Sobriety at its worst

The sobriety that is but isn’t by choice , like you want to be sober so that’s what you do , you leave state , where you know literally maybe 2-3 people , you get sober and at first you enjoy it , but technically you don’t have to be sober so the day comes that you then want to venture out and find some good ice to get twacked out of your mind . But since your in a different state it’s almost like your completely alone on an unknown island in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle . Near impossible . Then you find other fellow tweakers , although none of which live in a reasonable driving distance from you . & don’t forget you flew to this state you don’t have a vehicle yourself and all the vehicles at the house your staying are manual & you can’t drive a stick to save your life , not to mention you’ve never drove in the snow a day in your life so even if there was an automatic you’d still be pretty much fucked . But let’s keep in mind , the fact that the people you do know don’t do nor ever have done drugs a day in their lives so it’s not like they are of any help what so ever .

So after 2&½ years , today marks day 50 . 50 days without using a needle to get high . Only smoking , and a hot rail here and there . It’s very different but I can say one thing that surprised me is that I don’t even crave it , not at all . Not to mention that I live in a house with 3 adults , and all of them use a needle to get high daily . & I’m perfectly fine when they use in front of me , it doesn’t make me want it , or crave it like I’ve heard other recovering addicts talk about . Anything is possible , and if you want it you just have to go out and get it/do it . I’m not saying that anyone is wrong for using or they way they use . Although sometimes things go a little too far & you look back and it’s been 2&1/2years of daily needle use and most of the time it was multiple times a day , of which the size of the shot was AT LEAST a half gram .

So anyways , 50 days clean of the needle my fellow tweakers , and damn proud . So cheers to that , bout to light up my torch and break in my new baby a bit more .

Rise n grind ! The early bird gets the shards ! Tweak Tweak !