#stoner ed

god … i just want to be able to relate to that trend where people show their thigh next to a monster can. I wouldn’t recreate or post it, just for me, i want to be able to make that comparison.

I haven’t been very active on here and I haven’t been restricting for a while until finally this week. Idk, Sunday is my birthday and school has made me feel out of control and something finally just kicked in again to make me relapse. I wasn’t really recovered, I didn’t choose too, I basically just gave up for a month or so. The self loathing was still there and seeing myself gain made me feel so guilty. Heavier doesn’t mean recovered and I definitely am not. I wanted to spiral again the whole time and finally I’m letting myself.