Y’all see this??

*Adds Loki/Tom to the list

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 4500+

Pairing: Original female character of color/Tom Hiddleston

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Angst, Horror

 I’ve also posted this onAO3

There’s pictures there, in case you want some bonus content.

Story Playlist, for optimal reading experience : Here

Phew..this plot bunny was running around for a HOT minute! I’m not sure what my obsession is with stories that deal with betrayal of some sort…but I think I’m just a slut for some angst. Also, I’ve been listening to a ton of silent hill soundtracks, which put me in the mood to write something depressing. And goodness is that game good. This story is largely inspired by it, with some of the dialogue, text, and locations from the original game interwoven with my story. I changed things up a lot to follow the flow of my narrative though.

—–

Tom dreamt of her again that night.

Pale, blue-tinted skin. Dark sunken eyes. Her stiff, swaying feet. He could even see the chipped red nail polish on her toes with clarity.

The cruel memory was always, without fail, in perfect detail.

Over the years though, he had slowly come to accept it. The pills never helped to stop the nightmares, and no amount of avoiding sleep was going to help his case anyway.

He liked to think of it as penance.

As always, he jumped up from the bed in cold sweat. And from the cross look on his girlfriend’s face, he must’ve woken her up on accident as well.

“I’m…I’m sorry Jen,” He turned a bit to rub at her naked shoulder, and hoped the action would coax her back to sleep, “ Just another one of those falling dreams..”

“Hmrrph..” She shrugged off his hand, and turned to face away from him. Thankfully, it didn’t take much for her eyes to close once again.

Tom sighed, and rubbed at his face tiredly. Whenever he had that dream…he could never fall back to sleep. It was as if all the emotions of that day were renewed, and it was hard to shake them off until morning.

His therapist suggested he acknowledge what he felt, during this time. The sorrow. The regret. The guilt. The gut-wrenching pain.

And if he were to be completely honest, it worked most days.

Often, he would find himself scribbling away at his personal journal at 3 am, nursing a cup of tea.

He wrote about how much he wished he could reverse time. The words he could have taken back, and the words he could have said instead. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, and that he regretted ever leaving her.

Helena. Her name was Helena, but he could never bring himself to write it out. Just referred to her vaguely with pronouns.

But tonight…he couldn’t even bring himself to write. The dream was especially vivid this time around, to a disturbing degree. He could even smell the stench.

What’s worse, that smell was just as he remembered it three years ago.

Tom resisted the urge to throw up at the thought of it, and stumbled out of bed to the bathroom. He turned on the sink, and splashed the coldest water he could onto his face.

That probably wasn’t the best thing to do, either. He could still see her, swaying in that dark room against his closed eyelids.

His eyes shot open immediately, and he found himself dry heaving into the sink.

“Fuck…” he cursed silently, as his eyes began to well with tears.

It was going to be another one of those nights, and the only thing he could do was suffer through the dark memories until morning.

Slowly, he made his way to the kitchen. There was little tea could do at this stage, but it was a welcomed distraction.

“You’re really leaving…aren’t you?”

Her voice was soft, softer than it usually was.

All the yelling and screaming must have destroyed every malice she could have mustered in her body.

Her dark brown eyes were downcast, red-rimmed with sorrow.

“Lena. No…Helena. I never wanted for any of this to happen.” Although Tom intended to sound a bit caring, the words left his mouth with harsh coldness.

“I love Jen too much. Too much to stay…I’m sorry. Please understand.”

His wife looked up at him then. Her chapped lips trembled immensely with bridled anger. And even though her long hair was rather unkempt, he could still see the glare she sent his way through her bangs.

“Five…f..five years Tom. You’re r-really going to…to throw it all away for that..for..for her?”

Tears spilled from her eyes as she stuttered in anguish, and she fisted the fabric of her dress painfully as she continued, “ I… I love you so much, Tommy. I never meant anything I said…I was sick and -“

“Stop with that!” Helena was startled, and she stared up at him with wide eyes. Throughout their argument, this was the first time he had yelled so loudly at her.

His eyes were narrowed, shoulders squared. He was the embodiment of hostility.

“Don’t say things that you don’t fucking mean.”

Tom didn’t wait for her to reply. He grabbed his jacket, and left the house with a slam to the door. He’d pick up his belongings later, after he cooled down.

Although Helena infuriated him, he could never forgive himself if he hurt her physically. A part of him still loved her, even if it was small.

They were married for five years after all. He couldn’t necessarily forget it all, no matter how much he wished it was possible.

Their marriage…it was a happy one, at first. He remembered the day when he met her, how stunned he was by her beauty and tenderness.

He loved how her brown eyes looked against the sunlight, and the lone dimple that revealed itself when she smiled. He loved her gentle voice, when she would tell him about her day. Everything. He loved everything about this woman. Down from the hair, right to the toes.

However… things took a sharp turn for the worst when she became ill.

The doctors were clueless about what it was. It attacked her body so quickly and suddenly, no one could do much to help her ailing health.

Slowly but surely, she began to lose her glow.

Her smiling face was replaced with an ugly snarl, her body became skin and bones, and her kind words transformed into insults that aimed to shred at his heart.

She pushed him away with every chance she could, when all he wanted was to be there for the woman he loved.

So, who could blame him for straying?

Jennifer was kind, new, and beautiful. Everything that Helena was, but now wasn’t.

It didn’t matter to him that she was good friends with his wife. Surely, Helena would rather it be Jen than some stranger.

But now, she wanted to take back all those words of hatred, and backtrack like a coward. She begged for him to stay, despite all the times she pushed him away.

Her insults drove away the guilt whenever he went to Jennifer for solace. But if she decided to just take it all back now… where did that leave him?

Tom stewed like that for hours, walking about the neighborhood before he decided to make his way back to the house. It was late morning when he left, but the skies were already starting to darken.

Time flies when you’re upset, it seemed.

He readied and steeled himself to face her again. He was going to pack the rest of his things, and then leave.

For good this time.

But he hated that his heart still ached at the thought of it, despite everything that she put him through.

Tom entered the house cautiously, and searched for any signs of his wife. When he left, she was still sitting on the living room couch. Hours had gone by, so he wasn’t sure why he still expected her to be there.

Worst case scenario, she was in their bedroom. With how erratic she’d been acting lately, it wouldn’t be a surprise if she tried to prevent him from leaving.

Best case scenario, she was asleep in there. Her illness made her extremely weak, which caused her to sleep more often than not.

Tom found himself in front of the door, hand frozen on the knob.

He was tired, tired from all the fighting. If possible, he wanted to ignore her as he quietly gathered his things together.

With these thoughts in mind, he opened the door -

To the sight of Helena’s feet hovering above the floor.

“Tom, Tom? Thomas!”

He jumped from the kitchen table, and knocked his knee on it in surprise.

He grimaced, and looked up at Jennifer who gave him a worried look.

“Why are you out here? You even fell asleep..”

Tom looked around his surroundings, disoriented. He fell asleep?

He remembered coming to the kitchen to make some tea for his nerves. But before he realized it…

“I’m not sure how that happened…I’m sorry Jen.”

“..It’s okay, Tom. Are you feeling okay..?” She placed her hand on his forehead, her voice tinged with concern, “ You can call out sick, you know? Talk to me,”

Tom stiffened. He contemplated many times, talking to Jennifer about his dreams. But…she had been badly affected by Helena’s death as well.

She was friends with her, after all. Jen felt just as much guilt and shame that he did.

But Jennifer refused to talk about it, about her. Her way of coping was to forget Helena ever existed for her own sanity.

They were both monsters, monsters who drove the one they cared about to her death. They truly deserved one another.

Tom only shook his head at her question, and attempted to reassure her with a weak smile, “I’m fine, honest. But I’ll call out today…I’ve been working too much at the office.”

Jennifer didn’t pursue the topic any further, and returned his smile. “ Thank gosh, you’ve been taking way too many hours. Just relax for once,”

He watched as she moved about the kitchen through tired eyes, to fix herself some coffee. “There’s some mail on the table, by the way. I picked them up before I came in here.”

Now that she mentioned it, there was a small pile of envelopes on the table. He looked at them all indifferently, and dismissed the majority of them as junk or bills.

“..I’ll sift through them. Make me a cup as well, would you?”

He dragged the pile in front of him, and wiped his eyes to take away some of the droopiness.

He cracked his neck, and massaged his shoulder with a hand as he began to look through the mail. Like he expected, there were some bills, some junk… and..

A beige, worn out envelope that was sealed with red wax.

But the look of the envelope wasn’t what caught his eyes. It was the name on it that caused Tom’s throat to go dry, and his sweat to grow cold.

From: Helena

There wasn’t a return address, just her name.

Was this some sort of sick joke?

Unless it was possible for a dead woman to send letters, then the likelihood that it was his Helena that sent it was extremely low.

Still though…his hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Why did he feel so terrified?

First the nightmares, now this.

“Hey..everything okay?” Jen placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of him, and sat at the table, “You’ve been staring at that for a good minute now…is the bill that much?”

She took a sip of her own coffee, her voice lightly teasing.

“What? Oh, no, it’s nothing,” Tom quickly snapped out of it, and tossed the envelope aside as casually as he could, “Just some junk.”

Tom wasn’t sure what possessed him to take the envelope with him on his run.

Despite everything that told him to leave it closed, to leave it unread, he also felt the urgent need to keep it by his side.

He ran through a secluded park, with the envelope stuffed in his jacket pocket. If he was going to read it, he didn’t want Jennifer to know. Especially if it was actually from… her.

There was a drizzle earlier on, so the park benches were rather wet. However, he didn’t care as he plopped down to sit, and reached into his jacket pocket for the envelope.

A stray droplet of water from the overhanging tree fell on the envelope, as he sat and stared at it in silence.

Tom felt that he was probably overreacting. No, he most definitely was. There was no way on earth it was from his Helena. The same Helena who he still loved, to this very day. The same woman who took her own life that fateful evening.

He was only going to set himself for extreme disappointment if he hoped for that much.

Tom held his breath, and tore open the envelope without any regard for the wax seal.

And as he read its contents, the entire world came to a standstill.

In my restless dreams,

I see that town.

Silent Hill.

You promised me you’d take me

there again someday.

But you never did.

Well, I’m alone there now…

In our ‘special place’…

Waiting for you…

Waiting for you to come to see me.

I know I’ve done some terrible things to you.

Something you’ll never forgive me for.

I wish I could change that, but I can’t.

I just…didn’t want you to see me like that anymore.

That ugly, repulsive me.

I was so angry all the time, and I

struck out at everyone I loved most.

Especially you, Tommy.

That’s why I understand if you hate me, even now.

But I want you to know this.

I’ll always love you.

And I want to see you, no matter how long it takes.

I’ll always be here…waiting.

With love,

Lena

He remembered her handwriting.  Her letters were always scribbled elegantly, but felt rushed at the same time. This was written by her. There was no doubt about it in his soul. He could even hear her gentle voice as he read it.

The emotions Tom currently felt was like a kaleidoscope. Confusion, hope. Sorrow, fear. And above all, excitement.

Excitement, at the small, unlikely chance that she was still alive.

Even if it didn’t make sense, even if it went against all reason. Even if he had been the one to pull her dead body from the ceiling himself.

If he had the chance to see her again…just once more…

He was going to take it.

—–

Tom vaguely remembered that town she spoke of, in the letter.

Silent hill.

They went there once, for their honeymoon. It was a foggy little town, ways out in the middle of nowhere. Although it was scarcely populated, it was beautiful.

Helena had a strange obsession with the town, and she begged him constantly to take her back. But he was the type to enjoy the hustle and bustle of people, and the town was far too quiet for his liking.

Quiet to the point of being unsettling.

So although she begged him practically every year, he would always dredge up some excuse as to why they couldn’t go.

But now here he was, on his way to that very town against all sense.

“This place…isn’t it a bit too creepy for a resort?” Jennifer’s voice broke the silence in the car, and reminded him that he was not alone. Her eyes were trained outside the window, with furrowed brows.

