Back in the day (30 years ago) Sandra Bullock was the Queen of RomComs (“While you were sleeping”, “Two If by Sea”, “Hope Floats”, etc.). But in recent years she has focused on dramatic roles. That is until “The Lost City” which opens this week.
The setup for TLC is remarkably similar to “Romancing the Stone” (1984) where Kathleen Turner played a romance novelist (check) who is forlorn (check), and is forced by criminal (check), to find a treasure (check), and becomes irritated by the man trying to help her (check) BUT they slowly fall in love (check).
The two films are so similar that The Lost City could have been a sequel or reboot of the Romancing the Stone (or the subject of a copyright infringement lawsuit)!
Before diving into the core of the plot - I’ve got to address the elephant in the room - or should I say Botox vial. At the age of 58, Bullock looks good, but there are shots where her face looks unnaturally smooth and plasticky. Of course she’s not the only older star to seek out age-defying treatments. But when paired opposite a leading man 16 years younger - the Botox looks more obvious.
I hadn’t planned to see TLC until I saw the trailer which featured Brad Pitt. He plays a parody of an action star and (while he’s on screen) it’s a lot of fun. But (spoiler alert) Pitt doesn’t have many scenes because Channing Tatum is the actual costar and is also 16 years younger.
Daniel Radcliffe plays the villain and does his best Lucius Malfoy impression. Later in the movie someone refers to him as “the boy with a beard”. I suspect Radcliffe will suffer that comparison far into his old age.
The movie is a comedy… but resorts to lame and juvenile attempts at humor (Tatum feels the warm water when Bullock pees in a stream; they both comment on how a tunnel opening looks like an anus).
Tatum’s character is one-dimension at first (a walking talking hair swishing Fabio joke). Although he develops, I can’t understand why he is so desperate for Bullock’s approval (other than modeling for her books is his meal ticket). He wants her because the script tells him he wants her.
Bullock’s character has been mourning the loss of her husband for 5 years but it seems as if it’s only yesterday. She is very dismissive of everyone around her - especially Tatum (who she treats like a Him-bo).
One of the funnier scenes (included in the trailer) is when Tatum discovers leeches on his back. But in the film - both Bullock and the audience see a whole lot more… Tatum displays his might fine leech covered butt (for more than just a glimpse). While Tatum’s naked ass might be worth the price of admission - I’d recommend waiting a couple months when it will likely be available on Paramount+.
Note: The director said that’s Tatum’s actual butt, not a butt double. Here are a couple shots of Tatum’s butt from his modeling career and another movie. You’ll get a better closeup in The Lost City (but fake leeches will be glued to it).
1. I loved the 1960s adventure series “Lost in Space” so much so that I think I wanted to “be” Will Robinson (played by Billy Mumy) whose best friend was a robot; and I think I cried myself to sleep when I read in the newspaper the show might be cancelled.
2. As a adult I still like the B&W first season - the art design looks great and there are many excellent episode that are stilleffective today (especially the first 6 or 7 episodes that could run as one continuous story.
3. I ignore the 2nd and 3rd seasons that tried to compete with Adam West’s “Batman” to see which show could be the most campy - I think with the prancing Dr. Smith, LIS will always win.
4. I saw the 1998 movie starring Matt Leblanc and William Hurt; Leblanc was fine but Hurt thought he was in a tragedy written by Shakespeare; both Jack Johnson and Jared Harris we’re horribly miscast as Will.
5. If you listen to the commentary on the DVD, at some point the producers start apologizing for the half finished effects and lamenting what might have been.
6. I’ve seen portions of the incomplete 2004 WB pilot - no Smith, no Penny is a baby and they added another brother; production values were good but it was missing the spirit of the original.
7. Netflix released a new 10 episode series in 2018 that largely follows the format of the original show with some changes: the Robinsons are part of a larger colonist group travel to Aloha Centauri; Dr Smith (played by Bill Mumy) has his identity stolen by the possibly psychotic June Harris (played by Parker Posey); and the robot is from an alien race with less than friendly intentions;
8. The first season involved numerous perilous events in each episode, emulating the original’s weekly cliffhangers; by the end I grew a little weary of them AND Smith’s shenanigans; and I wasn’t a fan of Maxwell Jenkins as Will who played him as a scaredy-cat.
9. Season 2 was released at Christmas and improved on the first season: Will was much improved; Smith’s behavior was better established,
10. as was the families treatment of her; and the plot diverted quite a bit from the original in new ways.
11. Best of all, the series design and special effects are movie quality so the show is a delight to watch for space enthusiasts.
