Okay, okay, okay, let me start - this isn’t going to be those twenty messy blocks of text you’re used to during the ramblings, but still - it is a biased opion and it’s mine. Shall we start, then?
I am now re-reading every HP original series book and… Sirius has been my favorite character (except Fred & George) since the very first moment he spoke, whether in the books or movies,yet especially when Gary Oldman was portraying him (which makes sense when Prisoner of Azkaban was literally the only Harry Potter thing I wanted to watch as a kid).
And when I grew older I noticed… A SHIT LOAD OF PEOPLE ships Remus and Sirius… So I tried to see it in the books from that moment, to see the dialogue and other stuff regarding their relationship. To which I have only one word - N O. Let me elaborate.
I, myself, am a LGBTQ+ person (I am a pansexual), so please, don’t come after me for being homophobic or whatever the fuck reason you’d come up with. And I personally don’t like the idea of forcing a character into a sexuality they aren’t displaying, hadn’t mentioned or aren’t describe to be. I don’t mean it in a rude way, but fandom tend to do this all the time.
As for Remus, I think he can be a closeted bi/pan, no problem there. He got married to Tonks in the end, he fell in love with her and had a son with her - therefore we know he’s into women, at least partially. However, there’s not an instance of denying in his story arc in which anyone would say that he is not atracted to men.
But as for Sirius… Bro, I really don’t think it’s happening. Either he is a heterosexual man or an asexual (which I gathered from Sirius was never mentioned to date someone). Sure, there isn’t no denying about his hidden gay side either, but the inclination of posibility isn’t as big as in Lupin’s case. Let me tell you why I think so.
First off, there are instances in the books and other materials (I don’t think it made it into the movie) in which Sirius is called out for being a flirt (on Remus’ Pottermore page, for instance: ’He always got the women,’ Remus said when Tonks implied Sirius was handsome).
Second of all - he had muggle women in bikini posters all over his fucking bedroom. Sure, this was a rebellion against his mother Walburga, but if he’d be gay, I think he would put up muggle actors/models up there.
And the last valid point… It is never explicitely said anywhere at any point in the books that Sirius would display any other afection than the friendly/brotherly one towards his friends and Harry - so I think that Sirius is either a cis hetero or an asexual.
And… IF THESE TWO WERE GAY, J. K. WOULDN’T BE CAPABLE OF SHUTTING UP ABOUT IT, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. NOT THAT I TAKE HER SIRIUSLY (HAHA! DUMB JOKE!), ESPECIALLY AFTER THIS INSANE WOMAN TOLD US MRS. WEASLEY CAUGHT RON JERKING OF FIVE SEPARATE TIMES (THANKS FOR THAT, J. K., I HATE IT!), SHE EVEN OPENLY DENIED THESE TWO BEING GAY.
To end this on a good note - I don’t mind shippers at all! Some of the Sirius x Lupin content is sweet, fun, nice and all! I don’t mind bumping into it, I kinda dig it but I still don’t quite agree with it. Thank you for understanding, do what makes you happy. ❤️
Summary: After your family abandons you for falling in love with Regulus, the two of you are on your own until it comes time to deflect to the other side. Now that certain secrets are out and you are forced to be under James’ watchful gaze it’s time to determine if family ties can ever be once again fully mended.
It was another Tuesday. Another order meeting that so many members felt was becoming pointless. It felt as if they were getting nowhere and Voldemort was getting more ahead with each passing day.
“We have some good news for once.”
Moody grumbled as everyone took their seats. No one dared to say anything for a moment as “good news” did not happen often. It seemed bad news was all that any member of the order was entitled to. Dorcas had been killed a week before and was laid to rest the day before the current meeting.
“Do I dare ask what kind of good news are being privy to?”
Sirius asked. He didn’t want to bury another childhood friend. Hell, he didn’t want to bury anybody but funeral and burial seemed like just another occurrence….and he hated it. Moody nodded curtly as he leaned back in his chair.
“It seems Voldemort is taking up some darker magic than we expected…”
“Well, that sure is some good news.”
James grumbled from his place beside Lily. Moody shot him a dark look before continuing.
