#the last of us imagine

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter:  “And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder. One of the four beasts saying, ‘Come and see.’ and I saw, and behold a white horse.” - Johnny Cash

Part summary: When you arrived to Seattle, it was becoming more and more apparent that the things won’t go as planned at all. Especially when you had Tommy slipping between your fingers.

A/N: So, we’re slowly getting to the more important stuff. How you guys feel about it? 

Warnings: Mentions of blood, torture, killing, infected, mentions of WLF, angst, arguments, cuss words. 

Word count: 6.7K

Tagging: @nemodoren@xxgoldenhour@missdictatorme​​@peakymarvels​​@davnwillcome​@pickleriiick​@jodiereedus22​@gladiosamicitias​@tamkashi​@eternallyvenus​@avengerssstuff​@fangirl-inthe-us​@avery-miller​@mikah-writes​@mad-hatter-98​@sadiaafrin99​@flavorishy​@mr-robot-x​

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS|SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day first - morning:

The journey to Seattle wasn’t as long as you expected it to be. It was barely two days on horseback - if you wouldn’t get lost so much. Ellie proclaimed herself the leader of your group and well, it was what it was, he sense for orientation was bat shit bad. You’ve spent five days in total on the road - and given that you had to hunt and prepare some safe sleeping places, you were quite quick for a group of four people. Hunting was usually Joel and Ellie’s thing - he was good with the bow, which you knew perfectly and Ellie learned how to hunt during a winter when she was with Joel.

Joel was a man of many secrets and some wild past, you’ve known that, but you thought that maybe, Joel just taught the girl how to hunt. Neither of them told you otherwise - that Joel was in pain, high fever with his hip drilled through with iron support protruding out of the ground. You didn’t know many things, in fact - you still didn’t have an idea that Ellie is immune to the Cordyceps fungus. Sure, you knew all about the chemical burn, tattoo, and once, when she was drunk, she told you about how Joel had to lead her to the Fireflies through half of the United States. Why? She didn’t tell you. She just mentioned she was supposed to die there because of some vaccine - you didn’t know for what. Sure, logically, you knew that shes talking about the fungus infection, but you never thought about it that much.

You’ve never asked her. Maybe it was some different decease? Maybe not? But you’ve never asked her about fungus and infected.

Anyway, while Joel and Ellie set on an evening hunt every day once you found a good spot, you and Dina made sure to check the spot for supplies, to secure the place, take care of the horses and to prepare the sleeping area. Against your wildest expectations, it was quite nice to have them around. You meant such close people whom you saw as members of your family. The old man and Ellie got along pretty well in the end - as far as it came to work and surviving, Joel and Ellie were an excellent team. While these two were the main characters of your group, you and Dina tended to stay put and to follow instructions these two gave you. Sure, you two were enough of a pain in the asses and characters as well, but there wasn’t any need for you to express so far.

Nighttime patrols were sure a necessity - so you made pairs. Usually, you had the first patrol with Ellie to check on the surroundings, on which you played card games, and told each other dumb jokes, and Joel with Dina took your place shortly after midnight. So far, it didn’t even seem like a revenge trip - it was more of a family-only secluded trip. But as soon as you saw the first cars on 99 leading in the direction of Seattle, you realized how close to the city you were.

What if the WLFs won’t be there anymore? What if you’d come late? What if they will be there and you’ll find them? How could you be sure that you’ll find every person who was at the Baldwin mansion? How long will it take? And how high was the probability of all of you surviving? With a sigh, you tightened your arms around Joel’s waist gently, leaning your cheek to his back as you watched the woods and wildlife around you.

“You good?” - Joel asked, quickly glancing at you over the shoulder. You picked your head up, looking at the highway in front of you.

“Yea, I’m fine. I’m just a bit tired, I guess. Hadn’t slept much last night.” - And it was true - you couldn’t fall asleep properly because of the storm raging outside. Bolts of lightning were flashing behind the windows, thunders were shaking the ground and even if you were safe inside the sleeping bag, laying just a few meters from the fireplace, you couldn’t fall asleep for shit. Dina, on the other hand, slept on the other side like a newborn baby with a small grin on her face.

“Some nightmares? Your leg? What’s goin’ on?” - Joel asked and you caught Joel’s side tightly when Sadie jumped off of a small edge. While you had this serious conversation, Dina and Ellie were grinning and snickering as they rode at least ten meters in front of you. You grinned at Joel’s caring mood, shaking your head after a small moment. - “Hey, you can tell me, you know that, rite?” - The man asked you after a moment of silence.

Sure, you could tell him that the proximity of the city is what is making you nervous, but all you’d get back is a question 'Are you sure that you wanna do this, baby girl?’. And with that, you didn’t want to be bothered with. You could describe him the wild dreams you were having about Abby and the other WLFs and how much it was intensifying in the last few days as Seattle got closer. But Tommy was out there. Sure, Joel would agree to turn Sadie back to Jackson, but… His brother was in Washington city. Somewhere out there, alone and possibly dead or taken captive. Joel would go back for you, but you’d tear him apart if you’d make him choose between you and Tommy. At this moment, it was less complicated, because you wanted to find and save Tommy.

“Maybe I would sleep better if you’d come and cuddle me tonight, just a bit, huh?” - You grinned, running your tongue along your lips as you straightened, putting your chin on his shoulder as you watched the profile of his face while Joel kept his eyes on the road. But he let the rein go with one palm to smooth your thigh. And you’d be lying if you’d be telling that your sensitive spot didn’t throb at that bit of human contact.

“That’s exactly why we don’t have patrols together, baby girl.” - The man said and put his hand back on Sadie’s rein, making her fasten up a bit. At that, you scoffed, mumbling a quiet 'funny’.

“Hey, let’s turn to the woods here. Seems like a road and we’ll see when it takes us, what do you say?” - Ellie cried in your direction suddenly. The man turned your horse to follow Shimmer and the girls. Both horses needed some rest as soon as possible - the road was long and tricky at times, plus they had to carry two people and their stuff on their back, so the poor animals were tired enough already. The whole group hoped that as soon as you’ll ride into the town, there won’t be such big need to use the horseback - and you’d be extremely lucky, you’d find some refuge to hide at, where you could make the animals rest a bit as well.

Yet instead of the city, everything you’ve been greeted with when you arrived in front of the entering Seattle, was a long wide wall with white graffiti on it, saying 'WLF - trespassers killed on sight’. Well, that was great. Joel stopped your horse next to Shimmer, looking at Ellie, who’s eyes were already flying all over the place as she looked for a back door.

“Okay, okay. I see something. So, Joel, will you come with me? Y/N and Dina can search through the buildings here and take care of the horses while we figure it out.” - The girl asked everyone. Dina opened up her mouth with a furrow, getting ready to oppose Ellie, so you spoke out before the girl. - “Great plan. You two take care of the passage, we’ll look around.” - You agreed with the girl, already jumping off Sadie’s back. Slowly, you petted her neck and took the reins from Joel, watching the man getting down as well.

“You two be careful.” - Dina sighed, smoothing Ellie’s shoulder before taking Shimmer away as well. You did exactly what you told them you’ll be doing. Neither of you could see the man or Ellie, but you still could hear them bickering, so you knew they’re alright. Dina seemed to be the ideal person for you to confess about your fears. Joel would turn the house around in instant, Ellie would rant about the whole revenge thing. - “Spill the tea, honey. I know something’s bothering you ever since you got up.” - The girl asked you as she went through some unlocked wardrobes, taking a look at old work overalls.

“This will sound weird,” - “Babe, you’ve already told me a shit ton of weird stuff and now, when I would be worried about you if you wouldn’t be scared, ou think you’re too weird?” - The girl answered as you went through some old WLF documents scattered around the tables.

