Thomas: Look, Newt, if there was one thing that stood between you and happiness, don’t you think I would be there to help you get it? No matter how stupid it was.
Newt:You’re right, Thomas. If I was doing something stupid, you definitely would be involved.
Newt: Oh, no, no, no. I was just kidding. I never yell. Even when I’m mad. I just push it down really deep, and then I wake up in the middle of the night, panicked and sweaty for no reason.
I’m shadowbanned and someone took my video taking me out and putting themselves in it and ended up getting thousands of likes and views. I’m so pissed.
I grinned a little as a tear fell down the side of my face. I couldn’t even feel the hard floor under me, the pieces of metal and dirt sticking to my uncovered skin, but I couldn’t really feel it.
“What are you smiling for?” I did my best to turn my head to the side, looking at the boy who glanced at me with a smile but mixed feeling in those deep brown eyes. His dirty blonde hair seemed even dirtier. I grimaced. He looked skinnier. But all of us were. Stress and fear were things that could make you lose a vast quantity of weight.
“I,” I paused, taking a breath. “I was thinking of the first time I met you.”
Newt shook his head, his dirty hair not moving softly like it used to do. “Bloody hell,” A tiny laugh escaped through his lips. How long has it been since I heard him laugh? “I was so mean to you.” I nodded my head, hiding the gasp that pleaded to escape. “But you did put me in my place as always.”
“You were so mean just because I was new to the maze?” I always wanted to ask. Newt is a sweet person, and as soon as I saw him, I knew there were hidden motives.
He shook his head. “I thought if I treated you like that, the other would do the same and ignore you. We tried doing the same thing with Teresa.” I grimaced at the mention of the brown-haired girl. “We were a little worried that the other boys would try to do something because you both were the only girls.”
“But you couldn’t resist me.” I tried to wink, my entire body aching. Newt got closer to where I was lying down on the ground. His fingers went to my hair, fingers intertwined with some locks that had knots.
“No one could.” He offered me a sad smile. “Why?” I had tried to converse with him as much as I could, not wanting that conversation to come out. “Why did you do it?”
“You don’t deserve it.” Newt bit his lower lip, swallowing and glancing to the side, blinking as much as he could, attempting to hide his wet eyes. “You are like my big brother. I wanted to save you.”
“You are like my little sister.” He answered back. “It is me who should be saving you.”
“You already saved me.” He flinched, remembering that time when we were back inside the maze. A time where I was confused, lost and scared and did my best to take myself out of the maze…without actually entering it. Newt found me in the forest, unconscious. However, I remember his screams, asking, no, pleading for help. “Hey, Newt?” He hummed, using his stained jacket to dab his tears. “Do you think he will arrive on time?” Newt immediately looked at me, eyes widened. Minho had walked closer, exactly when I had questioned the blonde boy. "Will he?“
"He always arrives on time.” Minho decided to answer while resting a hand on Newt’s shoulder, who glanced at him while offering him a shake of his head. “But there is nothing for what he has to arrive on time.” He clenched his teeth, trying to convince himself because he knew he wasn’t going to convince me.
I shivered. Minho and Newt took their jackets a the same time. However, it was Minho who placed his on top of my chest, trying to calm my trembling body. “I hope he arrives on time.” I stopped looking at them, glancing at the dark sky above me. “And I hope he is safe.”
“We are talking about Thomas.” Minho interrupted. “He is always on time, and he is always okay.”
“He won’t be.” I choked, glancing at them. “He won’t be okay.” My mouth was dry, but as much water as I drank, it still seemed like my throat was closing, obstructing my breathing. “You guys…need to be there for him, okay?” I nodded my head a little bit. “Don’t let him…” My eyes closed for a couple of seconds.
“Hey, hey.” Newt. It was Newt voice and his fingers touching my wet cheeks. When did I start crying? “Hey. Bloody hell, Y/N. C'mon.”
My eyes opened again. “Don’t let him blame himself.”
“He won’t blame himself because everything will be okay.” Minho insisted, his left hand cradling the back of my head as he helped me sit, resting at the head of the water bottle on my lips, aiding me so I could drink.
