#rise and grind
Good morning! Grateful that I woke up today feeling more rested than during the holidays.
I spent most of the weekend in mini-sessions for managing my headspace and healing. It has not been easy, but I do think the journey is worth it. :) Sharing with y’all this photo from one of my “clearing” art sessions. The work I do every day (studying, doing research, and designing) relies a lot on details, so I enjoyed doing the complete opposite and living in the calm brought by painting the sky and water. It feels great to release the heavy energy and let the light in! I hope I can keep these little rituals throughout the year and beyond.
✿ ICYMI: January 2021 calendar wallpapers are up on my Ko-fi shop!
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50 million views on my gifs! ✨ Not a numbers person on social media, but this is unreal (and super cool!) Thank you for the love and for helping me reach a creative milestone! I had a lot of fun making these and I’ll continue to release more gifs soon.
To use my gifs on Instagram via the GIF tab, search: arialligraphy
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6 a.m. wake up time + 10-minute meditation + breakfast // Ready for what today brings! (Hopefully, it brings like, three to five sentences because I am stuck with revising some parts of my thesis. Please, universe, please.)
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How Are You?
“I’m okay.”
At least that’s what I tell you
and what I tell myself
Because for as long as I can remember,
there’s been this odd feeling
deep, deep, deep inside of me
that I can’t quite explain
and it wouldn’t go away
Some days it consumes me
downplays even the littlest of the good things that happened to me
It’s as if I deserve this
and I have no right to be happy
I am easily irritated
I push people away
even if all I wanted was to call out their name
and ask them to stay
But what frustrates me the most
is that I no longer appreciate
all of the things that made my worries dissipate
I look at art; I used to make art
because art is supposed to make you feel something
But how is that even possible now
when the void only keeps on growing
and at the end of the day, you still feel like you’re missing something?
That’s why I say I’m “okay”
Two letters or four,
however you spell it
It looks simple and easy
It doesn’t ask any questions
It doesn’t take much out of my depleting energy
And that’s what I want right now —
what I think I need
Some people see past my fictitious testimonies,
my false confidence, false smile, false laugh
So it looks like I’m not succeeding
in the illusion that I keep conjuring
They tell me to man up and to stop overthinking
They tell me to snap out of it; there are bigger problems than my own
Gee, Karen, I didn’t know it was that easy! I should have thought about that sooner
Now, I think you’ve cured me!
I look around me and see how people can just simply be happy
My friends are going to med school,
they’ve defended their thesis,
they sleep in on weekends,
they have time to watch a movie
It looks like things come to them so naturally
Then only one thing invades my thoughts in the wee hours of the morning:
why can’t that be me?
Deep down I know that those things can be misleading;
that these people also have things that they’re keeping
We might have the same struggles,
there’s just a little difference in the details
It’s just that these bad brain days
make me feel like I’m beyond repair,
and this distorted way of thinking is here to stay
and keep me in despair
I tried everything there is:
books that help you rediscover your purpose,
catch up with my good ol’ friends,
chant while in the sitting position called “lotus”,
and redirect my focus to school things instead
I’ll admit that it somewhat helped
and suddenly, things are no longer as intense
So here I am, thinking, “Did I…just make that up in my head?”
So one day, I find myself singing again
ABBA, Beyoncé, Kanye, you name it
I’ve set my mind on grad school
I’m working on defending my thesis
You wouldn’t even believe that I got eight hours of sleep last weekend
I also just watched a whole season of good TV
I didn’t even know that the agents of SHIELD had been battling the Kree
Gosh, I don’t want this feeling to end
But that good, happy place doesn’t last
and the emptiness creeps in way too fast
I thought I’ve had a good grip on this new reality
How did I let it get taken out of my hands?
Here we go again
It’s barely been a minute since I actually felt sane
Here we go again with this random period of crippling paranoia
“Can we please chill for a minute, dear brain?”
No.
And it was there when I came to understand
why people jumped in front of moving trains,
why they threw themselves off buildings,
why some chose to drink the night away
— a quick fix
Acting as quickly as the void that swallowed them whole;
as quickly as their desire to put it all to an end
They say that the truth will set you free;
they say it’ll bring about inner peace,
help you go to bed and finally get a good night’s sleep
but there are always two sides of the same coin
and we rarely talk about the other story,
the one where the truth can be filled with pain and agony
the one that makes us feel that we’re locked up in a box
and then suffocated by a bag full of life’s atrocities
I wish more people would see this truth
that I’m still me and you’re still you
that we are not the demons inside our minds
that every day is a fight to no longer be slaves of the pain we feel inside
I long for the day
where I could be honest
look you in the eye, take a deep breath, and say,
“The truth is, I am not okay.”