“The closer to Abby we get, the more my heart wants to see Abby suffer, I can’t sleep, all I think about is her. I want her to hurt the way I did. But my head… I think this is all a bad idea.” - A whisper left you as you watched Ellie climb on the upper side of the gate, Joel being under her to catch her is shed be falling. They were still bickering and yelling stuff at one another, so you knew they’re just fine.

“Do you want to kill all of them, or…” - Dina whispered, turning her face at you. But to your surprise, you shook your head almost immediately. You didn’t want to kill anyone. Sure, your own goal was to find Abby, clip her wings, and to do her the same shit she has done to you, make her realize that you’ll kill her if she comes for Joel… But you didn’t want to kill her. What would be the purpose of that? You could make her realize that she should stay the fuck away from Jackson without having her blood on your hands. Unfortunately, Tommy was apparently on the other side of the spectrum. And Ellie was too. Yet Dina seemed to be getting uncomfortable with the topic. - “Y/N… Listen. I know you were a Firefly earlier and that they haven’t sent you out, I know you killed only infected… But behind this gate, some bad people won’t spare a single second with thinking about shooting at you. I don’t want to be an asshole and even if your willingness to spare Abby’s life is admirable, but if things go to shit… And they will go to shit… You will have to kill someone.”

Dina slowly walked to you, licked her lips as her palms gently smoothed your shoulders. Honestly, killing someone wasn’t the first thing that came to your mind when Ellie said We are going to Seattle. It made sense - Seattle was most likely inhabited by various groups and clans, cannibals, and hunters. All you could see was Owen, the woman, and her friends. Those were the people you wanted to see suffer, not killed, but suffering for sure. Yet the reality found its way to you rather quickly as the realization came suddenly.

Given how you reacted to the first kill, could you overcome the feeling of being sick of yourself? In the exact moment when you watched the arrow driving through the man’s neck, you thought of yourself as of something else. Not someone, but something. You were disgusting, you weren’t a human being if you could consciously kill another man, right? But Seattle was full of worse people than the group you’ve met near Jackson in summer.

“Listen, I know it’s making you feel bad, but… Once you’ll get into the adrenaline rush and when you realize that it’s either you or them, you’ll be fighting for your life as a true survivor. I am sure of it. They should be terrified of you.” - The girl hugged you and closed her eyes for a moment, and after that, you left to search the other building. It didn’t take you a long time before finding a piece of paper full of codes. - “Well, look at this beauty. You think it can help us?” - You asked Dina, showing her the paper - and just at the moment, you heard Ellie yelling something about code from the other side. As you yelled some numbers back at her, Joel and Dina got the horses ready, making sure you’ll get them on the other side too. It was just a small moment when the gate got opened and you had run for it because the gate almost pinched you in.

“That was quite something. Everyone alright?” - Ellie asked, getting Dina a quick hug. It was weirdly terrifying watching you almost getting crushed by a gate. After checking on missing or hurt limbs, you continued your journey further into the city - and it didn’t take too long before you stopped in front of another gate. Ellie got to the work immediately - you had the codes, you had a generator… Which didn’t have fuel inside - the tank was emptied clean.

“Hey, guys?” - You asked and walked to a tear in the wall, leading into a big plain of green grass, collapsed buildings, and highways. Dina looked at a cupola in the distance, widening her eyes in realization. She pulled out a piece of paper, making you look at it. The paper was talking about some big operation WLFs got going on, about a name named Isaac and… Gas inside a courthouse and some dome. And the dome you were looking at at the moment. And… Then Dina pulled out a map you didn’t even know she took somewhere in the process.

“What do you have here, girls?” - Joel asked and stepped next to you - Ellie was still thinking about the empty tank while you two were whispering something, trying to estimate the proximity of the things you were seeing to figure out on which street the dome was located on. And so far, you’d say you and Dina had some good estimations. - “I think we just found ourselves some gas…” - Dina snickered victoriously, waving the map in the air. - “But just from looking at the place, there’s a lot of locations to scavage through, I would say.” - You whispered, looking at the sights around you. There was a building which looked like… Some fancy one, a few stores, and a big truck in the water which caught your interest. - “We better split now to cover the area quicker.”

Everyone gathered around you - and it was officially the first time since the trip started you got to plan something out. - “There’s written we are searching for… Serevina Base, which should be… The hotel over there, right?” - You asked them, pointing the pen in its direction to ensure yourself. Ellie nodded quickly. - “But the generator is out, so we need to look for gas. Which should be in the Fedra thing just across the plain,” - You pointed your hand in the direction. - “Or inside the dome there. Let’s say that each group will take one of the spots and look around them. We’ll let our horses out on plain sight in case one of us would get lost. If you do, search for the animal. When we’ll be done, well gather around here and see what we’ll have, and thing of a different plan. And if we wouldn’t get back around dusk, the other group goes to look for them. Huh. Look at me planning.” - You grinned at Dina, who just nodded. This was quite impressive - Ellie didn’t understand half of what you’ve said, but Dina and Joel did.

“The game plan will be as follows - Ellie and I will look around the dome, you guys will go for the Fedra base and to the left side of the perimeter, 'kay? If anything goes bad or worse than that, leave the place be and run away. If everything goes well, we should meet halfway in the plain. I’ll bring the map with me and we’ll mark every usable place we can scavage later, okay?” - You asked everyone in the end, having the whole group nodding. Suddenly, you understood why Jesse was always giving you these speeches before you rode on a patrol. It felt good to hype the whole group up.

Just when you were getting Joel’s stuff out of Sadie’s saddleback, the man approached you. - “You should do this more often, girl. You’re a natural.” - He smiled gently, catching your palm in his to hold it for a small while. And you just stood next to him and moved your thumb on his. - “Be safe out there, 'kay?” - Joel asked you, leaning his forehead to yours, closing his eyes for a small moment. - “Make sure Dina won’t get hurt and come back.” - A whisper left your lips before you pecked his lips, giving him the revolver ammo you were searching for. After that, you hopped on Sadie’s back, offering your hand to Ellie. As expected, she hopped on behind you and caught your waist, jolting around before she found the right spot to sit at.

“Is your ass settled, princess?” - A tease came out of you as you jumped to the grass, riding in the direction of the dome. The girl only chuckled, looking around after that.

“It’s nice out here, I have to say.” - Ellie admitted after a second of watching the wind playing with the grass. You could see a few hinds in the back with a big, strong deer and birds flying above your head. If something, Seattle looked spectacular in the sunlight, especially when the sky was almost cloudless.

“It’s something different than Salt Lake and Jackson. Nice change of view.” - You agreed, having Ellie humming at your response. Oh, shit, there you go - Ellie sure as her way about to ask some weird fucking questions and you didn’t know if you’re ready for any of them. - “He’s too old for this shit, you know that?” - The girl sighed and leaned her chin into your shoulder.

Of course, you did realize that. Joel wasn’t the youngest, that was the way things were. You didn’t know what lays in front of you, what to expect of what’s going to happen in Seattle. What if you’d have to run for your life? What if you’ll have to walk steep hills on foot? Jumping from building to building? Jesus, you stopped your train of thoughts, what am I thinking about? Joel Miller had probably better physical conditions than you, except for some scars and sometimes jolting knees. You kinda forgot about how dangerous can he be since you’ve started seeing each other - but now, you hoped that all the stories Tommy and Ellie told you were true. He could suffocate a man with his forearm even in his early fifties and that was a thing you shouldn’t forget at any time.

“I’ve never met any guy that would be at least half the tough as Joel is. I mean, maybe not even Tommy matches Joel’s level and he had some wild stuff, I tell you that. I’ll take care of the old-timer, I swear.” - There was this unsettling quiet moment you and Ellie shared when you just trotted towards the building. The city was empty, almost wiped clean. Which was unsettling a bit. You’d expect way more cars in the downtown, maybe some signs of residency, anything… But it looked empty.

