#unpopular remus lupin

(High school AU! Well, I suppose Hogwarts is also high school, but the more cliché high school AU And the first fic where I’ve written Sirius not as super popular)

Remus and Sirius are all the way at the bottom of their high school’s social hierarchy, but still, Remus can’t help but admire the popular group, with their easygoing manner and confidence. So of course, when one of the popular guys starts showing an interest in Sirius, Remus feels jealous. Just not in the way he expected.

Newfound Popularity

“Glad you could make it!” Fabian Prewett smiles brightly at Remus, holding the door open to the ice cream shop that’s right next to their school.

“Yeah,” Remus says, his cheeks slightly reddened. “Glad you asked me.”

They walk inside and stop in front of the counter. Fabian Prewett turns to Remus. “What would you like?”

“Eh, I’ll have a chocolate milkshake with caramel syrup?”

“A chocolate caramel milkshake for him, and a plain frozen yogurt for me please,” Fabian Prewett tells the employee with another one of those charming smiles, who blushes and nods.

They sit across from each other at a small table, Remus awkwardly fiddling with the lid on his milkshake. Maybe he should’ve ordered something cooler, something less sweet? Sirius is always teasing him about his love for sugary drinks…

“So, I don’t think we’ve ever really talked much, huh?” Fabian Prewett asks.

“No.” Remus scrapes his throat. “No, not really.”

Fabian Prewett is really handsome, looking at him with those sparkling green eyes, and those cute freckles. Not to mention that, as captain of the swimming team, he’s in excellent physical shape. Tall and lean, and those shoulders… Which immediately explains why Remus and Fabian Prewett have never really talked before. They are in completely different leagues. Remus at the bottom of the social ladder, Fabian Prewett all the way at the top. Remus was shocked when Fabian Prewett asked him out for ice cream, to say the least.

“So…” Fabian Prewett drawls. “I actually wanted to ask you about Black.”

Remus’ eyes narrow in suspicion. “Sirius? What about Sirius?”

Fabian Prewett might be all handsome and charming, but if he thinks he can talk crap about Remus’ best friend in front of him, he’s got another thing coming! Even if Sirius and Remus aren’t on the best of terms right now, they will always have each other’s back. While Remus was all excited after Fabian Prewett’s invitation, Sirius had reacted irritated, and had cut Remus off whenever he spoke of it. Almost as if he were jealous, or in any case, like he just couldn’t bring himself to be happy for Remus and that stung.

At the start of high school, the social hierarchy is established, and people are looking for easy victims to pick on to make their on position more secure. Remus was, unfortunately, the perfect victim. He was a pale, sickly boy, and because he was so often sick as a child, he had grown up isolated, making him socially awkward to top it off. Another easy victim was the boy who came from that weird, posh family, who lived in that creepy old manor just outside of town. The Blacks were known for acting like they still lived in the middle ages, thinking they’re better than everyone else and looking down their noses at other people. They dressed their son up in stuffy old clothes and cut his hair in a weird, outdated style. On top of that, Sirius had prominent cheekbones and exaggerated features that did not match his boyish face and gave him an awkward appearance.

Remus and Sirius were forced together solely due to the fact that no one else wanted to be around them. At first, Remus had been reluctant to spend time with the odd boy, thinking that maybe having no friends would be the preferable option. Sirius had a permanently haughty look on his face and was very blunt in his interactions. But then again, could Remus really afford to be picky?

He had given Sirius a chance, and that was the best decision he ever made. Upon getting to know him better, Remus found Sirius to have his heart in the right place, and to be intelligent and funny. Sirius, in turn, seemed appreciative of Remus’ kindness and dry wit. They hit it off, and what had begun as a forced companionship, became a deep friendship. Sure, people still made nasty remarks and there was the occasional ‘shoving against the lockers’, but honestly, high school wasn’t all that bad with a best friend you can always rely on.

At one point, Sirius went with Remus to Remus’ house after school to work on a project together. From that moment on, it became customary for Sirius to go to Remus’ after school, and he was there every day. Remus started noticing that Sirius was reluctant to go home. Whenever Remus mentioned his home life or his family, something haunted would appear in Sirius’ eyes and that usual mischievous glint would disappear. One day, Remus’ mother came home much later than usual due to a flat tire, and Sirius and Remus were still watching a movie in the living room, having completely lost track of time. Worriedly, his mother asked Sirius whether his parents won’t be missing him for dinner and whether he’d told them he’ll be late. “Oh no,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Both my parents and I prefer me being around as little as possible. The maid will sometimes leave some food on the fridge, but most often, she forgets…” Remus’ mother had been horrified. It was never discussed, but from that moment on, she cooked extra large portions and set the table with one extra plate.

