#taylor ridley

[Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker]

Gervaso: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Michael: …I did. I broke it.

Gervaso: No. No you didn’t. Zeus?

Zeus: Don’t look at me. Look at Jack!

Jack: What?! I didn’t break it.

Zeus: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Jack: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.

Zeus:Suspicious.

Jack: No it’s not!

Ostin: If it matters, probably not, but Taylor was the last one to use it.

Taylor: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Ostin: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Taylor: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Ostin!

Michael: Okay let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Gervaso.

Gervaso: No! Who broke it?!

Jack: Gervaso… Quentin’s been awfully quiet.

Quentin:REALLY?!

[Everyone starts arguing]

Gervaso [being interviewed]: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Taylor: You know, hugs are my drug of choice.