#rkashe

do it for the girls,

rkashe​:

(…)

jisoo’s utmost honesty comes out, and luna nods along. “i think you would fit well,” but maybe she’s biased. couldn’t anyone that wanted to be a part of the group fit, so long as they were willing to put the effort in to do so? jisoo was a good actress, too. luna had faith she could pull off any concept, even if she hated it. “but that would mean someone would have to leave, probably, and that isn’t ideal,” she laughs lightly. “but maybe seo jisub would want to add someone randomly. there used to be more members of luxe than there are now. it could be nice.” she already has a close friend in naeun in the group. having jisoo join her would be a dream.

luna smiles back. she has half a mind to ask her if she wants to skip training altogether. maybe, in the end, luna hasn’t changed that much after all. she doesn’t, though, and instead just smiles. “i’m worth getting in trouble for anyway, right?”

“right? i used to always want to head out but now i’m just—” she waves a hand in the air as she tries to find the right word to say. “—a homebody. there must be a really good reason before i can be encouraged to go out.” her youthful years were so exuberant and filled with experiences she would never think to go revisit today. so much has changed within the span of ten years; it was hard to believe that she used to do the things she did. jisoo supposes her teenaged self could not ever comprehend where she would be today too, if only she knew. her goals were so linear and just pointed to that one thing. now, it seems farther from her reach. was her decision to choose an idol company instead of an acting one the catalyst? perhaps, but she really was clouded by the fear that this was the only way. she supposes she would never know otherwise. “please, that would be wonderful. i would love to bring you to watch my only source of entertainment these days.” she smiles.

she casts the other a teasing glance —one that so very few people in her life gets to see— before asking her question. “why? what conspicuous places have you been visiting lately?” it was probably difficult that she had to be mindful of the fact that everywhere she goes, people might recognize her. freedom of mobility is limited then, especially if luna is the type to care about remaining invisible when she wants to.

“i definitely didn’t.” it was certainly an unexpected move from the company, but one that she believes they were correct in making. “i always thought sphere had you under their lock. i did not think they would ever let you go.” the negotiations must have been intense since she believes the other company would not just let go of one of their trainees whom they invested so much into just like that. either way, their loss was royal’s gain. jisoo could not imagine anyone else assimilating into the group as effortlessly as luna did. at least from an outsider’s point of view, it seems that she fit in amazingly well. 

“thank you but i agree, i think another member would have to leave for that to happen and it wouldn’t be the best.” perhaps the fans wouldn’t take too kindly to another lineup change, especially if she were to end up not being up to par to the skills of the others. either way, it would not seem like it would happen anyway. the group is already doing so well and she’s positive seo jisub would not want to shake what they already built. “who knows really, right? in the meantime, i would just take comfort in the fact that we will be sister groups in the future. they might even be endeared to our close friendship.” she says, the thought making her smile.

 jisoo nods her head as she looks at the older female with absolute affection. “of course you are, you will always be.” she laughs. “besides, you are the best person to get in trouble with so i can’t really complain.”

do it for the girls,

rkashe​:

(…)

seeing jisoo here, and hearing her mention home makes her think of everyone she’s fallen out of contact with, and everyone out of her reach. she thinks of being away from her family for seven years, and how much her siblings have grown up without her, even with all of their video calls. the twins were still children when she left for seoul, and now they’re the age she was when she moved in the first place. it’s almost incomprehensible how quickly time flies, and how this city has managed to hold her down so long when the 18 years beforehand were spent on airplanes, traveling from city to city, not committing to anything. she’ll have to video call the rest of her family too as soon as she can. with luxe’s crazy schedule, they’ve fallen off a bit.

jisoo feels like family of a sort too, as many of her friends that survived luna’s journey across seas and countries do. she would love to have her in luxe with her, but maybe her friend makes a point when she says she wouldn’t fit. luna can imagine it well, but she trusts jisoo’s judgment, and she says the words without bitterness, so luna knows she must really mean them. then again, she doubts jisoo would sugarcoat any of her feelings with her, even if she did want her spot in luxe. “who knows what could happen,” she comments with a shrug, realizing the vagueness of the statement, but it’s true. who among them can guess royal’s future plans? she’s glad to hear jisoo is doing well enough, though. her lips quirk up in a tiny smile. “that’s good. not the restless part, but, you know.” it’s just part of training sometimes; they both know that.

