#roleplaying

I’ve been talking to DevonandMark more regularly on IRC. Some of the other people have faded away. Mark is still romantic as always and I enjoy our little role play adventures but Devon always gets me super aroused. I don’t know what it is about him but he can turn me on with just a few words. We don’t even role play together, just chat. I find myself thinking about him all the time. I just wish he was more available. I never know when I’ll run into him.

I’ve had some fun chats with Reddit people but they never stick around. Nothing seems to last there. :(

The whole party of adventurers

I don’t have anyone to rp with! >:P DO YOU WANT TO RP KEVEDD WITH ME? I can be both  Kevin or Edd & I can do it via IM or Tumblr OR EMAIL OH BOY.

Seriously. You can also RP with me.

dndsettingsinfo:

Gated Shrine [28 × 60]

sheppi-isometrics:

Think anti-heroes and villians are somehow more complex? Think again.

Let me start this rant with a personal anecdote. I have a character in a modern day supernatural system. He is a sweet, gentle, kind young man with a strong moral compass and huge aversion to violence. He rarely loses his temper and his speech is peppered with apologies. At the end of an emotional event, I mentioned how tired I was due to him being a draining character to play. Casually, off hand, someone scoffed and asked why. “All you have to do is be nice all the time.” 

Reader, I almost killed him.

I do not blame this individual for expressing this opinion. I’ve heard it a hundred times in a hundred different ways. “Superman is so much duller than Batman.” “I wish Harry wasn’t such a goody two-shoes.” “I just find heroes boring.” “Finn had no flaws so I didn’t care about him.” (It’s worth noting that usually women are spared this sort of reasoning, only because they’re either expected to be good and vilified if they’re not, or classed as a Mary Sue which is a whole other rant). Apart from what I believe is a fundamental characterisation of much of these characters, I think it also betrays a slightly toxic geek belief. 

Antiheroes often express their flaws in ways that impact others negatively, or glamorises them due to what we judge as ‘cool’.  They’ll push others away, they’ll lose their tempers spectacularly, they’ll engage in self-destructive behaviour. Villains take this further, working against the common interest and going outside societal norms. These characters can be interesting! These can be cool ways to express character! However!

There’s a trend of dismissing characters with a good moral compass who don’t regularly have these traits as dull. As though being an asshole is the only way to be interesting. As though having schemes, plots or secret facets of misanthropy automatically makes a character complex. I often wonder if this is just due to a lack of understanding what can make a character tick.

Let’s examine Peter Parker for a minute, a character I’ve often seen dismissed in favour of his villains. On the surface, he seems happy-go-lucky, earnest, good and chipper. And he is all of these things. But to class him as ONLY these things due to his generally positive behaviour would be doing him a disservice. He struggles with anxiety, balancing his superhero and home life, and questioning his role in the world as well as shouldering a lot of responsibility and grief. I often find the true hero’s struggle fascinating. For villains, it can be easy to fall into evil due to personal pain. I find the struggle to continue to be good, and do good DESPITE personal pain just as complex and worthy of investment. 

And why it’s bullshit for all involved.

I am new to this hobby. I have been doing it about a year. When you put that in comparison to those who have been doing it for longer than I have been alive, perspective really starts to set in. Now, get a bunch of LARPers together, and within seconds stories will start to be exchanged. And why not? This is a hobby that connects people and has a range of experiences mixed up within it. Stories are our bread and butter.

 As people talk, certain names will come up more than others. Some are organisers of big fest events, some are players who have played a lot or played particularly memorable characters. Each may have certain stereotypes attached to them - charisma is usually the biggest one, but fighting prowess or a knack for narrative aren’t usually far behind. These things have made them well known as stories about them are exchanged and laughed about. In my view, this is relatively harmless. People do cool things, and others like to talk about them. Those who have more OC friends are more likely to be spoken about because, well, you talk about your friends more. 

 However, it can become a problem when due to these tales, the reputation of the player may precede them with attached expectations or demands. It can have an effect both on the listeners and the subject.

 Let’s talk about the impact on the listeners first.

Sometimes it can foster a real feeling of inadequacy. It can feel like they are excluded from certain groups. It can cause an amount of hero-worship which stifles social interaction. It can really make them lose sight of the fact everyone is a nerd in costume here and there really isn’t a sliding scale of coolness. 

