This thing is a monster…. 

Just bring a little naughty ;)
Girls if you’d like to chat hmu on kik
@ sn0wf1re

Aesthetic as fuck.. I’ve lived in a lot of different style tweaker pads.. Like think 3 story Victorian mansion with 20 ppl living together, think a high end prostitutes mothers basement where we weren’t allowed to make a singe noise, think a paranoid control freak with locks on the inside and out if all doors and windows that had cartel gentlemen running through his house daily. One thing I’ve realized in all this time is that I can deal with anything as long as I have a properly in order space for myself, a “mind palace” if you will.. I love cleaning and organizing while fucked up. Love aesthetic and vibes and candles and essential oils and getting high and putting shit all in order and getting more high and doing art in my space. I can’t stand dirty.. Cluttered.. Stuff everywhere. It’s cool if it’s someone else’s place but my space has always had a minimalist flow to it

Baby Cat(zoey) is my girlfriend baby girl

Golly bud, this was back when I lived in Colorado, I was taking a break.. Spent 3 days in these Jammie’s just sleeping and cuddling little miss furry paws. Ate like an entire Fucking flat of ramen noodles hahaha my lovely roommate of the time kept coming into my room and feeding me lines of cocaine so I’d talk to her for a little bit before going back to sleep(5 years ago, coke was my love before I’d ever met Meth) Now that shit has barely any effect on me at all.

A drawing Id done on an envelope for mothers day last year and never got around to sending. Does anyone else struggle with communication in the worst way. I can barely answer a text or phone call, hell my phones usually dead or broken. I imagine what I’d say to people if I answered them and then go over and over it, rehearsing and breaking down what I’d say to the point that I end up just having conversations with myself. I’ve written thousands of letters, post, cards, drawings, all laced with purpose and passion yet I’ve only sent out one out of every ten of those. Haha maybe it’s the thought that counts and the positive energy I thought up will find its way back to them somehow. Maybe it’s better they don’t hear my overly enthusiastic, desperate tweaker letters, example follows; Dear Grandma!! I love love love you to death and appreciate every single ounce of skin on your frail sweet time telling tale of a body! Sorry to hear your arthritis is acting up, damn fuck that can be a bitch I bet, damn grams YOU OUGHT TO TRY SILICA OR ALKASELTZER! Do you take alkaseltzer daily to PH your body!? Wow maybe I will come visit you soon, I was thinking of leaving this state and moving along with only a backpack to (Insert dry little town in the desert) because I hear that they have the loveliest most perfect oasis to hike out to! Going to the gym and swimming could help your arthritis! Omg wouldn’t that be dope. I’ll come swim round and get you for a swim, ok grams? Love YOUUUU. *every inch of paper that is not written on is covered in a drawing of a sprawling desert scene filled with Joshua trees, prickly pear, a paradise style blue water oasis and graced with the presence of a scorpion that took me probably 4 hours alone to paint/draw/chalk* *adds a joint for good luck and since my grandmother is a religious conservative, for the “shock factor”*5 months later finds card, opens, smokes joint, thinks it may be a cool idea to collage the walls of my apartment with art.. Oh no* *still haven’t sent grandma a letter*

Ladies, you want my advice?

Be your own provider, be independent. Hustle your ass off to get what you want and don’t have to depend or ask for shit.

I faked my way into an executive chef job, didn’t know WTF I was doing, had no real experience, yet I still got the job.

Today, after just 2 weeks working non stop I walk away with this. You want something, work for it. Fuck ya sugar daddy, I am my own fairy god mother, I don’t have to beg or suck sick for a cent.

Trust me I’ve been with a sugar daddy, I’ve met the love of my life and lived on the streets, I’ve been with a sexy ass UFC fighter, I’ve pulled my weight. You wanna know what I’ve learned from my experience? A real woman attracts a real man.

A real woman will attract a real man.

Old, 2 years ago before I’d ever done Meth! Ugh after I quit using speed, I gained like 40lbs in 5 month, it’s killing me! I was 100lbs before I ever started using. I’ve never been this big before and it’s so fucked!!! So ready to get back to what I do best, get fucked up and hit the gym!

Fuck yas

Lol this is so damn cute but actually I do care so damn much!!

Anyone wanna be like a fairy god mother and come sprinkle me with angel dust!? Lol pleaseee

“if you are lost, please go home”

Interesting little bit there. Reminds me of the quote, “You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all.”-Maya Angelou. Also, Chuck Palanhiuk, “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.“ Also has shown up in Cowboy bebop, “It’s the best. Belonging is the very best thing there is.”-Faye Valentine, shortly after she says this, she discovers that her childhood home has long been gone.. In that she realizes that she never belonged to a place but to the happiness she gained from the people that were beside her and her experiences in what was once her home, thud she returns to the Bebop to be with her friends, wandering space with no permanent home, free, a vagabond, only with a home base where her heart lies, with her friends^.^ I belong nowhere, that’s why I can travel from state to state with only my pack on my back and loving vibes in my ♥

Lol this is the fat cat I live with! Only two more days till I’m back in Seattle and back to getting fucked upppp! But for now I guess cuddling this cat loaf will do.

FAT CAT YOU ARE MY WORLD

The 70s called, they literally just want me. Stonedddd, drinking tropical v8 and wine, cuddling fat-cat, watching animal house. Lol

It’s the time of the season for loving you

A painting I’d done on one of my leather skirts. This was a terrible night. My ex was upstairs getting high but wouldn’t let me out of the basement, wouldn’t let anyone sell me anything. Then he literally pretended like I didn’t exist.. Lots if other awful things happened that night but fuck it! So it’s in the past, so it is still quite painful but at least I learned something from the experience.

An actual picture of me when I used to be a man hating vegetation goddess back in the 70’s courtesy of fashion icon #MarijkeKoger

Thanks for drawing me in your clothes queen.

Anyone else ever feel a strong connection to their past or future incarnates? Sometimes I get Dejavu or like messages or thoughts or life lessons or guidance or more understanding for certain pov or situations and I swear it comes from my before and after “current me’s” life.