“If you lot can keep your opinions to yourself for a moment that would be great. As I was saying, Voldemort has apparently taken up making Horcruxes.”
No one in the order made a pleased as punch face upon hearing this information. Sirius leaned back in his chair muttering a quiet “fuck.” He wasn’t sure how Moody considered this good news but here they were.
“With this knowledge, we at least have a method of getting on upon him. I currently have someone working on tracking and a method of destroying the shit.”
Moody continued. James poked a hand up. He wasn’t about to interrupt Moody twice in one night and get hexed.
“How exactly do we know this is happening and who is working on this?”
Moody leaned back in his chair. He knew the next few moments were going to be some of the tensest moments in some time.
“We have someone from Voldemort’s side on our side now.”
No one dared say anything for a moment. Someone deflecting from the death eaters was unheard of. No one was brave enough to. It would have been suicide.
“Dare I ask who it is?”
Marlene commented. Moody stood up and walked to the door. The room was silent as the grave until the moment Regulus Black stepped in with you at his side. James, Sirius, and Lily’s mouths dropped. This was the last thing they EVER expected to happen! The last time that James had spoken to you was the night that you told him that you loved Regulus and were marrying him. After one hell of an argument, James said that he would never speak to you again and you replied with a “fine if that is what you want.” Now here you stood looking just as you had the last time that James laid eyes on you.
“How can we trust them?”
Marlene snapped. Moody turned to the nervous-looking young woman.
“Because I don’t think if Regulus handing over a Horcrux would have happened.”
“He gave you one?”
Sirius commented. He was surprised that his own voice worked. Seeing his little brother in the same room was a bundle of emotions. Sirius was going between furious, heartbroken, and thrilled.
“Yes, I gave him one.”
Regulus said in his neat as a pin eerily calm voice. Moody motioned to the chairs at the table as Regulus wrapped one hand around yours and limped to the seats. Sirius watched quietly a moment before curiosity got the better of him.
“What happened to you?”
Regulus’ cold eyes rolled up to his brother. This would be the first time that the two brothers had spoken in years.
“I almost had my leg ripped off by an inferi trying to get the Horcrux. I don’t recommend it.”
Sirius sat back in his chair as the realization that Regulus was the one that discovered the Horcrux hit home. It wasn’t just him learning information. Regulus had put the puzzle together and gone after the cursed item himself.
You sat quietly at Regulus’ side. When stepping into the room, you glanced at your older brother for a brief moment before looking away. Seeing James was yet another painful reminder of being abandoned because you fell in love with the wrong boy.
“Why would you want to help us?”
Marlene asked, genuinely curious. It had been no secret to the order that Regulus Black was a death eater. In fact, it was information that nearly sent Sirius around the twist when he found out. It had taken James, Remus, and Lily to convince him to not go after his brother and shake some sense into him.
“Because you lot have no idea what you are dealing with nor do you know what you are getting yourselves into. Right now, everyone is grabbing something of value and heading for the hills. If you want to stop Voldemort then this is the way….this is the only way. You can believe what I’m telling you or don’t…it will be your funeral.”
Regulus commented as James turned to you.
“Y/n, is he telling the truth?”
“We wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t.”
You replied. It felt strange talking to James. Hearing him say your name was thrilling yet painful at the same time. It made you feel, if even for a brief moment, as you had as a child. You had an older brother who loved you and wanted to see you do well in life.
“I don’t know why you would bother asking me though. I’m as bad as he is…in your eyes.”
You added. Regulus’ eyes flickered to you. The two of you were in agreement that neither party wanted to be involved with the order. Neither of you wanted to deal with the questioning and judgmental gazes but this was the only choice that you had. This was the only way to get rid of a madman that no one would have the knowledge of knowing how to kill.
James meanwhile ran a hand over his face.
“That’s not true.”
Regulus turned his attention to James. He would have been fine with going over and kicking James in the face or hexing him to kingdom come. Regulus had been the one that cared for you the past few years. He had been the one to see you go through inner hell because your family wanted nothing to do with you any longer. It had all been him. Now here sat big-headed James-fucking-Potter acting as if he were some typical older brother and was talking to you as if it were any other day.
