#incorrect electroclan quotes
Anyone whenever Ostin is right: First off, get out of here with your facts.
Jack: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die.
Michael: Top three colleges? I thought I’d be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the tail light by now.
[Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker]
Gervaso: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.
Michael: …I did. I broke it.
Gervaso: No. No you didn’t. Zeus?
Zeus: Don’t look at me. Look at Jack!
Jack: What?! I didn’t break it.
Zeus: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
Jack: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.
Zeus:Suspicious.
Jack: No it’s not!
Ostin: If it matters, probably not, but Taylor was the last one to use it.
Taylor: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
Ostin: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Taylor: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Ostin!
Michael: Okay let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Gervaso.
Gervaso: No! Who broke it?!
Jack: Gervaso… Quentin’s been awfully quiet.
Quentin:REALLY?!
[Everyone starts arguing]
Gervaso [being interviewed]: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Zeus: Bro you’re my OTB.
Jack: What’s that, bro?
Zeus: One True Bro
Jack:Bro
Gervaso/Sharon/Welch (because let’s face it, they all basically adopted the whole group at various moments): Don’t talk to me or my son or my daughter or my son or my son or my son or my son or my son or my daughter or my daughter or my daughter or my son or my daughter or my daughter or my daughter or my son or my son or my daughter or my daughter or my son ever again.
Zeus: Bro do you lift?
Jack: Yeah bro how did you know?
Zeus: You lift my heart whenever you’re around, bro.
Jack:Bro.
Jack: Go ahead without me, bro.
Zeus: I can’t do that, bro. You’re my brohana.
Jack:Bro.
Zeus: Brohana means family, and family means no bro gets left behind or forgotten.
Jack: While Abi’s gone, I’m gonna cut the sleeves off all my shirts.
Michael:Why?
Jack: She’s pretty much 85% of my impulse control.
Quentin and/or Tara: I don’t even need to be attractive; it’s just the icing on the cake.
Taylor: You know, hugs are my drug of choice.
Michael: You don’t care who you piss off, do you?
Dr. Egg: Not in the slightest, no.
Ostin: What’s the plan?
Michael: It mostly involves not dying!
Ostin: That’s a good plan! I like that plan!
Michael: We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good.
Zeus: Hey, what’s your number?
Jack: [visibly texting] I don’t have a phone.
Michael: Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m usually about to die.
Torstyn: Of course I’m showing off! I’m a show-off, it’s what we do.