I wrote this spoken word poetry piece in the quiet of the morning in my favorite café. All 827 words in under 20 minutes. There were no tears shed in the process of writing and practicing until today, where I broke down mid-performance in front of my literature professor and 16 of my classmates. I guess it was only then and there where I really felt every word I uttered. I was so focused on extracting those feelings and putting them into words, I neglected to understand what they meant. So here I am, back in the café, coming to a realization that there’s still so much pain left inside of me, even if for the past few days I feel like I’m finally getting back on my feet. It’ll probably take a little bit more effort (and maybe even that spiritual retreat next week) to achieve some sort of inner peace, but I’m glad I made this progress of acknowledging my truth today.
If you ever find yourself resonating with this piece, I wish I could surround you with fluffy clouds, cute lil’ bunnies, and all the good things. If you need a friend, my inbox is open 24/7.
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A little throwback to one of my planner spreads from November 2017. This was taken during finals season, but my to-do list for this week already looks a lot like this hahaha How’s everyone’s week going?
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I accidentally set up my alarm for a normal school day (four am ) because I thought I had classes. So here I am, munching on some cereal and finishing my paper for experimental psychology at six in the morning. #letsdothis
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Another early morning study session! (I just realized that I am not as enthusiastic as this when it comes to my 07:30 am classes)
I’m really loving the cover of my ring-bound reviewers. I just finished archiving most of my school files and I plan to have them bound like the one in the photo. Goodbye, boring, plain paper! Hello, cute covers that I actually want to look at!
Photo credit: Seamless flower pattern by DaryaGribovskaya
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Uploading new photos and prepping for another chem revision session. Cheers to a productive morning!
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Good morning! I’m in the college library for an early study session. I got the whole place to myself, so I’m looking forward to spending the next couple of hours in peace and quiet.
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I’ve been awake since two in the morning so I ended up planning out the entire week! I’m looking forward to getting all those tiny boxes ticked! #HelloMonday
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Definition of Terms
Wouldn’t it be nice to compile all those terms and concepts you have to learn into one neat sheet?
How can I make the most out of this printable?
The third column of the printable labeled “How to remember the term” encourages you to associate the concepts you’re learning to something you are already familiar with in order to improve memory retention. As Julie Neidlinger (2014) put it, “We remember things better by what they are associated with, not by what they are.” So whether it’s a much simpler, synonymous word or a funny story you remembered, if it’s going to help you understand a concept better, write it down!
Options:
Terms and Definitions (with cells set to a height of 0.5″, 1″, or 1.5″)
Terms, Definitions, and Formulas (with cells set to a height of 1″)
Download link: Google Drive
A tagged snapshot of your computer, phone, or study space using these printables will be very much appreciated. (Use #thearialligraphyproject or #arialligraphy!)
Need help? Check out how I used this printable during one of my study sessions by clicking this link!
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August 2015 Freebies
Hello, everyone! Many thanks for all the kind words about my first printable! I hope you’ll enjoy using this month’s freebie: a monthly calendar!
I’ve made several options for you to choose from:
- a standard calendar layout (with the week starting on a Sunday)
- a standard calendar layout (with the week starting on a Monday)
- a list layout, where you can write your goals for the month, jot down some notes, and have a longer space to write for each day. Oh, it also has a motivational quote to keep you going throughout the month!
The design is also highly customizable but it can stand alone with its clean black and white scheme!
Download links:all files
+ I’d love to see how you use these freebies in your day-to-day activities! Please tag me on Instagram @arialligraphy or use #arialligraphy / #thearialligraphyproject here on Tumblr so that I can feature your post!
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Posting this from the comfort of my bed. I decided to jot down my to-do list for today before getting breakfast.
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Mom: You’re such a pen hoarder! Some of your pens are already running out of ink! Why don’t you dispose them or buy a refill instead of struggling with them and keeping them in your drawer?
Me: I believe that all pens should be able to live their ink life to the fullest.
Mom: Oh, I see. So you’re not a pen hoarder. You’re a crazy pen lady.
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