James wasn’t there when you didn’t get an invitation to his and Lily’s wedding. He wasn’t there when you read the birth announcement in the Daily Prophet about their kid’s birth and cried for days. That was all Regulus. He was going to make god damn sure that James never hurt you again.
“Denial at its finest.”
Regulus commented. James turned to Regulus.
“What are you talking about, Black?”
Regulus shrugged before sneering at James.
“Denial is not just a river in Egypt, Potter. You haven’t spoken to your sister in years. None of you have. You call yourself friends? None of you have had anything to do with Y/n from the moment that she agreed to marry me. If you were any kind of brother, you would have dealt with it because I make your sister happy. With friends like the lot of you who honestly needs enemies.”
You wrapped your hand around Regulus’. The last thing that you wanted for him at the moment was to get too worked up. Since the incident with the inferi, Regulus’ had been permanently injured. His legs had never healed properly and he seemed weakened by the position that he was forced to drink. Since the incident, you had taken it upon yourself to care for him. Regulus had cared for you when you had no one; now it was your time to be the good wife and make sure he was well cared for in return.
James meanwhile was staring at the two of you with wide eyes. He wanted to make a comment. James wanted to call Regulus a sister stealing git who turned her to the dark side but he didn’t. Partially because Lily was squeezing his hand so tightly that he was about to lose circulation and also if he wanted to make any progress with you smarting off to your husband would probably be a shitty way to start.
“Okay, let’s just stop. We are all on the same side. Yeah, we have questions but insulting each other is getting nowhere.”
Remus commented from his place at Sirius’ side. Sirius had seemingly forgotten about his ability to speak as he stared at Regulus.
“He’s right. I don’t have the ambition to listen to family drama.”
Moody grumbled before continuing the meeting as if nothing happened. As far as Moody was concerned, the lot of you could work out your own issues when he was no longer there.
Once the meeting was over Moody turned to Remus.
“Sirius and yourself are to keep an eye on them.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow as Remus shrugged. Remus was not about to argue with Moody. It would get him nowhere.
“Keep an eye on us?”
Moody nodded coldly.
“You heard me right. I’m not saying that we don’t trust you but we don’t trust you. You have to earn that. The Horcrux is a good place to start but you both have a long way to go.”
Regulus clenched his jaw as all of the order members minus James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, and yourself sat at the table. Moody turned on his way to the door.
“Fix your shit and get over it. We don’t have time for family drama.”
No one said a word for a few moments. It was as if everyone was just waiting for someone else to say a word. Finally, Sirius decided to say something.
“So the inferi tried to turn you into a pretzel?”
Regulus raised an eyebrow. He wanted to say that he was happy to see his older brother but he wasn’t. Regulus was still bitter at Sirius for choosing the Potters over him. Leaving him in the horror house known as Grimmauld Place with expectations that Regulus never wanted was a poor way to be left.
“Something like that.”
Regulus replied. A silence fell over the room again.
“How’s mum and dad?”
Sirius asked. Regulus rolled his eyes for the 100th time.
“Mum is insane as always and dad is dead.”
“You seem so bothered.”
James muttered. Regulus turned to James with a dark look.
“We don’t all have lovely cozy relationships with our parents, Potter. Some of us have to deal with abuse and unfortunate abandonment. When dad had his heart attack that was another peaceful moment for me.”
Sirius winced. He knew that Regulus and Orion never had a great relationship. Regulus was the son that Orion never wanted and Orion was the father that Regulus was forced to deal with.
“What happened to him?”
Sirius asked. He had never heard exactly what happened to his father. There was an obituary (Where Sirius of course wasn’t mentioned) but no cause of death listed.
“He had a heart attack playing golf.”
Regulus replied. He couldn’t help but smirk at the look of confusion on his elder brother’s face. This was probably the last thing that Sirius ever expected to hear. In Regulus’ mind, Sirius was probably expecting Walbruga to poison him. That’s what Regulus would have thought would be the cause of Orion Black’s death if he wasn’t involved with the family any longer.