Tom ground his teeth in frustration. He couldn’t come up with a proper excuse, as to why he wanted to leave so suddenly without arousing suspicion.

So…he disguised the trip as a mini-vacation, for the both of them. It would have been extremely preferable if he came alone… but he’d figure something out, eventually.

“It’s supposed to be a quiet, peaceful getaway. We’ve been needing some of that for a while now,” Tom said, in a nonchalant tone. “Besides, it’s only for a day or two.”

“Eh…I guess,” Jennifer still sounded thoroughly unconvinced, as they passed by the dilapidated welcome sign of the town. “I just thought it’d be, I don’t know…well kept?”

“It’s a part of the charm.” Tom wasn’t sure if he wanted to convince her, or himself with that statement.

Jen had a point. It’s been years since he came to this place, but he remembered that there was a decent amount of people that lived here.

Although the area was indeed very quiet…it definitely wasn’t a ghost town like he was seeing.

They were well inside the town now, but they still had yet to see anyone. The oppressive fog didn’t help matters either. He glanced down at the map on his lap, just to make sure they were going in the right direction.

“Hey…do you think we should just turn around? It looks pretty abandoned,”

Jennifer worried at her lip, her expression uncertain.

“…Like I said. A part of the charm. We’ll see some people, eventually.”

He could feel her anxiety from the passenger seat, and it started to affect his own mood.

The only thing that kept him from turning the car around, was Helena. The prospect of possibly seeing her again was too great a temptation.

But the question is…where was she, exactly?

Helena mentioned something about a ‘special’ place in the letter. That she’d be waiting for him there. But there were just so many possibilities… because this whole town was their special place.

Did she mean the park, by the lake? They would spend hours sitting on the bench…just the two of them, staring at the water. In their own little world.

Could Helenatruly be alive…waiting for him there? The man who betrayed her so cruelly?

“Tom…Tom!!”

At Jen’s sudden screech, Tom hit the brakes immediately, which caused the car to lurch forward violently.

He looked at her, as his heart thrummed against his chest, “What, what is it!”

“There.. right there, there was… there was..!”

She looked absolutely terrified, as she stared outside of the passenger window.

“Jen, calm down! What did you see?”

She didn’t look at him at all, and continued to stare outside the window, “In the fog. I saw a lady..and she.. she looked like… she was just right there..!”

Tom couldn’t make sense of what she wanted to say at all. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and addressed her once again, “I know you’re paranoid, Jen. But please, just calm down. It was probably just a resident.”

He really wished he came here alone all the more.

Jennifer was really shaken up, for whatever reason. And she went silent for the rest of the ride. Though, he certainly wasn’t about to complain about that.

Eventually, they saw a large building in the distance, right alongside the lake they’d been driving by.

Lake View Hotel. The same hotel where he stayed with Helena, on their honeymoon.

“…We’re here.”

Tom parked right by the curb of the sidewalk, a reasonable distance from the building.

But…something wasn’t quite right.

When he first came here with Helena, he clearly remembered that the hotel was on the other side of the lake, and they had to cross it with a rowboat. It was surrounded by a body of water, after all. And it was only accessible by a boardwalk.

However, the building was on this side instead. Completely opposite from what he remembered.

He decided not to think too deeply about it, though. Years had passed, and things might’ve changed.

“Wait, we’re getting out here?!” Jennifer asked in disbelief, her voice raised. The area was run-down, foggy, and quite frankly, disgusting. Tom couldn’t even blame her for her discomfort.

“Yes, Jen. There’s nowhere else to park,” he said, and exited the car first. “Come on, before it starts to get dark.”

Jennifer left the car with extreme hesitancy, and crossed her arms to hug herself. “Tom…this…this is like a freaking ghost town! Are you sure we can’t just…go somewhere else?” She tried to reason with him…but it was like he was another person entirely when he replied.

“If that’s what you want to do, I won’t stop you. Take the car.” He answered curtly, and began to walk ahead of her.

“I…what? Wait, please, Tom!” She ran up to him, and grabbed his arm, “What do you mean take the car?! You know I can’t drive. And I can’t just leave you behind! This…this isn’t like you,” Jennifer attempted to turn him towards her, but he remained stiff.

“…Did you ever really know me, Jen?”

When he finally looked at her, Jennifer took a step back due to his scary expression. “Because I don’t think you do. Not like Lena did anyway.”

“Len…Helena? Why..what does she have to do with this?!”

Jen immediately went on the defensive, and matched his hostile energy.

“She has everything to do with this! You were her friend, and she was my wife. Yet you refuse to even talk about her-”

“She killed herself! She left us behind! Even before that, she treated you like shit! She broke your heart…and I was the one who picked up the fucking pieces!”

The argument had escalated extremely quickly. But Tom didn’t care.

“How..how fucking dar-”

Tom didn’t even get to finish his sentence. He had blinked his eyes for even less than a second.

And then she was gone.

Tom was stunned, and didn’t register what happened.

His mouth was left open as the sentence died on his lips.

“Huh..?”

He looked around disoriented, whiplashed, and confused.

What? How? Where..What?

These were the questions that ran rampant inside his mind, as he looked about frantically for the woman he was just fighting with.

Jennifer was just right there, in front of him. He even remembered her angered expression clearly. But he had barely blinked his eyes before she disappeared into thin air.

She didn’t even scream.

Tom’s bones were weak from fear and confusion. He felt nauseous.

“..Jen? Jennifer? Jennifer!” He began to walk ahead, almost running, and screamed into the fog.

He walked around the area, and yelled her name like that for what felt like hours. But what answered him back were the endless echoes beyond the mist.

“Where…where the hell..?” Tom was out of breath, his body wrought with fear and exhaustion. He brought his hands to his knees and hunched over.

He came here to find Helena. He just wanted to see his wife again, to talk to her one last time. Even if it were some sort of delusion he concocted to stay sane.

But now..even Jennifer was…

He tried not to think about that possibility. Jennifer had to be alright. She had somewhere in this godforsaken town.  

Tom looked up from his knees, and up at the large building ahead. Lakeview hotel.

He was going to start there.

Inside the hotel was a stark contrast to the rest of the town. While the outside was in a state of disrepair…the inside of the hotel remained untouched by time. In fact…it was just as he remembered.

The only difference was…the lights were almost dim to the point of darkness, and he needed to use his phone light for added visibility.

“Jennifer..? Are you in here?” Tom called out, as he walked the halls of the hotel. He passed the receptionist’s desk, and moved towards the elevator in the distance.

Despite the apparent lack of proper electricity, it still seemed to function perfectly.

According to the elevator, there were six floors in total.

And without hesitation, he immediately chose the third floor.

Jennifer could have been on the first two floors, for all he knew. He could have searched every room, every corner.

However..he and Helena stayed in room 312 for their honeymoon.

It was a beautiful room, he remembered. There were large windows, and the view of the lake was extraordinary.

As Tom felt the elevator move, and watched as the numbers slowly rose to three…he recalled a memory.

“Goodness…isn’t it beautiful, Tommy?”

Tom watched as his beloved sat by the window, her hand pressed against the glass.

“I’m so glad we came here…it’s peaceful.”

He laughed, and moved closer to sit next to his wife. He draped his arms around her shoulders, and pulled her closely to his chest.

“I think it’s a bit too peaceful, though. I’m not sure how you convinced me to come, but,”

Tom breathed in the scent of her hair, and closed his eyes. “I agree, it is beautiful. Hazy and mysterious, just like a dream. It reminds me of you.”

Her embarrassed laugh echoed throughout the room, and she nuzzled her head further into his neck. “Hehe…you’re such a charmer.”

She tightened her arms around his body. Her next words were whispered faintly, but he heard her clearly through the quiet of the room.

“But if this is a dream…I don’t ever want to wake up.”

Tom stood inside the room. By the large window, was a figure.

Her hair was a short, dusty blonde, and she wore a white floral dress.

The same dress that Helena wore that day on their honeymoon.

However…his wife was far from blonde.

The only blonde he knew was Jennifer.

“Jen..Jennifer? Is that you..?” She turned to look at him, instead of the window.

As soon as he saw her face, his suspicions were confirmed.

“Oh.. oh thank goodness,” Tom breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that his hunch was correct. He didn’t know why she suddenly appeared in this room, but was pleased that he found her this quickly.

“Jen, you were right. We..we shouldn’t stay here…”

Jennifer only looked at him with a confused expression, and approached him with an air of worry.

“Tommy, did something happen to you? Are you…confusing me with someone else?”

Tom looked at her like she was crazy. “What? Jen, what are you on about..? And why are you wearing that..”

Jennifer had never, not once, referred to him as ‘Tommy’ in the three years they had been together. That was Helena’s endearment, and no one else’s.

She giggled, the sound of it melodic and gentle. “Oh, Tommy…you were always so forgetful. Remember that time, when you got lost trying to find our room at this hotel? I almost had to call a search party!”

She laughed once again, this time unrestrained. He recognized that beautiful laughter.

“Aren’t…” Tom’s throat felt impossibly dry. “Aren’t you Jennifer?”

Jennifer went silent. Her smile deepened, and her eyes darkened from their previous shade of blue.

“It doesn’t matter who I am. I’m here for you, Tom.”

He didn’t move an inch as she approached him.

Slowly, she removed the straps of her dress.

He allowed her to take his hand, and she placed it on top of her naked chest.

Tom didn’t realize it, but his face was drenched with tears. He squeezed the softness of her flesh, and his nails dug to the point it drew blood.

It was warm. He held his blood-stained fingers up to his face.

Before him, stood a woman with dark brown eyes, that would reflect beautifully against the sun.

Before him, stood a woman with the gentlest voice.

Before him, stood a woman with long dark hair, that ended right below her shoulders.

Helena smiled a sickly sweet smile. She took his hand once again, and moved it to cup her face.

“…See? I’m real.”

An AU Loki fic

Summary:  Lita sourly regretted going to his office. She should’ve stayed home, to work on her manuscript. Then she would head out to the daycare, and watch her cute little son play for a bit. Live in her ignorant bubble. But no, she just had to make him lunch, didn’t she?

Chapters: 2/3

Pairing: Loki/Original Character

Words: 2292

Warning: Angst, Implied/Referenced cheating

A/N :  A sad fic to match the gloomy, rainy weather rn. I love reading heartbreaking shit on occasion, so enjoy this two-shot of depression. Sorry not sorry. Inspired by @voila-tout‘s fic, “Little Do you Know”

———

The first thing that Loki found alarming was the darkness of the house. Lita should most definitely be home about now. In fact, he knew she was home since her car was parked in the driveway. This puzzled him. The house would usually be filled with a delicious aroma, a warm glow of comfort enveloping the atmosphere. Her singing as she worked to prepare dinner. But silence reigned.

He held his son as he made his way further into the house, flicking the nearest switch to turn on the lights.

“Mmm… where Momma?” Uri fidgeted restlessly in his arms, wanting to be put down.

“Settle down Uri, your mother’s probably sleeping,”

That was the conclusion he drew up in his head, urging his son to return back to sleep with a gentle whisper. He didn’t have to do much urging however, the car ride making him sufficiently drowsy. He carried Uri to his room, placing him carefully into his cradle for a nap.

After that was done, Loki went to look for Lita, heading straight to their bedroom first. He hoped she was actually there, asleep.

Loki opened the door, and he found her immediately.

Her small silhouette sat by the large window under the cover of darkness, the cold air drifting in to ruffle the curtains above her. Since the window was open, her dress was thoroughly drenched because of the rain.

“Lita? Darling….”

He made his way over to her in large strides after turning on the light in the room, stooping beside her. Worry and confusion overtook his face when she did not deign to acknowledge his presence, her face turned stubbornly to look outside as the rain pelted against her face.

“How long have you been sitting here in the dark? Lita? You even neglected to pick up Uri. I did it for you, so you don’t have to worry. But, what happened? Why is the window open?”

“……..”

No response.

