#the black brothers angst

“i fucking hate you.”

“you don’t mean that.” regulus said quietly, desperately clinging to the hope that he was right, and that sirius really, truly, didn’t.

“i mean every. fucking. word.”

“sirius, i-” the younger brother’s voice only cracked slightly.

there is a bittersweet pain in a brother’s betrayal, that sirius had seen coming all along. in a family of madness and secrets kept in the light of the stars, they were very few, the ones that came in the light of the sun.

and regulus had stayed in the shadows, where, seemingly, he belonged.

a single tear rolled down sirius’ cheek, that washed away the war’s pain, the traitorous act that regulus had done, the pain that had toughened them up, built them up, but at the same time, that broke them down.

family.

“mon petit frère est un traître.” sirius whispered, their voice shaking ever so slightly.

“non…” regulus trailed off. “sirius, s'il te plaît…”

and with the betrayal, the skull-headed snake marked in regulus’ skin forever,

the blood’s bond had been broken.

they could see london’s dim lights from the lampposts, giving grimmauld place an old, almost haunted look.

in the cold air of december nights, nobody dared to go outside. it was terribly cold, freezing even, and still, neither regulus nor sirius was dressed well as their feet dangled from the edge of the windowsill of the older brother’s room.

a cigarette dangled from their fingers, and they threw its butt down, sending it down slowly, blown away by the wind.

he looked at them with big, doe eyes, and they looked away quickly, a single tear slipping quietly from mercury grey eyes.

“you’re leaving.”

it wasn’t even a question anymore. it was a statement. regulus knew sirius was going to leave someday. he knew they wantedto.

they weren’t to blame, really. their parents had never been the best, his heart broke while admitting it, while it sunk in slowly, a truth regulus didn’t want to admit, and his older brother had always been the one to take the blame.

sirius invited him to come with them. he said no, bitterly. they needed an heir.

and sirius couldn’t be the heir they wanted,

so naturally, it was regulus who had to be the son they wanted.

“yeah.” sirius’ voice was hoarse with emotion. he avoided regulus’ eyes with determination, their eyes fixing on the void under their feet. “yeah. i’m sorry, but you heard them, you know what will happen if i don’t, i-”

“yeah. you don’t have to say anything.”

they sat in silence for a while, and when they looked at each other again, they looked not in each other’s eyes, but through the other.

they realized that they had slipped further than they had ever been before.