#pick up the pen dean winchester

So, thing is…. I have not watched the episode. I just was spoilered on the explore page on youtube when looking up news and there it was. Thank you so much algorithm for ruining the only episode in 4 years that I actually would have liked to watch unspoilered. That’s off the table now of course…. That said. I will watch it later in full. So take all of this with a shitton of salt, because my opinion is basically based only on Dean’s death scene and Sam’s life montage and the ending in Heaven of them meeting again without any in between so I might miss some vital infos – and yeah maybe I should have waited to post after I have seen the full episode first, then again, it doesn’t really matter, my opinion doesn’t matter, as I have not been involved with fandom or tumblr in ages, but maybe my impression can help someone somewhere to feel a bit better about this ending.

So, with that said. And I guess this will be a surprise to most people, these little ten minutes of episode to me delivered more emotion – though the hair and make up on Jared as Aging!Sam was just awful lol so I am ignoring all that – than all of the past 4 years combined.

Is the ending dissatisfying? I can see how people think that. I have to say, I look at it more objectively since I am not involved in fandom etc. anymore. But imo and I really would not have ever expected to say that about an episode written by Dabb. Imo this ending does make sense. I see a lot of posts going around saying that this ending doesn’t make sense, because of the season long arc of the death of the author and fight for free will and that it is the badly written ending Chuck would have penned. And I kind of think no, it isn’t. It’s just that many people treated the past seasons or watched them with rose coloured glasses.

I have expressed in a single post last week why I have issues with Dabb’s era and people’s appraisal of him, because they excused all the bad writing with that only having been „Chuck’s bad writing“ and therefore Dabb and Co were so extremely clever and amazing and soooooo meta. Which yeah, no Dabb was no genius and neither was a Berens. It was objectively bad and lazy writing. This ending however imo actually makes sense – and people only hate it because they did not get what they wanted. Did I get what I wanted from this ending? Not by a long shot – for one: Dean would have deserved more. Much could have been done better, but from the quality or rather extreme lack thereof since Dabb took over, this ending is more than I ever would have expected possible.

So let me get into the meat of it and why I think that way. I can see why it is frustrating to accept this ending, because it feels like all of what they went through was for nothing, because it was never „truly them“ - and I guess that was Jensen’s biggest issue with that ending – and that Dean dies so quickly after just having been free(d). You see, if you operate with the death of the author and celebrating that fact, because it means true free will for the Winchesters then this ending simply – as dissatisfying as it may feel for the character who just achieved freedom – is a fitting one and indeed does not negate character development made (which arguably was influenced by Chuck and never real), but rather showcases it.

Dean dieing on a hunt, in a mundane fashion, due to a rusty nail many say is a disgrace, because it should have been an epic fighting scene or whatever. Why though? We had that countless times. We know Dean is a skilled fighter. He did many Big bads in. Why would it need one more for the final episode? Especially when considering all those times before Chuck has been pulling the strings (this is much more why I think they never should have introduced God in that way and go this route, because that in fact destroys all of the past – which again is why I think Jensen struggled with the ending). Again, I understand people’s discomfort, but I actually think Dean dieing on a hunt, in a mundane fashion, due to a rusty nail is a „good“ (as good as it can get with Dabb & Co) ending. Why? Because it all was entirely Dean. No Chuck. No big story. It was Dean. It was Dean writing his own story. Holding the pen. And That is all I ever wanted (would I have wanted it for him to be able to do it longer, hell yes, but even getting Dean’s joy of being free just for one day imo is worth it and worth more than a lifetime as a puppet for a cruel God). Dean died while doing what he believed in, what he loved doing, with his brother by his side and them both on the same page and not butting heads, he was there out of his own free will, he was not supercharged by an special weapon and he was most of all not indestructable because he was a plaything of God. He died, because he was/is free. Because that is what happens when life happens. And life is tragic. That’s what this is. A tragic death. A tragic death of a wonderful human being. And that’s always what I loved dean for: his humanity and his flaws.

And I don’t see/read it as Dean only finding happiness or true free will in death, though I understand why you could read it that way, absolutely. But imo seeing it that way only cuts things short. Dean was able to let go, he was able to say goodbye to Sam (now his whole speech about him being weaker than Sam etc., that part was enraging and unnescessary, but for the sake of the much despised „bigger picture“ I will ignore it here, because that part I have big issues with). That means he did „overcome“ his „always be there for Sammy“ and giving himself up in the process of doing that (and again yes, that he was only to overcome this when dieing makes this part pretty problematic, very much so – but then again, I don’t expect well crafted story from Dabb, so…). Every single time before (when God was still in the picture) the Winchesters did something bad to undo „death“, etc. whether that was what they would have done if God was not in the picture is up for debate, but in any case here Sam and Dean met one another on eye level. Sam let Dean go and he lived with the grief (yeah, the irony of Dabb trying to replicate „Swan Song“ with roles reversed just in a spectacularly worse way is not lost on me, believe me), but he kept going, didn’t go to extremes to reverse it. He lived with it. Because that’s how life happens. Most of the time it’s not fair. And it’s not what we deserve. But we „carry on“. And we keep writing our story. However a tragic one it might be. But at least it’s ours. We are the paper. We are the pen. And not a bit of spilled ink in Death’s or God’s book. And I happen to think that is as good as it gets…

Alright, those are my two cents on an episode that I haven’t seen lol. I am sure once I see it, there will be a lot of things I will probably dislike about it, but just from the small but probably big bits of the episode, these are my two cents. Don’t get up in arms over it. I am not here to fight. Have never been. And I sure won’t start now that I probably will never log back into this account. :)