On the other end of the spectrum, being the subject of this can be intensely awkward. Having people be scared to talk to you, or frightened to roleplay with you is never a good feeling. Additionally, to be reduced down to certain stereotypes can be frustrating and insulting, as can people treating the subject as if they have a level of familiarity they don’t. 

So, what can we do to combat this?

Talking about everyone’s achievements is always a good start. But mainly, I think a key part is remembering these known names are well, people. Just people. Treat them as such. 

Some unordered thoughts on how kit standards effect game and confidence.

So, it’s undoubtable that kit (by which in this specific post I’ll be meaning costume as opposed to set dressing) adds to a game. Whether it’s on a personal level and feeling like you’re finally embodying the character, or on a wider level where the world seems to come to life when you’re on a field surrounded by gorgeous fantasy dresses and doublets. Costume is a real labour of love for many, a show of skill and imagination. 

I love putting together costume, particularly finding all the little unique details that really add to characterisation. I’m a very visual person, and find it deeply satisfying when I feel I match up with the picture of the character I have in my head. And yet, costume is usually the greatest of my anxieties when it comes to playing games, no matter how much I admire it on other people.

I cannot make costume. This isn’t a ‘refusing to learn’ thing. This is a ‘I am a broke student with no time and a disability that affects their hands’ thing. I can’t commission gorgeous pieces. I tend to borrow kit or cobble something together out of a bunch of things purchased on eBay. This leads to a feeling of inadequacy on occasion. This is solely my problem to deal with.

That is, until game runners get involved. Every organiser of course, wants their game to look good. Setting out expected kit standards from the off is par for the course. It’s a frequent occurrence to see terms like ‘aspirational kit’. This is still completely fine. 

I believe when it starts crossing a line is when game runners begin to tell players that their kit is not good enough. Now, a lot of LARP runs on good faith. Faith that players will take their hits, follow their skills and other such mechanical effects that there’s no way to track. Similarly, there is no way of knowing quite how much effort went into a costume. A rather shoddy looking one could have taken weeks for a beginner to make, while a skilled maker could have knocked up a pretty doublet in an afternoon. Therefore, we must assume that the costume somebody shows up in is the best they could manage. Any negative comments are then instantly hurtful.

If somebody asks for constructive criticism, hints or tips, that’s a whole different kettle of fish. Improvement is great, and friends help friend out. Unwarranted comments however? Don’t be that guy. This also goes for make up, augments and physical additions. 

I think this boils down to trusting your players to do the best they can, in all things. 

An emotional and crucial part to many people’s games, it is also an element that has huge potential to go wrong. Let’s see about avoiding that.

Right, before we get started, I’d like to clear two things up. First of all, what exactly is ballgowning? Ballgowning is the roleplaying of a relationship with another character. It can be any sort of relationship! However, in this guide I will almost exclusively be referring to romantic relationships, though much of the advice is transferable.

The second point is a little bit more nebulous. A bit of this post will be referring to IC/OC divide. It will go on the assumption there is not OC romantic feelings present, or desired OC feelings. There’s a time and a place for writing a guide for roleplaying in a relationship, but right now is not it.

Let’s crack on. 

So, there can be two types of start to an IC relationship. One that is pre-arranged, or one that blossoms in play. We’ll chat a bit about both. 

When prearranging to play a romantic relationship, once you’ve established exactly what that relationship is, now is the time to work out boundaries. A rough list of questions to consider follows. There are definitely more to consider, but this is a good starting point:

- What physical boundaries do you both have? Are you happy to kiss, or is holding hands enough for you? Is cuddling a no-no? Etc.
- What limits to storylines would you like to have within the relationship? For instance, are you uninterested in exploring cheating, pregnancy or abuse? 
- How often would you like to check in with each other?
- Under what circumstances, if any, would you be unhappy roleplaying said relationship? Personally I would be unhappy roleplaying romance if my IC partner was drunk. 
- Decompression, what do you need from each other? Is hanging out OC something you would like, are debriefs and froth wanted or needed?
- If sex is an element of the relationship, is that something you’re okay discussing? What’s the protocol if it comes up in a field (pun unintended)?

