#someone help him please
self maintenance
Loki/OFC Rated M (may go up to E in future chapters) Trigger Warnings: Angst, talk of suicide, therapy, unhealthy family dynamics, mention of torture and mind control
Loki’s plans to conquer and rule Midgard have come to a disastrous end. After being captured by the Avengers, he is being held on Earth. Odin has refused to interfere, and the outlook for the God of Mischief appear bleak. His only hope may lie in one mortal woman, a Psychiatric expert brought in to interrogate him.
Dr. Caroline Thorpe is intrigued by Loki and thinks that more lies beneath his actions than is commonly known. Can she find out the truth before he is shipped off to die for crimes against the Earth? And can Loki bring himself to care?
@yespolkadotkitty@just-the-hiddles@hopelessromanticspoonie@wine-and-whines@arch-venus25@caffiend-queen@devilish–doll@enchantedbyhiddles@hiddlesholic@i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman@kellatron55@ladyoftheteaandblood@latent-thoughts@yespolkadotkitty@maryxglz@myoxisbroken@nuggsmum@nildespirandum@pedeka@redfoxwritesstuff@sinfully-lustful-darling@vodka-and-some-sass@wrathkitty@kingtwhiddleston@wolfsmom1@poetic-fiasco@shiningloki@dangertoozmanykids101@bookworm-christina@amwolowicz@delightfulheartdream@frostbitten-written@what-a-flammable-heart@tom-hlover@nonsensicalobsessions@myraiswack@loki-yoursaviourishere@ghostypau@ms-cellanies@colorfulfreakstudentpizza@mareebird@colorfulfreakstudentpizza @szycha22@chokemedaddyloki@queenofallhobos@just-the-hiddles-reads @alwida10
The cell felt empty once more after she left. Loki tried not to let it bother him. After all, he would not be occupying it for long. He wondered if she would bother to return. He couldn’t really blame her if she did not. At his best Loki knew he was an acquired taste, and he had hardly been his most charming self with Dr. Caroline Thorpe.
It was too formal a name for the lady in question, Loki decided. Dr. Thorpe sounded stiff and proper, not like the idiosyncratic woman who had been questioning him. Such a name belonged to someone who frowned more, who lectured him on the error of his ways. Caroline had smiled at him, the first honest, uncompelled smile he had seen in over a year directed his way. She was not what he had been expecting, not that he had been expecting anything.
A movement out of the corner of his eye had Loki spinning around towards the door to his cell. An odd feeling of hope crept up in his chest. She was back, and he did not have to face the impending dark alone.
He was wrong in that. It was not the doctor standing outside his cell, but the Midgardian bureaucrat who was so keen on seeing Loki hang. A snarl on his lips, Loki sank back onto the uncomfortable bench, making himself as uncooperative looking as possible.
“Mr. Laufeyson,” the man said with an insincere smile. “Would you kindly accompany me; I have some questions for you.”
“No,” Loki said succinctly after pretending to consider the matter for a moment. Even if he had been inclined to do so before, branding Loki with the name of the father who had abandoned him killed any flicker of desire to be accommodating.
“Well then let me rephrase that,” one of the guards grunted. “Get your alien ass off the bench and come with us.”
“I’m afraid I can’t,” he sighed in regret. “I am in the middle of a therapy session, and I believe I am about to have a breakthrough.”
“I don’t see the doctor here,” the chief official made a show of looking around, as though Caroline would be hiding under the table. “Scared her off already, did you? I told her it was useless to try and get through to you.”
“On the contrary, she just went to get us sustenance. The good doctor promised to stay with me as long as I needed, all night if it pleased me.”
He didn’t know if she would be coming back or not, but he was not about to admit as much to this loathsome human. As far as Midgardians went, Caroline was the most tolerable of those he had met, and this nuisance of a man among the least. She had at least spoken to him as a person, he realized. He had appreciated that, and enjoyed the sparring back and forth they had engaged in.
“Some people just don’t know a lost cause when they see one,” the guard sneered.
“Is that what I am? A lost cause?” he stood up, using his height once more to try and intimidate. The other man was not small, but Loki was a God.
“Well, that depends on you,” the man in charge had not lost his false smile. “As I said, I have some questions for you. About some of the alien tech we recovered.”
