#qiren i love you but plz dont do this to my stoic boi
Lan Qiren stares down at the open filigree box. His nephew has always been a collector—of memories, of dried flowers from a mother’s garden, of rocks, and so on and so forth. He has always been a sentimental boy when you deigned to look beyond the surface. It is no surprise that Lan Zhan wishes to preserve all that he loves but Lan Qiren wishes that his nephew had not decided to collect pictures of another boy who is regrettably all too familiar.
Lan Qiren stares down at pictures of Cangse Sanren’s son and wants to die. He remembers when Lan Zhan used to refer to himself as Zhanzhan with his high pitched voice and his sweetly blank chubby face. Zhan’er is still a little boy in Lan Qiren’s heart and he does not enjoy the way the boy is maturing.
Lan Zhan has begun to resemble his father overly much so. The curse of all Lans. Wei Ying and his bloodline is a menace to humanity and to Lans. He remembers Cangse Sanren’s raucous laughter and her lack of boundaries. Her son has clearly seduced his nephew. Otherwise…
Why does Lan Zhan have a collection of photos of Wei Ying?
Upon hearing a barely audible footstep, Lan Qiren whirls around with damning evidence clutched in his hand. He stares at his youngest nephew who meets him with a blank gaze.
“Hello, Uncle,” Lan Zhan says primly. “Please put the photos back in my box.” He walks further into his room and slides off his backpack. He approaches Lan Qiren, who looms over his desk and collection of boxed photos.
Lan Qiren does not appreciate the utter disregard the boy treats him with. A certain heat consumes his face as his brows draw together. He opens his mouth and closes it when Lan Zhan sits down at his desk and begins to fiddle with…with framed images of Wei Ying! A shrine of photos! A shrine to some sort of demonic entity because surely that boy’s bloodline is sourced straight from the underworld.
“Lan Zhan!” Lan Qiren snaps.
Lan Zhan lifts his head to stare at his uncle.
“What is the meaning of this?” Lan Qiren demands as he waves the photo of a boy in swim shorts, almost identical to the central image of the Wei Ying shrine. The photo in Lan Qiren’s hand also has a cloud-embroidered ribbon painstakingly glued across the boy’s nipples. Thank the heavens that the ribbon is not one of Lan Zhan’s personal ribbons. Otherwise…No, it doesn’t bear thinking about.
“He’s my boyfriend from Yunmeng,” Lan Zhan says. The tone is almost defiant, imperceptible enough that Lan Qiren cannot address it.
“A boyfriend!” Lan Qiren thunders. “You’re too young for a boyfriend! Especially for this…this shameless hussy!” He waves the photo in his hand for emphasis.
Lan Zhan opens his mouth.
It better be repentance and a promise to break up with the demon.
“Uncle, please be careful with the photo…and he’s not a ‘shameless hussy’.”
“You! Shameless! Half-naked photos!”
“Uncle, please. It’s three-quarters.”
“Insolent boy!”
Lan Qiren attempts to rip the photo of the three-quarters naked boy but the ribbon at Wei Ying’s nipples hinders any further progress. Inarticulate with rage, he stares down at his nephew, who has the gall to sport the slightest of injured looks with his downturned mouth.
“You are no longer boyfriends with him! I am calling the Jiangs tonight and putting an end to this nonsense,” Lan Qiren says. He lets out a long gusty exhale at the end, reassured by his own plan.
“He’s my boyfriend,” Lan Zhan insists.
Clearly, Lan Qiren has been too lenient with the boy. Taking up with a shameless hussy! A shameless hussy who sends three-quarters naked photos to respectable young men. Zhan’er has been seduced!
“No boyfriends! You’re only 12!” Lan Qiren shouts.
“Uncle,” Lan Zhan says, as if emphasizing their family relation will quiet his anger, “I’m 17.”
Lan Qiren points an accusing finger at his nephew. Wordless with rage, he backs out of the room with his eyes focused on his recalcitrant nephew. He cannot bear to see the sight of this wayward nephew now.
Lan Qiren needs tea.