“I know… But it still weirds me the fuck out, dude. I won’t be pretending I’m okay with this.” - Ellie spoke out of the blue, making you freak out a bit. You were riding in the street leading between high glass-concrete buildings, so the only things you could hear were the wind howling and Sadie’s stomping. Ellie straightened for a second, laughing at your reaction. - “Jesus, sorry for that.”

“You think I’m okay with you and Dina? I mean, no offense, but I’m used to seeing her with Jesse. You two hit it off so suddenly, like, dude, I know you liked her for the longest time possible, but…” - “I see what you’re talking about. I guess we’ll just agree that were both a bit grossed out, but we’re happy that the other one’s happy, deal?” - Ellie asked when you turned right and rode in front of the tall dome - and to your surprise, it was a court.

“I think that makes the case rested.” - You turned your head to Ellie with one of your eyebrows arched - but the girl didn’t get the joke at all. So you threw your hand in the court’s direction, having her gasp for air in realization. - “That was a poor one, babe.” - Ellie snorted. Both of you jumped off Sadie’s back, tying her rein to a nearby lamp to make sure she’s visible if Dina and Joel were trying to find you. As a treat, you gave the animal an apple you’ve carried with you since Jackson and petted her nose before walking back to Ellie. - “And you fucking love the poor jokes I make, angel, so keep the whines to yourself.” - “So you don’t want to hear any of them?” - The redhaired girl teased you back and you laughed out loud, saying something similar to 'you’re fucking gross’.

As you approached the building, you both started to get more and more serious. - “The place is probably filled with infected.” - You said what you both had on your mind. Ellie spared you a quick look and tried to open up the door for you, but it was barricaded from the inside. - “Hey, ma'am, don’t be scared. We’re going to slay it, as we always do.” - Your best friend chanted with a total dingus. After that, she slammed the door with her shoulder for the second time, massaging the shoulder afterward. - “We’ll have to circle the building, see if there’s any other way to get in. I mean, these fuckers got in, we can get in.” - Ellie offered you a high-five and you did accept it.

You did find another entrance to the building, through an old window that could be opened up. At that moment, you weren’t even nervous. It was a known fact that you and Ellie go on that patrols together because of various reasons - one being you couldn’t shoot from a gun and a second one being Ellie clumsy with Clickers.

“See a few of 'em.” - Ellie whispered to the vile silence. It wasn’t exactly silence - it was inhuman silence filled with cries and clicking of the infected in the building. The good news were that you didn’t hear low grunting of a Bloater or a Shambler, so this was a two-man job with which you could get over with pretty quick. - “You wanna do Clickers or Runners first? We have a plan B?” - She asked. You nodded, pointing at a plastic bomb in the pocket of you back. Slowly, you slid the knife out, listening to the sounds of clicking getting closer, and closer to you.

“There’s our number one.” - You grinned at Ellie and moved around the place. Safety first - Ellie loaded her gun and you did your best not to make too much sound. Clickers had a hearing three times better than a human, true, but it applied only if they were clicking in your direction - and as soon as you were hidden behind something, they knew shit - which resulted in the bitch laying on the ground in the next moment as you felt its blood soaking through your pants. You stopped for a second and watched a crying runner standing just feet from you. As soon as Ellie made sure it didn’t see you, she jumped on its back and pushed her dagger into its throat.

Slowly, you maneuvred through the rooms, searching for supplies in the process, killing every infected on sight. True trouble started when you found yourself in the entering hall which had around four infected there. Ellie made sure that her gun is loaded and palmed a brick while you kneeled, slowly taking a bomb and a lighter out of your pocket. For a moment, you watched each other before Ellie threw the brick onto a nearby wall, distracting the infected with inspecting the sound. When you lit up the fuse, you counted to four and threw the bomb in there as well, turning away from the massacre.

When you looked on the spot after the great boom, the walls were burned and painted with blood and parts of the bodies. - “Yuck.” - You grunted, looking at Ellie who was waiting if there won’t be another infected in the area. But it was looking clear. - “Your bombs never stop to make mesmerized. She offered you another high-five and you accepted.

You, my friend, were looking disgusting. You’ve come from the patrols in a worse state, sure, but you always grinned when you saw blood on your jeans. How comes that someone like Joel or Tommy rarely got dirty? The must’ve been using some fucking magic. Your best friend didn’t care about her appearance at all, she was looking around. - "Can’t see any gas here, but the elevator shaft looks promising.” - Ellie sighed and smoothed her cheek with the back of her hand, accidentally rubbing blood all over her damn face. At that, you let a sighed and motioned for her to go first.

“Looks alright down here, come… Oh, fuck!” - The girl cried out and you could hear first gunshots. Seriously, you had never got anywhere as quickly as at that moment. Without waiting around, you took the knife out, getting a runner off of Ellie. When that was over, you got out your gun which you rarely used, loaded it, and tried to hit at least something around you. It was a miracle you both got out of it alive, but the adrenaline rush made you look around with fear. You were still triggering the gun to fire, but the magazine was already empty. Which made Ellie giggle as she leaned her palms to her thighs while watching you.

“Good job, we’re clear.” - Ellie grinned, making you finally pull the trigger down. You kneeled as well, taking in a deep breath as you started to laugh too. This was a close call and the adrenaline inside your veins hit its all-time top, so as your brain relaxed, you were laughing like crazy. - “I thought you didn’t know how to use a damn gun.” - Ellie wondered and helped you on your feet.

“I never said I could use it either.” - You bickered back, looking around. It was an old garage under the court, the whole place was dark and hard to orientate in, so you both lit up your flashes.

“This was fucking badass, babe. You’ll be better than all of us one day… And… Look at this beauty.” - The girl put her palms on her hips, smiling at the sight of a gas tank. There was a small red barrel for it too, which was just perfect.

“Go on, give it a whirl. I would prefer to leave this fucking place.” - A sight left you as you put the gun back into the holder, making sure it’s secured there. With a childish grin, Ellie picked up the small barrel and put it under the pipe, turned the lever, and… - “It’s fucking empty.” - She sighed, cursing under her breath. Well, that was a bummer.

“Let’s hope that Joel and Dina find some. Come on, we can at least scavage a few stores on the way back.” - You smiled at the girl, patting her shoulder. As you said, so you did. And you were quite okay with what you’ve found - enough stuff to make some more bombs, Molotoves, two cards which Ellie was collecting, ammo and some food. Those were good finds.

A few hours later, you met up with Joel and Dina again to share the finds and the intel. To your luck, Dina managed to find some gas in something called a synagogue while the old man securing the perimeter - and they also found a nearby used fireplace possibly used by Tommy. And they found some food and stuff as well. With the fuel, the generator was running in no time and you continued your journey to the Serevina base. You were moving forward slowly and with hesitations, having your eyes opened all the time in search of the WLFs. But the place was just full of supplies, dead bodies, and infected. And as you progressed thought the building, you only found more of these. Until you bumped into that room.

When Dina saw it, she covered her mouth and ran into the corridor to vomit, you stood there in shock, Ellie widened her eyes - just Joel kept his cool as he walked around the crime scene. There were two dead people, both tied up, one of them laid on the ground in gallons of blood, and the other one was tied to a chair on wheels. Whoever did this to them, he had to have a strong stomach and a strong hatred in him.

“Shit.” - Dina muffled when she walked back into the room, cleaning her lips and mouth up with the back of her palm. - “The fuck happened here?” - She asked the same question you had on your mind. Ellie and Joel exchanged knowing looks before splitting to look at both the bodies.

“Tommy did this.” - The redhead muttered and touched the face of the wheelchair man. Dina shook her head, walking closer to the body to look at it as well. - “This? No way.” - The girl insisted. The man was crouching above the other body, watching it with his dark eyes. Ellie took in a small breath. Both the girls spared you a look as you walked forward. You did the same thing as Ellie - your thumb and index finger circled around the swollen jaw covered in old blood as you looked at the contours of his face, taking in every small detail your eyes were able to recognize. After a moment, you let his face go, looking away from everyone. A scoff you let out made Joel turn at you. He knew damn well this was his baby brother’s handwork.