“do you have anywhere else to be right now? am i going to get you in trouble?” she laughs, although she doubts jisoo will mind much regardless.

if it were up to her, she would have loved to meet with luna every few days or so. definitely not every day because aside from the fact that the older is incredibly busy, jisoo does not want for her to get tired of her presence that easily. quite frankly, she enjoys the feeling of being missed just as much as feels it for others. the pleasure of seeing each other after awhile makes the reunion a lot more cherished. “i’m really not. aside from the normal training hours, i do not get up to a lot these days other than the occasional treat where i watch musical theatre.” she answers thoughtfully. “i don’t know if it’s a by-product of getting old or just because i have awful stamina but staying at home has been my favorite after work activity.”

she doesn’t quite know when that started to happen but maybe homebodies truly know a thing or two about what they are saying when they say that everything is better at home. “although of course when you’re free, i would love to meet up somewhere else. i think it would be nice to hang out outside of the company.” someplace where they do not have to feel restricted and where they can talk and lounge more languidly. besides, she thinks it would feel more nostalgic if they were to go out. like old times but in this case, in an entirely different city. “we can go to inconspicuous spots, i’m sure there are a lot around here.”

jisoo laughs a little as she nods her head in agreement. “that’s true, we never really know what kind of plans they would pull out.” it can be just about as shocking as their past decisions or not at all but she supposes that is a part never being in the know. they are left to make assumptions only to be railroaded by something else entirely. “it would be nice to be a part of the group though, i’m not going to lie.” she says after some consideration. “i mean you and seolhyun are there so it wouldn’t be completely unfamiliar but aside from that, i think it would be great to finally witness the fruit of my labor. just to let me know i’m actually doing something worthwhile here.” those were the full and honest extent of her thoughts; words she’s unafraid to let go only because it’s luna who she’s sharing it with. 

“it’s okay. i think can stick around for a couple more minutes.” she smiles. the worst they can do if they catch her slacking off would probably be just a few extra rounds at the treadmill or whatever they can concoct for her that day.

do it for the girls,

rkashe​:

luna can’t keep the smile off her face, so genuinely happy to see jisoo. it almost feels like relief– the appearance of this familiar face that always brings comfort. she loves being an idol, but the near-constant movement can be chaotic. sometimes she wonders if she ever really adjusted to the relocation from her apartment with eve across the street from sphere to royal and the luxe dorms. there’s all of that, yet here’s jisoo, always a reliable presence. “we should definitely find time to hang out more, even if it’s just during training,” she says, with a nod. now that she’s here, she thinks of all the friends she’s fallen out of contact with, and it weighs heavy on her heart. (she should text jennie.)

put on a good show. it makes luna laugh for some reason. “you could say that. thank you,” more laughter. “it wasdifferent,” and fun. luna usually isn’t the most empathetic, but in this moment, there’s a brief worry that it hurts jisoo to talk about debut while she’s been rotting under royal for years now. part of her wants to say something like maybe they’ll add you to luxe and we’ll be in a group together, but she might jinx them. that might mean a loss of another member, and she loves the luxe girls as they are now. maybe royal will add a member without losing one? maybe luna is just too greedy. already knowing naeun when she arrived as a member of luxe is enough.

“very true,” she laughs again, and flips her hair like jisoo did moments prior. luna has never lacked in confidence, and neither has jisoo. it’s just another reason she loves her. it’s another grin, perhaps driving jisoo’s point home; she ishappy. “i thought royal was smart when they bought out my contract, but here they are leaving you jobless. they’re stupid after all.” she shakes her head. “how are you, though? other than royal being stupid.”

