#tw nsfw mention
Hello everyone… I hope you all had an amazing winter break and holiday :)
However, there is something important I need to talk about. It’s something I have brought up several times before, and needs to be mentioned again.
I recently logged back onto tumblr after a two week break, I can back to an astonishing amount of nsfw, ddlg/cgl, and very triggering blogs such as e!d blogs and s!h following me, interacting, and reblogging from me. Please.. it’s starting to affect me a lot, I’m a **minor** as well as an age regressor, and someone with trauma and mental illnesses. If you see my dni and this post and decide to follow anyways, that is absolutely unacceptable and I will report your account.
Aside from that.. I have made the very hard decision to let this go. I will be staying on the platform, and create a lot more original content, and I will (unfortunately) try my best to stop monitoring my account. This is hard, as I will most likely have a lot more uncomfy interaction, but the stress of constantly monitoring and checking every blog that follows me is honestly just too much. I NEVER wanted to have to make this decision, but if my boundaries won’t be respected anyways, there’s no point in trying to uphold them
If you are an age regressor, a sfw caregiver, a petre, a supporter, or ANYONE in the **cglre** community, please please interact, please spread this message as many other underage and age accounts also have this problem.. thank you for reading <33 and have an amazing day :)
~Bun
I did the same thing, because constantly checking blogs ended up triggering almost constant intrusive thoughts and made me unconsciously mentally link my agere with nsfw stuff, which of course made me really stressed an uncomfortable. It’s really sad that this is an actual problem in this community.
I hope your stress eases, and that life treats you well.
☆ streamer!au jaehyun | *this post was commissioned
warnings: catboy shenanigans, mildly nsfw (mostly power dynamic stuff)
that cocky, flirtatious, egotistical e-boy fevered sex dream jung jaehyun is actually just a worshiping, groveling, gratified by a sense of high humiliation and a single word from another person who treats him, to his own consent and want, like another nameless pick up in the dark.
there’s something almost risky about even being in the same room as jaehyun when he’s streaming. it’s not like anyone knows. not his obsessive fanbase that’s watching him through the webcam, not his other housemates - all professional esports players who secretly seethe with jealousy at the fact that all jaehyun has to do is flash a slither of skin and he gets more subs than they can even imagine to earn, sometimes maybe jaehyun even forgets because he’s trying so hard to play those stupid games of his. but you can easily remind him of your presence. not just in this room of course, but in his existence.
jaehyun is laughing at something, probably a donation message. he’s wearing the headseat - that pink one with those large cat ears he got as a gift. he’s even put that glitter collar on that was supposed to just be a joke, but that has become a signature. he lifts his large hand up, the palm open - leading down into strong arms and a wide chest - but then he curls it into a faux paw, looking into the webcam through his lashes and fucking meows. you almost laugh out loud, not because of how he looks, but because just that is probably driving troves of people crazy. all you have to do is search jaehyun’s name on twitter and its tweet after tweet: begging, imagining, manifesting thoughts that are far right of what you might call ‘morality’ or you know ‘general public friendly’.
you turn toward him, setting your phone down. he can’t see you over the monitors but you hear his phone ping a second later and his free hand that’s not on the mouse reaches for it. it takes maybe three seconds for him to read the message you sent and then you hear him start talking.
“gonna queue up the next game, but i gotta go do something real quick. mods can be in charge.”
he takes the headset off, which is a little sad, those ears on him are delightfully embarrassing. whenever you bring them up, whenever you bring up the whole catboy thing, jaehyun gets red down from his ears. “aren’t cats supposed to listen to their owners?” you’d smirk against his skin “i didn’t know cats needed so much attention. you shouldn’t be so desperate jaehyun.”
before he moves around his setup to come over to you - he stops and leans down - his shirt is loose and baggy and he winks into the cam.
“don’t have too much fun without my, right nya?”
with that he straightens up, stretches and makes sure the visible line of his hips shows fast enough that no one can clip it and get him banned - but that everyone can see it crystal clear. he finally turns and makes his way around the intricate desk where he spends most of his hours streaming to the bed thats hidden behind it.
“did you mute the stream?”
he nods, the edge of his pretty lips twitches and you think its a little fascinating how nervous he gets every time. you’ve been in jaehyun’s life for a while now, you think one day he’ll be acclaimed to you. to your voice, to your face, and to your touch. but he never seems to be - it’s like the first night whenever you decide he’s done enough toying around with his online audience and you are real and you are the one that makes the rules of the relationship thats blossomed between you and one of the most popular men on the internet.
you don’t get up, instead jaehyun gets down with his knees on the carpet and his face leveled at your hips - you put a hand out to hold his cheek, and although the room is dimly light, there’s enough that you can see something dull in the honey browns of his eyes.
like he’s preparing himself for it - but he doesn’t know what it is.
you want to make a quip about how good he’s been already, this cat persona of his has already taught him where he belongs when he’s in front of you. you know, like this, at your feet. but at the same time you don’t want to jump right into all that. instead you take a moment just to hold his face still in your hand and then run your fingers up from the nape of his neck into his hair and tug at it slightly so his jawline tips up.
“what did my message say?”
“that i should come to you.”
“so why didn’t you do that immediately.”
jaehyun racks his brain, to most other people it would seem he did just that. but you’re referring to his flirtatious, don’t have too much fun without me, that he wasn’t obligated to pause to say. he finally figures it out and a small, breathy apology escapes his lips. you let ur hand slip back down to the nape of his neck and jaehyun swallows.
you realize he took the ears off, but the collar is still there. you reach out to slip your fingers through the glittering band and then tap your nails against his warm skin.
