Immaculate Misconception

Surgery screening for my GRS was today… Blood work. Detailed health and family history. Blood stuff. Pesurgery to-do list. Living will. This sh*t’s getting real, fast.

I spent a good amount of time talking to the doctor and asking questions and just assuming they were in on what’s going on. Apparently, communication is not that great within my immediate support community.

Why is that you ask?

So apparently, the folks involved with my anesthesia had NO IDEA what surgery they were prepping me for.

In mid interview, the doctor excused himself and came back a bit later, with a concerned look on his face. He straddled the chair - backwards of course, and in his best dads voice, asked me about my pregnancy.

It was easily the funniest, most surreal moment in my life trying to convince a group of “medical professionals” that the transgirl in the room wasn’t hiding a pregnancy.

Apparently, it was on my chart.

Obviously, I was confused and then IMMEDIATELY burst out laughing as I then had to explain what my actual surgery IS and that I do not, in fact, have a uterus.

I had been studying STI’s in preparation of a trip to other countries to help women in need. A 15 year old girl overheard me and my friend talking and came over when my friend had walked away. From here on out we will call the 15 year old Sophia.

Sophia: Hey, I over heard your conversation and was wondering if you could help me. I think I’m pregnant.
Me: Oh, okay. Have you taken a pregnancy test?
Sophia: Yeah, it came up negative.
Me: Oh, that’s good. You are most likely no…
Sophia: But we’ve had sex since then.
Me: You know the tests don’t predict pregnancy, right?
Sophia: Well, I thought they might be able to…
Me: Well, did you use protection?
Sophia: Yes! We used condoms.

Me INTERNALLY:

I was really happy until I realized this 15 year old had thought pregnancy tests could predict pregnancy’s so I asked her a little more.

Me: How did you use the condom?
Sophia: Well, he put it on his penis.
Me INTERNALLY: GOOD FOR HER!
Sophia:Then he took it off and put his penis inside me.
Me INTERNALLY: 

Me: Why did he take the condom off before sex?
Sophia: Because it had spermicide in it.
Me: I understand how you could have thought that but that isn’t how condoms work. The condom acts as a barrier between you and your partner to protect against STI’s and then it catches his sperm so that they can’t fertilize any eggs. However, this method isn’t 100% effective so a lot of people will pair it with other forms of birth control to be safe.
Sophia: Well, my family is pretty strict so I can’t go get another test and I can’t use any other birth control.

Me: Would you like me to take you to get another test?
Sophia: We also used the pull out method.
Me: Well, that is a good thing to try but you have to be very good with the timing for it to be absolutely effective. Not to mention the fact that there is sperm in precum. Most of it will die out due to the acidity of the urine it comes into contact with so the chances are low that the precum could have gotten you pregnant.

This went on for about an hour. She would tell me how they tried to be safe and then right after explain how they didn’t actually do what they needed to. For example, when her boyfriend had pulled out, he had done so AFTER he ejaculated and then wiped himself off on her thigh. 

I drove her to a drug store and walked her through all the contraceptives they had and then walked her through how to take the pregnancy test. Luckily she was not pregnant but I don’t think she was ever able to understand just how lucky she was. She was 15 years old with religious parents (famous for being against Planned Parenthood) who kicked out her older brother for getting a girl pregnant. She was taught sex ed in school but she wasn’t taught how to protect herself, only how to abstain. 

Planned Parenthood teaches people how to have sex safely. It helps with birth control and STI testing. They give breast AND testicular exams to help make sure you are healthy. The help both men and women with UTI’s and they are there to help. Don’t defund Planned Parenthood. Don’t talk about defunding Planned Parenthood. Talk to your kids and be open or they will go to a stranger for the talk.