It was Remus and Sirius against the rest of the world. Well, the rest of the school at least, but when you’re in high school, that is the rest of the world. That was another thing Remus had learned and come to appreciate about Sirius: his fierce and unwavering loyalty. Sure, they would tease each other and poke fun at one another, but when it came down to it, Sirius was always on his side. He ignored what people said about him, and barely batted an eye when people would shove him against a locker. Yet, he was often in detention for getting in fights, as he refused to let anyone get away with targeting Remus. He was very protective of Remus. The same fierce protectiveness Remus felt when Sirius had been with his parents and quickly pulled down his sleeve to hide the bruises on his arm, claiming it was ‘nothing’.

Where they were different, was that Sirius didn’t care what people thought of him, and he scoffed at that pretentious, popular lot. Remus, on the other hand, had inherited this very unfortunate trait from his mother, namely a desire to be liked. He looked up to the popular kids. It were almost never the popular people who were mean, and sometimes even cruel. The ones who were really popular were comfortable and secure enough that they didn’t need to put others down to make themselves feel better. People like Fabian Prewett and his brother Gideon, Caradoc Dearborn, president of the student council, Lily Evans, captain of the debate team and according to many the cutest girl in school, maybe only equalled by her best friend Marlene McKinnon from the gymnastics team, and of course James Potter, captain of the football team, weren’t necessarily mean to people like Remus and Sirius, but they just lived in their own perfect worlds and simply didn’t know Remus and Sirius existed. Actively bullying was more the way of those lower on the social ladder themselves, such as Severus Snape, who was desperately trying to get Lily Evans’ attention, or Peter Pettigrew, who was continuously following James Potter around and craved his approval, or Mary McDonald, who lived to gossip and spread rumours, or Avery, Mulciber, and their little friends, who just enjoyed throwing punches and being mean for the sake of being mean.

Remus admired the popular people in some way. Not because of their looks or status or money, but because of their charm and charisma that draws people in, how they make everything look easy with their easy-going confidence that Remus knows he will never possess, and is therefore intrigued by. His admiration has lead to quite a few, admittedly embarrassing, crushes, of which Fabian Prewett was just the latest one. Which is why it was so shocking Fabian Prewett invited him to get some ice cream together.

“What’s his deal?” Fabian asks, leaning forward on his elbows.

“His deal?” Remus repeats still eying Fabian Prewett suspiciously.

“Yeah, like, is he single? Does he like boys, girls, both, neither? Does he even date at all?”

Remus blinks. “Why do you want to know that?”

Fabian Prewett raises an eyebrow. “Come on, Lupin. Surely you must’ve noticed.”

“Noticed what?” Remus asks, taking a sip from his milkshake.

“Lupin,” Fabian Prewett says pointedly. “Black has gotten hot.”

Remus chokes on his milkshake and starts coughing violently. “W-what?”

“It’s true,” Fabian Prewett says. “He’s so fit! He might be the hottest guy in school at the moment.”

Remus stares at him incredulously.

“Really,” Fabian Prewett says, shaking his head. “You can’t have missed that!”

Well, Remus isn’t blind. Of course he has noticed Sirius doesn’t look the same anymore as when they started junior year.

There’s the growth spurt, for starters. Sirius has teased him too often about getting his growth spurt before Remus for Remus not to have noticed. And after Sirius discovered that working out is a way to get away from his family even more, and a great stress relief at that, he got physically rather fit, so instead of short and scrawny, he’s now lean and muscular. Yes, you can definitely say that Sirius has really grown into his features, and those sharp angles that looked so awkward on a little boy, have turned out to look quite striking on a young man.

Sirius started to seek more stress relief and started working out even more when the situation at home became more dire after his sixteenth birthday, when he came over to Remus’ house late at night, saying that his parents had forgotten, and pretending not to care. Though he did swear that night that he was done. Done talking like they wanted him to talk, done wearing his hair like they wanted him to wear it, done dressing like they wanted him to dress, done trying to be what they wanted him to be. And he stayed true to his words. He has grown out his hair, that is now reaching his shoulders and is long enough to wear in one of those messy buns. Instead of old fashioned formal clothes, he now wears ripped jeans, with scuffed sneakers or even combat boots, band shirts, and of course, the leather jacket.