“It was definitely him.” - You nodded to yourself, putting a hand in front of your lips. - “This is one of the ones that were in Baldwin when it happened.” - You nodded, looking back at the people around you.

“And this one, kiddo?” - A raspy question made you aware that Joel is standing just a foot away from you, pointing at the body laid down in the blood. Slowly, you walked to the man, even crouching to take in his face. But soon, you just shook your head. -  "I don’t recognize him. What the fuck was Tommy doing here?“ - You asked the man. But Ellie was the first one to speak.

"He was using them against each other.” - “How?” - Dina asked and looked at the bodies once more. With that, Ellie looked at the man who was now smoothing your back, ready to explain every small detail to you and her girlfriend. She pointed her palm at the body which was laid down. - “Joel told me about this. You ask this guy a question, but you don’t make him say it, you make him write it down. Then you ask the other guy. And if the facts match, they’re telling the truth. And if not…” - “You fuck 'em up.” - Dina finished and Ellie hummed quietly.

Joel knew this method? This gruesome, brutal method? Was he using it on someone? As the man felt your shoulders tense up, he looked at the emotionless expression in your face and he stepped aside immediately, letting him have your own space. Jesus, how much you didn’t know about him? Sure, he was a smuggler and he fucked up a few people here and there, what you’ve heard from Ellie’s stories - but until that point, you thought he done it for the sake of her well-being. Guess what. You were wrong.

There was this strange, vile persona inside of Joel the whole time he was by your side - and even though you knew that, it took you by a surprise. How much he had done? How much pain did he cause? What other methods of brutal torturing did Joel know? And the worst thing you realized was that once you’ll leave Seattle - you be the same as him. Your stomach was slowly turning upside down.

“This just happened, guys. He can’t be far off. Come on.” - Dina tried to cheer everyone up, yet it was met with a wall of blank stares. She nodded, again, and everyone got out of the room. You were completely lost in your thoughts as the others were doing the job - Joel’s palm in front of your face woke you up from the trance and you hopped behind him. And he knew something’s off when you didn’t catch his waist.

“Girls, wait for us back there, alrite?” - Joel called out. With that, both of them nodded. Ellie and Dina were shaken as well, but you were looking lifeless, confused, and disgusted. The man breathed out and lowered his head, waiting for you to say something. A word. A cuss. Anything.

“You ain’t good, don’t tell me you are.” - The man warned you just when you were about to ask him why you’re not riding forward. - “It’s disgusting and I know that, 'kay? But… I swear you don’t have to be afraid of me.” - Joel whispered, but truth be told, he was too afraid to look at you. At that remark, you scoffed ironically.

“Is this what you call 'I was struggling with surviving for a long time’? Listen, I knew you killed people before, I knew you stole shit from them, smuggled things for the Fireflies and survived a lot of stuff… But… Joel…” - You hopped off the horse again, walking around to somehow gather the shit together before speaking. Your lungs were begging for breath as it got shallow. Ellie watched you with worries in her face, but Dina made the girl turn away. - “It must’ve been hard for you. And I get it. But this shit? You were doing this… This fuckery to other people?” - You pointed back to Serevina. The man took in a deep breath. He was nervous as fuck - you could tell because his eyes were lingering all around except your face as his fingers played with Sadie’s rein. When he was about to say your name to calm you down, you widened your eyes to stop him.

“No. You answer this question. Did you do things like that to other people?” - You asked again, still pointing to the hotel. Slowly, the man gulped and nodded. An unbelievable laugh left your throat. - “Did you do worse than this?” - And again, the man had nodded. Joel started to move his tongue inside his mouth uncomfortably, which made you aware of what he was going through inside. - “And did you ever, at least once, planned on telling me what you’ve done to others?” - With that, only the hollowing of the wind could be heard. After a moment, the answer was clear. Joel didn’t even think of telling you.

Honestly, why should he? He told you he had done some terrible things in the past and you told him you’ll not leave his side nonetheless. You told him you didn’t care about that. But obviously, as soon as you saw first hints of Joel’s true persona, you were starting to back off. Should Joel be wondering why? No. Not at all. It was understandable. But it was still hurting him.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Joel. This is some heavy stuff I should’ve at least had a hint about, don’t you think?” - You asked, running your tongue on your lips.

“I told you what I am. You didn’t listen to it if you ask me, girl.” - Joel got off the horse too to remind you who was the man of the situation. He was also trying to make you back off with his hight and his eyes… These were as dark as an iron-colored sky.

“Am I the one who fucked up people to shreds? Who beaten them until they lost consciousness? Do I look like someone who killed another human person for the sake of business? Huh?” - You answered. Just when the man inhaled loudly, Dina jumped between you, pushing herself in between.

“I know… That this is a private matter of trust… But… Can you leave it for once we find some refuge? You can argue all you want there. Let’s just… Go now.” - She asked both of you. It took you a moment to calm down enough to hop on Sadie behind Joel, but you didn’t catch his waist nonetheless. As you were thinking about what just happened, a loud bang sounded through the street.

You barely knew what was happening - in the pressure, you caught Joel’s waist as he lost control over the horse. You couldn’t hear anything and you screamed as Sadie ran into a shop window, breaking it apart. The horse was dead in the next minute, throwing you both on the ground under it. It was hard to realize what happened as you felt the warm blood under you as you fainted.

The road just blew up.

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter: “And you consider yourself the saviour of the human race?” - Shawn James

Part summary: Just as Ellie demanded, there was the whole meeting about the fucking Baldwin cottage situation happening. And the results of it were more or less concerning.

A/N: I’ve tried to use as many in-game/trailer/promotional dialogue as I could, altering it to suit the story, and I’ve spent at least an hour alone on those dialogues (finding them in the first place, then re-writing it, altering it, etc.). Hope you’ll enjoy. (OPEN TAGS FOR FUNNY HAHA JOKE)

Warnings: Tommy is the purest of heart and the dumbest of ass, Jesse’s ass, and angry fucking Maria. Mentions of Abby, WLFs, torture and gore, anxiety. PROBABLY A LOAD OF TYPOS Y’ALL.

Word count: 7.3K

Tagging:   @nemodoren@xxgoldenhour@missdictatorme​​@peakymarvels​​@davnwillcome​@pickleriiick​@jodiereedus22​@gladiosamicitias​@tamkashi​@eternallyvenus​@avengerssstuff​@fangirl-inthe-us​@avery-miller​@mikah-writes​@mad-hatter-98​@sadiaafrin99​@flavorishy​ @mr-robot-x​ @

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS|SEATTLE DAYS

Early spring of 2038, two days before departure to Seattle:

Learning how to walk on your legs again was kinda funny, especially when you had Joel and Ellie around most of the time. As suspected, Joel calmed down about the unnecessary fight rather quickly, focusing on more oppressing matters at that moment, inviting Ellie to look after you when he was gone and the other way around. You were still noticeably climbing, but soon, you could walk to downtown on your own and you didn’t even have to beg Joel to stop for a sec to catch your breath.

Ellie, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, was still intrigued by the fact that you and Joel are now an official couple, but that didn’t mean she had got the right to tell someone what to do. And she didn’t even want to… It was just… Bothering her at some times. But as long as you were looking healthy and happy with the old man, she could still get over the whole situation somehow. The bad blood between you and Dina lasted for a few days until you played a card game for spending the evening with Ellie, which you one singlehandedly, yet you showed your character and told Dina she can keep your best friend for the night.

Life almost seemed to be going back to normal… Except it wasn’t going anywhere. The only people who knew about it was you, Joel, Maria, and Tommy. You didn’t want to tell Ellie and you hoped that your whole mental situation will be over before you and she have some girly plans. On many occasions, you’ve woken up in the middle of the night, straightaway paralyzed. A single muscle on your body couldn’t move and all you saw was the woman looking down on you, asking the question over and over again - where is Joel Miller? Do you know him?

