#so low

Advice welcome, friends.

TW depression

OK I knew early that Tom Hiddleston said episode 4 and part of 5 were going to be tough for Loki. I didn’t watch it when it came out this morning. I’ve just come onto tumblr, and clicked on a few spoiler tags to get a hint of what’s been happening. Read 2 things and it sounds yuck, bad. (I don’t mean production, acting, etc I mean heavy, bad for Loki etc) I’m thinking of not watching at all, wait a week then watch 4 and 5 together maybe.

But I am very low at the moment. A ton of stuff building up right now. I have been so depressed and bawling my eyes out. Not even with a reason, just barking tears out and a ton of abuse in my past comes to the lid, and everything, everything, my whole life behind me and all of the bad stuff now. I just bark out the sobs. I’ve been up and down, and it sounds mad to worry about a character, or a series, etc. But i don’t think I can load up on bad feelings right now.

This will mean I don’t think I can be around on here for a while either. I can feel the fandom slipping away from my fingertips. I can’t keep up and it hurts my head now.