Slacker Life: *sobs* Cale, how could you! Cale: Darling, it’s not what you think-! Slacker Life: You promised that we’d be together forever!! Cale: I swear, this is a misunderstanding- Slacker Life: A misunderstanding!? Hero Work: Ohhh boy. Cale: Honey, sweetie, the love of my life- Slacker Life: You spend all the time with HER! Hero Work: Cale, we gotta go. The Hunters are here Cale: I swear, I’ll come back for you- Slacker Life: See?! Even now, you don’t care about me at all! Cale: This is just temporary! Slacker Life: As if! Hero Work: *nods* She’s got a point, you know Cale: B-but, I- Slacker Life: Go and live your life as Hero, if that’s what you want! I’m divorcing you! Cale: No, beloved, wait-! Hero Work: *drags Cale away* Slacker Life: You’ve made your choice! Don’t you dare come back! Cale: NOOOOOOOO-!
You know what they say – if Cale Henituse wants to put a hole in a cliff, he’ll blow away the entire thing… and if he wants to make a light breeze to shake things up? You better believe it’s going to be a hurricane
The amazing thing about Cale’s actions in TCF, is that despite his “selfish” (and I use that words very skeptically; just because you gain profit from helping people doesn’t negate the good things you do) choices to change the story he read in “The Birth of a Hero”, all of his actions actually make a bigger and better impact than Cale himself can even imagine.
1st Battle – Henituse Territory [Enemy Clopeh wants to fight!] Clopeh: I have an army Cale: We have a necromancer Clopeh: Wait wha- Mary: BONE DRAGON SMASH [Raon used Shield! It’s Super Effective!] Cale: Choi Han, I choose you! Clopeh: Wait is that a sword master?? Syrem: Wait is that a dragon?? Cale: Wait is that a dragon slayer?? The Wyvern Brigade: *gets obliterated* [Enemy Syrem Fled the Battle!] [Enemy Clopeh Got Captured!] [You won! You earned High Morale for the Roan Kingdom!] Cale: The shield did not break Everyone: *simp mode levels up* We got a national slogan now *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 6*
2nd Battle – the Ocean Mage & Healer: We’re special because we got red stars on our uniforms Cale: B**** please, you don’t even get names Mage & Healer: Wait wha- The Fleet: *gets obliterated* [Enemy Syrem Got Captured!] [You won! You earned the unfailing trust of the Roan Kingdom!] *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 7*
Aftermath at Roan Kingdom Amiru: So the churches want to burn Mary on a stake Cale: Well f*** them Alberu: And the nobles want to give you a medal Cale: WELL F*** THEM Alberu: *shrugs* Fair enough Cale: Just please let the soldiers eat?? (I am SO hungry! ;_;) Everyone: *deeply touched* C-commander Cale…! Cale: (Surely after the war, everyone will forget about me) Everyone: *simp mode levels up*
Clopeh’s Conversion Clopeh: *gets tortured and dis-Armed* (drum roll) Cale: How about you tell me everything you know? Clopeh: *realizes Cale = priest Cale* Clopeh: (I can make a religion out of this) Cale: Now tell your father to surrender Clopeh: Father, this esteemed sir is a god Cale: (WTF???)
