#tom milsom
It seems both Alex Day and Tom Milsom have worked with/ contacted/ befriended Jonathan King, a song-writer, producer and presenter who was “sentenced to seven years in prison in 2001, after being found guilty of committing sexual offences against five boys aged 14 and 15 during the 1980s”. This is a man who said that Jimmy Savile, probably the most talked about child sex abuser in British media, was innocent. Apparently Tom was working with him only a few months ago. I found this information thanks to Ian (@Magictheatre1) and Sasha (@sashafantastic) on twitter. Who also shared video evidence of Tom working with Jonathan King. And a link to Jonathan King’s website blog post talking about Alex.
This just shows what sort of company they feel is ok to keep. The fact that before knowing this, I almost fell for Alex’s non-apology video makes me genuinely feel quite sick. Both Tom and Alex were people I looked up to for years growing up. Now when I think of them I feel disgusted. Just completely disgusted.
Please reblog and share this, because more people need to know.
In a new video (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tO-sqIoi_lQ), Vlogbrother Hank Green has announced three separate initiatives aimed at combating sexual assault.
In it, he discusses the societal factors involved in sexual assault and, using an unusual metaphor involving a kitten and a cruise missile, blames patriarchal standards and societal expectations of romance as being a significant part of the problem:
“I’m explaining culture but I’m not excusing the behaviour, when we’re set up to assume that the kitten is gonna run whether the kitten wants the cruise missile or not, that enables abuse”
Although not directly mentioned in the video itself, it comes in the wake of allegations of rape and sexual assault against Tom Milsom and Alex Day, popular YouTubers, musicians, and now former clients of Green’s record label DFTBA Records.
The community has been rocked for days by these credible and very serious allegations and multiple, prominent YouTubers have come out in support of the victims and -in Day’s case- even add their own statements of abuse.
At the time Green stated that “you cannot fix a problem if you cannot face a problem”and it seems that he and his brother, author John Green, now intend to back that up with concrete action.
Task Force
The first of the initiatives is a task force composed of Nerdfighters, the name used to describe their channels community of subscribers, and actual survivors of rape and sexual assault.
Neither of the Greens has yet released any information on what the exact role and activities of this task force will be. It will presumably be involved in online advocacy and, this is pure unwarranted speculation, may have have some form of involvement in this years VidCon.
Videos
The brothers will be producing and funding a series of videos that discuss sexual abuse, consent and relationships, particularly within the context of the digital age and modern communication, citing Skype as an example.
It is not known who will be presenting them.
Partnership
The vlogbrothers will be partnering with an as-yet unnamed number of established rape and sexual assault organisations and charities to “bring their work and their resources into our community and hopefully into other online communities as well”
While some of this information may seem vague it is worth noting the very short time frame in which these projects have been drawn up, it seems likely that new information and a deeper level of detail will be made public when the projects have been more fully developed.
It’s been 2 days since allegations against Tom Milsom, and later former Sons of Admirals bandmate Alex Day, were made and the YouTube community is still deeply in shock.
Further accusations of sexual and emotional manipulation have been made about Day (http://nephiesworld.tumblr.com/post/79482695900/couldnt-sleep-wanted-to-rant-too-for-the-final-time), travel blogger Nephelia has released a statement alleging that he and his cousin, Sopio card co-creator Danny, traveled to her house and that it lead to things happening that she did not consent to:
“I stupidly shared a bed with Alex because he was holding my hand and I thought that was just gonna be it […] I’d never experienced anything like that before, especially when someone kind of ends up on top of you in the dark”
Furthermore, referring to Day’s cousin Danny and an un-named person, she states that:
“I had to listen to people who were 11 years apart having underage sex”
John Green
She also adds further credence to the theory that this was a long standing pattern of abuse by Day and a significant problem within the YouTube community as a whole, saying that:
“Alex texted Danny something along the lines of “which one do you want” because apparently he got first choice the last time this happened”
“when I first met Lindsey and I told her I had only been hanging out with youtubers for a few months, she told me to run away as fast as I could, and she was right. She was always right about that”
Shockingly, she says that none other than Vlogbrother John Green himself may have had suspicions about Day for years:
“John Green’s been warning girls after they have been in videos with Alex about him for the past few years”
“I used to be really good friends with Kim and she was in contact with John on skype and stuff, and after she was in a video with him (the test thingy one) John kind of gave her a warning about hanging out with him”
Day’s New Statement
Day has released a further statement (http://that-alexday.tumblr.com/post/79505198461/on-consent), apparently admitting to violating people’s lack of consent:
“Until yesterday, I thought that I had had only appropriate, though occasionally manipulative relationships with women. However, the model of consent that I followed, not that I specifically thought about it at the time - was that only “no” meant “no.” That is not what consent is.”
Confusion and False Accusations
Despite valuable contributions from people who have collated as much valid information together as they can (http://unpleasantmyles.tumblr.com/post/79455706244/heres-the-post-olga-made-about-tom-milsom-and) in many cases confusion has ruled the day, posts asking for any information at all fill the tags of many prominent YouTubers.
