#t update
// update
it was already september. namjoon found himself in a weird limbo again, not really feeling satisfied with everything but also like accepting the inevitability of failure again. his contract would officially be up in three months, and he hoped something would happen in those three months. of course, they finally got the news that they were debuting, o namjoon had a bit more pep in his step as of late. he wanted to stand on the stage but more importantly, he wanted to start showing off his talents everywhere else. too long he had been stuck in the basement, that now debuting was a great chance to fame and popularity. he had decided that he was going to follow what he wants from the beginning, and yes, he may have suffered, and been mentally harassed for his skills, it would all be worth it.
he missed jimin dearly, but he understood that the other boy needed to make his own path and stay away from the toxicity that was kt. besides, they were still friends, still close. maybe things had fallen apart first, before everything could get better. he had high hopes for this month at long last. after all it was his birthday month and debut was at the end of the month.
getting stopped by gray, he offers the other male a grin. were they okay? he wasn’t sure. “i’m not sure. months of mental hell take a toll on the psyche, so maybe we’ll be okay in a few months, but other than that…it’s actually happening. After months and months of being told not good enough, it’s finally here. A shot at everything. Hopefully if debut goes well, then maybe everything else will fall into place…” he aid, trailing off. “I also finally spoke to minhee at the summer party in july. i think we may be okay,” he added.
he is surprised by the grin he is met with, as namjoon stopped in his pace. it seemed like things didn’t looked too gloomy for him, despite the tormenting months of waiting. even the most peaceful man would surely meet his boundaries and run out of patience at some point. but then his friend opens his mouth, and the words he reveals makes gray frown again. their life sounded like a rollercoaster ride. it was definitely not to be envied in gray’s eyes. mental hell? he wasn’t too sure what the other was actually targetting with that kind of description and it made him worry even more. “what do you mean with mental hell? what did the coaches actually tell you?” if there was a thing he had learned throughout the years, then it was the toxicity they were met with, if they didn’t met the standards.
as one of the older trainees, gray had been constantly on the edge, knowing that younger trainees would be picked over him which had been ending up to be too true, as shown during both ktrookies rounds. this was the kind of reality they were living in. this was the kind of show business they would promise to take part in, as soon as they signed the contract.
the older man blinks at his friend. this were unexpected news. but more or less good ones, he supposed. “you are debuting? congratulations, buddy! i really do hope things will go right from now on for you all. you absolutely deserve it.” he smiles at his taller friend, as he felt how part of his tension fell off his shoulders. though he couldn’t deny the tiny bit of worry that stayed behind, as he wondered about their future. how would their fans react, when news about jimin’s and sungho’s departure would go around? he couldn’t bear with the thought of neither of the boys suffering even more? things were already hard as they were and even if he didn’t know exactly about the internal struggles, he could imagine the pain they went through these past months.
“you think? boy, shouldn’t you two get yourself together by now?” he asks, as he shakes his head in disbelief. “this is a real life k-drama.”
it was already september. soon this turbulent year would be over and make place for a new chapter in his life. just three more months were remaining until his contract was running out. until now gray had been always one of the trainees to stand in the back, and until this year he had basically went without proper notice. gray had been trapped in the basement for almost four years now, and even with opportunities opening up for him, he had realized one thing about himself and it didn’t quite mattered what others thought of him for having this kind of mindset: to not let himself get swayed and get pushed away from what he identified the most with just because of the temptation to stand on stage.
somehow, he still wondered how things would have gone, if he had taken the same path as his former group members, if things wouldn’t have fallen apart as much as it seemed to have until now. just a few days ago he had heard of jimin leaving the company and therefore leave nsg as well. the development seriously concerned him and he was worried about his friends.
for the longest time he had stayed quiet about this topic, but at this point, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. as soon as he caught namjoon away from the others, he grabbed the other’s shoulder and asked straightforward: “hey, joon. could you update me about everything? are you guys ok?”
It’s about to be a thicc boy summer ☀️
We have been in contact with Pledis regarding Wonwoo’s birthday support. They have officially accepted our application, so we will be able to deliver our gifts for Wonwoo’s birthday.
