#patience turner

Request from @elsamc13

Summary: Takes place S13e10. Dean and Sam are trapped in Apocalypse World, as the Wayward Daughters do everything they can to rescue them.  Will their plan be enough?  Will the reader be able to move beyond her past with Dean in order to save him?  

Words: 4793

Warnings: Trauma, breakup, Bad Place, martyrdom

It had been a hell of a night.  I had been scouring the town for any explanation of the haunting at the bus depot but had come up with more suspects than answers.  Homeless people that had passed away at the bus station, accident victims of cars gone astray or out of control in the parking lot.  There had been a mountain of possibilities.  But the silvery, shrouded woman that had continually thrown me against, and eventually through, the wall of the bar across the street eventually narrowed my suspicions down to one.  

The woman had just turned twenty-one and had gone out to celebrate.  Only to end up being horrifically assaulted and left to die in the freezing cold behind the defunct busses that had been permanently parked.  The ghost’s strength was evident in the bruises that battered my face.  I looked into the rearview mirror, sighing and wincing as I attempted to clean myself up.  The cuts were fairly superficial, and I didn’t think I needed any stitches.  But the thin cut that tore across my bottom lip was still bleeding, coating my chin in the sticky liquid.  

My cell phone had been laying in the passenger seat and now, it made a low hum as it vibrated against the leather.  I hesitated before reaching for it, knowing that the last few dozen missed calls I had had were from him. The ex.  The almost was. The not anymore. The One that Got Away.  Whatever you preferred to call him.  And I didn’t relish the thought of seeing his name flash up on the screen yet again.  

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes tightly, ignoring the pain that shot through my right eyelid from the black eye that was beginning to flourish.  Turning the cell phone over in my hands, I opened my eyes as the screen lit up.  “Jody,” I whispered as I read the name of the missed call aloud.  

Quickly, I pressed Jody’s name, listening to the dead air as the call connected.  

“Y/N?” Jody’s frantic voice picked up almost immediately.  

“Hey, sorry I was finishing up a job.  What’s up?”  

“Oh, thank God you’re alright.”  The relief that flooded Jody’s voice stunned me.  

“Yeah, Jodes, why wouldn’t I be?”  

There was a beat of silence as my question went unanswered. “Y/N, I need you to come home. Now.”  

“Jody, what’s going on?”  Jody had never been so adamant before, or so worried.  It had been three months since I had moved in with Jody, using the Sheriff’s Sioux Falls home as my home base.  Jobs had taken me away fairly regularly and I hadn’t spent more than two consecutive nights in the bedroom that had been designated as mine.  But that didn’t change the fact that it was home.  

“You just need to get here now, okay?  I mean it.  Get on the road now.  I don’t care if you’re in the middle-”  

“I just finished the job, Jodes.” I cut her off.  “I’m only about an hour away.  I’ll be home soon, okay?”  

“Just….” Jody hesitated. “Hurry.”  

The phone call disconnected and I sat starring at the cell phone in confusion before turning the ignition and pointing the car towards home.  

I made the hour-long drive is just under 40 minutes, having put the gas pedal to the floor.  Flinging the driver’s side door open, I practically sprinted up the steps, slamming the unlocked front door open in my wake.  

“Jody,” I called out in a panic.  

She quickly stepped out of the kitchen and walked directly towards me; arms outstretched and tears in her eyes.  

“I’m so glad you made it home,” Jody whispered, pulling me into her tight embrace.  

“Hey,” I began.  “I’m okay.  I’m here.  I’m right here, Jody.”  I wrapped my arms tightly around her, holding her as she trembled.  “Jody? What’s going on?”  

Slowly, she backed out of my embrace, swallowing hard as her eyes fixated on the floor between my feet.  “Y/N,” she began, her words coming out as if she were choking on them.  

I waited in silence, knowing she’d tell me once the words were there.  But before she could, a face peered out at me from the kitchen.  It was a face I didn’t recognize.  A girl with dark olive skin and black wavy hair that barely touched her shoulders.  She was holding a bowl and quickly throwing popcorn kernels into her mouth as she stepped closer to us.  