Now, sometimes romance creeps up on your character unplanned. I suggest having the above conversation when you both go OC, which should be sooner rather than later. I must stress however, that you should always ask before initiating physical contact of any sort, but especially when acting familiar/romantic. You can ask in ways IC, but honestly, break your immersion if you have to. IC fun is not as important as OC health! 

Sometimes, as the relationship goes on, you might find it gets intense. It can be important to reinstate the character divide. I find hanging out with or chatting to the person in question OC is intensely helpful. Remind yourself that they are not their character, and IC relationships aren’t necessarily transferable.

This is especially important in relationships with a power imbalance. It can be useful to have an action that snaps you out of that headspace. For example, my OC boyfriend plays my IC deity and boyfriend in a game. When we go OC, I get a hug from him, then jokingly insult him, as that’s something my character would never do. I have a friend who after playing a sub-servant attendant, had tea made for her by the woman who had been playing her mistress in order to draw a clear distinction. 

I think, as ever, the real key is consistent communication. It doesn’t have to be verbal. It can come in messaging, Gdocs, emails. Chat about expectations, limits and boundaries. Chat about changing plotlines, new character influences and development. Chat about cool things you did and how great it was, or bits that aren’t working for you. Chat about things other than roleplay to realise you’re different people to your characters. Just like. Talk bros.

And hopefully some ways to deal with it.

Character bleed is quite a hard term to define because of how much it can encompass. Possibly the easiest way is to say it’s where the line between your character and you become blurred in one way or another. This post will be listing some, but not all types, and some tips to working around each.

Emotional Bleed.
Scenario: Your character had a really intense time and really felt their feelings. When you time out, you still feel upset/ecstatic/on edge etc.
Tips: This is a problem with a range of solutions. If you don’t mind the feelings and need to simply get them out, writing IC letters or fic can help immensely with venting on behalf of your characters. However, if the left over feelings aren’t helpful, it can help to do something you like or provides enjoyment PURELY for you. Films, music or conversation are good outlets.

Headspace bleed.
Scenario: You’ve timed out, but your thought patterns and reactions are still matching your character. You’re finding it hard to snap out of it.
Tips: I personally always find that spending time around friends on an OC level is helpful. People treating you as you, not your character tends to help with easing out of their thoughts. 

Defensive Bleed.
Scenario:Your character made some choices and stuck the hell by them. After time out, you find yourself getting prickly and defensive over discussion on if your character was right to do those things. You can’t quite admit your character may have flaws because they feel like you right now.
Tips: First of all, take a breath. Try to internalise the idea that criticism of your character isn’t criticism of you. Realise and assure yourself that people having opinions of your character is proof you made an impact. Unless people are being disrespectful and directly insulting, try not to snap at them for said negative opinions. Their opinions also may differ from their characters! 

Relationship Bleed.
Scenario:Your character had a terrifying villain, a dashing love interest or a protective bond with their child. Time out has happened and you’re still feeling emotions towards the players, or harbouring opinions of them based purely on character.
Tips: I find this one more straightforward to deal with than most. Go and talk to the player OC. Note the differences, see how they aren’t their character and that your relationship is not the same. This is doubly important for characters you have romantic or antagonistic links with. 

Adrenaline Bleed.
Scenario:The game was intense and frightening. You’ve timed out, but you still feel on edge, frightened or otherwise tense.
Tips:Go somewhere quiet, have a hot drink, have someone with you. Ask them to reassure you if it would help, that you’re safe. Ask GMs or Refs to show you the mechanics of what you were frightened of, see how unreal it all is. Apply hugs liberally. 

On a final note, self-care is important, and the above is only a guideline. There are many more varieties and solutions. After a game, always make sure you are fed and hydrated, sleep soon, and if you need help, ask for it. Take care of yourself.

Please, stop being a dick. 

So I have friends who do LARP photography. I met all of them through LARP, but not necessarily because they were taking photos. And I keep seeing patterns of entitled behaviour from players that really ought to stop. 

DISCLAIMER: While I have experience in photography, I don’t have experience in this particular area. So if any photographers want to appear and tell me I’m completely wrong, that’s fair. 

1. First of all, don’t pester them about when photographs are coming out. Look, I get it, I really do. You did some badass stuff and you want to see the photographic evidence of it. But this skill takes time, and it’s done for free usually. Be patient.
   