And anything you’ve tried wasn’t helping you. Pills that should give you a sleepless night? You woke up in the middle of the night, panting and disoriented. Herbal teas? Made you sick. Joel hammering you to the bed before going to sleep? You’ve been staring at the ceiling as the man slept with his head on your naked chest. Joel and Ellie singing you a duet while you and Dina sat on the couch, watching these two arguing about every single detail? No, that didn’t help either.

You didn’t know if Abby wanted to trap you inside your head, but she accomplished the mission perfectly. You could work throughout the day, as long as the job didn’t need a lot of walking around, you were still the same you. But as soon as no-one was looking at you, panic and anxiety got a hold on you. One time, you were even helping in the kitchen and you were joking around with the cooks - and suddenly, your gaze fell on one of the knives. Suddenly, you couldn’t hear anything but cutting vegetables, and each of these sounds reminded you of the woman. The scar on your thigh started to burn as you suddenly sat in the corner, rocking yourself to keep calm.

There was still the old you inside of that head, but it wasn’t quite the same person at all. You’ve been a former Firefly, yet you weren’t on a single mission. You killed a human person before - just to protect the man you loved. What Abby has done to you was barbarism, brutality, and vileness. And that was bringing up the conflict inside of you around which you kinda could get your head wrapped around.

No-one knew what happened in the cottage yet, because you and Tommy wanted to think about the incident on your own first. And so you did - but it was tearing you up in halves. On one hand, you didn’t care for that party of shitheads at all, you didn’t want to see them again. You were just glad they had left, at least seemingly, and that they aren’t a threat for you or Joel anymore.

On the other hand, you had the feeling that no matter who it was, they’ll be back. They were searching after Joel and they didn’t find the man the first time. Who was granting you that they won’t come back for round two? This time killing you for good? Just slicing your throat for the fun of it? Another question was popping on your head rather frequently. Would Abby kill you straightaway if she’d figure out you’re sleeping with Joel? Just for the fun of causing pain? Just to leave a message?

All you did was consider yourself lucky - if they wouldn’t come when they did, you and Tommy would’ve laid there dead for hours, maybe days. But the luck was supposed to run out one day, right? It was just comforting you that it didn’t run out on that March day. Normally, you weren’t of these who would’ve sought revenge. You would just go on with your life, no matter how hard that would turn out to be. But Joel… When it came to Joel, the way you took the issues had changed. You wanted and needed to know he’s safe. And until Abby and her friends were searching for the man, he wasn’t safe.

I ain’t a good man at all, you know? You may be thinkin’ I am, but trust me, I ain’t. You could hear Joel repeating that sentence over and over again. I’ve done some terrible things and if you’d hear them, you’d most likely get up and never come back again. I was survivin’ for a damn long time. I’ve seen my friends end up dead. I’ve hurt many people. I’ve done stuff only the worst people do, you hear me? And Abby was just of the many people he’d done wrong or dirty in the past. The result of shit Joel had done.

But you hadn’t got the feeling that Joel knew Abby personally. She was young, maybe at your age, just a few years older. Maybe exactly your age, it was hard to tell. But… If Abby had known Joel personally, she’d recognize Tommy. These men bared an undeniable likeness. So Joel wouldn’t know who was she even if you’d ask him. The only thing you and Tommy took as a clue was the appliques on their jackets - WLF. Washington Liberation Front. They were soldiers just as you thought so. And came all the way from Seattle. To look for Joel. Which made you everything but calm. You asked Tommy about how Joel could’ve come to contact with such people… And Tommy didn’t have a clue.

Which only put Joel’s words in perspective. You didn’t know a whole lot about your man and there wasn’t any certainty that you’d ever get to know these things about him. What could Joel had possibly do tying up back to WLF? Smuggle guns, bomb, supplies? Kill someone for them..? Or one of them? Joel was a man of many faces and a harsh past, which you kinda knew ever since you got to know Ellie better. But it was things like these that put everything to context.

When you both agreed it’s time to tell the rest, you’ve gathered only the closest people to discuss what to do now. Ellie and Dina’s standpoints were set completely straight, they knew exactly what to do. Joel, Tommy, Jesse, and Maria were on the neutral to calm side of the spectrum. Diego was forbidden to come and you were somewhere between going after Abby and staying put. It was all to be settled down on that evening.

“So, we all know why were here.” - You started, sitting at the head of the table next to Tommy. You two somehow got out of the situation WLFs put you in, but it was sure that you’re not the same way you’ve been before - while you were only visibly limbing and some of the leg movements made you uneasy, you were fucked up mentally. Just as Tommy was perfectly healthy mentally, he told you he lived through worse things as a Firefly, his knee was poorly working as it should. Sure, he was walking, but there was no certainty that he can lead other patrols with his current physical state. - “And we decided that it will be better from my point of view because I heard a few things Tommy didn’t.” - You looked at the man, who nodded to assure you. - “Shall we?”

You’ve started since the very morning of the eighth of March - why did you even go to the patrol in the first place, how did the horde cleansing progress, up to the point where you first met her. When you mentioned her, tears appeared in your eyes again as you looked away from all the people to calm down. - “Give her a minute, it’s just too much.” - Tommy said to the rest as he walked to you with his cane in his hand, hugging your shoulder as he looked out of the window beside you. He shouldn’t be walking at all, but because his knee wasn’t drastically broken, he persuaded Bobby to give him just a brace and a cane. Either way, it was more than a month since the whole cottage thing, you both had got better. And sure, no-one was pressuring you to talk. You had the whole night if you needed to.

For you, it was a terrifying experience to go through all of this… Again. Mentally. It wasn’t good for you to go back to the day in such details, but it needed to be done. Yet with every syllable, Abby’s eyes got clearer and clearer inside of your head, watching you, judging you, laughing at you. The moment when she lifted you off the ground like a piece of shit, it was all there suddenly. Your throat clenched for a second while you re-lived through the memory, making your gasp for air and gently smooth the veins there. Tommy smoothed your shoulder carefully, looking at the profile of your face.

“Feelin’ good now, kiddo?” - Tommy asked when you blinked twice to get yourself out of the moment. With a long sigh, you nodded and walked back to the table to continue with the story.

“There was a blizzard out there, you could barely see three feet in front of you. So the woman, named Abby, offered us to show us the way to a nearby cabin where she and her friends were taking refuge at the time. Naturally, we agreed to this offer because we would most likely get lost in the snow and freeze to death somewhere. Abby’s friends saved us from a small portion of the horse, and they took us inside.” -  You looked directly at Joel for a minute, trying to find comfort inside his face, finding concern only. That wasn’t a good sign. - “When I stepped inside, I immediately noticed that there’s something wrong with the people. I’ve seen a lot of groups passing through Jackson to get some sleep, gather supplies, food, water… But these didn’t look anything like it. The clothes, moves, each of them looked strong. There was this lady who approached me and asked me if I’m feeling okay. To which I replied, that I am feeling alright.

I tried to signal Tommy that I don’t feel safe inside that house, but he was talking to this Hispanic man, I didn’t quite catch his name. So I played along and followed Abby deeper into the house. There, I met… Oscar? Omar? Oliver…? Owen. This man was Owen. And he was furious and they started to argue. For a reason, everyone started to gather in the room to look at us, and I could tell straight away that something was going downhill. Tommy was chatting with them and suddenly, Abby turned to me and asked me this question. I can hear the voice asking it every fucking night, again, again, and again. It haunts me.” - A shaky breath left your lips as you jolted in discomfort. Tommy already knew what was coming, so he just stared at his hands entwined on the table.

“Do you know a man named Joel Miller by any chance?” - You repeated, hearing Abby asking you the question, staring down on you. You’ve been feeling everything you felt when Abby was just one foot away from you. The nerves, dry mouth, and the desperate need to keep yourself under control. And this time, it even felt harder than before, because you knew what comes next.

