I wanted to look up what kind of dogs the vikings had in order to make a historically accurate shitpost meme, but while googling “viking dog”, figuring I’d find pictures of some kind of big cool war dogs or dogs used for hunting moose and bear, but instead I found this
the noble vallhund
herder of cows and biter of ankles
This is literally a viking corgi.
The Pembroke Welsh Corgi developed starting roughly 1,000 years ago from a mix of the 3,000yo breed that was the historical Cardigan Welsh Corgi (first brought to Wales with Celtic groups emigrating from continental Europe), and Spitz type dogs that were brought in with the Viking raids 1,000 years ago.
Corgis are a mix of Viking and Celt, and that’s neat. The vallhund is literally very close family to at least the Pembroke corgi.
There are a number of Scandinavian dog breeds that might be also associated with Vikings, most of which are spitzen. The Norrbottenspetz, Karelian Bear Dog, Finnish Lapphund, Icelandic Shepherd, Finnish Spitz, etc.
Special additional shout out for the Norwegian Lundehund, which was developed to hunt puffins. (Lunde means puffin). They look like a generic medium dog at first.
Except they have secret weapons just for clambering over rocks to get puffins. They have six fully-formed and muscled toes per foot, as well as extreme range of motion in their joints.
And there’s your lesson in weird Viking dogs.
The extra-toed puffin dog I only ever heard about in an encyclopedia of dog breeds until now. They’re very rare!
At the annual Houston RenFest we’d always get one or two furries that walk around and every time the general reaction from the medieval roleplayers is akin to “BEASTS? BEASTS THAT WALK LIKE MAN? FOUL!”
Last time I went a furry volunteered for an impromptu conversion/exorcism and a guy dressed as a monk gathered a bunch of people and using a Gatorade bottle performed an entire catholic christening while reading off the instructions on his Ipad. When the furry was fully “converted” he removed the head of his costume and everyone in the crowd pretended to freak out and say shit like “GlORY BE HE IS SAVED” “CHRIST HAS BROKEN HIS CURSE”
Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.
Who makes the porn bots.
Where do they come from. What do
they hope to achieve.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.
do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?
My voice repeats what
you all say: I love you I
love you I love you.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Elf video games: 300 hour jrpgs with legions of characters and several novels worth of text. Labrynthine upgrade trees and customization options. The most insufferably unintuitive UI possible. A single turn based battle can take hours. Every character has an ennui stat.
Dwarf video games: Basebuilding strategy FPSs that has a whole wiki page on the flexile vs tensile strengths of different building materials. Dwarven rhythm games have minigames where you have to manage supply lines. Mortals cannot comprehend dwarven grand strategy games.
Halfling video games: What appears on the surface to be a viscerally calming farming sim is actually an extraordinarily complex social combat game about cutthroat HOA politics.
Goblin video games: Wildly unbalanced collectathon gatchas where half the fun is finding new hilariously broken strategies. Zany uberviolent team shooters about bugs. MOBAs so bad it’s almost art.
Orc video games: Addictive in-browser flash games with names like “Beast Crush 4” and “Borag Meat Game.” The art is always kinda bad but in a charming way. The music always slaps.
Goblin code looks incomprehensible but if you take the time to look through it, you realize it’s actually optimized in ways you never thought were even possible. Goblins are responsible for like 75% of every games modding community. Goblins all run Linux.
There is no orc game larger than a gigabyte. There are legends of an orc coder successfully ran DOOM on a raw lamb shank.
