#vasovagal

This is my 3rd? Or 4th period off hormones this time around and it’s already making me so sick I have diarrhea and vomiting and the pain is making me moan and cry which is literally something I never do with pain. At 35 I’m now so angry when I think back on all the doctors that told me this was ‘normal’ that dismissed me when I told them I would vomit or pass out in the street from the pain. That never even considered endometriosis as a possibility until I figured that out myself in my late twenties. 25 years of this interspersed with hormones that have made me sick, made me more disabled and at times severely affected my mental health and my relationships around me. At 35 I still feel like I’m no closer to getting this treated. I’m still not being offered the surgery available to most other severe endometriosis sufferers due to concerns with my connective tissue disorder. Before surgery is on the cards I have to try an IUD which comes with its own risks and by most accounts is also extremely painful for people with Ehlers Danlos (and also sometimes even those without that diagnosis). Stumbling out of the bathroom this morning I moan that I guess I have to give it a try. I’m desperate once again. Already. I guess I’ll try anything. I’m done with hormones though. They’re not worth it and too disabling day to day. The difference is stark despite the increased suffering of having periods. I’m doing much better now, hours later. The pain is 'tolerable’ again (as in I can think to type and I was able to hold down a little food and liquids). I’m so thankful and relieved I wasn’t alone today. M looked after me in the early hours as I alternated between toilet, bed and hot bath crying and yelling and eventually vomiting that signature green bile (and my most expensive meds ). Odin brought me the toy I give to him when I put him to bed when he’s feeling bad. MaoMao stayed in bed with me with her incredibly worried expression. Endometriosis is absolute hell and no person should have to live through this. I’m exhausted but angry that we are forced to live this way for so long and gas lighted over our pain tolerance & coping methods. But I’m loved by so many around me ❤