#✦ ∙ —— royal forever
◆ ‘ OH BOY ! ’CHOREO ━ 럭스 ! ∙
learning choreography has always been a grueling process for naeun.
it wasn’t that she didn’t like dancing nor that she wasn’t good at it. ( she’d like to think that she’s gotten leagues better in comparison to how she started back in 2014 ) but while their choreography wasn’t the hardest in the world, having to do it in heels all the while looking as sensual as possible always seemed to stump her. ( it was always her trying her hardest not to look constipation, and hoping that the 1% who did think she looked such a way wouldn’t comment in under the videos on youtube )
after the first comment that had said so, naeun had forcibly stopped herself from searching up comments and reviews about herself.
it was why, when they’re shown the choreography that would accompany their promotions for ‘ ah yeah ’, naeun just prayed that it wouldn’t be any harder to do in heels. and thankfully, it wasn’t. at least by naeun’s standards ( and she wasn’t an lead dancer, at that ) – to say she was able to follow the cues fairly easy was saying a lot. considering, usually, she’d be dragging nayoung or seolhyun back to the practice rooms once the choreographer had left to go over the movements again. this time, she was able to follow the movements – and go home early too!
it was weird to think about, considering how fun the ‘ oh boy ’ song turned out – she had been thinking they’d try for a more fun choreography but it paled in comparison to their ‘ ah yeah ’ choreography. which, naeun figured, was so that it wouldn’t outshine the promotional song. she shouldn’t be complaining, though ( not that she outrightly would ), if the choreography was any harder, it would mean she would be losing even more sleep than she intended.
at least this way, ahead of promotions, at least she’d get the most out of sleep that she could. ( it was one less thing to worry about )
guiding light.
rkyena .
seoyoung takes a deep breath. “yeah, i’m okay. i… i think.”
the variety show on tv had somewhat distracted her from the thoughts clouding up her mind. it’s funny to see these shows now that luxe has been on most of them, now that they’ve seen them from the other side. rather than just enjoying the comedy and the guests’ antics, now she can’t help but think of the fond memories they made there, the little things behind the camera that viewers never see. it was as good a distraction as any, until her worries become too loud to ignore.
{ tw: homophobia }
﹡ ━━ it’s a reflex, but she feels her brows dip – furrowing further at the other’s words. understanding blooms slowly, she gulps before nodding. until seoyoung spoke again, naeun wasn’t sure what to think. she didn’t want to fear the worst – but she could feel that sinking feeling at the depths of her. a part of her scared to hear what seoyoung was to say – and the memories that came with the single mention of what happened the year prior is enough to confirm naeun’s fears.
then surprise sparks, her eyes alight with the emotion. seoyoung had talked to her parents? naeun, once more, isn’t sure what to think – a dozen or so thoughts racing in her mind. had it gone well – had it gone bad? from the sound of seoyoung’s voice, her actions, naeun could only assume the latter and she swallows harder, her hand moving quick to wrap itself around seoyoung’s to give her a light squeeze.
“it isn’t right.” all she wanted to do was wrap the other in her arms, and give her that familial love that her family couldn’t. it hurt that they would go to such lengths to hurt the younger girl. “they’ve hurt you so much, they shouldn’t be allowed to call themselves parents.” they’re a disgrace, she wants to say but refrains.
naeun closes her eyes at the confirmation – at the words that leave seoyoung’s lips ; it brings an anger, a frustration to naeun’s core. much like before, naeun feels disbelief at the audacity seoyoung’s parents had. how could they treat their daughter in such a way? it hurt naeun more, hearing that while seoyoung had taken the initiative to try – such efforts had been thrown back into her face, useless. she can feel her molars grind, her hand tightens around the other’s again. “you shouldn’t have to.” she says, shaking her head. naeun knew she was fortunate, her family would never treat her like seoyoung’s has – and it was that fact that made her all the more sympathetic to seoyoung. with a sigh, naeun levels her gaze with seoyoung’s. while afraid of what she may say, naeun asks her, softly; thumb rubbing the back of the other’s hand in comfort. “what are you going to do?”
it was euijin’s turn to have the tv that night and rather than fight her on it, naeun relented and took it upon herself to go back to the old and tested method of watching dramas – the almighty laptop. while she wasn’t sure if any of the dramas on netflix were any good, she was sure that she and seolhyun would be able to find something. it had been a while since they had binged anything together – their schedules were quite unforgiving, leaving them little to no time for all nighters that consisted of dreamy men and cute but cliche romantic scenes under the stars. alas, it was unfortunate but somehow, someway – naeun was going to make sure that they at least go through at least 2 episodes of any drama she could find tonight.
she had missed these types of nights with seolhyun, anyways.
it was practically tradition – after having started it shortly after they had begun dorming together, naeun was literally aching to squeal and cry with seolhyun over some sappy drama. and after each of them had been part of their own shows, it had made naeun even more curious about the dramas they watched. so after a time, she comes into the other’s room with her laptop in tow – already scrolling through the recommendations that netflix had pulled up onto her account. “okay, since euijin took control of the tv. we’re just going to have to make due with my computer. do you know if there’s any show on netflix that’s a good tear-jerker?”