“I appreciate the positivity, Minho.” And the water. “But it’s bad. It’s really bad.” My fingers gripped Minho’s jacket, taking it off my chest. Both gasped, not having noticed that the black veins that were only on my hands and arms were now getting closer to my chest. “It’s so close.” To my heart. Both boys glanced at each other. Minho was the first one. He was the first one to broke down as his knees fell forcefully on the ground. His head between his hands. I tried not to cry more, but as soon as Newt also wailed like a little kid, I did too. “Hey, guys…” I cried. “C'mon, guys. It’s okay.” They didn’t listen, consumed by their shaking bodies as they cried, as they hoped for the cure to come in time. But even if it did, it was too late. I knew it was either Newt or me. Only one could get the cure, and I decided that it had to be Newt.
My heart ached because Thomas had convinced himself that it didn’t matter who took the cure first because he would come back with another for the other.
“My God, I’m so lonely.” I started singing with the limited strength that I had. Both boys glanced at me while still crying. They remembered the song. The song I used to sing every day since I entered the maze. The only thing I remembered apart from my name. They always thought it was a melancholy song, and whenever I sang it, they would change the lyrics, afraid of thinking that perhaps those were my true feeling. They were. They were before I found they were the only family I needed.
“So I open the window,” Newt’s voice cracked, following me. Even if he wanted to have hope, he knew how difficult things were and how I was near closing my eyes forever. “To hear sounds of people.” He sang while still crying. “To hear sounds of people,” Minho begged us to stop, to keep quiet. He begged us to lie to him and tell him that I was going to be okay. With time, they would be okay. I wouldn’t. “Venus, planet of love was destroyed by global warming. Did its people want too much too?” Yes, we wanted too much. They wanted too much. They wanted for the cure to come on time and to magically cure me. “Did its people want too much?” His saddened gaze met mine as I nodded.
Minho continued weeping, screaming even. “And I don’t want your pity.” My voice cracked as my gaze moved to him. The boy still was convinced that he could save everyone. “I just want somebody near me.” He shook his head, droplets of tears falling down his cheeks. “Guess I’m a coward.” I continued singing as Newt turned his head around, getting up from his seat on the ground and running towards someone. “I just want to feel alright.” I finally glanced at the blonde-haired boy who had run towards Thomas. He had come on time. Well, for Newt and Minho, ‘on time’ was for me to be saved. For me, it was on time to see me go.
Thomas and Newt had gotten close so quickly that I was pretty sure that the boy I deeply loved knew what was going on. “And I know no one will save me.” That line seemed perfect to say at that moment as Thomas shook his head, aggressively weeping his tears as he sat down on the ground. His trembling hands, searching for my veins as he injected the cure. Then, he waited. He waited for the black veins to fade. They didn’t. Both boys hoped too. Perhaps Minho wasn’t the only one who dreamed of a future where I would be alive. I coughed, feeling my throat contracting again. I could feel the muscles from my right side colliding with the ones on my left side. Glancing at my chest, the veins were even closer than before. “I just need someone to kiss.” Thomas hit the wall behind me, the wall that was supporting my weight. Tears fell down our eyes, wetting our cheeks and leaving a salty taste in our mouths. But not as sour as the moment where I would close my eyes. “Give me one good honest kiss, and I’ll be alright.”
.
Thomas shook his head, not making his mind up, not being able to comprehend that the person he loved was dying. With the remaining strength that I had, my fringers grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to me. “Nobody, nobody, nobody,” He quickly shut me up, his lips softly colliding with mine. It wasn’t like those heated kisses we had when one of us had been in danger or when one of us was mad and needed release. It wasn’t one of those 'good morning’ kisses or a 'good night’ one. It conveyed all the things we have gone through. It bore the fact that we had dreamt of a future together. We have talked about houses, kids, gardens and dogs. We have spoken about living close to Minho and Newt, which they claimed would be a disaster.
Thomas’s lips separated from the ones he had loved kissing every day. He parted ways because they weren’t softly moving against his anymore, and that was when he noticed that the eyes of the woman he loved were closed. There was a peaceful look on her face, no pain.
Minho and Newt had left him alone, moving away as they continued weeping, but knowing that he needed some time to examine her face. To make sure that he would remember everything. However, he had lost other people, and eventually, he would forget the tone of her voice.
Thomas got up, getting away from Y/N, turning his back to her as he continued wiping. He was surprised as his legs trembled but still supported all his weight. “I’ve been big and small.” He whispered to himself. “And big and small.” His voice continued cracking. “And big and small, again. And still, nobody wants me. Still, nobody wants me.” He knew that sound. He recognised the growls of someone turning, of someone not being themselves anymore. And when he turned around, his gaze met a pair of eyes that were lifeless. “And I know no one will save me.” He choked, stepping back as she stepped forward. He couldn’t kill her. Had he already killed her? Why didn’t he run faster? “I’m just asking for a kiss. Give me one good movie kiss, and I’ll be alright.”