“get up.”
you let go and he stands, you follow suit and he’s definitely got some height and frame on you. it’s what makes everything so much more visceral for him. you might look like you shouldn’t have so much control over him but you do. jaehyun knows that if you were to tell him to fetch, he might as well get down on all fours and do it.
“we should turn the webcam around.”
you put your hands on his shoulders and let your nails tap through the fabric of his shirt. it simulates, in jaehyuns mind, the urge to feel them on his bare skin. your nails, your lips, your teeth. he tenses though because his mind is inching toward the primal instinct of being touched and yet you also just offered to do something that could potentially ruin his career.
but jaehyun is at this point less a trapped fly in a spiders web as he is a willing and wanting participant in these mind games you spin around him. he swallows again.
“if you want to, i can turn it around.”
you look at him and jaehyun thinks he can see the magnetic pull in the middle of your iris that pushes all of his gravity toward you.
“you want your fans to see you? aren’t you hungry for attention.”
“if you think they should see me, if you give me permission then-”
one hand goes up to touch the collar again, tug at it, slip past it and rest on jaehyun’s pulse. your second hand is also already halfway down his arm.
“i dont know, im asking what you think. do you want them to see? you basically offer yourself up to them everyday as it is. don’t you think they’d want to see something more?”
your hand wraps and unwraps around his wrist. you are not breaking eye contact with him and jaehyun’s mouth goes dry.
“don’t you think they want to see their favorite catboy be treated like the pet he really is?”
you don’t change your expression or your tone. you don’t have to because the spinning mess in jaehyun’s mind is evident from how hot his skin his getting and you don’t even have to touch too much to know he’s excited and anxious, curious and terrified.
in his mind you imagine, and you imagine correctly, that there is a reel playing of him and you in front of the webcam - a little grainy because of the distance from the bed.
his voice breaking in front of his thousands of viewers and your laughter is filling through the cracks of the sounds he makes.
he thinks about how his body might look, a vibrant blush quilted over every inch. the way there are marks of contrasting blossoming colors on the dips of his ones and the lines of his muscles.
how he looks flat against the sheets, eyes shut tight, spinning euphoria around his head and a flame from hells graces itself knotting lower and lower and deeper inside him.
his neck and your hand, his senseless and repetitive pleas for you that at some point sound like the ramblings of someone completely mad, slurring as spit roams down his chin because he’s become a mess and his body has given up all function to your whim.
but then he thinks about how you would look - and then something in him flips.
“i don’t want them to see-”
he almost says, i dont want them to see you. but he stops because its not his choice to make. if you offered to be in front of the camera with him, then he would abide by that wish no matter what kind of damage it would do to him or his job or his fanbase. because you’ve always been more than that. in one way because of the way he was infatuated with every little detail about you, but also because you were undeniably and inevitably a huge part of the reason he was even alive. some might see that kind of crazed devotion and say it was wrong, but jaehyun has given up on caring about what others might see and say. it is what you see and what you say and what you want to do - to him - forever.
you know what he had wanted to say and you know why he’d stopped himself. for that, you reward him with a small and chaste little kiss on his adams apple. he buzzes at the contact and you know he wants to envelope you in his arms. had you been out on the street or just enjoying some time together anywhere else you would have been happy to let it happen.
but in this little room, with that computer and webcam so near. the high tense situation of - what if the mute button isn’t really on? what if everyone watching could just see that im here, know that the precious idea of jaehyun that they jerk themselves off too isn’t the real him.
that cocky, flirtatious, egotistical e-boy fevered sex dream jung jaehyun is actually just a worshiping, groveling, gratified by a sense of high humiliation and a single word from another person who treats him, to his own consent and want, like another nameless pick up in the dark.
you don’t think you can allow that. you let your hand snake from his neck to the edge of his mouth, you pry it open and let your finger graze its way inside. jaehyun leans forward a little and he could topple you backwards but he knows better and he wants when this all ends for it to be him pressed to those sheets with you overcasting him and every one of his five senses
when there’s a ping, its the sound of the message on his screen thats asking if he’s still there for the queue. jaehyun, with one look from you, would ignore it and leave his fans waiting for hours and his fellow teammates stuck without him, but you push away from him and say he should get back to it.
he hesitates, which only means he’s really considering disobeying, just to have you touch him again. but he ends up returning to his seat. and moments ago, half a second from breaking out into a needy, begging pant around the finger you’d placed at the edge of his lips for you to please start - please make him go back down on his knees - please just let him ….. please just let him get absolutely destroyed by you.
he know plasters that inviting smile on his face, places the cat eared headphones on his head and pouts when answering what took him so long. oh an emergency in the house, it’s all good.
“oh why did i mute myself? well i didn’t want any noises to bother you guys. the emergency might have gotten loud - but thankfully we avoidided that.”
you stifle a snort. from the way jaehyun has crossed his legs in his chair - his knuckles turning white on the mouse. you don’t think he’s all that thankful that an emergency between you two was avoided. but oh well, you can wait. you’re not in a hurry. jaehyun’s cute little job of prancing around the imagination of his fans is what makes him his money. and you smile to yourself because that’s all he does. he prances through their minds. for you, he’s readily available, cat ears, no cat ears, all those loose shirts and grey sweatpants …. or nothing at all.
