#tw biased opinions

I rate some hetalia ships for fun

England/France:10/10 (unbeatable old men arch nemesis domestic bickering childhood friends afsgshsjk layers and layers of history enemies to lovers perfection. ride or die, they deserve each other for better or for worse)

Russia/America:9/10 (this shit is just…so innovative with the historical intrigue, character possibilities, bonding over astrophysics, like a younger, crazier FrUk but lack of source material interaction sucks)

Germany/France:7/10 (awkward serious younger man with a dramatic older man office romance. nothing more satisfying than making their partnership work in spite of their differences)

France/America:7/10 (they’re underrated, have history and moments in the source material – mentor-mentee, both too full of themselves to last longer than a year tops dating, but boy will they have fun and be silly together)

GerIta, AmeriPan: 5/10 (solid, I see the appeal but they’re better off as friends in my humble opinion)

England/America:3/10 (usuk is not my cup of tea, because incompatible personalities, power imbalance, and I just prefer the adopted brother angle more, but giving it a 3 for decent AU fanworks where they have no familial ties or when it’s one-sided)

Russia/France, Prussia/England: 2/10 (they’re too similar… attitudes, hobbies, tastes, but I can see a fling or friends with benefits)

Spamano, PruCan, AmeLiet, Franada: 1/10 (I don’t get it or care for any of these, but will shrug it off if i see it in passing)

China/Russia/America:9/10 (this trio is actually peak comedy and I’ve read a few nuggets of fics that get it right. platonic works too. The intrigue is amazing, like, China/America are canonically business partners and rivals. Cool. Russia/China are canonically old allies and friends who hang out and are constantly trolling America, as the only two ppl who have posed a threat to him and command his attention and/or paranoia. America/Russia in modern day strips get along pretty well, make passive-aggressive jokes, smiling cheekily while scaring the shit out of everyone else. i love how china is a tired 4000+ yr old man putting up with these two man children)

France -> England <- America: 0/10 (ha! as if France or America would ever fight over England romantically. get this ooc shit away from me. EVEN IF America wants England he’d go to France to vent, and France is mature enough to stay out of it. He’d comfort America after the heartbreak OR if England is down to fuck for some reason, France would be supportive and considerate. hello??? England is the bitter ex who’ll stop at nothing to win his love back)

England -> France <- America: 7/10 (with France in the middle of this triangle, now you got my attention. Chasing someone suave and out of his league that would piss England off is pretty in-character for America + England resenting France for influencing America out of petty jealousy? + France indulging America’s crush to provoke England? good shit. they’re all assholes)

I rate some naruto ships for fun

Sasuke/Naruto:100/10 (the magnum opus. Itachi ships it. Gaara ships it. The fox demon ships it. Kishimoto himself ships it, probably. The range and quality of fan works, the sheer intensity and epic ROMANCE, front and center in the literal TEXT/source material, gob-smacking thematic, structural FIT, making other pairings look like crack pairings)

Naruto/Sakura:5/10(I can support this with development or as a side pairing, if u ppl insist on hetero Naruto. They have a great friendship to build on. tho realistically, 99% of their dates and phone calls will be about Sasuke)

Sasuke/Karin:4/10 (I tolerate if done well, because Karin has that mutual respect & partner in crime dynamic on top of her crush, and ultimately likes him for who he is and will stick by him even when he doesn’t return her affections in the same way – and Sasuke can learn to love her over time, aka, if you insist on having hetero Sasuke)

Naruto/Hinata:1/10(*with gritted teeth*Iget where it comes from but they’re so bland, forced, and comes off as a male fantasy)

Sasuke/Sakura:0/10(no.)

Naruto -> Sasuke <- Sakura:10/10(this is how they act in canon, especially Shippuden.)

Sasuke -> Naruto <- Sakura: 5/10(ah, bisexual confusion starring Naruto can be entertaining. Sasuke pines from a distance. Cue the romcom drama, friendzoning, and hilarious misunderstandings)

Naruto -> Sakura <- Sasuke: 0/10 (pffff. the idea that Sasuke would compete with Naruto for a girl he rejected twice is hilarious. Poor Sakura wishes their rivalry was about her. in reality, she’s always the third wheel. Naruto, despite his crush on Sakura as a genin, competes to prove himself. He got competitive with Sasuke because he’s jealous OF Sasuke. It was mainly about himself. and Sasuke. Not Sakura.)