“The average prison sentence of men who kill their women partners is 2 to 6 years. Women who kill their male partners are sentenced on average to 15 years. This is despite the fact that 86% of female offenders kill in self-defense, while males are most likely to kill out of possessiveness (82%), abuse (75%) and during arguments (63%). Women are eight times more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner.”
It was a random moment during a road trip in November 2020, that my connection to “Love Is Blind” by Eve featuring Faith Evans deepened. I passionately rapped the words along with Eve and began to see the connection between Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), commonly referred to as domestic violence.
The song has always been one of my favorite songs. As a child, it was because of my love for Eve and storytelling. In early adulthood, however, it was having experienced a similar situation as the one described in the song. I connected to the lyrics written about her sister/friend who she felt unable to protect from intimate partner abuse.
As a child, I sang the song not truly understanding the truth behind the lyrics. Understanding came when one of my close friends confided she was in an abusive relationship. Over the years, I stood helplessly and angry on the sidelines, watching the effects of IPV play out in each area of my sister’s life. All of my efforts and cries fell on deaf ears. As my journey in maternal and child health continued, I began to recognize and understand the impacts of intimate partner violence and domestic violence on birth outcomes and maternal and child health and also the impact that it was having on my friend’s life.
For Black women, sisterhood is an integral part of our life journey. We take pride in being able to be there for our sisters. But what do we do when our help and being there are not enough? Over the course of “Love is Blind,” Eve takes the listener on an emotional journey of sisterhood and contemplates what happens when our help is not enough. She embodies the feelings of helplessness and anger experienced when your close friend/sister is the victim of intimate partner violence with excruciating accuracy. Intimate Partner Violence, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), is defined as “abuse or aggression that occurs in a romantic relationship.” (It is important to note, however, that romantic relationships can be sexual and non-sexual).
Intimate Partner Violence can be expressed in one or a combination of the four following ways—physical violence, psychological aggression, sexual violence and stalking.
Psychological Aggression
Psychological aggression is the category that non-verbal and verbal abusive communication—mental and emotional abuse—falls under. Isolation and financial control are other tactics of psychological aggression.
Sexual Violence
Sexual violence encompasses control over sexual and reproductive health. Each way, minus stalking, is alluded to in the various lines throughout “Love Is Blind.”
Perinatal Intimate Partner Violence
Perinatal IPV is intimate partner violence occurring anytime within one year of pregnancy and one year after pregnancy. This distinction is critical because the majority of reported cases happen to women during reproductive ages (18-34).
Pregnancy and the overall perinatal period are a highly vulnerable time for people; hence, it is important to look closely at the impacts of abuse during that period and work to prevent it.
Nationally, one in four women experiences IPV, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). Eve captures her friend’s experience with perinatal IPV. In the final line of the first verse, she wrote: “I could have killed you when you said your seed was growin’ from his semen.” My sentiments were not exactly those of Eve’s, but my friend also experienced perinatal IPV.
