#body issues

anti-capitalistlesbianwitch:

deafchildcrossing:

theopinionatedartist:

skeletree:

hungrylikethewolfie:

inkdot:

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic?  She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing.  But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great.  She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success.  So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear.  Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles.  He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses.  You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on.  Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered.  He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit.  That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way.  I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did. 

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this.  But no one ever told me.  I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes.  No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed.  I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to.  No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to.  I guess I just didn’t know.  I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while.  But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not.  Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

This post is one of those things that I will reblog every time it appears on my dash.  This is so important, and no one ever tells you about it.

I almost didn’t read this but then I did and I’m really glad that I did.

Super important

Tldr: The reason clothes never “looked right on you” is because models and celebrities always had their clothes tailored to fit them perfectly.

This is so important. If something doesn’t fit you perfectly, the problem is the clothes, not you.

self deprecation is bad but will i continue doing it? absolutely! however i am making an effort to do it less and less and i encourage you all to do the same. you won’t stop immediately but the less you do it the better you’ll feel and also you deserve self love so be kind to yourself

would literally rather throw myself off a cliff than to be touched by a person like no thank you stay away

my chronic pain has completely ruined even the idea of ever being intimate with someone i would literally rather die than to be touched i feel so unwanted yet i don’t even want to entertain the idea of someone liking me

i truly don’t understand how people like staring at themselves in the mirror. one glance that last for too long and i can feel my brain shortcutting and preparing itself for a breakdown i just can’t do it i hate it here

im young yet my body feels rotten and wasted like it’s already decaying ready to just become dust. i hate being pointed out that im young as if that means i must be perfectly healthy. i hate feeling like my body has failed me and im not like others. i hate my body and i hate myself

not to be on my self-deprecation mode but existing as an ugly person be taking a toll on me as time goes by, like damn im ugly as fuck and nobody wants me and i am definitely not getting attractive ever, and i’ll just have to live like this for the rest of my life, this is pain

ihaveemotionalmotionsickness:

…that this is NOT a bullying blog.  

the teasing on this site is playful, as you maybe teased your crush in elementary school. some of us like ‘em a little more cuddly than others is all!

there is a lot of pressure to have the “perfect” body: six-pack abs, ETC.  guys have body issues too!   and if your body is not “perfect”, just remember, your body IS perfect to somebody.  we tease because we love.  if you gain a few pounds, you’re certainly not getting kicked out of THIS bed.