Passing is a tricky subject. Not all trans people want to pass, because some view passing as perpetuating the problems with our culture’s idea of what gender is—that it’s a binary, and those who are genderqueer or transgender are not valid. I totally understand that argument and actually agree with it! And yet, I also have to deal with the discrimination if I am not passing. Because, being cis and passing are privileges! And so …
… I want to provide some tips that I wish I had when I started transitioning. I think these tips are also good for people who identify as masculine but want to present as more stereotypically feminine.
1. Craft a Good Skin Care Routine
When I first started transitioning I saw a lot of youtubers really stress makeup for MTFs. For me, makeup was never really an option though, partly because I’m just not very good at it, but also because I hate the sensation of having something on my face that could rub off onto someone else’s clothes lol. So if you are like me, don’t worry; getting into a good skin care routine is just as valuable!
It took me a while to learn what an actual skin care routine was. I didn’t know that there is a basic form or order that everyone follows, no matter their specific products. I didn’t know that you are supposed to apply cleanser—let dry, toner—let dry, optional serums or eye creams—let dry, moisturizer, and then sunscreen.
(For anyone interested in specifics, my routine looks like this:
Cataphil Facial Cleanser, Thayers Rose Petal Witch Hazel Toner, Optional Moisturizing Mask, ROC Retinol Corexion Night Cream (only at night), Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion
I personally haven’t found a facial cleanser as good as Cetaphil. I also haven’t found Toner as good as Thayers. Apparently toner is important for balancing skin PH before applying moisturizer. This can be a big deterrent for acne and decrease overall irritation of your skin, also smoothing out the appearance of pores. I love Cerave moisturizers because they have 3 ceramides that help maintain the health of your skin’s barrier, which also can help get rid of pimples and generally soothe your skin. And I use Roc retinol because I wanted the strongest over the counter cream I could get. It’s never too early to start anti-aging/blemish correction/pore minimizing treatments lol)
2. Keep Your Eyebrows Subtle
One thing I do that’s different than when I first started is with my eyebrows. I used to idealize a very thin brow and a high arch, but I don’t anymore. I think I went overboard with my brows and ended up looking less natural and more startling than I wanted to lol.
3. Pick the Right Hairstyles for Your Face Shape
So, if you talk to hairdressers, stylists, or people who went to beauty school they will tell you that, in theory, “ideal” feminine face shape is the oval and that female celebrity hairstyles often accentuate this shape in order to create the most flattering or feminine appearance possible.
So, for the girls who already have a super oval face, you don’t really have to do much I guess, but I definitely was not in that category.
I, like many trans girls, have a more square or oblong face and, consequently, I benefit from having hair that is shoulder length or longer, with some layers (especially around the face). Alternatively, you can pull pieces out of your hair (when it is pulled back) to fall around your face and frame it. This helps to not only make my head look a bit smaller (cis women usually have smaller heads than AMABs) but also created a more rounded, ovular shape.
Another thing that I find helps me pass is wearing my hear up in a high bun. This might seem counterintuitive since you would think that it would make your head seem bigger, but I think it actually helps to create that oval. I hardly ever get misgendered when my hair is up.
4. Consider Getting Fringe (Bangs)
Trans girls (especially those who transitioned in their 20s or later, like me) sometimes have a more pronounced brow ridge. This is literally just one the results of testosterone on the skull. But one easy and cute way to “correct” this, is to get medium length or long bangs. It not only hides that brow ridge but also can make your face look a bit smaller. If you think they look too boxy or thick, you can always have the stylist thin them out or put layers in them. This can look really pretty and natural.
For me, even though I don’t currently have bangs cut into my hair, I still like to pull my hair back or up and then pull pieces out to a kind of long bang section. I think it can look feminizing.
5. Go Retro with High Waisted Pants
Another anatomical difference between AFABs and AMABs is the length of the legs compared to the length of the torso. AFABs often have longer legs and proportionately shorter torsos. But don’t fear, this can be “corrected” with with some careful wardrobe choices.
High waisted pants make your legs look a bit longer and your torso a bit shorter, which is ideal. If you are having trouble keeping high waisted paints up, you can wear a belt. I personally like high waisted pants because, unlike when I wear leggings, I don’t even have to tuck to look ultra feminine.
6. Pick Up Some Crop Tops and Half Shirts
Along the same lines, crop tops and half shirts can make your torso look proportionately smaller. These can be combined with some leggings or even flowy pants that you pull up above your hips.
7. Have Fun with Heels or Moderate Platforms
You get the idea; giving your legs a boost will make your proportions match that of most AFABs better.
I personally like platforms because I don’t like wearing heels for an extended period of time but I can totally rock my platform slip-ons and boots for dayzzz.
8. Embrace Oversized Sweaters and Shirts
Oversized sweaters can actually make you look smaller, and can hide broader shoulders, especially when they are worn open with a cute formfitting top underneath or even just a camisole.
9. Wear Perfume or Body Spray
This is something I just got into recently. I think it’s one of those finishing touches that can make a big difference. People aren’t going to think you are man when you give off the most beautiful subtle scent of white jasmine lol.
And you can find a scent that feels right for you. Maybe some of them feel too feminine and that’s ok!
10. Get Into the Small Details
Along the same lines, a lot of the small details not only make you less likely to get clocked; they also make you feel great! For me this has involved doing my nails, wearing dangly or hoop earrings, and getting a few rings and bracelets from plato’s closet. (They have pieces there for $1 or $2! It’s fun!)
11. Don’t Be Afraid to Work on Your Voice
When I first started transitioning I literally felt dysphoric just thinking about my voice, so for anyone out there with the same experience, don’t feel bad! It’s ok to ignore your voice, but it’s also ok to work on it.
I watched sooo many youtube videos and even went to voice therapy, but at the end of the day, I found that just speaking the lowest part of my falsetto (that sort of weird mickey mouse voice) eventually led to me settling into something that sounded more passable.
12. Just Have Confidence and Be Yourself!
I’m sending so much love rn to all of you girls. If you want to chat more or anything, or just need some support, just send me an email [email protected]
We are here to serve our community, to empower our siblings in struggle to the best of our abilities. But we can’t do that without your feedback!
What do you want to see from Trans Empowerment Project next year? What did you love, like, or dislike about our efforts this past year, and what do you want to see more of moving forward?
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