“Hello,” I said, attempting to sound as normal as I could muster.  “I’m-”

“I know who you are,” her voice was high, but cracked as she spoke.  “Did you tell her?”  The stranger looked at Jody expectantly as Jody shook her head.

“I was just getting to that.”  

“Tell me what, Jody?”  My voice was full of panic now.  Secrets never gave me the warm fuzzies and now that this stranger was in on it, my anxiety was skyrocketing.  

“Y/N, this is Patience.”  Jody gestured towards the newcomer as she introduced her.  I nodded my head as I inclined it towards her by way of welcome.

“Nice to meet you,” I grunted, crossing my arms and waiting for the shoe to drop. 

Loud footsteps came stomping down the stairs to my right as I heard Claire’s voice ring out.  “Y/N?  Is that you?  You aren’t dead?”  The surprise and outrage in her words left me wide eyed.

“What?!” I yelled. “Why would you think I was dead?”  

Claire hopped over to me, tucking herself into my shoulder as she gave me a quick one-armed hug, her eyes focused on Patience’s face.  

“Ask the psychic,” she explained.  

I turned my face to meet Patience’s, my face set in a hard line and my eyes bugged out of their sockets.  “Why does she think I’m dead?”  

Jody took a step closer, placing herself between Patience and I. “Claire’s right,” she started to explain.  “Patience is a psychic.  She’s Missouri Moseley’s granddaughter.”  Her words were succinct, and I knew right away what she was implying.  

“Patience,” I began, my voice low and empathetic.  “I’m so sorry.  Your grandmother was,” I hesitated.  “She was a very special woman.  Very beloved.”  

I watched as Patience absorbed my words but she gave no response. Jody had let me know about Missouri’s passing when it happened.  I had been on a case in Iowa, clearing out a Rugaru issue when the Winchester’s had worked with Missouri for the last time.  It was the only time in the last few months that I regretted my avoidant personality.  

“I still don’t get it.  Why did you think I was dead?”  

“Because I saw you die,” Patience explained, her words matter-of-fact, if not unfeeling.  

I looked at her incredulously. “What?”  

After an hour that seemed to last for days, Jody and Patience had explained everything to me.  Patience’s visions, her seeing me die, and the fact that the Winchester’s were in some alternate universe that just so happened to be the same one where I died.  My mind was swimming and I couldn’t seem to get my head above the water to take a breath, let alone understand.  

“Y/N?”  Claire rested her hand on my shoulder, giving me a slight shake as she tried desperately to get my attention.  

I brought my eyes up to meet hers, but couldn’t find any words.  

“We’re going to get them back, Y/N.”  Claire’s attempt to reassure me fell flat.  

“Sam and….”  I swallowed hard.  “And Dean.  They’re missing?”  I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and my breathing felt like it was getting shallower and shallower as I struggled to maintain my calm, something I was failing at desperately.  

Jody shook her head slowly, confirming my fears.  “But we know what we need to do.”  

I looked at her, my eyes pleading with her to give me more information.  

She rolled her eyes in return.  “They were working with a girl, Kaia.  She knows where they’re at and how to get there.”  

“Okay, so let’s go!”  I stood up dramatically, pushing my chair back as I did.  

“Wait,” Jody said, reaching out and grabbing my hand.  “We can’t talk to her”  

While I hadn’t thought my eyeballs would be able to stress themselves beyond my skull any further, her words quickly proved me wrong.  

“What do you mean?  Why wouldn’t we talk to her?  Jody, what the hell!?”  

“She bolted,” Claire explained.  “She was in the hospital, I went to talk to her, and she bolted.  There were these bizarre monsters outside that attacked her,” my eyes widened even more. “We took care of it,” Claire stressed, holding her hands out to me as if to stop me from running.  “But she’s down for the count.  They got a few good licks in and she went down.  She’ll be okay.  Alex is patching her up, but, Y/N,” Claire hesitated, taking a deep breath.  “She’s from that universe.  Where Sam and Dean are.  The Bad Place, she calls it.”  

Claire’s face was that of a repentant child, as though any and all of this should fall on her shoulders.  

