#pouring my heart out

Hello lovelies! It’s time for the part of the show where I bare my heart to the world and word vomit all over you. Ready?!

Has it been a long time? It feels like a long time! I feel like I haven’t been able to give the blog the time it needs, I hope you’ll forgive me. 

I don’t want to seem like I’m self promoting or anything, but recently, in the past month or so, I got back into drawing. Drawing has always been a big part of my life. Like….spend 6 hours drawing and then suddenly looking around and wandering where the time went - type of “big part”. For various reasons….depression, a loss of sense of self, the fear of becoming an adult and having to stay afloat on top of what felt like a sinking ship - I stopped drawing shortly after graduating college 6 years back. I still doodled, but I didn’t finish or produce anything that I would call valuable in terms of art. 

Recently I started DM’ing a very small D&D module for a group of friends and realized I wanted to make some art for it. Like the sheer need I felt to create art for it was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. It set off this chain reaction, like this limb of mine that I had thought was dead and rotted off had suddenly been healed and well….it resulted in this. I’ve been using pretty much all of my free time to draw or study drawing, because I realized this was something useful I could do that also brought me joy and I’m putting a lot of effort into getting better. 

After a couple weeks of drawing I realized I hadn’t been posting here regularly and felt terrible about it. This blog has helped me get through some of the emotionally, creatively driest years of my life. It was like that part of me, the part that loved to draw, wasn’t completely dead and still wanted to create, if at least in another way.

I didn’t really plan what to say for this post, I’m definitely NOT stopping MyMainisaCook, I’m just letting you know that my getting back into drawing has severely rocked my world (in a exhilarating yet terrifyingly good way), and it may be some time until I get my schedule back under control. Keep sending requests, keep enjoy the content, just know that I may decide to cut back on the amount I post and try to make what I post contain more.If that makes sense.

I love you all! Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams! And most importantly, enjoy tomorrow’s recipe!

<3 B