Loki swallowed, the lump in his throat becoming extremely painful. It was decided. She knew…she most definitely knew. Why else would she be ignoring him so fervently?  But he had to ask, just to be sure.

He sighed, bracing himself for the inevitable outburst.

“Lita, did…did you come by the office today?”

But again, he was met with silence.

He shakily took a hold of her hand, holding it against his lips to kiss it, “Love…please. I know… I know what you probably saw was - was terrible. It was just…meaningless sex, I assure you. I only love you.”

Even with his outright confession, her body moved not an inch. She didn’t even revolt from his touch, or look at him with the disgust that he knew he deserved.

He began to grow frustrated, his expression twisting. He let go of her hand, moving to grab her shoulders full-on to turn her towards him, “ I know you can’t even look at me, but say something! Curse at me, tell me how much of a bastard I am. Hit me, anything! Don’t…don’t run away from me like this…talk to me,”

All he got in response was the patter of the rain against the windowsill.

Although her body now faced him from when he grabbed her shoulders, her head remained turned away.

He got up from his knee, moving to pace the room in frantic steps. He sat down on the bed with a loud thump, hands moving to cover his face.

Why in the world wasn’t she speaking?

She never ignored him before. Even in their most heated arguments, she always sought to speak with him about whatever it was that troubled her. Was his betrayal thatshocking?

Tears threatened to overtake his eyes. Deep down…he knew it was.

Loki looked up from his fingers to stare at her, brows furrowed. Her body was like a statue, he could barely even make out a single twitch. Lita was positioned uncomfortably, her neck craned to look away from him, her hand hanging in the air from when he kissed it.

It hit him that something must be seriously wrong at that moment. This was not a mere act of malice.

He went to her once more, attempting to move her head to look at him. He was met with some resistance, but eventually, his eyes met her own. But although she now faced him, it was like she was staring into the void, her face expressionless.

Loki moved her arms up and down, and they would stay in the exact position he posed them in, like a doll. That was all the confirmation he needed to take her to the hospital. Her behavior was too abnormal.

But first, he had to get her warm. She was cold to the touch, which meant she was most likely sitting there, soaked for hours.

He released a shaky, tortured breath. The reason she was like this…it was all his fault.

In the first attempt to try and move her, he looped his arm underneath her legs in order to transition to a princess carry.

Well, it was an attempt. Because moving her was actually much harder than he anticipated. Lita was a small woman, and especially light on her feet. He had absolutely no issues carrying her previously. But it was like all her muscles seized up in a painful way, adding drastically to her weight.

Still, he never gave up. Now that he knew about the stiffness, he tried once more to -

“D…”

He paused, head shooting up to look at her face. It was quiet, so quiet he almost missed it. Was she trying to say something?

Her face was still mostly expressionless, with the exception of her trembling lips. It looked as though it took exceptional effort just to say a letter, so he waited patiently with bated breath, moving closer so he could hear her whispers.

“D….on’t. F….uh…c, in…..”

There was a momentary silence before she started once again, “Tuh…ch…m..me…”

Don’t fucking touch me.

Lita spoke slowly, with plenty of pauses. But her words translated loud and clear, slapping him across the face.

He didn’t know what he expected her to say. His throat constricted painfully, her words hurting much more than he anticipated. But he understood that whatever hurt he felt in that moment didn’t even come close to what she was experiencing.

He swallowed thickly, blinking away the tears that were starting to form against his will, “I..I know. I’m sorry…please allow me to move you away from here, at least. The last thing I want is for you to get sick,”

Loki wanted to honor her wishes. He knew he’d lost any right to touch her, but he couldn’t and wouldn’t leave her there to get soaked by the rain any longer.

He resumed what he was doing, looping an arm underneath her legs, and held her against his chest.

Although Lita’s face was serene, he somehow sensed that she wanted to fight against his touch with everything she had.

Loki did not want to make her more unhappy than she already was, so he hurriedly went to place her on the bed. He covered her with the blankets, tucking her stiff feet underneath the covers, “…I will make some soup, to help warm you up. Uri’s sleeping, but he should be hungry right about now as well.”

He looked at her for a long time after he said those words, his expression sorrowful. If only he hadn’t fallen into temptation…then Lita wouldn’t be like this. He’d get to see the smile he loved so much, and hear her laugh…

Loki turned away sharply, marching from the room. He had to focus.

Although Lita loved to do the cooking, sometimes he would offer to make dinner on days she felt particularly stressed. She loved his chicken soup, so he set off in preparing it.

He worked diligently, so it was finished in about an hour. He went to check on Uri and saw that he was still asleep, then brought the soup over to Lita.

Loki’s heart drummed nervously, sitting on the bed next to her as he held the bowl of soup in his hands.

“I made your favorite soup. No carrots, just the way you would like it.”

She only stared straight ahead. It clicked for him that she couldn’t eat even if she wanted, and he doubted she’d be reticent to spoon-feeding.

He dejectedly placed the bowl on the side table next to the bed, then pulled out his phone “I’m going to call Thor, to help you into the car and watch Uri. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

The one-sided conversation was slowly starting to make him feel sick, so he left the room as he dialed Thor’s number.

“Loki!”

Thor burst through the door loudly, looking absolutely enraged, “Where’s Lita?!”

Thor cared for Lita as if she was his own sister, so to hear the nonsense that Loki spoke over the phone…the anger he felt for her was palpable.

Loki was waiting for him, his expression cold. “Hello, brother.” He was immediately lifted by the collar, Thor bringing his face dangerously close to his, “I have every mind to hit you where you stand, Loki. Just…how could you?”

Loki closed his eyes, his true sorrow masked with indifference. “Then do as you will, Thor. Though I doubt it would change a thing.”

Thor’s eyes nearly glowed red, but he lowered his fist, shrugging Loki away from him, “…Where is she? I’ll take her to the hospital. Watch over Uri instead.”

“No. I am her next of kin, her husband,” he adjusted his collar, looking off to the side as he spoke, “It would be more useful to the doctors if I was there, to answer questions.”

“You have no right to call yourself her husband.” Thor turned sharply, “Take me to her. I’ll help her into the car.”

Thor allowed the tears to flow from his eyes as he saw Lita’s state, moving onto the bed to pull her into an embrace. Her hands laid limp at her sides as he hugged her, “I’m so sorry, Lita. You do not deserve this.”

As Loki requested, Thor carried Lita to the car, placing her in the back seat. He put a blanket on her lap to help keep her warm, then buckled her in. “She’s ready now.”

“…Thank you, Thor.”

Thor only shook his head, his voice laced with disappointment, “Just make sure she’s okay, Loki. I’ll watch the little bean sprout.”

With that, he left Loki to take her to the hospital.

————————-

Catatonic Depression.

That was what the doctor said, yet he had problems comprehending it.

The doctor had asked him a plethora of questions about her general health, since Lita clearly was unable to answer. The questions then took a strange turn when the woman asked him if she suffered from depression in the past, and started to move Lita’s limbs about experimentally.

“Her…sister recently passed, and she would have periods where she would just…stare blankly into space. But, things have never progressed like this before.”  Loki knew that wasn’t the only reason. But he didn’t want to surface his shame.

“And she was only like this when you came home, correct?” Loki simply nodded his head.

“She has most of the symptoms of catatonia, so we’ll have imaging studies done to ensure there isn’t a tumor, or another underlying condition.”

The doctor turned towards him then, “But based on what you said, it’s most probable that she’s suffering from catatonic depression. She’s had history, so this is a likely diagnosis.”

She placed Lita’s arms down back to the bed, writing down notes on her pad, “I will discuss treatment options after the results are in, so I suggest checking her in for a few days.”

Loki’s face paled. Whatever Lita had, it sounded serious, “Cat…Catatonic depression? Forgive me, but I’m clueless as to what that is,”

“It’s a subtype of depression, which means a person may appear speechless or motionless for periods at a time. Hmm…it’s still unclear what causes it, but factors include a history of depression, the passing of a loved one, or any event equally shocking in nature. This isn’t to be taken lightly, as it can hinder her daily life in the future.”

Loki’s entire body felt weak as he sat by her bed, his pallor now a sickly shade. The doctor noticed his distress, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, “I say this, but it’s very treatable with the correct approach. Lita has a high chance to recover.”

He was no longer listening, his body listless. How couldn’t he have noticed that things were this bad? He ignored all the signs of his wife’s growing sadness, to instead seek pleasures of the flesh. Loki recalled Thor’s words. He had no right to call himself her husband.

In the next few days, he watched over Lita from afar, not wanting to upset her too much with his presence. He wanted her to recover as quickly as possible, so he made his presence scarce. Most of his family visited, however, with Thor bringing Uri in to see his mother.

Slowly but surely, she started to recover. She was placed on medication that proved effective, and she was starting to speak and move again.

He watched from the door window as she slowly ruffled their son’s hair, hugging him to her chest as she spoke to Thor. For the first time in a while, she was smiling.

That smile may never reach his direction ever again…but it made his dark morning a tad brighter.

A/N: I may or may not do a part 3. I have trouble deciding. 

So I made a fun lil tik tok :)

So like, I haven’t drawn men in a hot minute so I’m hella rusty, but I couldn’t resist drawing this man, oof professor Loki, how I imagine him in my fic ‘after hours’

Previous Chapter

Summary:Evelyn Monroe has been a TA for professor Laufeyson’s Calculus course for four months now. He was known to be quite strict, but that never deterred her from applying for the position in order to be close to the man she had been secretly pining for. One evening, she returns to his office after opening hours… and with her bountiful luck, she walks in on something not meant to be seen.

Chapters: 10?

Words: 2800+

Warnings:None

Tags:  @milkymaidme@dangertoozmanykids101@alexakeyloveloki@little-moonbeam-666 @marvel-ous-fics@clovermariear@lynnesm@bitchyikes@moon-child-of-a-poet,@allthecraftandthings@bubblegumspitt@shockwavee@blondekel77@nerd–nirvana@valdemarismynonbinarylove@nightrose64@pastelhexmaniac@iistormii

If you’d like to be added, let me know. I’ve also posted this onAO3

____________

It took a moment for Evelyn to realize what was happening.

He had a detrimental effect on her, this man - the warmth of his tongue that explored her mouth, the harsh grip on her jaw, and the growing heat in her body left her dim-witted to her surroundings.

She had no choice but to reciprocate the kiss, until he willingly broke apart from her. As soon as he did, her hand automatically flew to cover his mouth in bewilderment and panic, adrenaline pumping her veins.

“What… what are you doing?! We’re in the blasted hallway!”
She panted breathlessly, her wide hazel irises meeting the dark, lust blown ones of her lover. What was with him, popping in out of nowhere, and then kissing her randomly without so much as a hello?

Loki merely quirked a brow in reply, as her hand still obstructed him from speaking coherently.

Evelyn yelped when she felt his tongue lick the inside of her palm, the action catching her completely off-guard. She withdrew her hand from his mouth in a hurry, a dark blush making its way from her neck, and unto her cheeks.

He gave her a wicked, dark smile,“ I haven’t seen you in a while, so I thought a proper greeting was sufficient.”

Evelyn was flabbergasted. “A..greeting? That’s what that was?!”
He had the gall to look at her as ifshe was the strange one, “Is a kiss no longer considered a greeting…?”

“No..I mean - yeah it is, but the way you just -” she paused, the amusement on his face apparent. It took a second for her to realize that he was just messing with her.

Evelyn sighed, her tone filled with indignance as she spoke once more, “What are you doing all the way here? I’m just so confused…”

Loki didn’t answer her immediately. Instead, he tilted his head to peer from their secluded corner, and into the hallway.

Seeing that it was still empty, he took hold of her hand and strolled into the hallway without warning.

He headed rapidly into the direction of the studios, and she struggled to keep up with his brisk pace.

When they finally reached the entrance, it was then that he decided to answer her question in a quiet voice, “I’ve only ever seen you within my classroom, or the confines of my office,” he looked at her, raising a hand to brush an errant curl away from her eye, “So naturally, I wanted to see you in your element. And what kept you away from my office for such a prolonged period of time.”