“we should. it was such a pleasant surprise finding you here. if you were anyone else, i think i would have just left immediately.” because she does not really hang out with a lot of people. as a creature of familiarity and habit, she mostly sticks to the company of the other girls. she supposes it was just her luck that her best friends are also her fellow trainees. despite her ability to adapt well socially, she can’t quite figure out how things would be if she did not have lisa or rose here with her. “oh god, this reminds me. i brought you something from home when i went back a couple of months ago. i keep forgetting to bring it here.” a lapse on her part that she’s willing to confess to.

seeing luna practically glow with happiness makes her wonder if she would ever wear the same feeling once she reaches that point. as someone who never quite dreamed of becoming an idol, she thinks she would be immune to that feeling. that she would be an exception because performing like so isn’t exactly what drives her every day. although as she takes a piece from luna’s words, she supposes that feeling comes from the adoration of your audience; of your fans. how it’s through their reception that warmth flows through you and gives you an insurmountable amount of satisfaction. what she would give to feel that kind of support someday.

jisoo laughs a little then promptly mellows down with a shake of her head. “i suppose they are capable of that kind of duality. it’s okay, though i don’t think i would have been a good fit anyway.” there’s no sadness to her tone, just a plain acceptance of facts. at the very least, she truly did not think she can embody luxe as wonderfully as luna did. she was meant for it. “honestly, i’m doing okay. starting to feel a little restless but surprisingly powering through. hopefully, i can stick that out.”

do it for the girls,

rkashe​:

luna loved jisoo. their friendship went back years and across oceans, a friendship that stood strong even across distance and lack of communication. luna liked to think they were friends no matter how long they went without talking. she’ll always consider jisoo one of her closest friends, and it felt so good to hug her, a physical representation of the closeness of their friendship. “i missed you!” she told her, cheery, a phrase that truly had so much weight for luna said so lightly. she wasn’t one for vulnerability, even with things she meant so sincerely. jisoo knew that about her.

“it was slippery,” she agreed with a nod. “but it was hot too, so the water was nice. the fans probably enjoyed watching us get soaked, and i imagined that, and it made it even more fun. maybe that’s why my fancam went viral.” maybe it was all about mindset. she would have to keep their fans in mind more often. hopefully it would bring her higher view counts.  

how was she? it took a moment of consideration, interrupted by laughter at good old friend. “you make that sound like we’re so old,” she groaned, and really, for the idol industry, she kind of was. not as ancient as some, but…antique, maybe. “i’m good,” she answered honestly, with a wide smile, utterly honest, as luna usually was. she loved luxe. she loved living as an idol– all of the preparation for their songs, all of the performances, all of the fans. she wasn’t sure whether to boast about it in front of jisoo or not. the mention of sphere didn’t even sting as much as it used to, but it subdued her smile just a little. “it was hard, but i’m glad i came. i love luxe.”

it goes without saying that the both of them are not typically for emotional vulnerability. jisoo typically has her own affections tucked away in the enclosures of her heart, shown only in subtle actions where one needs to look closer to be able to witness it. what she never says in words she follows through with action and that has always been the case with her. this time, she thinks they can both afford to hear it. after all, they see each other so infrequently that actions alone cannot simply make up for lost time. “i missed you too. it’s been too fucking long.” the words spilled out of her lips and she smiles. 

the trainee flips her hair as she walks further inside the room, pulling out a chair to sit on, and getting comfortable because she knew she will be here for awhile. even though technically, she should not. “i can see the appeal.” pursing her lips, she continues. “you put on a good show and it must be nice for your fans to see you and the group in an unusual setting.”

a lot of people typically vie for a semblance of change; an illusion that they’re doing something new. jisoo supposes a stage where the performers were showered on would be one of those things keeping their fans at their feet. laughing a little, she waves her hand. “i take it back, we’re definitely not old. withering people are not supposed to look this good.” at twenty-four and without the professional career she’s dreamed of, it does feel like she’s losing time most days. she comforts herself with the reminder that time is relative; especially when they’re still waiting for a talent as good as hers. “i’m glad. you do glow with the kind of happiness that comes with loving what you’re doing. i’m very happy for you.”