2. Don’t be rude if the photos aren’t what you expected. This goes for if there aren’t any pictures of your characters, if they’re in a colour scheme you didn’t expect, or something else. Again, they’re doing this for free. Don’t take that for granted.
3. Respect their rules. Many photographers will put up rules about how you can use their photos etc. Don’t break these, and apologise if you do so accidentally.
4. Ask, but don’t be rude. You want a portrait of yourself in cool kit? Awesome! Some photographers do that, some don’t. Try to find out beforehand if they’re comfortable with that. If they are, ask away in a moment where they seem to not be doing anything - before or after time in is often ideal. Those who don’t - don’t ask. If you can’t find out, ask respectfully, and take their answer instantly, don’t plead or argue. 
5. For the love of all that is holy, don’t feign friendship to get cool pictures. It won’t work, and it’s a dick move. 
6. Support them if you can. Don’t worry about this if you’re broke, but if you have the spare cash and enjoy their work, think about supporting their patreon or kickstarter etc. 
7. Credit their work. If you upload their images anywhere, make sure you credit them, always with their name and potentially with links back to the album, patreon or website.
8. Do not pose. If you see a camera pointing your way, during the game, do not pose, do not stare, carry on as you were. There’s exceptions to this rule if photographers are also present IC, for example, Regenesis.

Thoughts on gender wibbliness and roleplaying.

Yet another post started by getting a little real. Hey, I identify as nonbinary. For those of you that don’t know, this means I don’t particularly feel like a boy or girl. For me personally, it’s a mix of a whole bunch of genders, with me leaning heavily towards masculine feels. Now, with that out the way…

I technically started roleplaying at age eleven. I joined online forums and wrote collaborative stories. I still do this now. Many roleplayers prefer to write or play characters of the same gender as themselves. This was never me. I always wrote as a variety of genders, with no real preference between them. This transferred (pun intended) to LARP. 

I play boys, girls, and those of shadowy and indistinct genders. I never particularly worried about my ability to characterise according to gender because, well, there’s literally no common traits amongst people that share a gender. Only a few of my characters have been definitely trans however. Weirdly, I had a slight complex about this. Perhaps I was worried it was a bit too close to home in some ways. I’ve played even less characters who identify as nonbinary (though I have plans to change that in the near future). 

I’ve faced little issues from game organisers. Nobody has yet to tell me I have to play a different gender than the one I chose. Players however, are a different matter. Look pals. I get that I have features coded as feminine and it can be difficult. On an OC level, I use they pronouns.  So when I introduce myself as a boy in game, and then you misgender me with female pronouns, you’re fucking up on two separate levels. I’ve found my OC friends exceptionally helpful on this front, from openly correcting pronoun use, or making sure they react to my characters with the correct gender. What I mean for the latter half of that sentence is if my friend is playing a gay man, and I’m playing a man, they’re flirt just as shamelessly. These are the people that stop me from snapping at others. I do find myself wondering if this would be less of a problem if I generally presented more masculine - but fuck that. I shouldn’t have to appear any sort of way to have my identity or character respected.

Anyways, I think part of the reason I enjoy playing characters of a range of genders is to explore facets of my own identity and see how various situations interact with various genders. It’s also intensely satisfying to be in situations where I am fully acknowledged as my gender. It’s almost comforting as times.

I would like to do something empowering for my fellow nonbinary LARPers but I’m not sure what yet. I think speaking up about the issues faced is a good first step, so I guess that’s what this is. I’d also like to talk more with gender wibbly individuals about such things, and share stories of gender hijinks in roleplaying. 

So following on from the basic LARP glossary posted earlier, here’s one with a few more uncommon terms.

Abstraction Layer - Parts of the system or setting that are technically present but aren’t provided in game. Can be things like spending money, how you travel or even how parts of magic and science work.  

Battleboard - A particularly archaic type of system that requires you to inform refs of things like hits and mana used after every combat encounter. Rarely used nowadays.

Beard - Also called a lampshadeorhat. Something that is a flimsy IC excuse to cover something that is needed OC. 

Bimble - A casual way of getting from A to B. Also used to mean walking aimlessly, or just as a general scout. 

Cinnamon Roll - A character that is too sweet and innocent, and must be protected. A variant is Sinnamon Roll, which is a character who is less sweet and innocent, but still must be protected. 