“To which I replied that I don’t know any man by that name. But I fucked up, it is how it is. And I swear to you that this… Woman… Put her arm around my neck, picked me off the ground, and choked me. And all she said was ’Hey, we don’t wanna kill you. But we will.’ And she tried to do just that. Before you guys came in.” - A shiver ran down your spine as the picture of the woman kneeling beside you popped up inside your head. Owen holding the chair as Abby had beaten you up, helping her with the nails. Your hands were looking disgusting. Sure, it was way better and most of the nails started to grow back, but the ones on your pinkies and ring finger were gone.  

“What are we waiting for?” - Ellie asked suddenly, having every stare turned at her and Dina. She was visibly shaken - not only did they fucked you up like two dogs, but they were after Joel as well. - “Washington Liberation Front. We know where that is, don’t we?” - The girl asked fiercely, but Maria pointed her palm at the girl, stopping her from hyping a super-dangerous plan which would only get everyone killed.

“Joel, when did you work for the WLF?” - Maria furrowed, looking at her brother-in-law. - “I thought you were smuggling for the Fireflies and other people back in Boston, but you never mentioned running the business in Seattle… Or in this area generally.” - The woman asked silently, and each of you looked at Joel. But the man was out of his mind as well - it was his fault, just as he thought so. The past always found its way to him, didn’t it?

“I’ve never worked in Seattle. I don’t know any WLFs, never met ‘em.” - Joel answered shortly, looking down on his palms

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care who the fuckers are, what did they want of what they need from the old man here. They’ve been trying to get one of us, what if they show up again?” - Ellie jumped straight to the chase again, this time standing up. - “They most likely know where we live, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out the patrol trails, and they’ve been here once, what thing on Earth is holding them from getting into the area again? Huh? And what if they kill us all? What if they bring more people back? Huh?” - She looked at everyone with a hint of disgust in her face. This time, Tommy was the one to take a calm approach.

“Kiddo, sit down, will ya? We have no idea what we’re walkin’ into. You don’t know anythin’ about them. We don’t know how large that group is, how armed they are,” - “What are you doing?” - Ellie snapped back. The girl was walking on mighty thin ice, as Joel would say, but you got what she’s after. These people were nothing but a threat to Jackson - and more importantly to Joel. You couldn’t simply leave that be, hoping they won’t come back. But you didn’t say anything out loud, you just sat there and looked into the table desk, minding your own business.

“I don’t care. Joel told me that this isn’t my decision to make. Guess what, Tommy. It is from now on. These people tried to harm my family. I think you got the best idea about what kind of people they are. And I’m going no matter how you decide. You can’t stop this. You can’t stop me.” - The girl walked out of the room, leaving you all there. Dina looked at Maria, who was already scheming a plan.

“This is suicide. No-one ain’t is going after them. I don’t care, I… I will put my men around her house to keep an eye on her…” - Maria was whispering frantically, trying to figure out what to do to keep the girl down. Joel exhaled loudly and took one look at you, closing his eyes in pain. He knew that empty look you were giving the piece of furniture. Whenever Ellie was about to take off, you will follow her for a few various reasons - you didn’t want to get herself killed. And you didn’t want to see Joel get hurt. And deep down inside, there was another reason which was the most understandable - you wanted to hurt back the people who hurt you. It could be barely seen that you’re trembling, thinking about what you’ll do. The world seemed to be so empty suddenly.

There was no other choice - you were going to Seattle.

“If she decides to go, Maria, no patrols are going to stop Ellie. The question is who will come with her.” - Jesse told everyone quietly. With that, Joel had the last spark of home inside of him - maybe you won’t be so stupid to agree with Ellie’s short-fire plan. Yet when you closed your eyes, having a small wrinkle on your forehead, he knew that you’re not the case.

Shortly after, everyone got home. And it felt off-putting to watch Joel’s house, knowing you’ll leave as soon as Ellie decides to go. You and Dina agreed about exchanging the intel the other day, once she and Ellie come up with some plan.

The house was looking way better than ever before. Up to that point, you never realized it has a perfect location in a good neighborhood. Especially, when Joel didn’t have many neighbors. All you could see was the best ways to sneak to his door, and when you left that out, you only knew the inside of the house. And as the spring was slowly coming back, the flowers, bushes, and trees started to finally blossom after the long winter. Birds were singing the whole time you were walking to the porch, the warm wing was smoothing your skin and messing with your hair. How comes that you’ve never noticed the golden film of the sunlight? Or the innocent white of the evening clouds?

“You 'kay back there?” - Joel asked you from opening the door. You were leaning into the railing, watching the surroundings. After a small while of watching the man, you gave him a vulnerable smile and nodded. For a minute, Joel still stood there and waited for you to come in, but you didn’t move an inch. You turned your head back to look at the neighborhood and the mountains in the landscape. That was when he walked next to you, leaning into the wood as well. - “What’s goin’ inside that head of yours, huh?” - He whispered, slowly pulling closer until your shoulders bumped into each other.

“Never noticed how beautiful Jackson can be - until now, cowboy.” - An honest whisper left your lips. Joel didn’t like your expression at all - there was this sadness and melancholy inside of it and Joel would bet everything that he knew exactly what was going on inside your head.

“Girl, if you’re thinkin’ about the Abby kiddo, stop it. For both my and yours sake. This kind of thoughts won’t bring any good, you hear me?” - The man whispered and lowered his head enough to kiss the top of your shoulder. - “What happens at Baldwin, that stays at Baldwin. I don’t want you to see you get near the stables, weaponry, you won’t be sneakin’ out at midnight, we clear?” - Joel asked, having you snickering at his statement and the whole topic. You knew you’re about to pull that stunt. And he knew it as well. But it felt cute that he’s putting so much care into this whole thing.

“I told you that I’m not thinking about the Baldwin cottage thing. I’m not. I’m just looking at nature, taking in the sights, you know?” - You smiled, trying to look at least a bit happy for Joel. The man looked into your eyes for a moment with an unnatural expression. But in the end, he nodded and looked away from you. Both of you knew that you’re lying, but neither of you wanted to talk about the lie more closely. - “I was thinking about playing some gee-tar. What about you bringing me that instrument and making me a cup of coffee before we go to sleep, Joel?” - You asked after a moment, having the man realizing how vulnerable you were at the moment. He could just call you out about the bullshit. Yet he didn’t. Joel just smoothed your back with his palm, pulling you a bit closer.

“You don’t drink coffee. Didn’t the coma messed with your brain, baby girl?” - The man asked but slowly walked to the door. You just sighed, reminding him of sugar. He brought everything anyway - both the guitars, both the mugs with the coffee and some fruits you could both snack on. The first songs you’ve played were shaky and off the rhythm, your voice wasn’t the best either, which had you cringe a lot.

The man was calming you down, reminding you to have patience and not to jump into things too quickly. The best moment of the night was when you played A-Ha together, Joel playing the instrument while you curled up in the rocking chair, which he brought for you from the cabin in the woods, and sang. When the conversation you two had slowly faded away, you caught yourself falling asleep as Joel was playing with his guitar, playing parts of various songs you didn’t even know. He had woken you up an hour or so after, making sure you won’t be too bitten by mosquitos.

The following day, the signal you were waiting for came - Dina ran to you while you were helping in the kitchen and the diner. She told you, very hastily, that you will take off the following day, two hours after midnight, and that you’ll have a meeting point at the south breach. Jesse, who was authorized to spy on both you and Dina, along with Ellie and Joel, had to see it because of course, he had. It was quite logical when you had a shift in the kitchen at the same time.

“What are you two whispering about, birdies?” - The boy leaned between your heads. If you had to be honest, he was looking good with the apron and a crooked smile on his lips as he held the bowl with the yeast dough. After a smile while of looking at him, you gave him your typical chuckle, getting back to the vegetables in front of you.