This has not been helped by completely fabricated accusations directed at Tyler Oakley and popular bloggers and now radio presenters Dan and Phil. Both sets have now either been recanted and removed by the author or outright disproven.
Frustration has even been directed at Vlogbrother Hank Green, his previous silence over the matter and Day’s as of then continued presence on the DFTBA website, in contrast to the almost immediate disowning of Tom Milsom after the original allegations were made against him, has prompted accusations of a lack of transparency.
In response, he said that:
“I am proud and honored that people look to me for guidance and I take that responsibility very seriously. Because I take it so seriously, and because so many people look to me, I have a responsibility to act carefully and productively”
“I didn’t mean to say that I was burying this and that the silence was the “appropriate” action. I meant to say that I am spending every second of this day working toward appropriate action, but I think that there is little to no value in reacting immediately when it is likely that further information is on the way”
Prominent, longstanding YouTube vlogger and musician Lex Croucher and vlogger and LifeScouts designer Lindsey (known as Pottermoosh) have issued statements in the light of his denial of the previous anonymous statements made against him.
Their statements both directly conflict with Day’s assertion that “At no point in my life have I ever undertaken any romantic activity, sexual or otherwise, without being sure the other person wanted it”
In them they also echo very specific details included in the anonymous allegations, such as Day asking one anonymous accuser to sleep in his bed with him, kissing them against their wishes and even a particular question, word for word
(http://pottermoosh.tumblr.com/post/79407750530/maaan-i-really-didnt-want-to-get-involved-with)
“they both sound like I could have written them, aside from a few specific details. I definitely feel like I was manipulated emotionally by him and coerced into doing stuff that he was in no way 100% sure that I wanted to do. He used the ‘Can we skip the part where you say no for an hour before anything happens?’ line on me too”
(http://lexcanroar.tumblr.com/post/79405482829/re-on-mistakes)
“Alex kissed me, and I stopped him and told him I didn’t want to as I was recently getting over a break-up and wasn’t ready. I told him I just needed him to be my friend. Alex ignored this, and continued to try to kiss me despite what I’d said. He later asked me to sleep in his bed and was very frustrated with me when I refused”
Consent
In a private conversation with Croucher today, in light of his denial of the anonymous allegations against him, he apparently has expressed his own idea of what he feels consent to mean. A definition that flies in the face of that accepted legally and societally:
“[He] clarified that actually it wasn’t a contradiction, because despite the fact that I made it clear I wasn’t consenting to a kiss, in his mind he was still sure I wanted it because he thought my reasons for saying no were something he could ‘make me feel better about’ or that I ‘did want it, but just needed help getting that issue out of the way’”
It remains to be seen whether there will be more statements made alleging that Day has applied his apparent ideas of “consent” to them, but it is certain that what has already been said will constitute a damning verdict in the eyes of many and will increase calls for Day to be removed from the community in much the same way that other YouTubers like Tom Milsom, Mike Lombardo, Kelly Montoya and Eddplant have been after similar allegations were made against them.
Facing the Problem
It also further emphasises questions of whether the concept of YouTube celebrity and the general culture surrounding it has allowed a atmosphere conducive to abuse to develop and what can possibly be done to combat that in the future.
Founder of VidCon and prominent early Vlogger Hank Green has said that “you cannot fix a problem if you cannot face a problem”.
What facing the problem will mean for the community is unclear, but it cannot be allowed to become empty words.
Presumably sparked by yesterday’s revelations of sexual abuse allegedly committed by YouTube musician Tom Milsom against his then underage former girlfriend Olga, three anonymous blogs making similar allegations against fellow Sons of Admirals singer and vlogger Alex day have subsequently surfaced.
http://pepperysalts.tumblr.com/post/79362677352/sexual-abuse-and-youtube
http://ohnoitsallcomingout.tumblr.com/post/79379767940/how-i-found-out-alex-day-is-a-dick
http://infinitelovewithoutfulfilment.tumblr.com/post/79377706251/alex-day-is-a-sexual-predator-who-targets-underage
One account states that Day sexually assaulted her when she was just 14 and that he then subsequently stalked her over the course of a year or more, another account states that he assaulted her while she was sleeping and emotionally manipulated her into staying with him and accepting his unwanted advances.
The last simply says that he used her to cheat on his current girlfriend and mislead her about the relationship.
The blogs have thus far not provided any specific contextual information, corroboration or evidence of the alleged assaults.