So yes, Remus has noticed Sirius changed his style, and he’s proud of him for it. And now that he thinks about it, people in school have been looking at Sirius differently. Before, Sirius was mostly invisible, and if people did look at him, it was mockingly or with disdain. Now, Remus realises, people are always looking, and there’s something entirely different in those looks. And yes, Remus may have found himself looking as well, staring at Sirius’ hair at times, amazed at how effortlessly elegant it falls over his face and how soft it looks, and all right, perhaps also wondering if it would feel just as soft. Or when Sirius and he are making homework together, Sirius will sometimes glance up at him, with those striking grey eyes behind that raven black hair, and Remus will feel this tightening in his chest… And yes, he has also admired Sirius’ new, edgy style, and in particular how broad his shoulders look in that leather jacket, or when he walks up the stairs wearing those tight jeans, maybe, Remus has once or twice…

Remus’ face turns red. Fabian Prewett leans back in his chair with a smirk. “See?”

Suddenly, another idea strikes Remus. The idea of Fabian Prewett eying Sirius as he walks up the stairs! He feels a wave of anger rush through him. Fabian Prewett has no right to be ogling Sirius, Sirius isn’t his to ogle! He’s not yours to ogle either, a voice in the back of his mind says. But Fabian Prewett has never liked Sirius before, he has always liked Sirius! But not romantically, right? …Right?

“I know so little about him,” Fabian Prewett sighs. “He’s so brooding and mysterious.”

Mysterious? Remus scoffs. Sure, someone can seem damn bloody mysterious if you’ve never made any bloody effort to talk to him!

“Do you have any idea whether he might be interested in going on a date?” Fabian Prewett asks.

“I… I don’t really…” Remus trails off.

“Right.” Fabian Prewett nods understandingly. “I reckon it’s not a topic you have really been discussing.”

He doesn’t say it, but Remus hears it anyway: since no one ever wanted to date either of you before.

Fabian Prewett scribbles something down on a note, and slides it over to Remus. “Here, my phone number. Give it to him and tell him to text me, okay?” He gets up from his chair and flashes Remus a smile. “Thanks, Lupin. You know, you’re actually a pretty decent guy.”

As Fabian Prewett leaves the ice cream shop, having eaten at most three bites from his frozen yoghurt, Remus stares at the offending piece of paper. If someone would’ve told him beforehand that this would end with Fabian Prewett giving Remus his number, he would’ve been delighted, but now, he wants to burn the paper and flush its ashes through the toilet.

But that wouldn’t be fair to Sirius. He thinks back on these last days, and how, whenever he would mention Fabian Prewett, Sirius’ mood would turn sour. Perhaps he wasn’t afraid his friendship with Remus would change, or envious that it seemed to be Remus, and not him, who got the attention of one of the popular guys, which Remus had already found hard to imagine. Maybe he just genuinely liked Fabian Prewett himself. It would be wrong of Remus to keep this from him.

Remus tries to imagine it. Fabian Prewett and Sirius on a date, holding hands, gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, their shoulders brushing… He feels sick.

Which is normal, of course. He fancied Fabian Prewett himself, he had hoped that maybe Fabian Prewett would be interested in him, only to find out he just wanted to ask him if his best friend would be up for a date, and well, that straight up sucks. What’s not normal, is that the mental image of Sirius in Fabian’s arms makes him want to punch Fabian in the face, and pull Sirius away into his own arms, where he belongs.

Oh no.

“You’re late,” Remus’ mother says while stirring in a pan of sauce.

“I was out with a friend,” Remus replies absentmindedly.

His mother frowns. “Sirius wasn’t with you.”

“An other friend.”

“You don’t have any other friends,” his mother says plainly.

Remus wants to deny it, but the problem is, she’s not wrong. So instead, he just crosses his arms over his chest and says “Sirius and I ate not attached by the hip.”

“Yes, you are,” his mother says plainly.

Remus opens his mouth to protest, but closes it, because, again, she’s right. They are, and Remus has never truly realised what that means to him.

“And I don’t like it one bit,” his mother continues. “Going out with other boys behind Sirius’ back.”

“It isn’t like that.”

“Just be careful, Remus.” His mother waves her spatula at him. “You know what they say, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”

Remus rolls his eyes. “Any more wise words, or can I go to my room now?”

His mother ignores the sarcasm in his voice, and thinks for a moment. “Just this: sometimes what you’re looking for is right in front of you.”

Remus walks up to his room. It was never a question for Remus that Sirius would be there. Even without Remus being there, even with the tension between them lately, it was never a question that Sirius would come here.

When he opens the door, Sirius is lying on his bed, pretending to be reading a book, but Remus knows him too well to be fooled. He can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hand tightens around the cover, and how his eyes are too fixated on one point. Also, what Remus supposes he subconsciously already knew, is now clear as day: Sirius is incrediblyhandsome.

Remus scrapes his throat, and Sirius makes a big show of looking up from his book and pretending to be surprised to see Remus standing there. “Oh, hello there, Remus. I didn’t see you there. Where have you been?”

Remus shakes his head. Sirius knows very well, but Remus decides to humour him. “I was meeting Fabian Prewett today, remember?”

