#that first section was so viscerally harrowing to read
Loveless
In honor of pride month. Happy pride to my fellow aros and arospecs.
Also gotta love me sprinkling what might be my bpd symptoms into my OC like I’m making cookiesCw: Mentions of ableism and arophobia, brief description of an ableist hate crime, and depression.
Alyssa had always loved the idea of being in love.
She had grown up on Disney movies and fairytales where the prince rescues his princess and everyone lives happily ever after. And she thought she loved it because that was what she wanted. To one day find her own beautiful love story.
But as time went on it seemed like that wasn’t going to happen. She had always found comfort in escapism and the stories she loved. As she grew up she went from Disney to Buffy the vampire slayer and Angel the series, but she never lost her love for a good love story. She wished she could be rescued by her own prince or princess charming from the trauma in her life.
She wished she could be pulled away from people seeing her as a freak or a burden and be met with blind devotion and adoration like in the stories. She wanted somebody to love her unapologetically, for everything she was.
But she never had anything like what people described as crushes. She never felt butterflies in her stomach because of anyone or anything like that. She wasn’t even really sure what seperated romantic love from platonic love. Or if it was meant to feel any different. Not that she was having much luck with friendships either.
Alyssa was sort of naturally a loner. She preferred being on her own because that way there was there was no one to disappoint. And she couldn’t be hurt or abandoned. But the truth was she always longed for companionship. Someone who just got her. She had friends but they never lasted for multiple reasons. So much so that now any time anyone showed her affection she assumed it was a trick or a trap. Or possibly that they had some kind of ulterior motive.