“nayoungie ~” her voice rings into the room before she makes her appearance in the doorway ; a hand knocking on the open door. her head pops in to check if the other was in. ( luckily, she was ) unlike the other girls, nayoung had the fortune of having the only solo room in the dorm. after all the other members had moved out, and the rest of the roommates situation had been sorted, it was left to nayoung’s capable hands. after having gone over the schedule, again, with the manager ( something about how naeun had to be more on top of her members or something like that – as if naeun wasn’t already feeling guilty for not doing enough the past few months ) ; naeun had made to seek out nayoung.
stepping into the other’s room, she immediately dives onto the other’s bed, seeking the warmth of the other girl. “your photoshoot with black yak is tomorrow,” she says into the other’s side as her arms wrap along the girl’s midsection. she hopes she hadn’t accidentally launched herself onto nayoung’s bed while she was taking a nap ( maybe she should have checked before doing so ) ; “are you excited?”
turning to lay on her back, she stares at the ceiling with a small sigh.
“you’ll get merch, right?” she asks lightly, glancing at the other from where she had laid down ; snuggling deeper into the other’s comforter. it wasn’t like naeun needed any new clothes – but she had been looking at the black yak site earlier that day, and while naeun wasn’t an avid sports or outdoors person, the jackets had definitelycaught her eye. not that she had come into her member’s room to ask for anything like that.
( not really )
- ALOVE MACHINE ━━ ﹡ 、
her footsteps are light and fast as she comes bounding down the hallway from the front door, box in hand. having gotten the alert from her phone that a certain package had been delivered, naeun had excused herself from their room to grab it from the doorman. in a way, it was to avoid getting scolded again by their manager for buying miscellaneous things that took up space that was nearly nonexistent in the dorm. but naeun insisted ( in her head, at least ) that this was something all of them would like. if not, needed in their lives. with that certainty, she had bought the thing – not really thinking to ask whether the others agreed or not.
( not that naeun expected them to turn her down or anything, but still )
by the time she makes it into her room, she’s plopping to the nearest bed – unfortunately it was euijin’s rather than her own – to show off what she had bought to the younger girl. “hey - hey - hey, do you want to see what i bought?” her eyebrows waggle as she goads the other one, probably disturbing her – but nonetheless, continuing to do it until she got an answer from her.
from one to another
rkella .
“I like it better than staying at home or training the whole time,” Seolhyun replied matter of factly. She saw herself as more of the active kind, or rather ambitious, wanting to take the opportunities as they came by. Like with her time filming The Heirs, or even with Dream Knight before that, there were hiding places here and there to find considering they were not needed for all hours. Has Naeun found those places in the sets they’ve laid out for them?
“I managed to keep myself busy and that distracted me from sleeping. But you also know me, I can’t just sleep anywhere. So I talked to the extras or the staff, or went to the styling trailer to try out their techniques in hair and makeup. One of the best days were when I had scenes in Bona’s bedroom and there was a bed right there. Honestly, I fell asleep there more than once. The staff would wake me up when they needed me soon, but some did tell me they tried to give me as much rest as they could too.”
Watching videos only worked for a time, because in those hours when she was the most sleepy, it would just make her eyes heavier. She hummed softly, thinking of more ideas and experiences she had during her weeks filming. “Oh, also… during my breaks, I saw some being able to bring their hobbies on set, too. One knew how to knit, so they would sit there and do it. And drawing too? Something to keep your mind occupied.”
﹡ ━━ naeun wasn’t really adept to filming sites. sure, she’s had the fortunate experience in the past. but that had been a lifetime ago – even now, she still felt it was quite surreal that she had been casted at all amongst the others who had auditioned alongside her. the only positive, that she really had thought of at the beginning of it all, was that she would get to pseudo-sing for certain parts of her scenes. that had really been the most draw to the part for her, to be honest. but now, after suffering over long nights that never seemed to end – maybe she had really been in over her head.
( was she cut out for this type of work? )
unlike seolhyun, naeun couldn’t say whether she liked it better – sure, it was different and naeun was one who liked different things. never one to stay on the same path ; but she was also a creature who adored her sleep, uninterrupted. and unfortunately, over the past few months of filming, it had really put a dent in her rem cycle. “that’s true.” seolhyun had never been one who could just sleep right away. “that was sweet of them. if only i could have a bedroom scene, maybe i could catch a few z’s. i just feel so embarrassed to sneak off to sleep – i don’t want them to think badly of me.” she frowns, fingers tugging at the edge of the lyrical sheet she had dropped into her lap.
