#pelvic floor dysfunction
This is my 3rd? Or 4th period off hormones this time around and it’s already making me so sick I have diarrhea and vomiting and the pain is making me moan and cry which is literally something I never do with pain. At 35 I’m now so angry when I think back on all the doctors that told me this was ‘normal’ that dismissed me when I told them I would vomit or pass out in the street from the pain. That never even considered endometriosis as a possibility until I figured that out myself in my late twenties. 25 years of this interspersed with hormones that have made me sick, made me more disabled and at times severely affected my mental health and my relationships around me. At 35 I still feel like I’m no closer to getting this treated. I’m still not being offered the surgery available to most other severe endometriosis sufferers due to concerns with my connective tissue disorder. Before surgery is on the cards I have to try an IUD which comes with its own risks and by most accounts is also extremely painful for people with Ehlers Danlos (and also sometimes even those without that diagnosis). Stumbling out of the bathroom this morning I moan that I guess I have to give it a try. I’m desperate once again. Already. I guess I’ll try anything. I’m done with hormones though. They’re not worth it and too disabling day to day. The difference is stark despite the increased suffering of having periods. I’m doing much better now, hours later. The pain is 'tolerable’ again (as in I can think to type and I was able to hold down a little food and liquids). I’m so thankful and relieved I wasn’t alone today. M looked after me in the early hours as I alternated between toilet, bed and hot bath crying and yelling and eventually vomiting that signature green bile (and my most expensive meds ). Odin brought me the toy I give to him when I put him to bed when he’s feeling bad. MaoMao stayed in bed with me with her incredibly worried expression. Endometriosis is absolute hell and no person should have to live through this. I’m exhausted but angry that we are forced to live this way for so long and gas lighted over our pain tolerance & coping methods. But I’m loved by so many around me ❤
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to anyone that has any sort of pelvic floor dysfunction and feels burnt out and tired of trying treatments and what not, if you want to pause and take a break from all of that im here to tell you yes do it! i’ve been on a break for a couple of months now and im not ashamed to say it. i felt guilty at first because i felt like i was losing precious time but i then realized i wasn’t, i was just taking care of myself. do it for your mental health and don’t worry this isn’t a race its a whole process and journey that may take a long time so whenever you feel like you need to take a break do it no matter how long that break is, take your time you will be okay and trust that things will happen when they need to
having vulvodynia and vaginismus is crazy like it’s really just pussy out of order 24/7
the fact that there’s really no cure for vulvodynia
in a sex obsessed society having vulvodynia, vaginismus or any other sort of pelvic floor dysfunction is like a curse bc at the end of the day everything in one way or another seems to come back to sex and im just like well i can’t do that so what now
vulvodynia and vaginismus suck not only are they invisible burdens that barely anyone is aware of but it’s also so fucking embarrassing and humiliating like how am i supposed to tell people sorry my coochie is broken what the fuck
ya know one thing that i’m slowly accepting is that its ok for me to feel all this pain and it’s okay to be angry about it i shouldn’t expect myself to be happy about this. i don’t have to pretend. im allowing myself to feel all these things bc it’s all part of me
not to be a downer on my own self but i simply don’t see myself ever having a fulfilling relationship or wtv like hello how is someone gonna want to stay with me when i can’t have sex due to my vagina problems it’s just not realistic also not to mention all the other bagage i carry lol
the things pelvic floor dysfunction has done to my already none existing self-esteem… didn’t have one to begin with but somehow it tanked even lower i guess the impossible is always possible
sex do be kinda disgusting when you really think about it maybe the monks and the nuns did make some points after all
sometimes everything seems to be going just fine and then out of nowhere i remember i have pelvic floor dysfunction *sighs* yeah it fucking sucks lol
had to take a massive break from physio bc depression was just hitting hard and i felt like i was just gonna go crazy eventually but alas im back in business lets go! also to all my vagina owners out there don’t feel bad for putting off your physio exercises even if it’s for a really long time, doesn’t matter the reason, just put yourself first and do what is best for you in the moment. be patient and be kind to yourself, you deserve a break, you deserve some peace of mind. take care of yourself
damn people really be out here with normal functioning vaginas having regular painless sex
would literally rather throw myself off a cliff than to be touched by a person like no thank you stay away
my chronic pain has completely ruined even the idea of ever being intimate with someone i would literally rather die than to be touched i feel so unwanted yet i don’t even want to entertain the idea of someone liking me
im young yet my body feels rotten and wasted like it’s already decaying ready to just become dust. i hate being pointed out that im young as if that means i must be perfectly healthy. i hate feeling like my body has failed me and im not like others. i hate my body and i hate myself
the way so many doctors and medical professionals just don’t be giving a fuck about the patients