Evelyn felt herself heating up inexplicably. He came all the way from the science department, a good 10 minute walk, to visit her despite his hectic schedule. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to that sort of attention.

“Sorry for not letting you know what’s up with me, this whole thing is a lot to take in…”

Loki only shook his head, dismissing her apology, “ No need to worry yourself about it, darling. I simply missed your presence.“

He stepped further inside the studios, his eyes wandering in search of her work area, "In any case, I’m genuinely curious about your craft. Care to show me?”

Evelyn froze. She thought he just wanted to see her, and not her actual work.

She wasn’t usually shy when others saw her drawings or paintings, but Loki was a different story…

She worried he might be overly critical, or not care for her drawings at all. Evelyn valued opinions greatly, so showing him her work that was so personal left a vulnerable, uncomfortable feeling within herself.

Perhaps because of his ‘professor aura,’ he still intimidated her to a large degree.

“Uh…I wasn’t really expecting anyone, so it’s…really messy. Like, very messy. I don’t really paint much interesting things either, so…“

Evelyn tried to muster up some lame excuse, but she knew she had better stop when she was met with a firm, silent look.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, then traipsed nervously in the direction of her little studio as his tall figure loomed behind her.

Thankfully, it was a Thursday, which meant mostly everyone had no classes in her department - so the studios were empty with the exception of the few absorbed in catching up with work. In addition, each student studio consisted of cubicles with tall walls built to hang artwork, so they were mostly obstructed from view.

When they finally reached her studio, Evelyn stepped inside with slow steps, her nervousness extremely palpable by this point.

If Loki sensed it, he chose to ignore it as his attentions were immediately transfixed to the unstretched canvas strung up on the wall.

It was an exceptional rendering of a fantastical, imaginative landscape, with an endless sky and billowing clouds. Vibrant hues of pink, blue, purple and orange swirled across the sky, with the trees and shrubbery reflecting similar shades in their leaves.

Loki could still see it was unfinished, as most of the brown underpainting still shone through, but it captured him nonetheless.

He gathered from her other paintings and drawings that she liked landscapes and nature in general, since that subject matter was the most prevalent in her work. He could also see that most of them had a whimsical, fairy tale like twist to them.

Loki smiled to himself as he perused. He loved learning more things about his little Evelyn, it made her that much more precious.

While Loki silently observed and analyzed, Evelyn was brewing with negative energy behind him. His prolonged silence was slowly killing her inside - the anticipation of his distaste for her paintings now the only thing that occupied her brain.

She got tired of waiting eventually, and blurted out her thoughts, “ I… know I have a lot to improve on…the colors are too weird, right? It looks pretty bad right now, but I’m gonna -“

“Forgive me my dear, but sometimes you ramble on a bit too much,” he cut her off quickly, putting down a loose sketch he picked up from her work table with utmost care, “ You lack much needed confidence. Especially when you’re this talented.”

Loki turned to give her a look, a look that betrayed his most darkest thoughts.

“It would seem that we have to work on that together, don’t you agree?”

Evelyn had to hand it to him. His ability to change the energy in the room from normal to horny was unprecedented.

She coughed lightly, hoping to bring it back to normal, “ I’m, I’m sorry - I guess that means you like it, then…?”

“If I didn’t, I would have been blunt about it.” He stated simply. Her lack of confidence was slowly starting to annoy him, and he couldn’t wait to rectify it in private.

Speaking of that…Loki itched to get her well and truly alone. He told her that he would give her time, to let her decide when to take things further…but surely it wouldn’t hurt to subtly push things in that direction.

“ You may not know this, but I’m actually quite taken with the arts myself,” he began casually, “You could say I’m a collector, of sorts. And I happen to be rather fond of your type of work.”

That garnered her attention immediately, “ Wait, really? What other artists do you like, whose art do you have?” Evelyn blurted excitedly, a wide smile on her face. She didn’t know he was an art nerd like herself, and was happy to know they had one more thing in common.

“Among the favorites I’ve collected, it would have to be Georgia O’Keeffe and Thomas Cole,” Evelyn’s mouth widened in disbelief as he continued on, “ I do have some Bob Ross pieces as well, but I wouldn’t say he was a favorite…a bit too kitsch for my taste.”

Evelyn couldn’t comprehend the gravity of what he just said. “You’re…you’re actually being serious? You have an originalThomas cole painting? He’s one of my biggest inspirations! And…and Bob Ross?! Georgia O’Keeffe? Are you sure you aren’t messing with me…?”

“I’m being entirely serious, darling.” Loki did have a rather extensive art collection, but he didn’t know this useless hobby of his would actually work in his favor.

“But…but they’re so expensive! Even reproductions cost a shit ton… and originals are like thousands of dollars!” Evelyn still expressed some doubt. It was too much of a coincidence for it to be actually true. Not to mention, that was an absurd amount of money to be splurging about.

But his car’s fancy as fuck… maybe he’s just rich?

While Evelyn’s face was scrunched up in thought, Loki’s smile took a diabolical turn when he started to speak once more, “ If you’re that doubtful, I’m not opposed to showing you my collection.” His next sentence came off as strangely dark, “And as for their price… when I want something, no amount of anything will stop me from getting it.”

Evelyn’s head immediately shot up, “Wait, you’d really show me…?” Her focus was zoned in on the first sentence, completely ignoring the lustful inclinations of the second, “ I wouldn’t want to trouble you…it’s okay if it’s too much of a hassle,”
Although she said that, her eyes were extremely hopeful.

“Nonsense, it’s no trouble at all. Even if it somehow was, I care about your happiness much more.”

Evelyn blushed at his words, “…If that’s the case, then I’d really appreciate it! Ooh… I’m so excited! Is it okay if I take pictures?”

She was bouncing with radiant energy, her happiness infectious. If Loki had known seeing art would please her this much, he would’ve suggested it much sooner. He found her reactions to be unbearably cute, especially when her eyes grew wide in disbelief, or excitement.

“Of course, take however many you want. In fact…would you like to see it this Sunday, if your schedule allows? We will have dinner beforehand as well…”

“Yeah yeah yeah! This Sunday’s perfect actually! Thank you!”

Without thinking much of it, Evelyn went straight to give him a tight hug in her excitement.

Loki did not expect that from her at all.

He was nearly knocked off balance as Evelyn’s warm body pressed against his.
Loki could feel her ample breasts against his chest, the sensation of which aroused him greatly.

He’d never thought his body would react this way from such an innocent gesture on her part - but alas, he desired her to a frightening degree.

Loki cleared his throat and shifted in order to help alleviate the sudden discomfort in that area, but Evelyn took that as a sign that he wanted her to back away.

“Oh - I’m so sorry, I forgot where we were for a sec…” She thought he didn’t agree with the sudden display of affection - despite the fact that he kissed her himself moments before.

However, much to her surprise, Loki pulled her right back into his embrace, “ As long as we’re plainly out of sight, it wouldn’t hurt to sneak in a kiss or hug. I made sure of that earlier as well,”

His tone was very playful and reassuring, and she couldn’t help but relax into the hug. She felt extremely paranoid earlier on due to the group chat, but that melted to the back of her mind. As long as they refrained from frisky activities in public, no more problems should arise.

Much to her chagrin, he decided to pull back after a while, placing a kiss on her temple, “ Now that my curiosity’s been sated, I fear that I have to return.”

Evelyn’s disappointment showed clearly on her face, but she understood that he had work to return to.

And with a few more parting words, he left her to return in time for his lecture.

Loki was immensely happy he took the risk to visit the art department today - if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been able to make such progress in so little time.

Unbeknownst to Evelyn, Loki fully intended to make her truly his this coming Sunday.

His mind went completely rampant with sordid thoughts of what was to come - Her naked, ebony skin dripping with sweat, and the way she would writhe and moan beneath him. He’d be sure to cover her body with bruises as she’s restrained by various -

Loki had to stop from going down that train of thought, reminding himself that she may not be reticent to his…darker desires. He’d have to be patient and slow since it would be her first time, but he looked forward to it nonetheless. Sunday couldn’t come any sooner.

It was Sunday when it truly began to sink in for Evelyn that she agreed to go on an actual date with her professor-turned-lover.

She honestly only thought about just seeing the collection at first, but then she remembered the second part of his sentence about them having dinner beforehand…

Evelyn didn’t mind spending more time with him at all, it was just that she was extremely unprepared for it.

She barely went out of the house even on holiday break, with either her friends or Candice dragging her out from time to time since she was practically a hermit. In addition, it would actually be the first time she ever went on a date, so she was nervous about that as well.

Evelyn decided to go to Candice for advice once more. She was nervous about her reaction to her newfound relationship with Loki, given that they talked about his sexual escapades prior - but as an adult, she was sure Candice would…get over it.

“You waited THIS… goddamn LONG… to tell me you’ve been shackin’ up with professor fine ass?!”

Candice smacked her arm,” Are you outta yo stupid ass mind?”

Evelyn rubbed her arm, eyes narrowing in agitation, “ I didn’t tell you because this is exactly how you’d react. Hittin me n’ shit! Ow…”

Candice tried to calm herself down, “ Look, I got a lot of shit to say about whatever y’all got going on, but it’s honestly not the time, and you’ll do whatever you want anyway,” she sighed, pacing up and down the living room floor, “ Do you even have shit to wear? Were your nails done? Is your hair done? Did you even wax ya coochie?”

Evelyn’s eyes widened, “ I…I gotta do all that? Even the waxing part?”

Candice closed her eyes, “Lord have mercy on me today - YES you fool! You’d really have that man navigate the Amazon jungle? Because I know for a fact you got a whole forest down there.”

Evelyn subconsciously covered her privates, “What! We’re not even doing anything like that…he’s just gonna take me to dinner and show me the art collection…” Evelyn’s voice grew quiet, because she wasn’t even sure herself.

“Well, better be safe than sorry. I’ll even wax it for you and help you get ready. When is he picking you up?”

Evelyn picked up her phone that was beside her on the couch. He texted her earlier that morning about the time, and the form of attire that was expected,
“ Uhm, around 7 pm…”

Candice glanced at the time on the tv, “ So we got about 6 hours or so. Come come, get up. We’ll get the wax over with first.”

It was 6 hours later, and Evelyn felt thoroughly violated.

She honestly should’ve skipped the waxing, hairy pussy or not - it hurt like a bitch, and she solemnly vowed never to put herself through that again. Not only that, but she spent nearly 3 hours in Candice’s room to look for an appropriate outfit, one that was apparently nonexistent within her own wardrobe.

In the text, Loki said to just dress casually, so she was going to throw on any dress in her closet. Which worked to set Candice off on another tirade.

So now Evelyn sat on the couch, waiting for his arrival. She did have to hand it to Candice though - she actually liked the outfit she picked out.

It was a black floral bell-sleeved dress, with slits at the sides that exposed the skin of her waist. It had a modest V neckline, and she was grateful that Candice didn’t choose a more daring outfit.

She also wore a jean jacket to ward off the spring chill, so she was extremely satisfied. The only discomfort was the dull throb from her nether regions…

Before long, a loud ping came from Evelyn’s phone, causing both her and Candice to jump at the sudden sound, “Is it him? What does it say?”

Evelyn was annoyed when others looked over at her phone, so she hid her screen from view, “Can you please back up?!” Kissing her teeth, she looked back at the screen to see the message.

I’ve just arrived. I can’t wait to see you, love.

She stared at the message for a long moment, before standing up on shaky legs.

Well…here goes nothing.

________________

A/N:

*crosses fingers for smut next chapter*

Thank you all once again for the comments, they seriously make my day. Blown away by the support!

Bonus picture : Evelyn’s date fit, minus the jacket -
https://imgur.com/a/xYHdHx5
Photo cred: kishmycurls

Tom’s photo gave me professor Loki vibes so I-

Messed around in Procreate uwu

Previous Chapter

Summary:Evelyn Monroe has been a TA for professor Laufeyson’s Calculus course for four months now. He was known to be quite strict, but that never deterred her from applying for the position in order to be close to the man she had been secretly pining for. One evening, she returns to his office after opening hours… and with her bountiful luck, she walks in on something not meant to be seen.