Drum Rolling - Also known as pagga, this is a method of attack by using two weapons, one in each hand, very quickly. 

Encounter - The incidents that occur when roleplaying. Can be combat, or puzzles or other plot occurrences.

Faff- When you know on either an OC or IC level something big is about to happen, but it isn’t happening yet, so you have to wait around with a ton of empty time. Can also be due to players not getting ready quickly enough, or not making up their minds.

Fluff - Fun roleplay with no mechanical influence. 

Gamist - An approach to playing that aims primarily to win or advance your character mechanically. 

Gank - Also shiv,orshank. To stab, often in a sneaky or underhanded way.

Going Rogue - When a crew member goes wild, usually if they’re a murder monster and are having too much fun to come back to the crew room. Also used if an NPC goes off brief or ends up in an unexpected situation. 

Gone Native - An NPC is now acting as a player character. Not usually a good thing. 

Grenade - A powerful item with limited usage.

Grenade Syndrome - Being afraid to use said item due to it’s limited usage. 

Narrativist- An approach to playing that aims to make the best story. 

Player agency - Giving players significant choices and the ability to choose their path of their own accord. 

Plot Stick - If big things that effect wider plot are happening to you, congrats, you are being hit with the plot stick.

Powerblock- A group of players that are seen as dominating a game due to force of personality or skill. 

Railroading - When players are forced to follow a plot line, or forced to make certain choices. 

Sandbox - A fairly open world where players have a lot of freedom to explore both the setting and their characters,

Scamp - A character that causes trouble in a mischievous manner. 

Simulationist - An approach to playing or running where you set up the environment, and mainly see what happens. 

Tank - A character made for combat, usually with high combat or armour abilities. 

Toilet Mugging - Waiting outside the bathroom area with an aim to mug or stab those coming out as they won’t be expecting it. 

TPK- Total Party Kill. When the entire group of players dies at the same time.

What You See Is What You Get - A method of running a game where you represent things physically as much as possible rather than via description. 

Ramblings on why I like emotional game play, and when it can become stagnant. 

It’s no secret that I like to get emotional during roleplay. I often go into events with the goal of feeling something wonderful, or feeling something terrible. On an OC level, I don’t particularly care if my character succeeds or fails, what matters to me is the emotion they feel on the journey. As long as my character feels a thing, I count it as a win. 

Emotional investment can make even innocuous situations seem higher stakes. If I didn’t feel emotional certain things would have very little meaning. The desire to be loved influencing small actions, casual conversations with no mechanical benefit, longing gazes and so on and so forth. Then the bigger situations seem make or break, more all or nothing. 

Angst is one of my favourite things. I’ll put small emotional hooks into character backstory to be tugged on, or  I like bad things happening to my characters so I can experience their negative emotions. It’s the same catharsis that has influenced theatre since it’s conception, ranked up to ten. It’s a pretty healthy way of experiencing emotion imo. 

There are certain times though where the emotional angle can become stagnant. For instance if little character development or even character devolution occurs, and the angst/bad situation is the same, over and over again for an extended period with no change, sometimes it can be exhausting to deal with, and indeed, roleplay against. I think it’s simply that repetition can get dull, and repeating yourself isn’t fun after a certain number of times. 

I don’t begrudge those who just like LARP for rocking up and fighting, or to solve plot with character coming as a secondary concern. I just don’t understand it personally but then, I suck at both combat and puzzles. So I would say that.

1. In a small plastic cup with a childish design.  Result: “Aww, baby, did you miss again?”
2. In a measuring cup.  Result: “Now, little one, I’m not sure you held it quite as long as you could have done.”
   
3. In an ice-cube tray.  Result: “Talking back to Mommy just earned you two pee-pee cubes in your bedtime diaper.  Do you want to make it three?”
4. In her own cupped hands. “Sweetheart, couldn’t you catch it all?  Such a clumsy baby.”
5. In a funnel aimed at the regular potty.  “You keep missing the potty, little one, but this will help.”
6. On a washcloth which is then used to scrub her breasts in the bath.  “You know you like when it makes a nice lather, baby.”
7. Into a pile of every pair of big-girl panties she owns. “Every one of them wet again?  I guess you’d better start the laundry over once I’ve gotten you taped up in the diapers you clearly need.”