I took a few deep breaths, attempting to steady myself as I pinched the bridge of my nose with one hand, resting the other on my hip as I began to pace.  “So, you’re telling me that Sam and Dean are in some bizarro world, and the only person that can get us there is too busy having her boo-boos kissed to tell us how to get there?”  My voice rose in volume with each word, my illusion of calm rapidly fading.  

“It’s more than just that,” Jody said, standing up and slamming her hands on the dining room table.  “Y/N, you’re missing a vital part of this puzzle.”

“What part, Jody?  Sam and Dean are missing and we’re supposed to, what, sit on our thumbs and wait? I don’t think so!”  I began walking towards the garage, knowing Alex would have the girl that was the key to all of this in there with her.  

“The part where you die, Y/N!”  Claire screamed at me with tears in her eyes.  

“I don’t see how that matters even a little bit!”  My answer bit at her, and I watched her recoil, surprise evident on her face as she did so.  

“This isn’t negotiable.” Jody’s voice was deceptively calm and firm.  “You go over there, you die.  You aren’t leaving this house, do you hear me?”  Jody squinted as her words came out full of anger.  

“If Dean’s over there,” I caught myself. “If Dean and Sam are over there, then there’s absolutely no question as to where I’m going to be.  My place is there.  Saving them.  And you know it.”

“I can’t lose you, too!”  Jody’s exclamation took me by surprise.  

“Jodes,” I began, but she held her hand up, effectively silencing me.  

“No.  Y/N, no.  Okay?  You’re staying here.  I won’t lose another child.”  Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and my heart lurched at her words. “I won’t do it, Y/N.”  

I let out a deep breath.  “It’s Dean,” I whispered.  

“Yeah, I know it is.  I know you two had a nasty breakup.  I know you haven’t spoken in months and I know you regret it every day.  But you cannot be the one to go over there.  I won’t let you.  If you go, I lose you, and I am not about to lose you, or anyone else.  Is that clear?”  

I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat that refused to diminish.  “All that matters is Dean, Jody.  I have to go-”  

“Damnit Y/N, if he was all that mattered to you then you would’ve said yes when he proposed to you instead of turning tail and running for the hills!”  

I took a step back to steady myself as my eyes focused on Jody.  “Look,” Jody began, her voice calmer now.  “Donna and I will go over there as soon as Kaia tells us what she knows.  We’ll take care of this and you will stay here.  There’s no other plan. This is it.”  

My eyes flitted from Jody to Claire and back, both of them giving me the same pleading expression and both too stubborn and strong-willed to change their minds.  

I nodded my head slowly, agreeing to their plan out of necessity, as Alex came running in through the garage door.  “It’s Larsen’s,” she blurted out.  “Larsen Brothers Shipyard off Route 14.  That’s where the door is.”  A small, dark haired girl with scratches adorning her face walked in behind her.

Jody and Claire were already grabbing supplies as we all piled into our vehicles and headed for the shipyard.  

We arrived in less than ten minutes and gathered at the sidewalk in front of the entryway.  

“Donna and I have got this.  But that door, it’s been open for a while and there’s no telling what crawled out in the meantime.  So, you guys?  You’re playing defense, okay?”  We all nodded in the affirmative as each of us armed ourselves accordingly.  

Donna was standing at the end of the sidewalk, hugging Claire and Patience as they walked by her.  I kept telling my feet to move, but no matter how loudly I shouted at them in my head, they wouldn’t respond.  I felt an arm snake its way over my shoulders, pulling me into a half hug.

“He’ll be alright, Y/N,” Donna’s friendly voice sang out to me as she pulled my head towards her.  

“I know,” I acquiesced.  “Just bring him back safe, okay?”  She gave me a quick nod and a smile before I watched her and Jody disappear into the building.  

It had been a while since Jody and Donna had gone in.  Too long.  Claire, Kaia, and Patience had all begun to get antsy a while ago and my trigger finger was more than itchy in their absence as I reacted to each and every sound that came out of the building in front of us.  