Chapters: 5/?

Words: 2100

Warnings: Explicit sexual content

Tags:@milkymaidme@dangertoozmanykids101@alexakeyloveloki@little-moonbeam-666 @marvel-ous-fics@clovermariear@lynnesm@bitchyikes@moon-child-of-a-poet,@allthecraftandthings@bubblegumspitt @shockwavee@blondekel77

If you’d like to be added, let me know. I’ve also posted this onAO3

________

“Oh lord…please say it ain’t so! Shit… shit!”

By this point, Evelyn was thoroughly convinced she was cursed with bad luck.

The night before, she made sure to set the alarm on her phone for 7 am - but upon waking up to see a glaring 9:35 on her phone, it was then that she discovered that everything had been set to silent.

The Monday lecture started promptly at 8:00 and ended at 10 am, so Evelyn jumped from her bed in a frenzy as she rushed to get ready.

Having showered late last night, all Evelyn had to do was to brush her teeth, fluff out her hair, then throw on the easiest things she could find - a sundress, jacket, and flats.

She had already painstakingly chosen an outfit before bed, but she dreaded having to wrestle on the jeans she picked out when she was already in such a rush.

Evelyn wouldn’t admit it outright, but she wanted to look nice, or substantially better than usual before she went to assist professor Laufeyson during his lecture.

She spent about half the night picking out a nice outfit she thought best suited her figure, and agonized over her hair. It was difficult to style most times because of its texture - so she washed it, then installed flexi-rods to give her curls renewed definition.

But as she rushed out the door and unto the side-walk, she realized that all of her efforts would’ve been laid to waste regardless as she eyed the dark clouds that loomed above her.

She had no time to run back inside for an umbrella, and she regretted her choice of wearing a dress almost immediately, especially with its short length.

Evelyn swore under her breath as she decided to just book it towards campus, hoping she could beat the rain before it started pouring.

The weather in New York had been agreeable for the most part, despite it being early April - but of all days, the spring rain decided to make its appearance.

The raindrops pelted against her skin and dress ruthlessly as she ran, and her purse provided meager protection against the droplets as she held it above her head.

By the time she finally reached the building, she was thoroughly soaked.

Not only was Evelyn disastrously late, but she looked as good as a drenched rat. Her dress clung to her form uncomfortably, hair wet and sinking to her shoulders.

Thankfully the dress was opaque in color so her panties remained unseen. However, the outlines were still plainly visible as the material stuck snug to her body…and her nipples looked as though they wanted to rob a bank with the way they shot out.

Stepping inside, she made her way to the lecture hall hurriedly, ignoring her wet appearance. Her heart hammered inside of her chest, anxious and fearful of Professor Laufeyson’s reaction.

He expected her to be there to assist him. Thinking back to his email, he probably thought she no longer wanted to be his TA, when that was anything but the case.

She continued to berate herself all the way until she reached the door to his classroom, with nary a few minutes left until the lecture was over.

There were two entrances to the room, and she opted to enter through the back. She did not want to see the immediate disappointment in his eyes, so she tried to sneak in unnoticed and sulk in the corner until she could speak with him alone.

But Evelyn should’ve expected by now that things would never go her way, as all eyes in the room went to her direction - including the ones of her brooding professor.

At first glance, she thought she had seen disbelief, then relief fill his features, but it was quickly replaced with its usual stoic exterior.

The lecture hall was pin-drop silent as she averted her eyes from his gaze, scanning the room of its occupants as a hand clutched her jacket closed. She was surprised that mostly everyone in the room wore weary expressions - an odd sight to see whenever she helped out during his lectures in the past.

Despite it being math, and in the early hours at that, his students would still be fully engaged with the lesson from beginning to end. But now, they looked as if they were itching to leave their seats.

There was still around ten minutes left of the lecture, so Evelyn was taken aback when he decided to end it early, “I suppose everyone has done enough for today. Leave your quizzes face down on the desk, and our TAshall collect them. You may all go.”

She had never seen 50 or so students spring up so quickly from their seats at the same time.

Evelyn squished herself against the wall as a wave of students rushed past her to get to the door, leaving the room completely empty in a matter of minutes.

Woah, bad day today I guess…?

There were a few times Professor Laufeyson would get into one of his ‘moods’, and it seemed like today was one of those days. As for the cause, Evelyn was unsure.

He remained standing there at the bottom of the steps, arms crossed and leaning against the podium as he regarded her silently.

His quietness unsettled her as Evelyn awkwardly began to collect the quizzes, the patter of the rain against the windows and the squelch of her soaked flats making the majority of the noise in the room.

She slowly made her way down the steps, trembling due to both the chill in the air, and her nerves.

Evelyn did not know what to do with herself when she reached him, holding the stack of papers in an odd manner to prevent them from getting wet on her dress.

“Uhm… do you want me to just put them there, or…?” Evelyn gestured towards the desk beside the podium, cowering under his intense gaze.

He leaned off the podium to approach her quite suddenly, and Evelyn nearly fell backward in surprise as he got closer, “You are…wet.” His eyes left her own as they trailed down her figure to linger on her breasts, “No…you are positively drenched.”

Evelyn was now consciously aware of her jutting nipples through the wet fabric, and she shifted uncomfortably in a sly attempt to cover them with her jacket, “Yeah.. um- I’m… I’m sorry I’m so late, my alarm was silent, but I ran here as fast as I could… and the rain was -”

“I didn’t ask to hear an excuse, Evelyn.”

He took the papers from her fingers rather roughly, throwing them carelessly to a desk behind her.

Evelyn was startled. She knew he’d be mad, but not to this extent.

“I’m, uh… please just hear me out -”

“- I am not angry. You are here, are you not?” He slowly began to back her up against the desk, and Evelyn was thoroughly confused and concerned with the sudden turn of events.

He… he isn’t mad? And…but why the heck is he getting so close…!?

He was now so close to the point that he could wedge his legs between her own - and he did just that.

Evelyn’s eyes shot up quickly to meet his, filled with shock and disbelief. And then, her thoughts lost all comprehension when he began to idly play with a lock of her wet hair.

Ahhgkssksnhdiqfhioqgh!!!!!!

The way he looked right now…was an entirely different side of him she had yet to see. His eyes did not hold the coldness they usually carried, nor did he look kind. No…he looked as though he wanted to eat her whole. His fierce expression reminded her of that night. That predatory, animalistic look…

“I had thought.. that you no longer wanted to assist me, and that I would rarely see you, if ever,” his fingers left her hair to graze her cheek, “Yet here you are, and in this… state, no less..” His breathing picked up as he began to trace a finger down her neck, and to her collar bone, “Why must you make things so difficult for me?”

Evelyn struggled to stutter out a reply, “I.. I don’t know- I don’t mean to…to make things hard for you…I’ll try to be good for you from now on… and.. um.. uh… I’ll try to be on time…”

Perhaps it was the way she phrased her words, but it seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

The poor girl was knocked off-kilter as he pressed her body against his in a suffocating embrace; His face began to burrow into her neck to inhale, kiss, nip, and suck with such force she could only yelp in pain.

His hands then roamed across her back to grip her bum, lifting her up to roughly place her on the desk as he moved further in-between her legs.

“Holy - ow! Prof - Professor Laufeyson, what… what are you! -”

“ So much better… much better than I could have ever imagined…” was all he said, his voice choked to the brim with darkness and lust. It seemed as though he was deaf to the world as he continued his rough handling of her body, groping about wherever he could. Her legs were spread quite wide as he continued to rub against her, and Evelyn began to throb painfully down below due to his rough handling.

What..what…what…what?!

She had never felt such an uncomfortable, overwhelming sensation from her privates, so she weakly began to push against him in an attempt to stop his groping.

“Wait..please just…I don’t know what - oh!” His hands went underneath her dress to grip her bare hips, shoving her roughly against the hardness protruding from his pants. He grinded relentlessly against her clothed center, causing her to release an embarrassingly strangled moan.

He mumbled into her neck with harsh, breathless pants, “You have not an inkling… of how long I’ve staved off the temptation of having you beneath me. Across my desk, and at the mercy of my cock.”

Her eyes bulged out in stunned silence, her mouth open as she gripped his shoulders for dear life. She had no idea what was happening. She was so overwhelmed, that the familiar sensation of faint began to wash over her.

It was then that Evelyn truly began to panic.

“ Stop stop stop stop STOP!!! Gonna faint, gonna faint, gonna faint!”

Fortunately, her panicked pants managed to break through his trance. The predatory look disappeared from his irises in a flash as he came back to himself, and he pushed away quickly from the trembling woman beneath him.

Evelyn looked as though she had been thoroughly ravished. Her chest heaved as the jacket slipped from her shoulders, the straps of her wet dress half way down just shy of revealing her perky nipples.

Her neck was marred with bruises - and her chocolate brown legs were still spread wide as she sat on the desk, open for display to his eyes.

Apparently, her dress wasn’t the only thing that was now soaked.

The sight of her debauched appearance, and by his hands especially - would forever be etched into her professor’s memory.

However, panic and fear began to rush into his heart as she scrambled from on top of the desk, fixing her dress before gripping her jacket closed with both hands.

“Uh..uh….I..I-I gotta go!” Evelyn bolted towards and through the door at breakneck speed, not giving him a chance to speak.

Watching her run away from him created deep-seated despair, and he wanted to yell in frustration for scaring the poor girl. He had gotten so excited, to see that she actually showed up, that he momentarily lost control of his senses.

Loki was sure that the chances of her reappearing to continue her services as his TA, were now zero to none.

He wouldn’t even be able to settle for a substitute, having now had a taste of the real thing.

Loki ran a hand through his dark hair while considering his options, until he spotted something in his periphery.

In her haste, Evelyn had forgotten to take her purse that she had settled on a desk.

Seeing it, hope rekindled in his heart. She would surely pay a visit to his office later to collect her belongings, granting him another chance to speak with her.

With that thought in mind, he retrieved her purse, taking it to his office as he anticipated her arrival.

—–

A/N: Thank you so much for reading - as always, comments/suggestions are greatly appreciated, I love reading them way too much and I look forward to them every update! Now…I have some lukewarm news regarding the camping situation. Since my twin has a position that requires more training, she left for camp yesterday and informed me of a few things regarding the wifi situation there. There is absolutely no reception within the camp, with the exception of a few spots that do have wifi - such as the camp office, dining hall, etc. However, the walk to these spots is a bit… lengthy as it’s practically in the woods.

But! We do have break times and a day off, so I have time dedicated to catch up on writing/uploading chapters, as well as working on some art. Being surrounded by nature also fosters inspiration, so things won’t be all that bad! There’s technically a no cellphone policy, but that’s only during work hours. In basic terms, there’s wifi - but I can only make use of it during select times when I’m not busy with work/training. On the bright side, google docs don’t require internet, so I can write during the night, then upload as soon as I get time :p I can’t upload chapters with mobile for some reason on Tumblr, so I’ll have to see if they have computers there. If not, it would be on ao3 until I get to a computer.

*After hours update*

New chappie coming today, will post when I get home! Just a heads up.

Previous Chapter

Summary:Evelyn Monroe has been a TA for professor Laufeyson’s Calculus course for four months now. He was known to be quite strict, but that never deterred her from applying for the position in order to be close to the man she had been secretly pining for. One evening, she returns to his office after opening hours… and with her bountiful luck, she walks in on something not meant to be seen. 

Chapters: 3/?

Words: 2178

Tags:@milkymaidme@dangertoozmanykids101@alexakeyloveloki  @little-moonbeam-666  @marvel-ous-fics@clovermariear @lynnesm

If you’d like to be added, let me know. I’ve also posted this on AO3

_____________

“…I am unsure as to why you are prostrating in front of my door, but perhaps we could discuss matters… inside?”

