can you imagine how pissed our Manon would be? How she has learned that love is the only thing that keeps the world alive and there’s a version of her that would dare to call it weak?
And imagining the thirteen in that other bad au with bad Manon? Good au thirteen, who have loved Manon so fiercely for more than a century, that have stood by her no matter how hard and how dangerous it was? That loved her so much,so wholly, that they gave up the chance to see the wastes, the home that they have only dreamed of?
Imagine them but in the bad au they hate Manon, they hate her because they fear her, hate her for the same reason our Manon hates her. And they hate her even more because for all their love, all the sacrifices, she became the Monster, she chooses the monster over them.
You are caught in a vicious cycle. You are hesitant because you are not used to things going your way. And things will never go your way because you remain hesitant. You see what you want, become hesitant, and the door of opportunity closes. It happens again.And again. And again. With each choice towards inaction, you reject yourself a little more.