“I’m sorry but golf? Like muggle golf? Dad did realize that was a muggle thing right?”
Sirius question, feeling beyond confused. Regulus again nodded as if this was no weird conversation. To Regulus, this was just facts.
“I can’t say why he was investing time in that hobby. Mother thinks it has something to do with some skirt he was chasing. Anyway, there was a swan that dad thought looked at him weird….”
Sirius couldn’t help it but he started laughing interrupting Regulus.
“Merlin help me…a swan? What?”
Regulus blinked coldly.
“Yes, a swan. Apparently, it honked at him and dad decided to whack it with the golf club except his plan backfired. He had a heart attack and the swan lived.”
Sirius couldn’t help the laughter that came out of him. This was possibly the funniest thing that he had heard in some time. Even with Regulus, being as inanimate as inanimate could be, it was the funniest thing that Sirius had heard.
“Damn, all of those years mum spent trying to kill him and he was offed by a swan.”
Regulus wished that he could have laughed. He wished that he could have said that he found it amusing (because it was) but he couldn’t. Regulus couldn’t bring himself to show too much emotion around the people in front of him. Maybe in time, when he learned to trust them, he could but for now, all of his walls were up.
“We would like to be shown to a room. While this conversation has been amusing, Y/n and I are both tired.”
Lily got up quickly.
“We have a guest room upstairs. Dinner should be ready in an hour or so.”
Your heart ached to look at Lily and hear her voice. She had been the sister-in-law that you had always wanted. Hearing her talk brought back the same old wounds as hearing James and Sirius’ voices.
“Thank you.”
You replied as Regulus stood up. Neither of you said another word before leaving the room. Maybe in the coming months, you would find a way to heal old wounds but today was not that day.
The moment the bedroom door closed behind you, Regulus limped to the bed and sat down. You moved to sit beside him.
“Well, here we are.”
You said, keeping your voice down.
“Yes, here we are. Do you hate this as badly as I do? I feel like all of their eyes are upon us like a herd of wild jackals and we are the prey.”
You moved to sit on Regulus’ lap. Snuggling your face against his shoulder, you wanted to disagree. You wanted to say that they were just being careful and everything would smooth out but you couldn’t. Neither of you knew how long this feeling of “being under the microscope” would last. It could be a week, a month, a year, or even the rest of eternity.
“I hate it too, Reggie. I suppose we should get used to being looked at the way we were because it isn’t going to stop until they trust us.”
“Which could be the 12th of never.”
Regulus grumbled. He was again quiet a moment before focusing his attention on your pretty face. Regulus hated seeing you look so down and depressed. He hated it even more that he was the cause you were this way. If he hadn’t agreed to be a death eater, you would never had lost contact with your family. You would never have had to feel so alone and abandoned…but here the two of you were.
“Do you regret it?”
He asked. You frowned turning to look at your husband curiously.
“Regret coming here? We didn’t really have a…”
“No, Y/n. Do you ever regret marrying me? You could have had something different. Your family would have never done you the way that they did.”
You quickly leaned forward and pressed your lips to Regulus’ silencing him for a moment. When you leaned back he gave you a small smile that he reserved only for you.
“Regulus, I regret nothing. I married you because I love you. I’m exactly where I want to be…well maybe not in this room being judged by our siblings but I’m with you. If I didn’t want to marry you then I would have said no. As far as my family…I suppose it shows that the Potters aren’t so damn perfect after all. They made their choice just as I made mine….and I don’t regret anything.”
Regulus nodded before leaning forward and kissing you again.
“I’m sure all of this will end up alright…somehow. Your safety is worth being stuck in a house full of idiots that I despise. Maybe it doesn’t have to be so horrible. We’ll keep to ourselves and mind our own business.”
You moved to make sure the door was locked before pulling your dress over your head to change.
“Minding our own business is a great idea. Let’s see how long it takes one of us to go off on the lot of them. I say a day.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow before smirking.
“You are more generous than I am, love. I say an hour.”
You moved to join Regulus back on the bed.
“At least we have each other.”
Regulus wrapped a hand around yours and squeezed gently.