“Well then, might I suggest you resurrect one of the Chitari and try to get answers out of them? Although I would ask nicely if I were you. They tend to view your sort as… well, food.”
In truth, Loki despised the Chitari and all they represented, but if anyone deserved to be devoured by one it was these men.
“It’s not a Chitari weapon we have questions about. Now, are you coming, or do I have to have my men drag you there?”
“Just say the word, Secretary Pierce,” the lunking guard at his side offered.
“At ease, Rumlow, I am sure our visitor can play nice.”
Not a Chitari device? Loki did his best to keep his face impassive as his mind raced. Did these fools have the tesseract here? Could he be so lucky? The metal circling his wrists might stop his own powers, but not even Asgardian shackles could stop an infinity stone. All Loki need do was grab the cube and he was free! He could go anywhere, hide in the deepest reaches of the universe where no one could find him.
“As amusing as it would be to see your witless ape try,” Loki drawled, looking over at the guard disdainfully, “I suppose it would be good to stretch my legs a bit.”
“Great. A few precautions – I’m sure you won’t mind.”
Pierce nodded to his escort and the men produced additional chains. As Loki struggled to keep his anger in check, a collar was roughly fastened around his neck by Rumlow, the larger of two guards. A second, less aggressive man hooked a chain to the cuffs binding his wrists. He endured the indignity with a snarl, hope making him less obstinate than he might otherwise have been.
When they had him bound to their satisfaction, Rumlow grabbed his chain with an unnecessary yank and they all proceeded out of the cell. It did feel good to move, and Loki strutted with all the insouciant swagger he could muster, eyes taking in every detail as he walked. Fleetingly, he spared a thought for his lovely doctor, surprised that he regretted not seeing her again. Still, freedom beckoned and he would not deny it.
“So, having difficulty, are you?“ he asked cockily as they led him down a windowless hallway. "It should come as no surprise. Such lower creatures as yourselves could never dream of comprehending, much less harnessing the infinite power it contains.”
He had to tread carefully, he reminded himself. He was almost there, almost to the prize that would render him free.
They stopped at a door just like all of the other, cold, metallic, and featureless. Pierce stepped forward and a small device Loki had not seen scanned his eye. As the door opened, Loki could just make out the steady blue gleam coming from within.
It was not the tesseract.
The center dropped out of Loki’s stomach, and he needed all of his will power not to slump against the wall. There, in some sort of technical cradle on a table in the center of the room, was his scepter. The stone in the head of the weapon shone a beckoning blue, but Loki knew better than trust it’s peaceful glow.
“We know you used this to subdue your enemies,” Pierce said, giving Loki a hard stare. “Don’t think you’re getting your hands on it now.”
Six burly guards stood around it, guns drawn, presumably to keep him away. They needn’t have bothered. Loki had never been more relieved than when the thing had been taken out of his possession. A gift, the Other had told him. A precious gift to lead armies in glorious battle. He had neglected to tell him the rest.
“So, how do we use it?” Pierce demanded.
As he looked at the scepter with loathing, Loki fought the urge to lunge for it. He was surely faster than the men guarding it, and what would they do, shoot him? Others had tried, and it had done them no good. Asgardians, even counterfeit ones born Frost Giants, were made of tougher stuff than that. He could reclaim the scepter, and in a matter of moments all of them would be dead or under his control. He would enjoy coming up with ways to kill them. In his mind he could hear them howling in pain.
And then, when the soldiers and spies surrounding him were writhing in agony, he could go and find his pretty little doctor. She had promised to stay with him until the end. Well, with the scepter making her will his own, she would have no choice but to honor her word. He could enthrall her, make her will his own. That bright smile she had flashed at him, full of lies and deceit, would be made real with one touch of the tip to her heart. Oh, the things he could do to her, with her, then.
No! Loki shook his head to clear it of the seductive malice. Caroline’s smiles had not been false. She had looked on him with genuine compassion, had tried to understand him. How could he think of turning that compassion into something twisted and false? It was the mind stone, warped by the venom of Thanos and his minions, planting these thoughts in his head.
“You don’t,” he said succinctly.
“Unacceptable.”
“The scepter holds an infinity stone,” he tried to explain as one would to a child, which was all these men were for all their hubris. “It is one of the foundational powers of the universe. In order to wield it, you need a highly disciplined mind, trained to bend it to your will. Even then, it would take you over slowly and inexorably.”