“oh, did you? maybe i can bring something. maybe my coloring books or something, i just don’t want to seem ungrateful for the opportunity or .. i don’t know, like i don’t want to be there if i seem occupied with something else.” she still wasn’t quite sure what was the appropriate decorum with things like these. sure, her co-workers had tried their best to make her feel comfortable ; but it was still hard to not be intimidated by those who had leagues of experience from her whenever she got to set. “i wish someone i knew got casted with you, you were lucky to have ariel and jonghyun.”
her shoes clatter in the entryway to announce her arrival. it’s odd to see it so empty – most of their members had gone home for the chuseok holiday, after all – leaving only naeun and seoyoung at the dorm. not that it was a bad thing, it left them time to spend with each other and as naeun had promised, she would never want to leave any of her members by themselves if she could help it. it was fortunate that naeun’s closest relatives were in seoul, anyways, so it saved on the crazy traffic it would take her to go back to busan and her penchant for unbroken promises. she makes it home by seven, having stopped by one of the rare restaurants that hadn’t closed down for the holiday to pick up some food for her and seoyoung ( a bundle of half and half chicken to go with the side dishes and songpyeon her grandmother had given her before she had left their picnic that afternoon ) .
“seoyoung-ah, are you here?” she tries to fix her shoes the best she can, not wanting their manager to come in and see the mess in the doorway in the morning, before making her way to the kitchen to set down the bags that were achingly weighing her arms down. ( she could already feel the spikes of numbness in her biceps ) she pats her hands clean on the dish towel by the sink before moving about to remove the containers from the bags. “have you eaten yet? i brought food like i promised!”
there’s been a lot weighing on seoyoung’s mind lately. no matter how many times the members have been there for her, all the struggles they’ve gotten through together, there’s still a small cloud of hesitation hanging over her. does she reallywant to burden them with her problems when they’re already working so hard?
at the end of a long day, seoyoung sees the dark circles under her eyes in the mirror and remembers the much greater danger of keeping things bottled up. that brings everyone down. and she really can’t go on without someone to talk to. she’ll tell juyeon soon enough, but first she wants to talk to naeun. she’s nothing if not the perfect leader, always kind and strong, willing to listen. she’ll know what to do.
that’s how they find themselves in a cozy corner of the common area, seoyoung rubbing her palms hard over her face, trying to keep herself calm and composed. “i’m thinking…” she trails off, then huffs, frustrated that the words won’t come out easily. “i’m thinking of changing my name.”
﹡ ━━ finally she had time to catch up on her shows. on a casual night at home, she was happy to be watching some shows on late-night television with seoyoung. it had been months since they have properly seen each other in the dorm. it’s been a time naeun had missed. thankful for the time, she enjoys the quiet between them ; eyes trained on the show they were currently watching.
she hums at attention when she hears seoyoung’s voice over the comedic relief of the variety show they were watching; turning her full attention to seoyoung rather than watching the other carefully from the corner of her eye ( like she had been doing since seoyoung had joined her on the couch ). “oh?” her hand that had been nonchalantly holding the remote moves to lower the volume so she can hear seoyoung better. her words confuse naeun but rather than suddenly question it – naeun nods her head, allowing the other to continue. “did something happen for you to want to change it?” she asks at first, a tentative hand reaches out to carefully pat the other’s ; assuring her of her presence.
it’s been a crazy few months – and naeun suddenly feels her own absence in the dorm. since she had been so busy filming her drama, she had lost sight of her other duties in her group. she wasn’t just a vocalist in luxe but also their leader – and for the most part, for naeun, that meant being the pillar they could lean on if they ever had anything that troubledthem.
“are you okay?”
◆ THE FIRST FULL ALBUM RECORDING ━ 럭스 ! ∙
naeun has always enjoyed their recording days.
if she was being honest, she looked forward to them ( more than she did the days where they worked on choreography ). years later, and naeun still wasn’t the strongest dancer – while she could keep up with nayoung and seolhyun, it was obvious they were are two different playing fields when it came to skill. and naeun wasn’t one to challenge the likes of nature versus nurture. ( not that she nurtured her dancing skill all too well and it was fine, naeun wasn’t here to be the main dancer anyways )
she was the main vocal of her team and she enjoyed being the main vocal.
after months of doing something she wasn’t particularly skilled in – coming back to her roots like this was like a nice warm embrace. if she could call anything home – aside from the obvious things she would much rather call home – she would think the recording studio was a close second to anything else.