do it for the girls,

rkashe​:

luna adores the luxe girls. truly, she feels overwhelmingly blessed she got to debut with the group she did, surrounded by the friends that are starting to feel like a certain kind of sisterhood. she loves them! it’s just that sometimes, she needs a little privacy. luna, always a wandering soul, needs a little change from time to time, even if that change happens to be a royal entertainment practice room opposed to the bedroom she shares with naeun. 

she has a bag of chips she smuggled in in her training bag and her phone, and when jisoo finds her, it’s in the transition between her call to her little sister and switching to playing a mobile game. she looks up, instinctively moving to hide her snacks, before she realizes who it is, and she grins on sight, too. she springs up, and as soon as jisoo is done bowing, nearly tackles her in a hug. it’s a tight one, warm, as if it’ll make up for time they shouldn’t have lost now that they’re both in the same company, but somehow did anyway.

when she pulls away, jisoo mentions the viral fancam, and luna laughs. she flips her hair over her shoulder, head held high. “i know,” she replies, and really, she does. luna rarely lacks in confidence, and she did watch that fancam. a couple times. she knows she looked good, and boy, she worked hard to look that good. a viral fancam is what she deserves. “that festival was fun. somehow i’m not surprised a fancam of me during it went viral at all. i feel like a fancam of anyone would, but you know, odds were higher that it would be me.”

not a lot of people had witnessed her laugh unabashedly, yet luna was perhaps one of the few people who have seen it in abundance. as she was tackled in a warm embrace, jisoo cannot help the merry laughters that spilled from her lips. wrapping her own arms around the older girl, she squeezes once; a pleasant reminder of being comfortable in another person’s presence. reuniting with her closest friends have often been an affair to remember but especially this one, as it was long overdue.

luna’s happiness and her upbeat personality was infectious—it has always been. her confidence was a sight to see and jisoo’s filled with pride as she thinks about how this life suits her a great deal. thinking about how she has waited a long while for this opportunity makes the realization even sweeter in her eyes. the thought makes her reminisce about simpler times; of late nights spent roaming the streets of chicago and of teenage debauchery outgrown over the years. who would have thought they will be here several years later? certainly not her. 

“the festival does look fun. you made it appear so effortless. i mean, i would not have thought that performing while soaking wet would be a happy affair.” most likely not for her but then again it was not as though she would have much of a choice if she were in that position. thankfully, she wasn’t. “anyway, how are you? how is the idol life treating my good old friend?” she is making it sound as though they have lived through decades together. although given that they have travelled through oceans and still managed to meet made it seem like so. “not going to lie, i think royal taking you out of sphere’s noses was the best decision they’ve made yet.”

@rkashe

in theory, she should not be walking around the halls of the company without a sense of urgency. she should have been holed up in a practice room, doing god knows what else to make sure that she will be performing well for the end of the month evaluations. after doing that perpetually over the last few days, it can be argued that she’s exhausted. she is in desperate need of a break. even if the said break she is looking for would just be for a few pathetic couple of hours.

yet of course there is nowhere else to go in this building. she would have gone outside but the weather was too alarmingly warm. frighteningly so, as they were just in the cusp of the summer season. instead, she locates what she hopes would be an empty room and pushes it forward as she whispers prayers of luck to the heavens above.

“luna?” she asks, as soon as she sees that there was a person on the other side of the door. disappointment did not come, instead an overwhelming course of excitement traversed through her body. jisoo does not even care that she’s not alone; it just matters that luna’s here. she passes through the doorway with a smile on her lips. perhaps it was the happiest she has ever looked when it comes to greeting people. stopping a few meters away from the girl, she bows. “hello, it’s nice to meet you ashe-sunbaenim.” she greets her formally but laughs softly anyway. “look at you,” she gushes, looking at her friend proudly. “i saw your viral video when it came out. you looked exceptional.”

