theshitpostcalligrapher:

bold-sartorial-statement:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

themintykid:

systlin:

hiking-viking:

chromalogue:

kirkspocks:

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth,
And bathed his count'nance fair.
Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar,
I found on the cold pavement
While returning in glory | from a grand hunt
For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay@systlinhmu

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

elijah-kamski:

I found this gem on twitter and I’m laughing so hard now

absolxguardian:

general-george-washington:

absolxguardian:

general-george-washington:

It just occurred to me that people do not know about what some people make chicken coops out of and it’s a Shame

Please, enlighten us

So the thing with chickens are, they are adaptable and frankly, do not care.

you

can

use

just

about

anything

Here are some more that I like:

This is amazing. I have been blessed by this knowledge

perichristmas:

roseystims:

roseystims:

hey heads up if you get a youtube ad that’s chris pratt telling you not to skip, take his advice. it’s an ad for the Lego Movie 2 that literally plays the entire first movie

partywithponies:

censorbotoffical:

partywithponies:

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

beepboop. censorbot approved

“Me, refusing to leave: sir, this is my emotional hell” is a funnier text post than my original one, good job censorbot.

dingdongyouarewrong:

old enough to remember when smut was called ‘lemons’ but young enough that i had absolutely no business knowing that smut was called ‘lemons’ at the time 

aww-so-pretty:

dragon-of-creation:

Studio Ghibli: the name of our movie would be “Laputa: Castle in the sky”

People who don’t speak Spanish: OH that’s amazing

People who speak Spanish: *choke on saliva* La QUE?!

mr-tom-hiddlestoned:

delicatemv:

cinderteethe:

yo-its-matt:

yo-its-matt:

yo-its-matt:

yo-its-matt:

*opens tinder*

*sees the name “Brantleigh”*

*closes tinder*

*reopens tinder*

*closes tinder*

Hey I’m having an aneurism

I don’t even have anything to add with this one

…drittney?

it’s drittney bitch

it’s drittney ditch

tami-taylors-hair:

nuclearsweetheart:

emeline-savage:

thomas-is-so-vine-and-kind:

*makes a phone call*

*walks around in circles*

Fun fact: your brain is trying to find the person you’re talking to because it hears them but can’t see them.

Fucking stupid ass brain

thebeakincarnate:

Splash your hand in the water