numberone was obvious in her eyes but that was a little secret only for her and her closest friends to know. it was such a shame, even if luxe’s dating ban was up ( at least most of luxe, it was unfortunate that nayoung and euijin still had to wait until their two years were done ), naeun didn’t want to risk mason’s contract again. he had done so once before – and this time, naeun didn’t want to be the cause again.
she couldn’t do that to him.
not when he seemed happier where he was now.
much like she, as she’s rustling through the papers that she had carefully nitpicked with her pink highlighter and purple gel pen – the notes, the carefully written corrections in her ugly scrawl of a handwriting all made naeun feel happier.safer? in a way – like this is where she had been waiting to be all year.
dramatic, yes – considering they had been in the recording studio if not just months prior for up & down, this was different.
this was their full album. after two years as an idol, a full album was a gift. something to show off their hard work for their fans – and naeun couldn’t wait to get started on working on it. while the title song wasn’t anything to slouch about – it had the same vein as ‘up & down’ and naeun didn’t seem to mind it. even if up & down had taken her a while to get used to, the vibe of the song wasn’t too bad.
especially considering the slight backlash they had received from supposedly being too sexy for broadcast – she was glad that they wanted to continue to ride the success of up & down. it was a different type of virality that naeun hadn’t seen in her first two years, it was nice. more people were listening to luxe and it was a compliment, if anything – at least that was what the company liked to think.
ever the optimist.
she can only wish for the same success for ah yeah.
for now, as she slides the headphones onto her ears – naeun was fine with singing to her heart’s content. it had been months, anyway.
( really, she missed this )
◆ ‘ THE PRODUCERS ’ WRAP PARTY ━ 럭스 ! ∙
theproducers has come to an end.
with the show playing in the background, naeun is finally given a taste of what months of filming has brought to fruition. having spent most of the airing avoiding watching her own work out of embarrassment, she’s faced with the flaws in her work despite the praise the director have showered upon her at the time.
she notices the stiffness in her acting for what it is for – growth for the next time.
huh, the next time? that had been a weird thought – after all, hadn’t naeun initially believed this would be a one and done opportunity? hadn’t she bargained with her manager that she hoped to receive more vocal challenging opportunities from now on?
the thought plagues her as she thanks one of the staff for another helping of meat placed onto her plate. was this something she wanted to continue doing? while neither the place nor time to be contemplating life decisions, the atmosphere does have her in a weirdly pensive mood. while she hadn’t absolutely abhorred the filming schedule, nor the mood of which the staff had placed their filming site, naeun had never really found herself accustomed to the idea of becoming an actress while working as an idol.
thelong hours, themselves, were outlandish and by morning the dark circles had made her skin routine cry a river. ( but eventually, she had worked through it )
like all things, they had took time for her to get used to – but by the end, she realizes: it was an opportunity that she was glad to have taken. ( while it wasn’t the opportunity, it was still a nice change of pace and hadn’t she always been attracted to that chance in consistency? a jumpstart of adrenaline – where she wasn’t sure where life would take her? maybe that was why she needed this role ) and a part of her would missit.
the question of whether she would do it again was still up in the air but for now – naeun was thoughtful for the future. if she was granted a chance again, perhaps she’d grab it once more.
◆ HAIR SALON TRIP _ 0822 ━ 럭스 ! ∙
it’s been months since she’s properly had her hair dyed. after years of constant retouching – the last year had been a rebreather for her severely damaged tendrils, it seemed. not that naeun had minded all that much. with filming for the producers – she hadn’t needed any specific hairstyle or color that was consistent with the role so going from black and staying black seemed simpler for her as well as the stylists on the film team.
with the show coming to an end this month, naeun had thought she’d feel saddened. having gotten used to the routine of waking up to be lugged towards the day’s set was something she had welcomed in the last few months leading to the airing. but now, naeun was just excited to be moving onto the next phase of the year.
while she couldn’t enjoy the fruits of their last comeback promotions, naeun was all on board to stay focused on what new things royal was to offer them in terms of a comeback. while unsure of just when that new comeback would be – she was more than sure it would be soon if the trip to the salon meant anything by it.
usually changes in hair color and style had a strict time restraint of when comebacks could be applied.
so, by the time she finds herself sliding into the usual chair at their salon, her fingers are wringing in anticipation. her first question to the stylist is –
“so what color am i in for this time?”
she doesn’t have any outlandish expectations. the last time her hair had been extremely colored she had been a red head and that was fun. the stylist fixes her with an impish gaze before revealing the color board to her – her hands immediately trail upon the writings of their team before landing on her name.
huh,brown. oddly enough, it was a color naeun hadn’t really expected. while ordinary ( which was probably the reason why she had never done it in the past ), it was still something new and naeun was fine with that.