“You used it,” Rumlow scoffed.
“I am a God,” he reminded them. “I have lived and studied for over a thousand years. You are a flea compared to me. For you to even attempt to use this would destroy you. Send it to Asgard and let Odin keep it safe in his vault. Anything else is death.”
More so than he was even admitting. Loki knew who would be coming for the stone. These pathetic humans would be no match for the destruction that followed. They thought his invasion with the Chitari had been bad? Thanos would not stop at subjugation. He was not called the Mad Titan for nothing. Loki had heard more of his plans than he could ever wish. When the purple grape was done with them they would beg for Loki’s version of mercy.
And he would be coming. There was no stopping Thanos’ obsession with the infinity stones. He had only let Loki leave his domain with the Mind Stone in order to secure the second stone locked within the Tesseract, and even then, he had set certain precautions in order. The psychic link that tied Loki to his deadly minion The Other through the stone was doing all it could to reassert control over him.
You wielded power before, the thought in his brain was not his, not originally. You could do so again! Take the scepter! Strike down your enemies. You know you want to. You were born to rule. The scepter can help you do it!
“Alright, let me put it to you this way,” Pierce said, smile gone from his face. “Tell me how to access its power, or I will make sure your final days are nothing but pain.”
You could cause pain. They are set on making you suffer. Why wait when you can make them suffer first. The power is here for the taking. Grab it! Fulfill your purpose!
“For the love of Valhalla, what are you doing letting my brother in the same room with that thing?”
Seldom in his life had Loki been so happy to hear his brother’s voice break into his thoughts. His face was covered in a cold sweat, and his hands shook. Just a few moments more, and he would have done it. The scepter would be in his hands - chains or no, these mortals could not hold him if he truly desired to break free - and everyone else would be dead.
“I’m sorry, Odinson, but this is none of your concern,” Pierce told him coldly.
“Not my concern? Loki is my brother and a citizen of Asgard! I clearly heard you threatening him while he is in your custody. On top of that, you put the whole compound in jeopardy by letting him near the scepter.”
“It seems you have conflicting narratives there,” Pierce replied as Loki caught his breath. “Is your brother a helpless little kitten who needs protection, or a deadly threat who needs to be kept under strict guard?”
“How dare you?” Loki hissed, offense crackling.
“While Loki is hardly an innocent kitten, he is still your prisoner,” Thor remonstrated, “and as such entitled to basic humane treatment.”
“And more to the point,” another voice chimed in as Dr. Thorpe stepped out from behind Thor and glared at Pierce, “he is my patient. I don’t appreciate you hauling him off in the middle of an examination.”
“Don’t forget, Dr., you work for me,” Pierce growled.
“No, I don’t,” Caroline fought back. “I was hired by Director Fury to conduct this debriefing on behalf of Shield. His orders came directly from the President. Now, until I receive word from the White House or the Director, I am going to continue treating my patient in the hopes that we may get to the bottom of why our planet was invaded.”
“That’s easy,” Rumlow sneered, pointing at Loki. “It was invaded because that man has a God complex.”
“I am a God, you sniveling worm!”
“Enough!” Thor boomed, lightning flashing about his fingers. “Dr. Thorpe has stated her case. She has been ordered to treat Loki and will continue to do so until that order is belayed by the one who gave it. If any of you need help understanding this, I will gladly explain it to you again, with the assistance of my hammer.”
“Fine, take him back to his cell,” Pierce said at last, after a long moment of tension. “But we are not done with this, Laufyson. I’ll be speaking to you again.”
“Oh, I look forward to it,” Loki assured him.
“Come on Loki, I am brining you and Dr. Thorpe back to your cell.”
With a last smug look around the room, Loki pulled his chain out of Rumlow’s grasp and chuckled as the man staggered towards the floor. Holding it himself, he allowed Thor and Caroline to lead him back to the cell, away from the seductive lure of the Mind Stone.
