Jesus lord please read this if you’re a fellow Xiao lover. My heart hurts but also warms because Spray is such a talented writer :’) Thank you for blessing us with your insane writing skills, beloved bestie…
Title: Rootings Word Count: Around 30K. Yep. We’re talkin’ 70+ pages on a word document. Summary:Shion drags himself to the ends of the earth. Nezumi can’t be dead. There’s still the stardust that shimmers in his wake. Additional Notes: For my wonderful rainglazed. This is a post-series reunion fic, but with a premise that is opposite to the well-loved ‘Nezumi comes back’ fic. This is the chronicle of Shion’sodyssey.
First of all: I did not write this story. @the-blind-assassin-12 did, and it’s not showing up in the tags - and that’s UNACCEPTABLE.
Everyone needs to read this. It’s heavy in terms of the things that happen within the story, but the descriptions of said things aren’t detailed. There is smut. There is language. Dieter’s drug use is mentioned.
A couple other warnings, straight from Alyssa herself:
Sex, filming sexual interactions (consensually) language, mention of drug use, mention of discrimination based on sexual orientation, divorce, panic attacks, having intimate videos stolen and shared without permission. ** If you are at all unsure or uncomfortable about the content feel free to message her for more detail *
Check the story out here (A Bad Idea), and check out my thoughts below the cut because I have so many incredible things to say about this story that just leaving a short comment is NOT the best course of action.
This story is about so much more than making a sex tape. It’s about the connection that people make when they really let themselves fall in love with each other. It’s about trust. It’s about compassion. It’s about finding a circle of people that you know you can count on. It’s about the things we learn about each other and what we want as time passes.
This uses a character like Dieter’s most basic qualities and habits and gives him a chance to grow and learn and become something else over time.
I was so happy when you told me you were writing for Dieter, because I knew your take on him would be more than just a typical scenario. You’d look at him and give him something - and someone - and a situation that he truly deserves. (Not that he deserves to have his privacy invated, but you know what I mean)
And you do it in a way that’s smart. It’s clear that both of them know that this tape’s creation isn’t the best idea, but they overlook that. They know there’s a risk. They know that there could be consequences - but this is important to them, because even though they don’t need to show that they connect on this level, it’s something for them to have in the lonely times. It’s (like Dieter said) something for him to listen to on his headphones in his trailer, or while he’s trying to get himself off quick. It’s proof that someone trusts and loves him enough to create physical evidence of their pairing. It’s showing him that someone else believes he’s good enough and worth doing this with - and that wants to be able to see themselves and hear themselves on the tape, too.
Even though the smut in this is in the beginning, it’s very clear that they know each other and love each other and that when it comes to what they feel and how they act, there’s nothing in question. in the moment, it’s not a bad idea. (And I don’t even think that in the future, it’s a bad idea, either … because it’s supposed to stay private. It’s supposed to just be for them.)
But of course, the best laid plans always go to shit. It doesn’t really matter in the moment how or why the video got out. It doesn’t matter who leaked it or who saw it or where it was hosted, because the fact is that it DID get out - and now it has to be dealt with.
I’m so glad Reader’s got these two with her, because they can keep her safe and get her to somewhere away from the prying eyes. They can make sure that the fallout from this is initially as minimal as possible. They can help to keep her focused and keep her moving even though the first instinct is to freeze. These people that are staring and smirking and judging when they have no right to can all go to hell, because they don’t matter, and they never will.
I love the headlines, though. I LOVE them. They are perfectly click-baity and just catchy enough to garner attention and just fucking SMARMY. Perfect.
But I really don’t think Dieter’s gonna leave her because of this. She didn’t leak it. She didn’t put it out there - this isn’t her fault. (I don’t think she really believes he will, either, but I understand why her mind went there.)
The way you weave in their story throughout is so well done. It establishes their history. It establishes that she’s never had any need to ‘use’ him for anything. She has her own career and her own talent and her own friends and her own interests. They met because their friends thought that they would be a good match, and it turned out to be the truth. I also love that he was interested in her art before he was interested in her - because I’m sure that meeting her was just a cherry on top of that cupcake, and the fact that she LIKED him was extra fucking sprinkles.
Of course he’s gonna drop everything and come to her. Why wouldn’t he? A photo shoot means nothing when all of this is going on, and he has somewhere he needs to be.
And again - this moment between them where he agrees that none of this is typical and that he does in fact want more? It’s showing just how much he’s already grown and changed. It’s showing just how self aware he is. It’s giving us more of the Dieter we met in The Bubble at the same time as it’s giving us a totally DIFFERENT Dieter, too. That circle of trust about the first marriage and what ended it is so fucking small, and now she’s in it - and if that’s not proof that he’s serious about wanting this, I don’t know what is. (I love this detail about Anika knowing, too, because it means that Dieter was serious with her, even if it ended up not working out how he wanted it to!)
The details in this section? STUNNINGLY WELL DONE. the color of his eyes. the new tattoo of the butterfly. the honest way he speaks. the admission that for him, it’s already too late to not TRY?? oof. we needed this and you delivered.
Seeing things from his perspective is really interesting to me, too. It backs up that his thoughts match his actions. He doesn’t care what happens with him - this isn’t going to fuck everything up the same way it could for her. This isn’t even a huge deal when compared to other Hollywood scandals … but the two of them have to treat it like it is, because it has the potential to ruin her career and her life and to permanently destroy her privacy. The relationship itself cannot be easy for her - just because of who and what Dieter is, but with this added? It’s not going to get any easier for a very long time.
Also, I NEED someone to illustrate this Dieter calendar page. Mr. October posing for the camera in almost nothing? I’m drooling over here imagining the hairstyle and beard and the earring. SOMEONE ASSIST.
Also, sorry about that, Dieter. It was me that hacked the CB 6 email. I was just trying to save you from that BS. I tried. I did my best. (The detail about the pay cuts is peak Good Guy Dieter, too. I am so happy you included that)
I think I just blacked out at the thought of watching a sex tape of myself with Dieter Bravo while reenacting the contents of it. Fuck.
And then he gets to where she’s at and it’s not EASY but he makes it all better, because as soon as they’re in the same room, no matter how horrible this is and is going to be, they have each other. She’s not leaving. He’s not leaving. And him telling her that he’d give everything up at the drop of a hat if it meant making sure she was OK? He understands what’s important and it’s not the awards or the recognition. It’s not the popularity or the money. He’s doing the right thing here, and I love him for it. He knows where he needs to be, and I don’t know that if you’d asked him a few years earlier, he would have given the same answer - BUT THAT’S CHARACTER GROWTH AND WE LOVE IT.
And you know what? Finding out that the fallout of this wasn’t as bad as it could have been - that it sucked and it was an invasion of privacy and it did cost them some things - but ultimately led to them growing closer? That they gained more from it than they lost? That’s not quite worth the invasion of privacy, but it helps to soothe the sting. They made the most out of a horrible situation. They weathered the storm together, and while it’ll never be truly behind them, they can still move forward and that’s all that matters.
This was perfectly written. Perfectly handled. Perfectly presented. You could feel how much they love and respect each other in every word of it. You can feel exactly what they feel about the violation of their privacy. You know that it’s eating up both of them - but that it’s going to pass. It’s only natural to question everything when your entire world is shattered, but they don’t have to question each other anymore, and that’s important.
I’m sure I’ll find other things to screech about in the near future, but you nailed this, and I cannot wait to read more of your Dieter - whether it’s this one or a different one. Please don’t ever doubt your writing abilities again, Alyssa. This did not feel like 8k. This smut was great. The characterization was on point without stunting his growth. You got this right.
