#pansexuals are valid
Just a reminder that we aren’t gatekeeping Pride.
I know it’s only April, but I just saw such a rancid take on Tiktok (and the person blocked me, woo!) That I need to vent somewhere.
The argument went “bi/pan/queer people with cishet partners shouldn’t bring those partners into queer spaces/Pride because it makes those spaces unsafe for lgbt folks.”
Which is a frankly awful take for many reasons.
First of all “makes a space unsafe” is not an identity. It is a behavior. And ANYONE who is making those spaces unsafe, regardless of their identity, *shouldn’t be there.* Whether they are a cishet man or a lesbian, if you are making people unsafe, you shouldn’t be there.
Secondly, it’s blatantly unenforceable. You can’t clock someone’s identity at the door. You don’t know if they are bi or trans or nonbinary. And no one should have to out themselves to a bouncer.
As a caveat to this, you also don’t ever know *why* someone might bring their cishet partner to pride. Whether that’s because this is an important part of their life they want to share with their partner, or they are disabled and need help managing their meds or mobility aides, or the partner is a designated driver. You just don’t know. So even if you did know they were cishet, maybe they have a “good reason” for being there.
So between it not solving an actual problem to not being enforceable, all this discourse does is create an EXTREMELY hostile environment for, well, bi/pan/queer folks especially. Always. We always get targeted for this kind of stuff.
But also anyone who might worry that *they* aren’t queer enough or not look queer enough. Trans folks who haven’t socially transitioned, non-binary folks who aren’t androgynous enough, ace and aro folks, people who are newly out- they see this rhetoric and think “Oh no. What is someone sees me and thinks I’m cishet? What if someone tells me I can’t be there? What if I don’t really belong?”
So we aren’t doing it. It’s shitty snd hostile and biphobic and exclusionary.
Everyone can come to pride.
Except cops.
Fuck cops.