“Nobody.” Y/N grunted before growling once again. Her body fell to the ground. Thomas had shot her. Thomas was assured he had killed her two times.
The only sight he could see was up, from the scorching earth between his fingers towards the dizzying blue sky that seemed to tumble into him at the speed of a million fighter jets.
The sense of vertigo was overwhelming—he fought to stay upright. Lungs gave in on itself as he struggled to breathe, the pins and needles rushing through his bloodstream giving anything but a solid chance to swallow one last desperate breath of air.
Thomas tried to lift himself up, but the pain circulating through his body was too much. He could only sink further into the earth beneath him, finding it near impossible to gather the strength to move any further.
Someone was yelling at him, blurred shapes in the corner of his eyesight trying to signal something. He just couldn’t tell what, nor could he search his brain for recognition of their features. Fleshy faces seemed to all merge together, forming some kind of indescribable terror.
“Get up! Thomas, get up and run—” Something sharp tugged at his arm now, cutting through the daze of his mind as he caught flashing images of the floor dragging beside him.
As the words echoed through his ears, he realized with a muddied sense of alarm that none of it held any meaning. The ache of confusion clouded his thoughts, his usually capable thinking becoming disorderly and scrambled. Although the sun was out, clear as day, his vision was blurred and ability to perceive depth was off.
As repeating voices overlapped each other, fighting for priority in his head, he shut his eyes—unable to take the overwhelming charge of information.
He felt like he’d fallen into a vat of acid, the entirety of the world seeming to disappear into a swimming stream of consciousness. Few intelligible thoughts passed through his mind. But something was clear to him, amidst the confusion and chaos of the world around him. It forced him into submission of his own agony, bringing him to a halt as he recoiled in pain.
He’d been stung.
He knew that from the searing torment he felt surging through his leg. It started at his thigh and shot up the right side of his body like molten lava coursing through his veins. He had the passing thought of wanting to die. It would be better than living through this for even just a second longer.
The pain was so intense, his muscles tensed but nothing, no words came out of his parched lips. And there was no way his sense of confusion was helping him any better. He could feel himself slipping, his sense of direction and gravity shifting from underneath his feet as he panted, chest feeling heavy. He wasn’t even sure which way was up anymore—was he still standing on the ground?
Whether he was standing or crawling, he knew that he was moving forward. He could sense it vaguely, somewhere beneath the difficulty focusing, the pounding in his head. And when his vision finally started to clear, that’s when he could see it.
Up ahead, though he couldn’t see how far, a house. Or some kind of shelter. It was dark in the distance, fading in and out of his sightline like a mirage. Was it real? His mind could’ve been playing tricks on him, he knew. Either way, he felt his stomach lurch as he pushed forward on the ground, digging nails into the dirt to get closer to the only shelter in sight.
The familiar whirring of blades sounded from behind, forcing an image of its bulbous figure to flash through his mind. A Griever. Desperate, he pushed up to his feet before stumbling, refocusing, then pushing himself up with his palms to run again.
As he sprinted across the dirt in a half-limp, he could sense the creature gaining on him. Closing the distance in on the shelter, he swore he felt the snap of a deadly blade at the nape of his neck. Thomas felt his heart leap into his chest, threatening to pierce through his ribcage. The edge of fear kept him just sane enough to stay conscious.
The pressure of the chase kept him pushing on, until before he knew it, he was crashing through the cracked door of the shelter. As soon as he felt wooden flooring through the soles of his shoes, he stumbled to a halt and latched shut the heavy door behind him, collapsing backwards onto the frame. The door shook and rattled, as something fought on the other side to get in. The more the wall jerked against his back, the louder the roaring in his head got. Incomprehensible thoughts flooded his frame of mind.
His heart pounded, pumping through the blood rushing in his ears. He couldn’t have been sure if he felt the sensation of Grievers pushing through the other side. His body remained tense as he listened for any remaining sounds of echoing clicks.
As soon as the only sounds left were his own breathing, without him intending to, his body crumpled to the floor on its own, not giving him another chance to react as his mind gave into blackness. All he could feel as the world closed on him was intermittent sweating and freezing chills as darkness took away his sight one last time.