“About your ass.” - You answered innocently. At that, Dina joined you, leaned her ass into the counted next to your workplace. Her eyes looked at her ex-boyfriend’s ass shamelessly. After a moment, her agreeing hum sounded next to your ear as both you and Jesse snickered. - “I mean, Y/N’s not wrong. Maybe you’ll finally have your luck with Bobby now you’re single?” - Dina asked, offering you a hand to do a high five. The boy looked at you with an offense in his grinning face, running his tongue along the line of his teeth.

“All I said is that the lady has a nice bottom. It was at the Christmas party, there was a lot of eggnogs and I was drunk. Don’t ever bring that up again. Deal?” - Jesse pointed the wooden spoon at the two of you. Dina and you behaved childishly quite often, but it was never too inappropriate or annoying. You know where to put the stop to the whole playing-around thing.

“I certainly can’t promise that, Jesse.” - “Me neither” - You both shook your heads and you started to cut the tomatoes again. You already cleaned and cut more than one big bag of them and there was still a lot remaining. And trust me, you were a lot in the kitchen since you got back from the Baldwin place. It was occurring because of two main reasons - Maria wanted to have you under control and you still weren’t sure about somehow getting through the whole patrol process.

“I would miss this… If you’d were going to Seattle.” - Jesse whispered, looking into the dough in front of him. Dina flashed her eyes at you and licked her lips swiftly. Jesse had to know that you were up to something and he even had to know what was that something. - “Thank God you’re not that dumb.” - Jesse gave you a shining smile over the shoulder, leaning back to the dough.

“Yeah, exactly. Thank God we aren’t.” - You repeated and watched Dina leaving as she pointed two fingers up to signal you the time you, her, and Ellie will meet up. Neither of you planned on sleeping that night - you decided to sneak out, walk at least five miles from Jackson, find a cover and sleep there. So it was special for you when you and Joel were getting into bed. Neither of you felt like sex, so you just told each other about your days as you laid down, preparing for some sleep. Just like the first time, he’ll wake up and he’ll be alone. That was almost poetic.

It was a repeating cycle - but this time, Joel won’t find you wandering around the city. Sure, the man got a little suspicious when you didn’t want to cuddle closer and you just laid there facing each other. While the man was already drifting off, or so you suspected, you were just laying there and memorized every inch of his face. The gray, maybe-too-long but still maintained haircut and trimmed beard, a bit crooked nose with a small scar in the middle, deep wrinkles on his forehead and two leading down from his cheeks - these were visible especially when he spoke or smiled at you. Your hand was itching to feel the nicely-shaped lips, slowly caressing away down to his throat to feel the rough skin with fading suntan. But you just laid there with tears in your eyes, fighting an urge to cry.

He was beautiful. He was. And you were leaving him just to make sure he was safe. What a fucking irony.

To your surprise, you had fallen asleep. When you woke up, you’ve just opened up your eyes and looked around, Joel wasn’t in the bed. First, you thought you’re late and that he maybe knew what you were planning on doing, but you exhaled slowly when you heard the water in the bathtub moving around. He was probably taking one of his late-night baths. He had tendencies to do that when he was sleeping poorly or when he had woken up in the middle of the night. But it urged you to act quickly.

You pulled a backpack from under the bed, checking that there are your gun and the knife. Quickly, you threw some sweatshirt and a few t-shirts to change on your journey, put some warm clothes on and sneaked downstairs to put the boots on. You were moving around swiftly and quietly to make sure Joel won’t be suspicious - he had to hear you walking around the place, but there wasn’t a single word coming from the bathroom, so you supposed you’re safe.

Slowly, you took in a long breath as you palmed the doorknob, closing your eyes. - “Lord, please grant me your mercy and take care of Joel when I’m gone. And make sure hell forgive me over the time, deal?” - You prayed. You never went to the church and you, neither Fireflies nor your parents weren’t religious people. You didn’t know how prayers worked, what to say, or how to concept it. But it felt good to say something to the entity up there. And if there wasn’t anything, you just felt good about saying it out loud.

Shit almost hit your pants when the dining room lit up suddenly and Joel leaned his shoulder to the doorframe. He didn’t even have to say a word and you already knew he’s pissed. He was clothed, just after a bath and his furrow, dear Lord, that was some nightmare fuel.

“You goin’ somewhere?” - The man asked quietly, crossing his forearms on his chest. Slowly, your hand let the doorknob go. A quick cuss left your lips when you smoothed your wet hands on your thighs, taking in a deep breath. Jesus, you never felt so bad. You were busted, like five-year-old stealing candy from the cookie box. - “Joel…” - You put one of your palms up, trying to calm him down before he’d let the thunder fell on you.

“I asked you 'bout lettin’ the whole Baldwin thing go and you looked me in my damned eyes and said ’yea’. Did you think that you’re so unobtrusive, actin’ like you hadn’t an idea that I know what’s up? You think you’re so clever, huh? Jesse told me 'bout the small date you and Dina had in the kitchen.” - Joel walked to you slowly and you could tell that you’re just fucked up. There was no other way to put it. Joel busted your ass and probably, he told Maria, so you weren’t going anywhere.

“Don’t try to stop me, Joel. If you stop me now, I’ll just sneak out later. All it would do would be setting Dina and Ellie alone, and if there’d be just the two of them…” - You started to talk frantically, but Joel’s palms on your shoulders made you stop. He was looking you in the face with a slight furrow. When you wanted to wiggle out, his palm caught your cheek and the man made you look up at him.

“I am not stoppin’ you. I told you, baby girl, that if you’d like to go after 'em, we will go after 'em together. I am disappointed and we’ll need to talk about that later, but I won’t be stoppin’ you, nor Dina, nor Ellie. I just don’t wanna lose you, 'kay?” - The man breathed out as the oxygen in his throat hitched. You put both your palms on his chest, looking him in the face. Your tongue tried to tell all the words you wanted to tell him, all the syllables you had inside your head, but nothing came out of your mouth.

Was there any sense in trying to talk Joel down from coming with you? The man had his head and he was stubborn, so you wouldn’t stop him for shit. This was dangerous for him. Joel wasn’t the youngest, his reflexes weren’t that good either, and… Anything could go wrong. He could die. He could die for real. Slowly, you licked your lips, hugging the man. Sure, it will weird Ellie out to have Joel coming with you on another adventure. But… More eyes see more, more brains know more and more hands could do more, right? Ellie will find her way around it, you were sure of that.

“Took my revolver and the ammo I’ve had hidden for it with me. You’re taking your bow and quiver, right?” - He whispered to your ear. Oh. OH. The bow and arrows. You would’ve forgotten it at home if Joel didn’t bring it up. Because of the pressure around.

With a smile, you walked to the cabinet you kept your toys in, taking them out. - “You’re secretly hoarding ammo without telling Maria about it? Where are the days when your ass didn’t take any ammo with it on patrols?” - A question rang throughout the silent house, having Joel chuckle in response. - “You’re the most paranoid person I know, Miller. But I love for that, God knows I do.” - You walked back, putting the weapon on the table as you wrapped your hands your the nape of his neck. - “I love…” - Joel answered, but he was interrupted by the noises coming from the outside.

The subtle romantic moment was ruined by something going on on the street. Quickly, you walked to the window to look out of it - and your eyes widened horrifiedly when you saw Maria stomping right to your door, leading Dina and Ellie behind her. Fuck, she must’ve caught them earlier. And she looked so pissed that you felt your stomach tighten.

“Did Jesse told Maria about this?” - You asked Joel, quickly hiding your and his backpack, putting the arrows and the bow down from the table. It was weird enough to find you both dressed up for a stroll at two a.m., but when Ellie and Dina were busted already, you were busted too.