We heard a gunshot and all of our breaths stopped as we collectively stared at the building.  “That’s it,” I said, cocking my handgun and holding it down to my side.  

“You guys can stay here but I’m going in.  Something’s wrong.”  I began walking towards the front door, just as Claire wrapped her delicate hand around my wrist.  

“Wait,” she said.  “You can’t.”  She flicked her eyes over to Patience and stared at me silently.  

“It’s Dean,” I offered her as my explanation.  “What good is being alive in any world if he isn’t in it?”  I could feel moisture building in my eyes and I did my best to hold my tears at bay.  

“I’ll go with you.”  An unfamiliar voice sang out from the crowd as Kaia stepped forward.  “You won’t know where you’re going if I don’t.  I know where to go.  And where not to.”  She looked down at her fingers as she fiddled with her nails, nervously.  

All four of us walked into the building, our eyes searching endlessly for any sign of Donna or Jody.  

“Jodes!” I yelled into the emptiness.  We heard the beating of feet above us as I dove for the staircase, yelling for the others to follow me.  

By the time we found them, they had been surrounded.  Unfamiliar monsters with sickly glowing red eyes stared at them as if they were a feast.  I raised my gun and pulled off two shots directly into the back of their skulls.  I watched as their bodies slumped to the floor in front of us, and Jody and Donna each turned their heads towards me.  

Just beyond them, there was a glowing orange line that seemed to spark and fade.  

“There,” Kaia yelled, pointing her hand towards it.  “That’s the door!”  

I watched as it slowly began to shrink. “No!” I shouted as my feet broke into a sprint with Kaia close behind me.  

We leapt over Jody as she lay bruised and beaten on the floor, and made a break straight for the gateway.  I tumbled to the ground, taking in the monochromatic surroundings I found myself in.  Glancing back towards the rift, I could see it was still open, but just barely.  And there was no telling how long it would remain that way.  

“Come on,” Kaia said as she stood up, her teeth chattering in fear as she turned away from the door and walked away, beckoning me to follow her.  My handgun remained clenched in my hand as I reached for the pocketknife that had been tucked away in my back pocket.  

“Lead the way.”  

We seemed to be walking for hours and I was sure that any portal that there had been had closed by now.  Kaia continued to assure me that we hadn’t even been there an hour yet.  I ran my hands through my hair, tugging at the ends as I tucked it behind my ears.  

“We have to find them, Kaia,” I begged. She gave me no response but continued on until we heard the sounds of breaking twigs and crushed leaves.  Kaia hunched down in front of me, getting as low to the ground as she could as she held a finger up to me, insisting on my continued silence.  

We peaked out of a threadbare bush to try to identify where the sound came from, when two figures began walking towards us, their movements tentative and quiet.  

“Dean?” I whimpered as I lunged myself out into the clearing and towards him.  

My name hadn’t fully left his lips when I crashed into him, my arms wrapping around his neck as tears forced their way down my cheeks.  My breathing was ragged, but I’d never been so relieved.  I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me into him as if he needed to know I was real.  He repeated my name again as I sobbed into his shoulder.  

“I thought,” I cried.  “I thought I’d lost you.” I leaned back and released my hold on him, finally meeting his eye.  

He was blinking fast, confusion coloring his entire face and stance.  But his eyes held mine as I stared into the deep emerald orbs that had always captivated me.  He raised his hand, wiping the tears that had been falling down my face away with the gentle pad of his thumb.  I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling of his touch; his calloused fingertips smoothing over my skin sending shockwaves through me.  

“Same here,” he said, as his jaw set into a hard, locked line, his eyes still focused on me.  

“I’d hate to interrupt,” Kaia spoke up from behind us. “But we’re running on borrowed time here, if we aren’t out of time already.  We’ve got to go.”  

I pulled myself away from Dean, going against every urge in my body as I did so.  Wiping my hands down my shirt to smooth it out, I dusted myself off and attempted to focus yet again.  

“Hey Y/N,” I heard Sam’s voice calling from beside me.  Turning my head to him, I took in the smile that was plastered on his face, giving him my own smile in return.  “Heya Sammy,” I called as he reached out and squeezed my shoulder.