“Oh, was that today?” Sirius might have the face for it, but really, the boy should never pursue an acting career.

“It was,” Remus says. “But you don’t have to worry. Fabian isn’t interested in me.”

Sirius immediately sits up on the bed and tosses the book aside. “He’s an idiot. It’s his loss. You deserve better. The guy smells like chlorine anyway.”

Remus smiles softly. Sirius always has his back. He never needs to doubt that. He sighs. He owes it to Sirius to be honest with him and support him. “Here,” he says, dropping the piece of paper in Sirius’ lap, that, no, he definitely did not want to throw in a trash can on his way home.

Sirius just looks at him. “What’s this?”

“Fabian Prewett’s phone number,” Remus says sourly.

“What on earth do I need Prewett’s phone number for?”

“You should text him,” Remus replies.

“To… tell him he’s an idiot?”

“What? No! No, he’s… Well, he’s into you.”

Sirius stares at Remus like he has grown two heads. “Fabian Prewett hates me.”

“Nah, he doesn’t,” Remus says. “And if he did, it doesn’t matter anymore, because you’re hot now.”

“I am what now?”

“It’s true,” Remus shrugs, trying to act casual about the whole thing. “Apparently, you’re the hottest guy in school now.”

“That’s crazy!” Sirius says incredulously.

“And all the things that made you ‘antisocial’ and ‘weird’ before, apparently make you ‘brooding’ and ‘mysterious’ now that you’re hot.”

Sirius shakes his head. “People are so weird.”

“Anyway,” Remus says. “You should text Fabian.”

“I still don’t see why,” Sirius points out.

“He wants to go on a date with you.”

Sirius raises an eyebrow. “That sounds like his problem.”

“Look, Sirius,” Remus says, taking a deep breath. “I know what you’re doing. I was hoping that Fabian Prewett might’ve been interested in me, and you don’t want to hurt my feelings. I appreciate it, but it’s not necessary. I saw the way you acted when it seemed like Fabian Prewett had asked me out. You were jealous, weren’t you? Well, if you like Fabian Prewett, then I’m going to be supportive.”

Sirius stares at him, then presses his hand to his forehead. “God, Remus, you’re such an idiot.”

Well, that surely wasn’t the grateful response Remus had expected after his grand gesture.

Sirius gets to his feet. “Yes, Remus. I was jealous. But I wasn’t jealous at you because I thought Prewett liked you. I was jealous at Prewett because you like him!”

“You… What?” Remus stammers.

“For the love of- Do I really need to spell it out for you? I. Fancy. You. You. Not Fabian. You.”

“You… you do?”

“Yes, Remus. I do. I have done for a very long time.”

“Why did you never say anything?” Remus exclaims.

“What would’ve been the point?” Sirius retorts. “You were always fancying the next popular hot guy. Artsy Dearborn, jock Potter-”

“We agreed never to talk about that!”

“And now preppy Prewett. Guys all much better than me…” Sirius trails off.

“Oh, Sirius,” Remus says, instinctively cupping Sirius’ cheek. “They can’t hold a candle to you.” He takes a deep breath, readying himself for his Grand Romantic Love Confession. “It has always been you.”

Sirius snorts.

Remus glares at him and swats his arm. “I’m trying to be romantic here! You’re ruining the moment!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Sirius chuckles, holding up his hands. “But you can’t say that like you weren’t hoping to stick your tongue down Fabian Prewett’s throat just ten minutes ago!”

Remus crosses his arms over his chest. “Okay, so maybe not always.”

Sirius smiles, but again, Remus knows him well enough to see the insecurity behind that smile.

Remus runs a hand through his hair. “But I need you to know that there’s some truth to it! I’ve had feelings for you for longer, I just didn’t realise those feelings were more than friendship. And it’s not just because you’re so hot now! I mean, sure, I like looking at you. Who wouldn’t like looking at you? You’re so ridiculously beautiful!”

Sirius blushes, and frustratingly so, that makes him even morebeautiful.

“I only realised when I imagined you and Fabian together, and it just made me so angry. No, that’s not right, now I’m making it sound like I just want you because someone else wants you. I still would’ve wanted you ugly and unwanted!” Remus lets out a frustrated sigh. “I’m really screwing this up, aren’t I? I’m just trying to say that I like you for you, your annoying jokes, your stupid sense of humour that no one ever gets, how bloody stubborn you are, the way you never think before you act –”

Remus doesn’t mind when Sirius cuts off his rambling. He minds even less with Sirius’ method of choice being to press his lips against Remus’.

When he pulls back, Sirius is grinning broadly. “You really think I’m beautiful?”

Remus rolls his eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head.”