***
Rarely had Caroline felt like such a coward as she did when she fled Loki’s cell. She had barely made it halfway to the mess when she began mentally chastising herself for her behavior. Yes, he was being deliberately provocative, flirting so outrageously with her, but that just meant she was on the right track, working her way to whatever it was he was hiding from himself and her. She should have stayed and pressed further. With any other patient she would have. It was just with Loki…
Shaking her head, Caroline smiled wryly. What was it about Loki? He was attractive, that went without saying. In fact, calling him attractive was a gross understatement. The man… the GOD was far and away the most attractive man she had ever met, and that included the blond Adonis who called himself his brother. Still, the good looks were only a piece of the reason she felt so drawn to him. There was a yearning she sensed inside the alien prince. A longing to be loved, to belong, and to have someone see him for who he truly was rather than who he pretended to be. His wit, his charm, his arrogance, all of that combined into a defensive wall designed to keep others from seeing how lost he was beneath it. She desperately wanted to break down that wall, but feared that when she did she would loose all objectivity. Already, she wanted to find and punish all of those others who had hurt him.
By the time she returned to his cell with two plates of food, she had strengthened her resolve. She might not be neutral in this case, but that did not have to be a fault. The patient obviously needed affection, and she could give that to him and still maintain a professional manner. She would show him that kindness was not something he had forfeit with his completely understandable tumble from reason upon learning his life was a lie.
He was not in the cell. The moment she saw it standing empty, guards all missing, Caroline feared the worst. It was possible that he had escaped, but she didn’t think so. He was too resigned to his fate, showed no sign that he was invested enough in his own survival to fight. Had Pierce defied his orders and taken him to the raft already? Could Loki, even now, be flying towards his mock trial and certain death?
Tossing aside the food trays, Caroline raced to find the one other person who might care if Loki died. Her hunch was correct, and she found Thor quickly on the deck where troops were practicing combat. Not waiting for a lull, she had thrown herself into the makeshift circle where he and a group of three soldiers were facing off in a sparring match. His reaction was comical, if she had been in the mood for humor, throwing himself between her and the advancing men, acting as a living shield as he quickly and without finesse punched all three of them to the ground.
“Doctor Thorpe,” he asked, looking at her with grave concern, “what has caused you to so disregard your own safety? Has Loki done something to upset you?”
“No!” she replied, breathless from her mad dash. “Loki is missing!”
“What? He escaped?”
“I don’t think so. I just went to his cell and it is empty. I think they might be taking him to the raft, and I haven’t had time…”
“Come with me,” he ordered, voice stern with anger. “We will find him.”
“Thank you!”
As she ran to keep up, Thor marched down the hallway, interrogating everyone they passed on the whereabouts of both his brother and Pierce.
“I was promised that if I turned him over to the authorities here, he would be afforded a thorough examination before being taken to trial,” Thor growled as they walked. “If I find out they have broken their word, I will free him myself!”
“Thank you,” she panted, jogging along. “I just went to get food and he was gone when I came back.”
“Pierce? Where?” he snarled at an unfortunate scientist who happened to be in their path.
“Down the hall,” the man said, wincing back from the towering fury. “Room 506.”
When they reached the room in question, the door was open. Inside, Loki stood wrapped in a ridiculous number of chains. Secretary Pierce and a number of men were all there as well, and in the middle of the room was a glowing scepter that she had seen Loki carrying in numerous photos and videos from his invasion. His eyes as he looked at the weapon betrayed unspeakable horror. It looked as though he was alone in the room with the spear, all of his energy directed its way. His lips were twisted into a menacing sneer, and a sheen of perspiration coated his handsome face.
“For the love of Valhalla, what are you doing letting my brother in the same room with that thing?”
A wave of relief washed over Loki’s face as Thor’s voice boomed into the silence, and it was as if a malevolent cloud lifted from him. Caroline watched him as Thor and Pierce traded words, and it seemed to her that he was almost ready to collapse. Siezing control in this room full of trained men who could kill her in a moment, Caroline put on her most professional voice and demanded that Loki be returned to her care. She didn’t know how she had the nerve to stare all of them down, but when laid in the balance against whatever obvious trauma her patient was currently experiencing, she would allow nothing and no one to stand in her way.
It was with gratifying speed that she soon had Loki back into the glass room, seated on his bench and looking like a lost little boy. Now that the hostile men were all behind the soundproof barrier, his shoulders were slumped and his eyes sunken. She did not know what it was that had just happened to him, but she would be damned if she let them take him away before she found out.