I turned around to face Kaia again, gesturing for her to lead the way. She seized the opportunity and began walking quickly back the way that we had come.  I followed behind her with the boys in tow.  The trek back to the gateway seemed to go faster, as if time had sped up now that Sam and Dean had been found.  

A few minutes into our hike, Dean’s hand wound its way into mine, interlacing his fingers with mine as he squeezed my hand tightly; a gesture he had often given me when he knew I was uncomfortable or stressed.  I turned my head to make eye contact with him again as we continued walking.  

“It’s just up there,” Kaia pointed ahead of us as she continued, panting.  We could see the orange break in space hovering above the ground.  It didn’t seem to have shrunk in size, but its vibrance had died down significantly.  

“Run,” I instructed them, pushing Sam and Dean ahead of me as Kaia took off towards the rift.  I followed behind, close on their heels.

We were feet away from the doorway when I felt it.  A menacing, hooded figure clad in black sneaking up from behind.  When I turned my head, I could see them throw their arm forward as the long, aerodynamic weapon they were holding came flying towards us, pointed directly at Dean.  

“No!” I screamed, diving at him as I shoved him towards the doorway and put myself between him and the spear.  I watched in slow motion as Sam and Kaia made it through to the other side.  But, to my horror, Dean had stopped to turn around and face me, watching as the head of the spear sank itself into my back.  

“Y/N?”  Dean was screaming my name repeatedly as he reached for me, glaring over my shoulder at my assaulter and his would-be murderer.  I fell forward, kneeling to the ground as I turned my head to look at the hooded figure again.  I watched as the black hood fell back, revealing a familiar face and a sinister grin.  “Kaia?” I whispered.  

My vision began to go black as I felt Dean’s arms wrap around me, jerking me up to my feet before he lifted my legs in one arm, cradling my shoulders in the other.  My head lolled back and in an instant, everything went black.  

Dean was pacing the floor in Jody’s garage as Sam and Alex examined Y/N’s wound.  She’d passed out before they had even made it through the doorway, but Dean had made sure that they came back home safely.  The rift closed almost immediately after they came through.  

“Dean?” Sam had called to his brother once they were back in their own world.  But the only response he received was the garbled cries of Dean’s anguish.  

“No,” Sam had uttered beneath his breath as he ran towards them, convinced that what he was seeing couldn’t be real.  “No, she’s fine, Dean. She’s going to be fine.  Let me take a look at her.”  

He pushed his way to his brother, every step feeling like his feet were made of lead and concrete.  But when he pressed his fingers to her neck, feeling the small pulsations of her carotid artery, he let out a sigh of relief.  

“She’s got a pulse.  A weak one, but it’s there.  We need to get her some help.  Now.”  Sam reached out for her, wanting to remove the physical burden from Dean as he watched his brother collapse to the floor.  “Dean!” Sam was yelling, desperation flooding him. “We have to go.”  

Jody ran up to them, taking in the sight that she had feared.  “We didn’t stop it,” she muttered.  Patience walked up behind her, holding her hand over her mouth as if in astonishment.  

“This is it,” she said.  “My vision.  This is what I saw.”  Jody gasped, allowing the panic and heartbreak to set in.  

“We’ve got to move her,” Sam told them. “She’s got a pulse, but she won’t for long if we don’t get her somewhere safe.”  

Jody shook her head slightly, focusing yet again.  “Get her to the car out front. Alex’ll patch her up at home.”  

Before her sentence was finished, Sam was bolting towards the car, taking the steps down two at a time. Dean followed behind, his movements empty, as if a man possessed.  

Jody wove her arm through his, hanging onto his elbow as they walked quickly towards the exit and to the car.  

“I just got her back,” Dean said.  “I just got her back.  She can’t be gone already.  I can’t…” He left his sentence unfinished as Jody rubbed a loving hand up and down his back, attempting to reassure him.  

“It’ll be fine.  She’ll bounce right back.  She’s a fighter, yeah?”  Jody opened the back passenger door of her car, urging Dean into the seat as Sam was laying Y/N across from the other side, resting her head on Dean’s lap.  