With every fiber of her being, Evelyn desperately wanted to get up and hightail it down the hallway. But she remained glued to the floor, staring squarely at the two imposing feet in front of her. Cold sweat began to form at the base of her back, and she feared her heart was about to burst out of her chest with the way it was beating.

Evelyn cursed her luck. Why did he decide to leave his office now?  

She shot up clumsily to her feet, nearly bucking her already injured nose against his hard chest. Thankfully, he stepped back before she did.

Evelyn adjusted her dress, dusting off imaginary dirt as she clutched the letter in a tight grip.

She then proceeded to enter his office with hesitant, stiff steps, avoiding his gaze with a lowered head.

She could hear him sigh audibly, shutting the door behind him before moving around her to sit behind his desk.

An awkward silence descended upon the room, alongside a tension so thick she could cut it with a knife.

Evelyn remained standing, hands clammy with sweat as she looked at anything but Professor Laufeyson. It was as if suddenly, the vintage furniture in his office became immensely interesting. The green wallpaper had a pretty pattern to it as well-

The clearing of his throat breached the silence, then the sound of his voice reverberated throughout the room, “Would you please just…sit? You aren’t a stranger, Miss Monroe.”

She looked up briefly at the chair situated in front of his desk. Almost instantly, distracting images of professor Laufeyson and that woman began to flit quickly inside her mind’s eye. Naked and panting, the tangible smell of sex, their unified moans -

“No. I’m good. I’m not staying long anyway.” Her reply came out much harsher and clipped than intended, but she honestly didn’t want to sit near a desk where another female had just gotten her back blown out by her professor.

Professor Laufeyson merely sighed at her answer, and she took it as him conceding to her stance. But she was wrong.

“Evelyn.Look at me.”

The severity of his voice commanded such strong obedience from Evelyn, that she all but snapped her head up to attention - her wide, hazel eyes instantly meeting the cold, blue ones of her professor.

“ I insist that you sit. I would like to speak with you, face to face, as an adult.”

Slightly scared of what would happen if she didn’t, she obliged his request. Although, she made sure the chair was a comfortable distance away from the desk - which was a pretty wide margin.

If he was hurt by the way she scorned him, he didn’t show it. Instead, he met her gaze head on - not one flicker of embarrassment or shame in sight. Whatever terror or humiliation she saw in his eyes that night, seemed like an illusion.

“… First, I would like to explain-”

“I’m not telling anyone.” Evelyn cut him off abruptly, catching both herself and her professor off guard.

“ I-I mean, I told my sis, but she doesn’t go here, and um, uh, my momma ain’t raise no snitch, so please don’t worry about anyone else finding out. Because it’s none of my business. Zip Zip. Quiet as a mouse.”

Evelyn had the bad habit of babbling when she was nervous, and she seriously wished her mouth didn’t exist at that moment. However, it continued to have a life of its own as her words shot out rapidly, barely giving her professor a chance to speak.

“Evelyn, listen to-”

“ - And I came to…to tell you I can’t be your TA anymore. I uh…wrote a letter. I’ll accept an incomplete grade or something. I’ll try to talk about it with my…um… adviser…so yeah.”

Without another word, Evelyn got up from her chair to head straight for the door. If she stayed for another moment, she feared she would die from sheer, overwhelming embarrassment. It’s like all coherent thought fled from her whenever she was in the presence of this man.

She barely managed to open the door when it was shut back roughly with a loud bang!

Evelyn stood still in shock as the scent of her professor overwhelmed her senses - one large hand beside her head kept the door firmly shut, as his breath fanned against her neck.

Ho..holy crapping shit!

“I said listen to me, for God’s sake woman!”

Although his voice remained stern, she could hear a bit of pleading to it as well.

Evelyn couldn’t trust her voice to speak anyway, so she remained silent - hands pressed against her chest in a defensive posture.

He’s so close, he’s so close, holy…please back the heck up!

She was practically hyperventilating at this point, and she was pretty sure she was about to faint.

“Evelyn? Evelyn, please…look at me.”

He turned her around by the shoulder, and he could see that her brown skin was flushed red, sweat forming at the brows.

She was now facing his chest. He smelled really, really good, and when she looked up…his sharp blue eyes laced with concern bore into her being.

Evelyn had never, ever been this close to a man before. Much less one she liked. She never cared for a relationship and preferred to focus on her education. But now…her lack of experience was really biting her in the ass.

Yep. Definitely going to faint. Fuck my life.

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, before she was met with darkness.

_____________

The first thing Evelyn felt, was pure warmth. She felt so comfortable and at peace, that she didn’t want to move. Or wake up.

She nuzzled her face further into this warmth, as a soothing caress went up and down her back, then alongside her waist. It felt really good, and Evelyn was pretty much a melted puddle of goodness at this point.

The tantalizing scent of her professor filled her nostrils - sandalwood, lavender, whatever the hell it was that men wore these days lulled Evelyn deeper into -

Wait…wait a minute…

…. professor?

Evelyn’s eyes shot open as her sleep-addled mind began to gain awareness.

Two long, strong arms trapped her in an embrace, as she slept comfortably on the lap of professor Laufeyson.

Her face had been burrowed into his neck, and he had a possessive grip on her hip and arm as he caressed both idly.

What..what in the ducking fuck is goin’ on??!

Evelyn was freaking out mentally at this point, but she was too scared to move. She had fainted, which was embarrassing enough. But how in the world did she end up in her professor’s lap of all places?

They were still within the confines of his office from what she could see, and that he had settled them on the couch that was in the far corner of the room.

It was rarely used, however, and she recalled having to dust it off on multiple occasions. It was taking up space, and she always wondered why he even bothered to keep it there.

Well…it obviously came in handy now.

But she was confused as to why he didn’t just leave her on the couch until she woke up, and took to holding her instead.

She could no longer ponder over it however, as the deep rumbling of her professor’s voice through his chest startled the wits right out of her.

“ Since you are awake…perhaps we could now continue our conversation?”

Evelyn merely let out a high pitched ‘mhmm!’

At the moment, she couldn’t even speak if she wanted to. If her anxiety was bad before, it shot up several more levels.

All she could think about was the fact that she was actually sitting in his lap. And that he wastouching her. It was a wonder she hadn’t fainted again. Her dress had also ridden up quite a bit because of the way he was touching her, but she didn’t want to draw attention to that area by adjusting it.

He exhaled above her, continuing his soothing ministrations against her hip and shoulder, “ I…I apologize for startling you. If I had known you were so…weak hearted, I would not have done that. But I couldn’t just watch you leave when I hadn’t even begun to speak my part.”

His tone had shifted drastically from the stern, cold professor she had become used to. It was calming…and gentle.  And gentle was never a word she thought could be attached to this man. Well, the more you know…

“That night… I didn’t expect for anyone, least of all you, to be there. I was sure the door was locked, but I was sorely mistaken. I… I apologize sincerely for what you had to see, and for how I treated you. It is no excuse, but I was quite panicked.”

So…it hadn’t been a trick of the eyes. He was just as embarrassed about it as I was. But…

“Who…who was she?” Evelyn blurted out the first thing that came to mind, and once again wished she could bite off her own tongue.

She felt him stiffen significantly against her, before he gave a cool, distant reply, “ I’m afraid that isn’t any of your business. You have no need to concern yourself with her.”

The words left her mouth before she could stop herself, “ But..but she looked really familiar. She was around my skin tone, had a similar hairstyle, and she was around my… my…height…”

Those were… a lot of my’s…

Now that Evelyn thought about it…the only reason she entered his office was that she thought she heard her name. Very clearly.

She was a bit on the slow side when it came to these things, so it took a while before she could put two and two together.

Wait…no, that couldn’t be. I’m definitely tripping. Am I overthinking shit? She…was she? -

“Perhaps it is time for you to head home.”

He shifted her off his lap quite suddenly, and she was ashamed to say she was getting quite aroused comfortable sitting there.

She watched him with wide eyes as he got up, and began to take his long overcoat from the hanger, “You were out for approximately half an hour, and it has gotten quite late. I will take you home.”

Evelyn knew if she pursued the question, he’d most likely get irritated with her. But she couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility…

“Uh…but is she a student here? Or.. or…”

“Evelyn.”

He turned around to look at her, his eyes glacier, “I will notrepeat myself.”

Well yikes… okay then…

Seeing her expression, he sighed in resignation, “No, she is not a student. Please leave it at that.”

Evelyn got up silently from the couch, picking up her cardigan before slipping on her flats, “Yeah… um…sorry. I don’t live far from campus, so I can just walk-”

“When I said that I would take you home, it wasn’t a question.”

He opened the door, waiting for her to step out. “After you.”

The drive back in his car had been mostly silent so far, and Evelyn had no intention of breaking it. She was drained both physically and mentally, and she was glad she had no classes the next day.

But she could see from her periphery that he stole glances at her from time to time, like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.

It wasn’t often that her professor was lost for words, so she was curious as to what he wanted to say. Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long, “…I understand if your decision is solidified, regarding being my TA. However…I would be extremely grateful if you were to remain. I… I value your presence.”

Evelyn looked back at him hesitantly, “But…I thought I was doing badly anyway…that’s why I got you that cake, since I felt terrible about it.”

At the mention of the cake, her professor surprised her with a warm chuckle, “Regardless of the circumstances, I appreciate the thought very much. On that note, TAs do not have midterm evals usually- I had just wanted to scare you into attending meetings more consistently.”

Evelyn was baffled for multiple reasons -  First, was that he chuckled. And second, was that he basically lied to her so she could come by more often.

Don’t let it get to your head…he definitely isn’t interested. I’m his student, he was just looking out for me, like always.

But then… why would he use my name that night? And that lady was practically my twin…

Long after he had dropped her home, and she had settled beneath the covers of her bed, thoughts along those lines continued to plague her mind.

___________

A/N: Please, do not hesitate to let me know what you think! It feeds into my drive~

Previous chapter

Summary:Evelyn Monroe has been a TA for professor Laufeyson’s Calculus course for four months now. He was known to be quite strict, but that never deterred her from applying for the position in order to be close to the man she had been secretly pining for. One evening, she returns to his office after opening hours… and with her bountiful luck, she walks in on something not meant to be seen.

Warnings: Sexual content, Excessive swearing

Chapters: 2/?

Words: 1805

Tags:@milkymaidme@dangertoozmanykids101@alexakeyloveloki@little-moonbeam-666

If you’d like to be added, let me know. I’ve also posted this on AO3

Never, in all twenty-four years of her life, did Evelyn ever think she would see the stoic and cold Professor Laufeyson in this manner.

He looked close to animalistic as he pounded into the female underneath him - his long raven hair dampened by sweat, his shirt open to reveal his chiseled form, and pants down just enough to release the cock currently nestled deep inside the mystery woman’s cunt.

Her professor was so concentrated on his task, that it took the screaming woman underneath him to alert him of Evelyn’s presence.

When he finally noticed her, Professor Laufeyson had gone sheet white, shock and terror written on his features.

Evelyn was frozen in place, eyes wide and mouth agape as she watched the two people in the room frantically try to cover their modesty.

The woman leapt off the desk in a panic, stooping down behind it to hide her nakedness. Her professor was busy buttoning his shirt with trembling hands after tucking his softening erection back inside his pants, having long discarded the paddle to the floor.

Evelyn’s eyes then looked down to the lemon cake that had spilled entirely outside its box, ruining a vast majority of the polished floor.

Without thinking, she dropped to the floor in a stupid attempt to shove the cake back inside the box, “Oh- oh my god, holy shit oh my god I’m so sorry, I- I just wanted to.. Holy shit..!”

Evidently, Evelyn was unable to think clearly in her frazzled state. In her attempt to salvage the cake, she only worsened the mess on the floor.

Although her ears were buzzing in a panic, she could still hear her professor’s breathless voice above her.

“What… What are you doing here… ?”