Denial
Day has since made a post on his tumblr (http://that-alexday.tumblr.com/post/79388676278/on-mistakes) acknowledging and explicitly denying the allegations, saying that:
“At no point in my life have I ever had a sexual relationship with someone under the age of consent. (For full disclosure, I’ve said publicly that I lost my virginity at age fourteen, but the girl in question was sixteen - the UK age of consent - so this point stands.) At no point in my life have I ever undertaken any romantic activity, sexual or otherwise, without being sure the other person wanted it”
He added that:
“Ultimately, the decision to believe me, or continue to support my work, is yours alone”
Reaction
The reaction to the allegations has been mixed, with some coming out in direct support of the anonymous blogs, saying that the accusations against Milsom convinced survivors to come forward, as sometimes happens in such cases, while others have questioned the authenticity and motives of their statements.
Unlike Tom Milsom, no prominent YouTubers have denounced him so far and his work remains firmly in place on the DFTBA records website.
Also in contrast to Day, Milsom has released no statement on the allegations made against him.
[This post will be updated with any new information that becomes apparent, all updates will be described here]
In a tumblr post (http://olyusha.tumblr.com/post/79236837547/hmm-ok-well-more-lets-start-with-weird) his former girlfriend Olga has revealed that Milsom raped and otherwise sexually and emotionally abused her over the course of their six month relationship, which started when she was just 15 and progressed to physical abuse shortly after she turned 16, under the legal age of consent in Missouri. The two met at Vidcon 2010 when she was 14 and he was 21.
This is not the only post Olga has made about Milsom’s behaviour, this just being the first to spark widespread condemnation of the musician. Along with details of multiple alleged assaults they include a screen grab of a conversation between them which apparently shows Milsom acknowledging his actions, saying that “certainly there are things about our relationship that were questionable”.
In regards to coming forward now she has said that:
“it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t my fault ok i blamed myself for a very long time i figured there must’ve been something wrong with me if i wasn’t enjoying it because so many girls my own age would’ve fucking killed to be where i was and i had to put it to the back of my mind for a long time because it was so shameful and i didn’t want to admit to anyone that was skeptical of our relationship that maybe i’d been wrong and stupid and now years down the road i’ve had a lot of time to think about it and i’ve learned a lot more about sexual abuse and i started to really understand and line up the events”
Reaction
Milsom’s work has already been removed from the DFTBA records online shop and from the lineup of this years Summer in the City event by former close friends Liam Dryden and Alan Lastufka, organiser of SitC and co-founder of DFTBA records respectively and who -along with other prominent YouTubers- have also made posts repudiating Milsom’s actions.
“I am making no attempt to hide the fact Tom and I were once friends. He spent a weekend at my house, we worked on numerous songs and other musical projects together back in 2009. But hearing about some of the things he’s done, and was doing back then, has hurt, and I no longer wish to make another dollar off his fame or name”
Hank Green has also made a statement regarding it, making particular mention of the fact that the two first met at VidCon, the largest annual event within the community.
“I met Olga in 2010 at VidCon. She was a very smart, very clever, very cool young woman. […] I had no inkling that they had become a couple. I am horrified and extremely disappointed in myself that I was not able to realize that this was happening and put a stop to it […] […]the more fact that it existed infuriates me…sexual relationships need to be equitable and they can’t be when people are in dramatically different life stages or when one person enters the relationship as a fan of another.”
This follows a number of other allegations against popular YouTubers, namely against musicians Eddplant, Kelly Montoya and most notably, Mike Lombardo, who was sentenced to 5 years in prison and made to register as a sex offender just 2 weeks ago.
Lombardo was made the subject of an FBI investigation after a friend of a underage girl he was grooming tipped them off to his activities and evidence was subsequently found on his phone.
Wider Problem
Much has been said about “fangirls” and the exaggerated social gap that has developed between popular producers of YouTube content and the consumers of that content since the end of the relatively egalitarian culture of the website’s beginning. This gap is particularly concerning when those consumers tend to be young and impressionable.
Examples of the power creators wield over their viewers include fairly innocuous things like asking for votes to win competitions or crowd sourcing funding for concerts.
However, there have also been incidents that led to accusations of overinflated egos, such as people crowd surfing over fans at gatherings, mismanaged events that led to serious injuries and sometimes of outright exploitation.
The question now is whether what these YouTubers are believed to have done (in Lombardo’s case convicted of) is simply an example of the wider societal rape and sexual assault problem and the repugnant actions of individuals, or, whether the attitude of superiority that exists within some sections of the YouTube community has become a far, far more serious problem.
The fact is that her age and their relationship was no great secret. She was his fan, and they met at VidCon.
There is a responsibility in that and it belongs to everyone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QYAQuhPjCY
^ Michael Aranda expounds upon the history of the happy meal in a musical fashion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru6UIcHR5_E
^ Are you feeling all warm and fuzzy and at peace with the world after that? Good, meet Wiggles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdlJfwN3Jck
^ After that experience you should be feeling frightened and in need of comfort food. Let Grace take care of your Halloween themed candy needs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPnGvjmIgZA
^ Scishow’s great minds series takes on Nicola Tesla
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Csjr8bXvPw
^ Finally, Mike Rugnetta ponders whether Doctor Who fulfils the requirements for a religion