Jody jumped in the driver’s seat, throwing the car into reverse as she pushed the “Talk” button on the steering wheel and called Alex.  

“It’s Y/N,” she said succinctly.  “We need you.  It’s…” She hesitated, looking up into the rearview mirror at Dean.  “It’s not good.  We’re a couple minutes away.  Be ready.”  The one-sided conversation was quick, direct and to the point.  

The tires squealed to a stop as Jody parked the car in the driveway, slamming the transmission into park and flicking the engine to the off position before everyone began hopping out of the car.  Dean stayed where he was, slowly stroking Y/N’s hair as he attempted to soothe her into waking.  

Alex was running out of the front door towards them, her scrubs still stained with Kaia’s blood from patching her up earlier, and her stethoscope still hanging from her neck.  “Bring her inside!”  

Dean did as he was told, sliding out of his seat, careful not to let Y/N’s head fall as he slowly pulling her out of the car and cradling her in his arms.  In seconds, they were all standing in the garage as Dean laid Y/N down on the gurney and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  

“Everyone, take a step back,” Alex ordered, listening to Y/N’s heart as she did so.  “Jody, I need you to bring me an IV bag.  We’re going to need to get some blood in her now along with as many antibiotics and as much saline as possible.  She’s losing blood fast.”

The words seemed to all blur together as Dean dropped into the chair behind him, cradling his head in his hands.  “This can’t be happening,” he repeated to himself, his eyes fixated on a drop of her blood as it fell to the floor.  

Two hours later, Dean was sitting next to Y/N again, squeezing her hand between both of his as he stared intently at her face.  Alex had assured him that she was fine.  That she’d been all patched up, that the dehydration and blood loss had been combated, and that everything was going to be just fine in time.  But he longed to see her eyes open and looking at him like she always had.  Like she could see into his soul.  He yearned to hear her voice, even if she yelled at him and never wanted to see him again.  As long as she was alive.  

He lowered his head, muttering “Please,” to himself over and over.  

At some point, he must have drifted off to sleep, her hand still clenched in his, with his head resting on the side of the bed.  She began to stir, grunting as she did so and squeezing his hand back.  

My eyes were heavy and hazy.  The pain that had flown through me on our way to the doorway seemed a distant memory and my body felt as though I were floating in the ocean; one wave after another pushing me closer to shore.  I opened my eyes tentatively, hesitant to take in my surroundings for fear that the monochromatic world would still be surrounding me.  

But in my hand, I could feel the warm familiarity that was Dean’s fingers interlaced with mine. I squeezed my hand around his, desperate to prove to myself that it was truly him.  

“Y/N?”  He woke with a start, his eyes focusing on my face as he brought one hand up to cup my cheek.  

I gave him a smile, my eyes closing in a slow blink as I opened my mouth.  “Hey there stranger.”  

Dean leaned down quickly, pressing his lips firmly against mine, seeming to blow life into me with his kiss.  The one that never failed to take my breath away.  

“Don’t you ever do that to me again, do you understand?”  

I nodded as I laughed quietly, Dean’s forehead pressing down into my own.  

“You got it,” I confirmed for him.  

“Marry me?”  The question came out as a plea as he pushed his head closer to mine, rubbing our noses against one another.  The same question I’d run from so many months ago.  But now, after all this time and after all that had happened, there was only one answer that I could give.  

I smiled at him, holding my breath as my cheeks began to ache from the tension. 

“Yes.”  

Taglist (Tag requests are open):

@vicmc624@waywardprincesa@heyyy-hey-babyyy @carissime72 @deans-baby-momma @formulafun @woodworthti666 @yetanotherreader @crashlyrose @hobby27 @gabby913 @jxackles @polina-93 @supernaturaladdictsblog  @fandomoverdose666 @deans-baby-momma @deanwanddamons @tazzi-baby @acertainhero @lilulo-12​

(Desperate attempt to get my faves to notice me) @thinkinghardhardlythinking@smol-and-grumpy @wonder-cole-reads @watermelonlipstick @that-one-gay-girl @waywardbaby