The only answer he received was incoherent babblings from a woman who was not in her right mind, “I-I- I don’t know I thought I heard my name - fuck this fucking cake! Holy fuck…”

Panic coursed through his veins as he felt himself raise his voice, “Just leave it. LEAVE!”

He didn’t need to tell her twice.

Evelyn got up quickly, but with the mess on the floor, she slipped right back down face first with a crack.

He did not expect that. Before he could even attempt to help her, she scrambled up off the floor, cupping her nose as she ran out of his office. The cake on her flats gave her extra speed as she slipped and slid through the hallway, leaving behind a trail of cake as she raced to exit the building.

Evelyn did not stop running, tears blurring her vision as she ran all the way to her apartment. Perhaps due to adrenaline, what would have been a thirty-minute walk home only took ten minutes with the way she ran.

She didn’t even bother trying to find her keys, and instead started to bang on the door until her sister opened it for her.

When her sister finally swung it open, what greeted her was Evelyn covered head to toe in cake, with teary eyes and a bloody nose.

“What the fuck happened to you?!”

She did not answer her, and instead ran inside to bolt straight to her bedroom.

“Hey! Eve, what the hell? You high or some shit?”

Her sister was hot on her heels, following Evelyn as she threw herself haphazardly on the bed to hide underneath the blankets. “ Oh fuck, I wish. I’m dropping out. I’m so dropping out.”

Now, her sister became extremely concerned. “Hey hey hey… what’s goin’ on? Something up at school? Come on, you’re messin’ up the sheets…”

Evelyn pulled the covers roughly from her head to glare at her sister, “I don’t give a flying, ever living fuck about the sheets Candice. I’m ruined. Oh god, everything’s ruined.”

She then proceeded to curl into an even tighter ball, before crying hysterically. She couldn’t get the images of her professor having sex out of her head, in addition to the way she made a fool out of herself like Bobo the clown.

“Okay, okay… I’m sorry. But take a shower so you’re more comfy, okay? We can talk about it over tacos.”

At the mention of tacos, Evelyn peeked once more from underneath the covers, sniffling, “From the place down the street? With extra hot sauce?”

Candice laughed at the instant perkiness, “Yup, only on Taco Tuesdays. Now get up so we can eat.”

Evelyn begrudgingly listened to her sister’s advice, getting up from under the sheets to wash off the cake. It took some effort to detangle the cake from the mess of curls, and her nose stung as the water hit her face under the spray of the shower. With the way it bled, Evelyn hoped it wasn’t broken.

When she was finished, she quickly dressed in an oversized T-shirt and underwear, opting to go without shorts as she sulked her way to the kitchen.

Candice was busy heating up the tacos, and Evelyn sat down at the table to watch her with a blank expression. Even after the shower, she still felt like shit.

Eventually, a plate of steaming hot tacos was placed in front of her. But she couldn’t even work up the appetite for her favorite meal.

“So…” Candice blew on her taco before taking a big bite, “ Spill the tea. What the heck happened?”

Exhaling deeply, Evelyn tried not to cry as she spoke, “You..oh fuck…do you remember, uh…professor Laufeyson?”

“Mmm!” Candice made a noise of recognition, her mouth filled with food. She then spoke with her mouth still full, “The one with the sexy ass accent? And the cheekbones?”

Evelyn made a look of disgust at her sister’s open mouth before replying, “Yeah…him.”

“Oh shit… he is fine as hell. But continue.”

Evelyn tried not to break down as she retold her story. But by the end, Candice was a screeching, laughing mess.

“Oh FUCK! Hahahaha! I’d drop the hell out too sis! Phew! You’re fuckin’ with me. Please tell me you’re just fucking with me,”

She was beginning to grow upset, but Candice didn’t care, “Did you see his dick? The hoe he was with?”

“You think I gave a fuck about looking at his dick Candice? And who he was banging the shit out of?”

Her sister gave her a look before she relented, “It’s huge, okay? There. And I don’t know who she was…”

Candice calmed down eventually, and when she did, her tone grew a bit more serious,
“So..what’re you actually gonna do? It’s not like you can just drop being a TA..”

Evelyn looked down at her untouched plate, idly picking up a taco, “Yeah… and it’s too late in the semester to drop anything anyway. And I need the credits if I want to graduate on time…”

They both sat in silence, before Evelyn jumped up with renewed determination, “You know what? I’m just gonna confront him. Write a nice letter stating why I can’t be his TA anymore, then leave. Then I won’t see his face anymore. I..I won’t..”

At that point, Evelyn began to cry once more. “ I like him, you know? Fuck, I liked him. Now I can’t look him in the face anymore after this. Please don’t laugh Candice, I already feel like shit…”

“Hey… I’m not laughing at all.” Candice went around the table to pull her sister into an embrace,
“ I don’t blame you. You can’t choose who the heart likes, okay? Confront him, then leave. You’ll forget about him eventually.”

“ Okay… I think I’ll skip the meeting tomorrow though. Way too soon.”

That’s what Evelyn told herself when she continued to skip classes for a week.

Whenever she thought about Professor Laufeyson, sordid images would replay in her mind, then she’d put off going to his office.

She was even afraid to check her email because just seeing his name on the subject line would trigger it. The look on his face. The way his hips moved as he thrusted, then she’d imagine it was her instead on his desk…

She was ashamed that her imagination even strayed in that direction. That she felt jealousy towards the woman that had the luck to get fucked on his desk.

And at the thought of that woman… something about her bothered Evelyn. She looked extremely familiar; chocolate brown skin, short curly hair… she just couldn’t put her finger on it. She was around her height as well -

Her sister’s sudden intrusion into her room interrupted her thoughts, “ Eve, you can’t put it off any longer! And you have to be on campus today anyway. Don’t you have midterm critiques?”

“Yeah yeah…I know. Don’t you see I’m dressed?”

Candice looked Evelyn up and down in approval, “Okay, good. Do you have the letter written?”

“Yup,” Evelyn took the folded note from her handbag, handing it to her older sister to read,
“What do you think?”

She watched as Candice’s eyes quickly skimmed the paper, “ Nice, looks professional and shit. He better not fail you. Make sure to hand it off in person, send a clear message.”

Evelyn retrieved the paper from her fingers, placing it back inside her purse, “…Yeah. Definitely. In person. Got it.”

Evelyn dreaded the entire day going to his office. She couldn’t concentrate on critiques, and she spent the remainder of the day moving at a snail pace in order to avoid the inevitable. She took her time, doing all sorts of things she’d never normally do just to get out of seeing the professor that plagued her with sinful thoughts.

It was around seven in the evening that Evelyn finally worked up the courage to march towards the Science department, heading straight towards his office. When she finally reached it, however, her nerves took over completely.

She spent the next ten minutes pacing in front of his door, letter in hand as she contemplated what to say in order to salvage her grade. And the more she contemplated, the more her determination fled from her.

You know what… fuck the grade. I’ll just take the damn L.

Evelyn then proceeded to bend down, in an attempt to slip the letter of her withdrawal underneath his door.

Just gonna slip this under, then dip. Easy peasy.

However, the letter refused to slip under, remaining stubbornly on her side of the door.

“What the..get.. get under there…!” Evelyn mumbled to herself in frustration as she got on her knees, still trying in vain to shove the paper underneath the door.

She was about to give up when the door opened abruptly, causing her to fall forward fully on her hands and knees.

A pair of polished Oxford’s came within her line of sight, and Evelyn all but froze in shock at the deep voice that rumbled above her.

“…Evelyn?”

———————

A/N: Hey, let me know what you thought! It’s always encouraging to see comments about the story :) I didn’t expect that you guys would like this fic so much, so I couldn’t leave you hanging for long.

Chapter 8 - Strip

In which bodies and secrets are laid bare.

I’ve been waiting for this chapter… I’ve had it in the back of my mind for James Conrad for… maybe four years? God bless @lokislastlove​ for making me finally write it.

BIG trigger warnings for the aftermath of abduction and abuse. It’s not particularly explicit but I want you to be forewarned. 18+ only, of course.

Breakfast the next morning was actually at 1pm, which you had come to accept was Billy’s way. Still, you thought scones and clotted cream were pretty tasty at any time of the day. Nigel was starting up about what to do that night, and you broke in. 

“So, my brother Matt is going to be in town tonight, we might be heading out on our own.” You watched Conrad’s brow rise as he looked at you, but he was silent.

“Oh I know Matthew,” Billy drawled. “I am certain he will wish to accompany us tonight. This new club is quite enticing.” He was sipping his tea with pinky stubbornly extended as you stared at him.

“What? How- how would you know my brother? I mean-”

“We’ve done business before,” Billy said, flapping his hand in a dismissive way. Chancing a quick look at Conrad, you could tell he was also wondering what kind of business that might be.

“Yeah, okay…” you said doubtfully, “I’ll just see how he’s feeling when he shows up tonight.”

Business? Matt had business with Billy? There was no context in which that statement didn’t alarm you.

“So what’s your brother like?” Nigel was hanging dangerously over your shared balcony to keep from blowing cigarette smoke onto you. He was wearing a carelessly unbuttoned white shirt, his signature leather pants and at your stern ultimatum, underwear. 

“He’s… quirky,” you said, “He’s always flying around the world on mysterious errands and adventures. We don’t see each other as often as I’d like, but I love him. We’ve been through a lot together.” You were buttoning up a black silk blazer over a black lacy bustier and checking that you hadn’t missed a spot when shaving your legs.

“Quirky?” Nigel laughed, ashing over the railing, “Mysterious trips to foreign lands? Sounds like a drug dealer.”

“Very funny,” you snarled, awkwardly turning back to finish your makeup and ignoring the chill that went up your back. After all this time, you really had no idea what Matty did with his time. None at all.

James watched everyone prepare for a night at a club he hated. He could not hate this club more, but not enough that he could morally step away from his duty. But he was mentally crossing off musicians from the list of clients he’d be willing to work with from now on. Putting his life on the line for a drug-addled lunatic like Billy was making him question his life choices. He noticed Nigel peek out into the main room of the suite and grin, retreating back into Maila’s room.

He knew that they were not sexual with each other, but it was their intimacy that caused the resentment he’d been fighting. That the drummer could stroll into the privacy of her bedroom, that he could watch her get ready for the night, dance with her, whisper secrets together. 

Maila dressing… James smothered a groan, keeping his expression impassive as he pictured the glow of her skin in the lamplight, brushing her hair or running a finger over her mouth to smooth her lipstick…

Stop. 

He shook his head, trying to dispel the image, trying to concentrate on his actual purpose for being here. But he could see Maila and Nigel in the other room.

“Matt’s here?” Maila’s hand paused, mascara wand poised in midair.

“Yeah,” said Nigel, lighting up on the balcony again. “He’s talking to Tommy.”

James had never seen her move so fast, mascara wand thrown on the counter and he heard her voice, a little high and strained.

“Matty!”

Stepping in just after her, he watched a beautiful young man, inches away from Tommy, staring at him avidly. “Glasgow Smile, huh?”

His friend raised a brow. “You gotta thing about scars, mate?”

“These are amazing…” Matt - he presumed - drawled reverently, pale blue eyes alight. He was almost as tall as James, with dark hair and fair, perfect skin. A hint of fashionable stubble and a very expensive suit, no tie. He was still leaning in too close to Tommy, who finally put up one big hand. 

“This is goin’ on your face and shoving you away unless you back up by yourself.”

“Hey, Matty,” Maila stepped between them, subtly pushing her brother back a few steps. “No hug?”

“Hey, sis,” hugging her briefly, he put an arm around her shoulders and looked at Tommy again. “You are goddamn beautiful, man. A work of art.”

“Matt,” she was rubbing her eyes, careful to not smear her impeccable swoop of eyeliner. “Please don’t be weird in front of my friends.” 

He laughed delightedly, “Yeah, okay.”