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ a family photo ˎˊ˗

before the start of and*roma’s schedules really picked up, sunmi figured it would be in her best interest to pay her family a visit. she had just finished recording for iqs yesterday. tomorrow would be another recording although this time it’s for return to superman. it’s a cute show. maybe she should convince her dad to try out for it. he looks good on television. although he’s not a celebrity. that would be his only hindrance at getting it.

although it’s a cute thought in her mind.

euijin’s birthday is coming up soon. because of her schedules she can’t really make it. she’ll be too tired to. she wanted to make it up to her younger sister but she knows she won’t have free time until over a month later. the timing is horrible. her dad doesn’t like having family get togethers if family is missing. that includes birthdays. though the fortunate part of this is that sunmi is going to have some free time for the twin’s fourth birthday. sometimes it sounds her to think that her dad is forty with young kids. he’s going to be retired by the time they’re sunmi’s age.

she’s greeted at the door by the kid’s yells. jenny and james both run up to her for hugs. she covers them both in kisses. her mom had a day off and her dad was at work. she greets her step mother with a hug and a kiss. the twins waddled after them both, determined to get all of their older sister’s attention. she places jenny in her lap. james is content sitting on the table next to where sunmi and jenny sat.

“your father found something interesting yesterday,” her step mom says. she has a twinkle in her eye. sunmi remembers it from her childhood. whenever she wanted to give seungie something special despite not having much money she had the same look. sunmi and seungdong would have the best days whenever seungdong’s mom had that look in her eye. they were precious memories.

“what did he find?” sunmi asks. she tried to feign disinterest by focusing on braiding jenny’s long hair. it was silky and dark. healthy. much like sunmi’s was when she was little. in fact, jenny somehow looks like euijin too despite the fact that euijin and jenny had no blood relation. maybe sunmi was just projecting because she missed out on growing up with euijin.

her step mother smiled, handing over a small stack of photos. when she was finished with jenny’s hair she grabbed them. these were just photos of her and euijin. some of them were ones that charles took. sunmi had asked him to find some because sunmi was still crafting euijin’s present. sunmi furrowed her brows. “that’s what i asked him to do. you’re saying it as if he found something cool.” her mother laughed as if she knew a secret. sunmi didn’t get it.

she got into her car, texting her manager to let him know she was on her way back to the dorms earlier than intended. he told her to be safe. before pulling off, she went through the photos her father had found. some of them he had got them printed. she could tell because they’re newer compared to the other photos. there are some photos as old as a few years ago, when sunmi had first brought euijin home. it was of them smiling and laughing. family dinners, parties and holidays since then.

and then she saw it.

this photo wasn’t as big as the others and it’s definitely older. a lot older. sunmi recognised herself from when she was a baby in the photo. her mom was in this photo too – her actual mother. her father sat next to her on the hospital bed. sunmi couldn’t be older than two in this photo. she’s tip toeing to look at her mother. her mother was holding a baby. sunmi has no recollection of this photo or this time. she didn’t even need to look at the back of the photo for the inscription. she knew what this was.

tears sprung to her eyes immediately. she couldn’t believe it. how has she never seen this? of all the things her mother kept. she swore they already saw it all. or at least, sunmi assumed so. she kept the photo close to her heart for a moment. it was so nice to see.

after taking a moment she texted her manager that she was taking a quick stop at the photo centre to do something. she had plans for a new background photo for her phone.

• ALOVE MACHINE  ━━     ﹡  、

her footsteps are light and fast as she comes bounding down the hallway from the front door, box in hand. having gotten the alert from her phone that a certain package had been delivered, naeun had excused herself from their room to grab it from the doorman. in a way, it was to avoid getting scolded again by their manager for buying miscellaneous things that took up space that was nearly nonexistent in the dorm. but naeun insisted ( in her head, at least ) that this was something all of them would like. if not, needed in their lives. with that certainty, she had bought the thing – not really thinking to ask whether the others agreed or not. 

( not that naeun expected them to turn her down or anything, but still ) 

by the time she makes it into her room, she’s plopping to the nearest bed – unfortunately it was euijin’s rather than her own – to show off what she had bought to the younger girl. “hey - hey - hey, do you want to see what i bought?” her eyebrows waggle as she goads the other one, probably disturbing her – but nonetheless, continuing to do it until she got an answer from her.