Grand Nobles Meeting Nobles: We can’t send help to some other country! Think about our positions- I mean, our kingdom’s position! Cale’s allies: *show up all wearing black* The kingdom is fine Alberu: *also in black* Yes, we even collaborated on the color scheme, aren’t we fashionable? Nobles: (…Well s***) Cale: Peace out, b****es
3rd Battle – Caro Kingdom Valentino: *gratitude mode activated* Thank you for coming to help! Cale: *awkward* Adin: Also I’m here Cale: *pissed* The Sun Church: You got a necromancer so you’re not qualified for us to help you Cale: (…I’m going to end their whole careers) The Bear Tribe: Fear us, we got dead mana bombs! Valentino: Sun Church, can’t you do something?! The Sun Church: But that would like, hurt, so no Valentino: …you have literally ONE JOB. Cale: Well f*** them, your highness. I’ve got a solution Valentino: What solution…? Cale: Dragon simps The Dark Elves: Look, it’s free dead mana! The Bear Tribe: Wait wha- The Bear Tribe: *gets obliterated* Cale: Looks like we’re done h- Dragon Half-Blood: *shows up* Gasp! That aura! Are you a dragon?? Cale: (Well f***) [Enemy Dragon Half-Blood Fled the Battle!] [You won! You earned the gratitude of the Caro Kingdom!] *Cale mistaken as a dragon counter: 4* *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 8*
Aftermath at Caro Kingdom Cale: Speaking of dragon simps - Pendrick, you’re up Pendrick: Huh? Cale: You’re the healer now Pendrick: *sweats* O-okay? If the dragon wants me to-? Cale: Wonderful. Valentino, Adin and the Empire made the dead mana bombs. You hungry for some delicious REVENGE? Valentino: *pissed*…Starving. Cale: Perfect. Now I’m off, someone’s been messing with my backyard entrance
Expansion to the Eastern Continent Mountain Bandits: *carving a statue out of a 10,000 year old seal* We’re the strongest people in town!! Cale’s group: *shows up* Bandit Leader: Ha! Look at those weak- Cale: Beacrox Beacrox: With pleasure Beacrox: *beats him up* Cale: You work for us now Mountain Bandits: *terrified* Y-yes sir! Cale: (…What’s with them?) And you’ll be ruling the Eastern underworld under Ron Mountain Bandits: Huh? Cale: But first we’ll be fixing your etiquette Mountain Bandits: HUH? Cale: *starts an inn business* Cale: Why the “Hope and Adventure Loving Inn”…? Cale: …Because we hope to backstab all the bad guys, and love the adventure of looting them
Going Back to Roan Kingdom Alberu: *headache mode on* Cale, can you please pick up your unruly children from the capital? Cale: …What did you two do? Choi Han & Mary: *picking up fights with dumb nobles* Choi Han & Mary: *innocently* Nothing dad! Cale: Whatever. I need to talk to the World Tree again World Tree: Guess what, Raon’s mom’s OP so Raon’s also gonna be very OP Cale: But he’s already OP? World Tree: Like, Dragon Lord OP. Cale: I see. …Wait wha- World Tree: *Windows shutdown noises* Cale: Darn it Lock: Young master Cale, I can’t go berserk ;_; Cale: Doesn’t matter. We’re adults, we can’t just rely on children to fight for us in battle Raon: Really? Cale: Yes, why-? Raon: *enters first growth phase* Cale: (Well f***)
4th Battle – the Gorge of Death [Enemy Dragon Half-Blood wants to fight!] Super Rock: Are you trying to sacrifice yourself Cale: No Super Rock: Are you trying to sacrifice yourself Cale: Maybe? Super Rock: Are you trying to sacrifice yourself Cale: …Yes Super Rock: Wrong answer Cale: Wait wha- Super Rock: *turns the battle around* Cale: (…So all the stress he gave me for solid 100 chapters was for NOTHING?!?) Dragon Half-Blood: So you’re going to kill me now, huh? Cale: Nope. I haven’t even unlocked your tragic backstory yet Dragon Half-Blood: …Huh? [Enemy Dragon Half-Blood Got Captured!] [Enemies Flame Dwarves and Bear Tribe also Got Captured!] [You won! You earned the gratitude of the Breck Kingdom!] *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 9*