Based on Maila’s expression, James thought he was not the only one who was unenthused about the evening. She was sitting between her brother and Billy, who were leaning over her to talk in some kind of animated shorthand that involved uttering half a sentence before the other started laughing. Maila sat with perfect posture, knees together and a polite expression. James knew her ‘tells’ now, how this expression meant she wasn’t comfortable but wasn’t planning on making a fuss about it. He hated seeing it on her face, hated the fact that she ever had to be in an uncomfortable position ever again.

Speaking of uncomfortable…

“Where is Roderick?” queried Billy, preening in the mirror over the minibar in the SUV.

“Who?” said Lea and Nigel together. 

Billy looked at them with deep disappointment. “Roderick, as you surely recall, is our Lighting Director.”

Tommy chuckled until he realized he was serious. “Boss, ya’ do remember that the Lighting Guy is the one who snuck you out of the hotel and when things went all wrong with the knife weildin’ arseholes he took a runner and left ya?”

Billy drew his hands to his chest. “Roderick left me?”

“Yes,” the entire group spoke together.

“Well, that’s certainly rude,” he sulked. “So, where is he now?”

James spoke firmly. “He has been sacked. I have an associate keeping an eye on him while we investigate if he had anything to do with the other attempts. You will recall it was the lighting array that nearly killed you and Maila.”

“No shit?” Matt leaned forward, glaring at his sister. “I didn’t hear about this one.”

“Then she probably didn’t tell you about the attempted poisoning,” Billy offered helpfully.

“Are we there yet?” Maila sighed.

Club Naakt was a spectacular church remodeled into a nightclub. The exterior glowed with a dozen spotlights and music roaring through the outside speakers. James frowned. He’d already cleared a section for Billy and his entourage, and the second-story dance floor was only for the VIP guests. That cut down on potential danger but not all factors could be controlled. 

Though it was much more difficult to hide a weapon when everyone was in their underwear, or less.

“Ohhh,” said Lea, “that’s what Naaktmeans in Dutch, huh?”

“Yes!” Billy said jubilantly, drinking from a bottle of Absinthe while eagerly peeling his pants off his skinny legs. “At first I had intended to go au natural, but then I remembered that a man of a certain age finds that his tackle is hanging somewhat lower than he might wish for optimum viewing by the ladies. Not that I amthat man, of course,” he hastened to add, voice muffled as he pulled off his silk shirt, “but I would not wish to make other guests resentful, or jealous.”

“Mighty thoughtful of ya’,” Tommy said with a straight face.

James just barely heard Maila mutter, “Oh, thank god.”

The waiters, dressed as scandalous versions of angels and demons, brought numerous ice buckets of champagne, oysters, Blini with Caviar, luscious, tiny bites of Beef Spiedini and Togarashi Seared Ahi. 

Maila was already popping a Salmon and Caviar Puff Pastry Tower in her mouth. “If I have to take my clothes off,” she hissed to Marcelle, “I’m going to need to drink. A lot.”

“Line your stomach,” Marcelle nodded wisely, “you can drink half a gallon. Are you wearing that black lace bustier I tried to make you use onstage?”

James leaned in slightly. He was very, very interested in learning if she was wearing the black lace bustier. He watched her finish off another flute of champagne and seize one of the Ahi bites. “Yeah,” she mumbled with her mouth full.

Matt didn’t need any encouragement to strip down and after kissing his sister on the top of her head, he whooped and headed to the dance floor with Nigel - wearing black bikini underwear that really, really didn’t need to be so form-fitting -  and Billy, still wearing his cowboy boots and some billowing boxer shorts. There was already a gaggle of pretty girls in various stages of undress happy to join them. 

Tommy turned to James with a grin. “Well? You take the lead here, mate. Take ‘em off.” This unfortunately led to a series of shouts from the rest of the group.

“Take it off! Take it off!”

“You’re fired,” he gritted to the Scot, who simply grinned unpleasantly and settled in a corner where he could survey the entire VIP section.

Pulling off his blue suit jacket, a muscle ticked in James’ cheek as he rapidly unbuttoned his white dress shirt, irritably pulling it free from his pants. There was a little sigh of appreciation that ripped through the group as it came off, the blue and purple lights sending a sheen of color over his chest and arms.

“You beautiful bastard!” blurted Billy, taking another gulp of Absinthe. 

From the corner of his eye, James could see Lea, Maila, and Marcelle lean forward as one when he loosened his belt and pulled down his zipper.

That’s it, he vowed, no more musicians. 

Tossing his dress pants irritably over his jacket, he strode over to the dance floor to cover Billy, refusing to look back when one of the women sighed, “Oh, my god.”

He was circling Billy, refusing to dance, even when one girl and then another would undulate invitingly and then slink away at his cold expression. It didn’t help when his employer danced around him in a circle, gleefully singing Adam Ant’s tune.

Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes

Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes

Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do?

Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do?

Subtle innuendos follow

Must be something inside…

And then he caught a glimpse of Maila in the VIP area, taking a last gulp of champagne and standing to remove her silk jacket, displaying the aforementioned bustier, beautifully shaping her waist and cradling her cleavage with black lace. Her hands paused at her skirt, then swiftly removed it with the air of ripping off a bandaid.

He’d seen her wearing less, even her stage costume was alarmingly scanty, but there was something about this woman in her underwear… slightly vulnerable, but refusing to cringe. She strode onto the dance floor to the cheers of Matt and Nigel, swirling her hips as the music segued into - appropriately enough - “Strip.”

It’s at times like this, the great heaven knows

that we wish we had not so many clothes

So let’s loosen up with a playful tease

like all lovers did through the centuries

We’re just following ancient history

If I strip for you, will you strip for me?

We’re just following ancient history

If I strip for you, will you strip for me?

A-ha-ha

As the rest of the group finally stripped and joined them on the dance floor, Tommy shamelessly pulled off his leather jacket, jeans, and t-shirt, his boxer briefs getting a cheer from the tipsy women. 

“Lighten up,” he shouted into James’ ear. “We’re here. Everyone’s naked or gettin’ close. So no one’s packing a weapon.” His amused gaze dropped lower to his friend’s midsection for a moment. “Well, maybe ye’ are.” Laughing, he dodged a swipe and danced off into the other corner of the triangle they’d established around Billy.

James Conrad knew he was attractive to women - to a good section of the male population as well - he’d been naked or nearly so countless times without concern. But the sense of being bare as a bodyguard to this eccentric lunatic who was currently sandwiched between two women put his heartbeat into overdrive. He didn’t need weapons to protect the man - in fact, using a gun meant he’d already lost. But the swirling lights, countless moving bodies, and the hypnotic, repetitive dance music were… distracting. It was easier to blame the club interior than the real issue, he admitted as he circled Billy again. 

Maila. 

Hands over her head, eyes closed and head thrown back blissfully. She had her own constellation of admirers, though her brother and Nigel were doing a good job of creating a perimeter around her. She’d finally let go of her reservations and god - this woman! Lean muscles flexed and tightened in her thighs, hips thrusting and swirling into a figure eight. 

Focus, you arse, he thought bitterly. You’re on the clock.

Still, when he’d herded a sweaty Billy and his entourage back to their safe haven overlooking the dance floor, he nodded to Tommy. “You got this for a moment?”

His friend, who’d also watched Maila climb the iron stairs to the rooftop lounge, scoffed. “Get out of here, ya’ horny bastard. This is gettin’ annoying.” Tommy resigned himself to another session of uncomfortably close scrutiny from Matt and his eager questions.

The rooftop was blessedly cool, a light breeze coming in off the canals and candlelight flickering among the white drapes flowing back and forth. He found Maila lounging on one of the wicker couches. She was holding a wine glass and had thrown her jacket over her pretty undies, an action he observed with some regret.

Her eyes opened to see him there, lingering at a polite distance. “Come sit down. You must be worn out, chasing after Billy.”

James did, enjoying the relative quiet, the dance music dulled to a rhythmic thumping under their feet. “It’s nice up here,” he offered.

“Mmm…” she agreed, eyes closed again. “The scene here is so over the top. It’s exhausting.”

“Your brother’s quite… fascinated with scars,” he ventured. “Does he practice scarification?”

She gave a short, humorless chuckle, looking back out over the city. “No. But his compulsion to view the scars of others is quite… uh, obvious, isn’t it?”

Taking another sip of his drink, he smiled in a noncommittal way. She was actually speaking to him, he wasn’t going to break the spell. 

The wind blew one side of her suit jacket open, and he was treated to another view of her lace corset and undies. “It’s from the time before you rescued us. Did you ever read the follow-up report? From the medical exams?”

He thought of her sweet expression as a twelve year old in the picture holding her violin, and then the blank look she’d worn when he scooped her up off the warehouse floor and took her to freedom. The only thing he’d asked post-mission was if the twins were okay, a rather feeble inquiry because of course they wouldn’t be. But he’d been told they “survived.” He’d left it at that, already in the middle of researching another extraction.

Clearing his throat, James looked up again. “I didn’t.”

She nodded, “I didn’t think you had. You probably remember the militants kept us for nearly three weeks.” The corner of her mouth curled up, “So many negotiations, and there was press coverage by then so they were enjoying getting their propaganda out.” The hand bringing her glass of wine to her mouth shook slightly. “We were both um, we were hurt. To motivate my parents, I guess. The State Department. Just for fun, who knows? But it was years before Matt would look at me. He was so sure that I got the worst of it and that it was somehow his fault.”

He knew what had happened to her brother, the desperation to find them before he would suffer more. But looking at this beautiful woman, so perfectly composed with that little Mona Lisa smile, what in god’s name had happened to her? She was pulling off her suit jacket, pulling up her hair to expose her back. Taking the wordless invitation, he leaned in close, his hand just hovering over but never touching the silver lines making a map of pain over her smooth skin. 

“I’ve… um, I’ve always regretted that I didn’t try to talk my mother out of the revisions. So many visits to the plastic surgeon. I think the procedures to hide the scarring hurt worse than when those men gave them to me.” Her voice was detached, even a little dreamy.

The lights strung overhead on the patio lit up the delicate marks criss-crossing her back, down to the base of her spine, and as he knelt, striping the back of her thighs. His hand hovered over them, feeling the warmth from her skin.

“May I touch you?”

She heaved a sigh, something like relief. “Yes. You’re not like, you know, Matty, right?”

James gave a soft chuckle, standing up. “No. But these are marks of courage. And they are beautiful.”

Maila pulled away a little. “Don’t do that- it’s so condescending and our therapist always used to say that, and-”

His fingers, rough and calloused from years of battle, settled gently on her collarbone, the softest touch. He shrugged off his jacket and took her hand, directing it to a cluster of scar tissue just under his ribs. “A bullet. Hollow point so it disintegrated into a dozen pieces in my abdomen. I was in the field and we didn’t have a medic, so my First Lieutenant removed them.” James could feel her cool fingers trace the scarring, a touch featherlight. He lifted his left arm. “This one…” he gently moved her hand. “This was a knife- a KA-BAR. He was trying to get it under my ribs and up to my heart.”

Her lovely face creased in sadness. “I’m so sorry.”

James covered her hand, resting on his heart with his own. “Does it disgust you?”

Now, he’d offended her. “Of course not!” Her wide eyes looked up at his. “How could you think that?”

God, the tenderness he felt for this woman… “Then you must accept that I find you to be utterly beautiful. Powerful. Brave. You were then, and even more so now.” His breath was heavier in his chest, slower, as he carefully, slowly, drew the back of his fingers up her arms and over her shoulders. Her lids dropped to half-mast, a shaky breath drawn as he slid one hand into her thick hair, and the other carefully cradling her cheek, his thumb stroking her cheekbone.

“May I kiss you, Maila?”

She opened her eyes again, staring into his. Open, painfully stripped of her little shields and barriers. “Yes, please.”

“Thank god,” he muttered, bending down to put his mouth against hers.

I’m building a Blood and Music playlist on Spotify, if you’d like to listen along…

So I wanted to add the smut here. God, I really wanted to add the smut. But the intimacy of sharing their most vulnerable parts seemed more personal. So smut up next. I swear.

Alerting mutuals who I think might be interested, please let me know if you’d like on or off this list. Thank you!

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