1. At the screening I attended, the movie was preceded with a montage from various movie premieres Cruise and his cast attended. Cruise with his toothy-grin repeatedly thanked the sailors and military in the crowds. His co-stars genuflecting about how lucky they were to be cast and work with Cruise. The only thing missing was Pope Francis announcing that Cruise had been canonized as Saint Thomas of Hollywood.
2. Val Kilmer reveal to the press in 2017 that he was under going treatment for throat cancer. He underwent chemo therapy and 2 tracheotomies. He has extreme difficulty speaking. This was written into the backstory of his character Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky to explain his appearance and limited screen time.
3. Cruise’s Maverick is assigned to train 12 new Top Guns. He must then pick 6 to undertake a top secret mission. Six of the trainees are virtually unnamed and I’m not sure if anyone them have dialogue or a close-up. This pretty much eliminates any suspense as to which of the trainees Cruise will pick.
4. The remaining six main trainees were cast right out of the Affirmative Action handbook - one woman, one Black actor, one Latino, one guy who might be gay, and two macho white guys (guess which have the larger roles).
5. Miles Teller plays the only trainee that Cruise interacts with. He’s the son of Maverick’s friend who died in original film - so of course he blames Maverick for his dad’s death. Teller is an actor who I have difficulty watching. He always comes across as angry and smarmy - the two main traits of his character here.
6. Although the original Top Gun was released 36 years ago, one of the sequel’s key plot points borrows (swipes? copies? steals?) an element from “Star Wars” (1977). The secret mission involves flying their jets down a long, narrow, and hazardous canyon. Then shoot a missle into an impossibly small air vent to destroy the Death Star uranium enrichment facility below! Perhaps Cruise’s call sign should have been Skywalker!
7. Cruise feels the need to perform his own stunts - no matter how dangerous. But as a viewer, do I really care he’s putting his life on the line for my entertainment? NO! Otherwise it would be like the Roman gladiators getting horribly killed to satisfy the audiences blood lust.
8. There’s no action scene in this movie that could not be done with stunt doubles, green screen or CGI. I don’t need to know Cruise’s junior co-stars vomited while being recorded on real jets. They are called actors for a reason - act like you are suffering from extreme G-force!
9. But I suspect Cruise needlessly risks his own life on a day-to-day basic. Early in the film he rides off on a motorcycle - prominently displayed is a “No-55” bumper sticker in reference to the California highway speed limit. Later in the movie Cruise and co-star Jennifer Connelly are shown tooling around on a motor cycle in San Diego - neither wearing a helmet (required by California law). Cruise is enormously popular but he sets the wrong example to his fans.
10.The film itself is entertaining and fans will love it (critics already do with its 97% score at Rotten Tomatoes). But there’s nothing new here. You’ve seen all the action tropes before; even the last minute heroics by pilots Miles “Smarmy” Teller and Glenn “Cock-of-the-Walk” Powell are predictable. (You’ll notice it’s the white guys who save the day at the end, not any of the rest of the affirmative action pilots.)
NOTE: Kelly McGillis was 5 years older than Cruise when she played his love interest in the original Top Gun. She does not appear in the sequel. Hollywood historically has been unkind to older actresses. To link Cruise to McGillis again would highlight that Cruise has barely aged (and must have a magic portrait hidden in his attic). Instead a younger Jennifer Connelly was cast as his new paramour.
Check out my Ten Comments About the movies opening scene:
TEN COMMENTS ABOUT THE OPENING SCENE OF “TOP GUN MAVERICK” (SPOILERS)
From the Cambridge Dictionary: “Maverick: a person who thinks and acts independently of and differently from others.”
The film opens with Tom “Maverick” Cruise as the test pilot for new super-sonic jet potentially capability of flying at Mach Ten.
Knowing Admiral Ed “Crotchety” Harris is about to cancel the jet’s contract, Maverick launches the test early. He does this ostensibly to save the jobs of the new jet’s development team.
Against all odds, Maverick is able to achieve the speed the super-sonic was designed for - Mach Ten.
Butunexpectedly, Maverick decides to push it and go beyond the speed needed.
BUT he is unable to maintain the higher speed and the “very very expensive jet”crashes.
Thank Gawd Maverick survives (otherwise the movie would have been very short).
Instead of being court marshaled for destroying a “very very expensive jet” at Tax Payers expense (for example the Lockheed SR-71 is estimated to cost $32 billion each). Tom Crashtest is shuffled off to another job. (BTW, that happens in real life too… a bad employee isn’t fired, he’s shuffled off somewhere for someone else to handle.)
The design team must have lost their jobs because the only one we see again has been assigned the menial job of counting how many push-ups a pilot can do.
A much more accurate call sign for Cruise’s character would be Ego Maniac, Fuck-up, or perhaps non-ironically “Crash Test”!