Aftermath at the Gorge of Death Eruhaben: So you’ve used up all your water power and your power plate’s broken, which means you have 3 days ‘til you explode Cale: Ok Alberu: What’s going- Cale: This is Raon, my adopted dragon son Alberu: Huh? Cale: And this is Eruhaben, my adopted dragon grandpa Eruhaben: 'Sup Alberu: Huh?? Cale: Also I’m going to explode in 3 days unless I get a water ancient power Alberu: HUH??? Eruhaben: Luckily I know where it is Cale: Sure let’s go Alberu: *headache mode on* (That bastard… I’ll get him for this later)
Fixing Up Cale’s Plate Cale: *gets the water ancient power* Cale: Great, that means I’m healed, right? The Ancient Powers: Uh, about that… Cale: Son of a-! *pukes blood and hurts like crazy* Cale: (…At least my friends aren’t here to-) Cale’s group: *sees everything through video-call* Cale: (Well f***) Cale’s group: *casually destroys several palaces out of frustration* Cale: (…I don’t even wanna know) *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 10*
Rebellion in the Empire Plot – Begin! Roan Kingdom: *wins the war* The Empire: *declares war against the Whipper Kingdom* Roan Kingdom’s Alliance: (You, sir, just made a big miscalculation) Cale: *masterfully plotting a bloodless rebellion*
Back to the Eastern Continent Cale: Time for some peace and justice Choi Han: *confusion* Cale: …I mean time to mess with Arm Choi Han: Oh, are we looting them again? Cale: Close, but not quite Some Corrupted Guild: (I just wish a Dragon showed up and ripped all those Arm bastards to shreds!) Cale’s group: *shows up* Some Corrupted Guild: Who are you?! Choi Han: We. Are. The. Real. Arm! Cale: *facepalm* Cale’s group: *loots corrupted Guilds and sets them all up against Arm* Eruhaben: So what will you do with the slowly dying, 900-year-old, homicidal Dragon Half-Blood that you’ve captured? Cale: Put him on cleaning duty, obviously Dragon Half-Blood: …Huh?? Eruhaben: Sounds reasonable. And what are you going to do next? Cale: Throw some money away Eruhaben: You mean, like on alcohol or-? Cale: *literally burns a ton of money* Eruhaben: … Eruhaben: I’m too old for this
Back to Whipper Kingdom Cale: *menacingly* Do you wish to live? Flame Dwarves: *terrified* Y-yes…? Cale: (…What’s with them?) Great. You’re awesome craftsmen, make us some firebirds Flame Dwarves: *respect mode activated* Cale: Do you also wish to live? Bear Tribe: We sure do Cale: (Big bait will sure work out great) Excellent. Toonka: FRIEND!!! Cale: (…not really?) Toonka: *pissed but helpless* Our bastard of a King wants to sell out 100,000 citizens as slaves to the Empire just to save his own skin Cale: …So what’s the problem? Toonka: Huh? Cale: *totally-not-being-a-friend* Bro. Just do your thing. I got ya back Toonka: !!! Toonka: *smashes through the door* OBJECTION! Cale: …you could have spared the door tho
5th Battle – Whipper Kingdom VS Mogoru Empire [Enemy Huten wants to fight!] Cale: *priest mode on* The Empire: Ha! There’s no way those weaklings can stand in our wa- Flame Dwarves: *send firebirds out* Cale: *sets the battlefield on fire* The Empire: Wait wha- The Empire: *gets obliterated* [Enemy Huten Got Captured!] [You won! You earned the gratitude of the Whipper Kingdom!] [Congratulations! You did not bleed or faint this time!!]
Working with the Empire – an Among Us Playthrough Cale & Alberu: *Impostor mode on* Adin: (That priest in Navigation… Cale is kinda sus) Alberu: *shows the video of Cale puking blood* It can’t be Cale, I was there at the Med Scan with him. He’s super fragile right now Cale: That’s right. I’m of very fragile health Adin: Oh no, our poor hero… (Score, he’s totally dying!) Cale: Yes. But since I’m a hero, I’ll still be helping Adin: We’re so grateful! (I hope he coughs a lot of blood) Cale: *puts out his own fire* Cale: (Oh how nice, no blood!) Sky Eating Water: Uh, about that… Cale: Son of a-! *coughs rivers of blood* *Cale coughs blood and/or faints counter: 11*