“No, the boy didn’t tell her. He just wanted me to know 'cause he was worried you’re gonna get yourself killed, that’s what he told me.” - Joel shook his head, already watching his sister-in-law stomping on the porch, knocking on the door. Well… Maria didn’t knock. She almost broke the door in halves.

For a moment, Joel looked at you to see if you’re calm enough and then, he finally opened up, a crooked smile playing on his lips. Ellie’s eyes shot wide open when she saw him all ready as well, but there wasn’t space for her to speak, so she just sent you a nod. And Dina? She looked the worst, like a small kid who waited for a slap. - “Hey. Wouldn’t expect you here so late, Maria, howdy,” - Your man started charmingly, bit the blonde woman just pushed him out of the doorframe, walking straight to the dining table.

“What happened?” - You whispered to Ellie. Before the girl answered, she licked her lips and shook her head, giving you a clear idea. She didn’t know. But before she opened up her mouth, Maria pointed her finger into the wooden desk of the table.

“Sit down, all four of you. And don’t test my patience.” - She ordered quietly, but her voice hinted on how infuriated she was. The situation was wickedly hilarious - Joel, a man in his early fifties, you, and two girls around their twenties were getting bitched down like a band of kindergartners. And by the looks of it, Maria wasn’t slowing down.

“Maria, I’ve headed to Seattle, I wish I could let it all go, but I can’t. I have to bring these people to justice.” - She started to read from a piece of paper in her palm, looking at you and Ellie specifically. - “Ellie was right. I can’t let them get away with the stuff they’ve done to the poor girl and with the stuff they planned on doing. I just can’t. What if they’d come back, attacking at us in full force? What’s holding them back?” - She read the question mockingly, but let you all know she doesn’t want to get an answer on that one. She licked her lips to progress with the letter.

“I know that at least one of the three girls will come after me. Assign patrols checking on their houses in the night, make them busy, take their guns, lock the guns and horses up, maybe lock all of them up?” - Maria was getting more and more infuriated just by reading the text. So Jesse didn’t tell on you. Tommy had set to Seattle on his own, holy motherfucking love of Jesus Christ. That was just a dumb idea which sure will get him killed.

“Buy me some time so I can end this on my own terms. Love you always, Tommy.” - She finished and leaned her palms into the table. - “Do you realize what this letter means? Any of you? He’s gonna get himself killed.” - Maria bent the paper in halves, taking in a long breath.

Ellie rolled her eyes and you could see her inflating her cheeks with anger. Each of you was in a different stage of anger at that moment. And Ellie’s was most probably the most hot-headed and childish, but she spoke first nonetheless. - “I told you that you can stop this, Maria. We need to finish this. He should’ve taken us with him. You should’ve given us a group to go after those fuckers right away!” - The girl whispered recklessly, looking into the desk with tongue running over her front teeth. The blonde woman sighed loudly, rolling her eyes.

At that, Maria laughed cold-heartedly, looking at the girl with anger burning inside her eyes. Whatever was going on inside Maria’s head, it was a real fight. Dina turned her head at you when you breathed out, shook your head, and lowered it down. This was your fault. Your fucking fault. Tommy had the feeling that he has to do it for you. The man could barely work and his arm still wasn’t good either. This mission wasn’t only a suicidal one, it was pure madness. - “Wish I could.” - The old woman looked Ellie in the eyes rather daringly, as if she was daring the girl to do something.

“So, now what, Maria? You wanna lock us up inside our houses? Take away our guns? Will you make us… Busy?” - Ellie opposed and finally looked at Maria. This situation was extremely uncomfortable for everyone - while Ellie had full-on one on one argument with Maria, while the three of you, you, Dina and Joel, sat there in dead silence, each of you lost in your thoughts. But you still listened to the topic of the conversation, in case of Maria would try directly verbal-assaulting anyone else. Sure, she was just mad, but if this fight would go off the rails… Some rather nasty things could’ve been said. Some of which couldn’t be taken back.

“Well, when you’re asking me so nicely, I’d prefer that you’d both stay,” - Maria sighed and looked at you and Ellie sitting next to each other. You two were definitely where this suicidal idea to go to Seattle came from, she was sure of that. You most likely wanted to protect Joel, which as cavalierish as it was crazy, and Ellie wanted to revenge you. At that, Ellie spangled on her feet, having an offended expression in her face. When she pointed her finger at maria, the woman lowered her head. - “That’s not gonna fucking happen,” - “ I’d prefer that you’d both stay, but I know you better.” - With that, Ellie shut up in surprise as Maria walked to the other half of the table, now looking at Joel and Dina.

“Are you going with them?” - She rose her eyebrows. The man didn’t answer, he just nodded, and Dina let out an offended 'yeah’ as if it wasn’t obvious.

“What did you planned on doing? Just sneaking outta here? On foot? Huh?” - Maria made herself snicker ironically after hearing another yeah, this time from Ellie. You, you were impossible. Sneaking on foot out of Jackson and traveling to Seattle? In the cold and stormy spring that was coming? Sometimes, you were dumber than Maria thought. Everyone was silent as you watched Maria looking out of the window into the night neighborhood, taking in another deep breath. When she was sure she won’t kill any of you on the spot, she turned back to the table, leaning into it and staring into everyone’s eyes.

“I told the stable to let you out with Sadie and Shimmer. Grab some ammo too. And some food and sleeping bags.” - At that, each of you shut up. And Maria started tearing up, so she closed her eyes for a moment to calm down.

“Thank you, Maria.” - Dina whispered with true respect in her voice, watching the lady calming down by walking around Joel’s dining room. But then, she looked at you and Ellie with a saddened smile. - “Just, uh, do me a favor and bring my dumbass husband home in one piece, please. And… When you come back from there, we won’t be ever talking about it again. No Abby, no WLFs, no golf clubs, no cottage in the mountains. We’ll pretend that it never had happened.” - Maria sighed. Ellie started nodding as the first one as she went to hug Maria tightly to calm the woman down. Then you went to share the hug with them, having Dina joining in as the last one. Joel sat there and watched you with a sad smile.

“All right then.” - Maria stepped aside, looking at the three of you. You were always together when you did something good, something bad or something crazy. And this, to Maria’s surprise, checked every box. - “Get going, you’re… The way to Seattle is long, even on horseback and you need as much daylight as you can get. And to your information, Jesse didn’t tell me you’re planning on leaving. It was Diego who heard it.” - And with that, Maria walked out of the house with the letter in her hand, shaking hands and teary eyes.

You stood there for a little longer, not knowing how to react. And as usual, Ellie was first to break the awkward silence. - “Holy motherfucking shit. I can’t believe it worked out.” - She sighed and sat down for a little longer as you and Joel get to preparing your gear again. Dina scoffed ironically, leaning into the back of the chair.

“Not to be the one who’s breaking it to you, but everything had fucked up as much as it could and Tommy with his fucked up leg and arm is currently MIA.” - Well, that was one way to look at the situation as well.

“Don’t worry 'bout him for now. He’s a capable guy, I saw a lot of things he has done while he was a Firefly. Trust me, if someone should be worried, it’s the fuckers in Seattle.” - Joel answered at that statement and zipped his jacket all the way under his chin, controlling the stuff he picked up once again. Your backpacks were full of personal stuff, but once you’d get to the horses, you’ll do some space management and it’ll be good. - “Since when you’re going, old-timer? I don’t see this happening.” - Ellie licked her lips, watching Joel’s face with one of her stubborn gazes.

“Then open up your eyes, kiddo. If she’s comin’, I’m comin’.” - The man looked at you with a smile and you smiled back. Both the girls were uncomfortable for a while, watching the two of you, but after a small while, Ellie nodded and clapped. - “'kay. Fine. Alrite. Maria’s right. The earlier we go, the further we get, the sooner we can catch some sleep.”

Y’all? I’m just putting the finishing touch on the last chapter (not last in the series, but the one I’m working on currently) of Favored Ones and I realized it accidentaly has almost 7K words and I’m not done with the chapter yet?