#queue totally said that

Patroclus: Achilles and I are dating.

Everyone including Achilles: *gasps in shock*

Patrolus: Achilles, why are you shocked?

Agamemnon: Achilles, we need to talk about your professionalism.

Achilles, standing on a chair: Those are some mighty brave words for a guy standing in lava.

Odysseus, reading a fortune cookie: if you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same

Achilles, with a mouth full of takeout: kill two

Patroclus: Do you ever wonder what your future husband is doing?

Achilles: What are you doing?

Achilles:Isn’t it funny how everyone is like background characters in other people’s stories.

Achilles: Except for me of course because I’m sexy and important. But like, all of you guys.

Achilles: Visualize the ocean.

Patroclus: *horrified screeching*

Achilles: A calm ocean.

Patroclus:Oh.